It Goes Without Saying Read online

  “How is Drew with your new living arrangement?” Mari asked.

  “Well. . .” Bria started to say.

  “Oh, have you not told him yet? That’s okay, I know he will understand. He’s got to. It’s your family, right?”

  “Right. Thanks, Mari.”

  “Any time, babe. Love you.”

  She sighed. Now it was time to tell Drew. She scrolled through her phone to her favorites, clicking on his name. She had saved a heart emoji next to it years ago, and had never taken it down.

  “I don’t. . . I don’t understand. You’re moving out?” he asked.

  “No, I’m not moving out. I’m just moving in with them for a few months. Until she’s healthy again.” There was silence for a moment.

  “I’m coming up there.”

  Click. She waited on the front porch for forty-five minutes until he arrived, just breathing in the Dalesville air. Certain times of the month, it reeked of manure, but luckily, the air was fresh tonight.

  Finally, lights in the driveway. She got in, and they drove four minutes to Andy’s, one of the only places in town that served alcohol.

  Drew didn’t seem angry; he just seemed overwhelmed, confused. He barely spoke to her until they got to their table.

  “So, explain this to me again,” he said, putting the two beers he had ordered from the bar down on the table.

  “Katie is sick. Again. My parents can’t afford her treatment. So I’m moving back in with them to help out and pay some of the bills until she’s healthy.”

  “Mhmm,” he said. Bria knew Drew didn’t fully understand Katie’s situation. His medical education never taught him about the long-term effects of Lyme, and she always sort of felt like he doubted Katie’s symptoms.

  “I mean, I get it, but, uh, what about us?” he asked. “What about our wedding?”

  “Things will be fine in plenty of time before the wedding,” Bria said, over-confidently. The truth was, she had no clue how long Katie’s treatment would take. But she had no other option. She wouldn’t leave them to struggle on their own.

  “I get that your sister’s sick, but this is kind of unfair, Bria. I mean, what are we supposed to tell people?” he asked, a little more upset now. His tones were hushed, but his anger and irritation still resonated just fine. But Bria didn’t have a pissed-off-in-public voice. That was the problem. She had a one-size-fits all, be-careful-what-you-wish-for voice. Whether they were in the privacy of their bedroom or in the middle of a busy restaurant, like they were right now, provoking Bria had the same consequence.

  Luckily for Drew, though, she wasn’t angry yet. Mostly, she was preoccupied. She just stared down at her hand, twirling the two-karat teardrop diamond that sat on her left ring finger. Around, and around, and around.

  “Are you even listening?” he asked. She sighed and returned the diamond to its rightful position.

  “Yes, Drew, I’m listening. But I don’t know what you want me to say. They are my family, and I won’t just leave them hanging. Unless you’d like the four of them to move into our one-bedroom apartment?” she said, taking a sip of her beer. His eyes widened slightly, the terrifying vision of an apartment full of Kreeries probably forming in his head.

  “Does it even bother you that we won’t see each other, but two days a week? I mean, Jesus, we’re engaged.”

  “Of course it bothers me. Are you kidding? I spent my whole life trying to figure out how to get out of Dalesville for this exact reason, only to end up right back up here the day I happened to get the biggest promotion of my professional career.” He looked at her, puzzled. “Oh, yeah, I got the promotion.”

  “Oh, well, congratulations,” he said. Yeah, that sounded super genuine.

  When she met Drew in undergrad, she fell hard and extremely fast. They were staying together every night by her senior year, and when she graduated, she moved into his D.C. apartment. One night, after he finished medical school and started his residency, he took her to a fancy restaurant in the city, where he proposed in front their parents. It would be a longer engagement, over two years by the time Drew finished his residency and they had the wedding, but she couldn’t wait. It was absolutely beautiful, and Bria thought she’d never love someone the way she loved Drew. But right now, she kind of wanted to punch him in the face.

  Just as she was getting ready to put up her metaphorical dukes and lecture Drew on the importance of family, the restaurant door opened, and what felt like the whole place rang out into a cheer.

