It Goes Without Saying Read online

  IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING

  A Novel

  Taylor Danae Colbert

  IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING

  Copyright © 2018 Taylor Danae Colbert

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations in reviews. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, numerous places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously. This book may not be resold or given away in any manner.

  Published: Taylor Danae Colbert 2018

  www.taylordanaecolbert.com

  Editing: Lizzy McLellan Ravitch

  Cover Design: Taylor Danae Colbert

  ISBN-13:978-1723105289

  ISBN-10:1723105287

  Table of Contents

  ONE Now

  TWO Then, Freshman Year

  THREE Now

  FOUR Then, Summer Before Sophomore Year

  FIVE Now