  “Knox is in the house!” she heard someone holler. She could have sworn her heart stopped beating. As the crowd parted, she laid her eyes on him for the first time in about five years. God, he looked older.

  He took off his black knit beanie, the same one he had had since they were in high school, and shook out his hair, still as thick and dark as ever, framing his glowing, Kelly-green eyes. She knew he did absolutely nothing to style it, but it seemed to lie perfectly every day. He was lucky like that. He was only about six-feet tall, but she noticed now that his shoulders were much more broad than they had been all those years ago.

  Bria tried to look casual so that Drew wouldn’t notice, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of Knox. As he scanned the crowd and gave hugs to a few more people, his eyes finally landed on hers. He stopped in his tracks. For a second, the room was deafeningly quiet.

  It was normal for Bria to run into people she knew whenever she was in Dalesville. After all, it was a town of only a few thousand, and most people seemed to migrate back after their time away. But not once had she run into Knox.

  Ben Knoxville, known as “Knox” by anyone who knew him from his freshman year of high school on, was her absolute best friend in the world. Or, at least, he used to be. Whenever she was back in town, she found herself subconsciously going the long way to her parents, or to the store, passing by the townhouse development where she had heard he lived. She’d drive past Andy’s at night, where she knew his friends used to get drinks after work. But not once had she seen him since her sophomore year of college. Until tonight.

  Finally, when the moment of shock passed, Bria realized Knox was walking directly toward her. She played it off like she hadn’t been eyeing him down since the second she heard his name, looking down, then up, with raised eyebrows. She practically jumped out of her booth as he reached her, but she was careful not to look as excited as she actually was.

  “Hey, you,” he said.

  TWO

  Then, Freshman Year

  When she first saw him, she was flat on her back. She was so hot and sweaty, she almost forgot how nervous she was.

  Bria had just run her fastest mile ever, trying to score a spot on the varsity cross country team on her third day of practice. In just a few weeks, she’d be starting high school. She was tiny. Skin-and-bones, flat-chested, the epitome of an awkward teenager. Her chestnut brown hair lay in a loose ponytail off of her shoulder as she leaned down toward one leg to stretch.

  “Okay, everyone,” Coach Boone said, scanning over the clipboard in his hands, “nice work today. Let’s go for a cool down, and you’re done for the day.”

  As the seniors jogged to the front of the pack, she made her move up there with them. She definitely didn’t want to overstep her boundaries, but she wanted them to know she was serious about the sport. She wanted them to know how badly she wanted to be on that varsity squad with them.

  “You’re doing pretty well, girl,” Marisol, the captain of the team, told her. “We’ve all been talking about it.”

  “Oh, really? Thanks!” Bria said. As they jogged around the fields behind the school, Bria noticed they were headed down toward the football practice fields.

  “Stay to the right, ladies. Don’t want to get in their way,” Marisol called back to the group. Bria tried to be a part of their conversation, laughing and joking, without seeming like she was trying too hard.

  “Let’s go, ladies, keep up!” Christa called. She and Marisol had been on the team a
ll four years, and it was clear to Bria that they took it very seriously. As the other freshmen giggled at the back of the group, she was determined to stay separate from them.

  “So, how long have you been running, Bria?” Christa asked, as they rounded the end zone. Just then, she heard a bunch of voices.

  “Look out!”

  “Duck!”

  BAM.

  When she came to, Marisol was fanning her while Christa was holding people back. The school trainer was running across the field toward her.

  “You okay, kid? Sorry about that!”

  Bria didn’t recognize the voice. As she rubbed her head, her vision became clearer. A football player was standing over her. He reached up and took off his helmet. When he shook out his shaggy mane, as dark as black coffee, she recognized him immediately. Ben Knoxville, the junior running back. His name wasn’t known all across town like some of the other guys, but the announcers did call him out over the loudspeaker now and then for a good play. Even dripping in sweat, with his wild hair sticking to his face, he was pretty beautiful. He was sweaty, but not the kind of sweaty that smelled of souring food. He was the other kind of sweaty―the intoxicating, slow-motion, Baywatch kind of sweaty. It was in that moment that Bria realized she was still flat on her back with a knot the size of a golf ball growing out of her forehead, in the middle of the high school football practice.

  “Oh, no, my bad, I’m sorry,” she said, hopping to her feet without allowing anyone else to help her up. “I’m good, really. Let’s finish that cool down!” she said. Marisol took the cue and regrouped the pack.

  “Do you want some ice?” the trainer asked.

  “No, thanks,” Bria said, desperately trying to get a move on.

  “Sorry, again,” Knox said. “Hey Mari,” he waved to her in a sing-song voice. Marisol laughed.

  “Hey, Knox,” she said. “Long time no see.”

  “Yes it has been. Let’s not make it so long next time, my love,” he said. Marisol rolled her eyes playfully. “You too, Christa. I miss my running ladies. We need some cuddle time, soon.”

  Christa giggled like a schoolgirl, blowing him a kiss as they ran by.

  “Okay girls, let’s finish up!” Mari called. Bria could feel her heart racing. She couldn’t imagine him saying something like that to her, but Marisol and Christa seemed to just let it roll right off.

  “Oh my gosh, hon, I’m so sorry that just happened!” Marisol said to her, once they were back on the track.

  “Yeah! Are you sure you’re okay?” Christa asked. Physically, she really did feel okay. The bump would go down soon. But her ego was bruised, and at the same time, her curiosity was piqued.

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m good. So, are you two. . .?” she started to ask, eyeing the football field. Marisol and Christa both looked at her quizzically, then followed her gaze to the large mass of boys running each other into the ground. Bria wasn’t surprised at Knox’s interest in Mari; she was tall and slim with long, mocha-colored legs, and wavy chocolate-colored hair that touched the middle of her back. She could definitely be on the cover of some magazine, one of those ones where the girl is bikini-clad, kneeling in the sand, her eyes squinty, probably biting her lip as she gives the camera “the look.” But then, Knox had moved on, waving his fingers in Christa’s direction.

  “Wait, are you asking if me and Knox. . .? No!” Mari said, breaking out into a fit of laughter. Christa joined her. “No, no. Rule number one of Dalesville High: if you are female, Ben Knoxville will find you. And he will flirt with you.”

  “Well, with some girls he does a lot more than flirt,” Christa said, eyeing the cheerleaders across the field.

  “True,” Marisol nodded. “But physical intentions or not, that’s just how Knox is. He’s a mess. He’s never had a girlfriend, but he’s had plenty of girls. But, he’s a sweetheart, honestly.”

  “Yeah, he really is. He’s just a goof,” Christa agreed.

  “Got it,” Bria said, pulling her arm behind her back into a stretch. She pretended to focus on wherever their conversation was going next, but her head was still on the field, golf ball knot and all.

  As the first few weeks of practice passed, Bria quickly became not only a varsity runner, but the fastest runner on the team. She was placing in the top ten in every race, and she was surprised to find that the other girls on the team were nothing but ecstatic for her. Marisol had totally taken Bria her under her wing, and Bria was surprised at how quickly they had become close friends. She truly felt she could confide in Marisol about anything, and she knew any advice Marisol gave was worth following. Having always served the role of older sister, Bria enjoyed having someone she could look up to and goof around with.

  By November, when the state meet rolled around, Bria was expected to finish in the top five, based on her record-smashing season. She couldn’t focus all week long. She sat in her classes, staring out the window, picturing the last four hundred meters of the state course. When the final bell rang Friday, she walked like a zombie to her locker. Her nerves were kicking into high gear, and they weren’t going away. As she stood on her tip-toes to reach her science book on the top shelf, she clumsily knocked it further back in, and just out of her reach. Great. She climbed into the locker, stretching as far as her limbs could go, but it was no use.

  “Let me get that for ya, darlin,’” she heard a male voice say. She froze. It was Knox.

  “Oh, thank you,” she said with a nervous giggle.

  “Hey, you’re the kid who took the ball to the head a few weeks back, right?” he asked. She was slightly irritated by his use of the term “kid,” but she couldn’t help but be excited they were conversing at all.

  “Yep, that was me,” she said. “That’s why I stick to sports that don’t require much hand-eye coordination.”

  He laughed, and she felt herself shamelessly glowing with pride.

  “You’re running in the state meet tomorrow, right?” he asked. “I heard you were pretty fast.”

  She blushed. “Uh, yeah, I guess so. We’ll see how it goes!”

  “Well, I think a bunch of us are coming out to watch. I’ll be there cheering you on.”

  “Oh, cool!” she said, trying not to sound too excited, then realizing suddenly that her bus would be leaving soon. She shut the locker door, flashed a quick, nervous smile at Knox and threw her backpack on. “See you there!”

  By the next morning, Bria had forgotten about anything that wasn’t the state meet. She barely spoke to anyone. She just glanced around the course, taking in all the inclines, all the turns, all the spots where she might be able to gain some position. Before she knew it, it was time to get to the starting line. She eased the tip of her toe up to the line, bending her knees slightly. Her heart was beating so hard, she could actually hear it. Three, two, one. Bang.

  The course was deadly. Some of the biggest hills she had ever seen seemed to pop out of nowhere, and just when she had finished climbing one and caught her breath, another appeared. But she periodically counted the girls in front of her—always fewer than 10. She could see the finish line, now, about four hundred meters away. All that was standing between her and it was one more monstrous hill. As she approached it, she felt every ache and pain that she had been fighting through the entire race. She felt the lactic acid weighing down her legs like they were a thousand pounds each. She felt the breath escaping her lungs, and she felt herself unable to take in more air. That’s when she heard him.

  “You got it, kid! Push yourself! You’re so close to the finish!”

  Bria looked up. Knox was on the side of the hill, surrounded by more of the football players and other kids from their school. He had a bandana tied around his head, and his shirt was off. He and some of his teammates had painted their bodies in Dalesville green. But she didn’t notice any of that. All she knew was that he was there, cheering for her. That’s when it kicked in. She felt an uncontrollable urge to lift her legs higher. She almost didn’t notice how badly they were
burning. She got to the top of the hill, and passed one girl. Eighth place. But all she saw was the back of the next girl. Seventh place. Sixth, fifth, fourth. Third was a few yards ahead, but she didn’t have the kick that Bria did. Boom. Second place. As she zeroed in on the finish line, she saw the girl in first place a few more yards ahead. She kicked it in hard, but it was no use. The girl had been first place all along, and she wasn’t about to lose in the last twenty meters. Second place finish. Not bad, but she was so close to first that she could taste it.

  Despite Bria’s slight disappointment, her family, and what looked like half the school, could not have been more excited. They came around the side, screaming and hollering, chanting her name, waiting for her to come under the other side of the orange tape that separated the spectators from the runners.

  “You did it, girl!” Marisol called to her a minute or two later, when she finished. “I am so proud of you!”

  “Yes!” Christa called, running toward her with open arms. As the rest of the girls surrounded her, the crowd parted again as the football players made their way toward her.

  “Not bad, kid!” she heard Knox call to her. He, too, walked toward her with open arms, and she almost didn’t know what to do. He picked her up and swung her around, but instead of putting her down, he popped her up onto one of his shoulders with absolutely no effort at all. The rest of the group surrounded them, chanting her name and congratulating her. She couldn’t remember a time when she had felt so good. Not just because of her doting crowd of fans, but because he was the one holding her up.

  As the meet drew to a close, Bria was packing her track bag when she felt an arm around her shoulder.

  “Hey, freshie, some of the kids are celebrating at my house tonight,” Knox said. “Come on by.”

  Bria looked up at Marisol.

  “Christa and I are going,” she said, “if you want a ride.”

  Bria nodded with a nervous smile.

  “Sure, yeah,” she said.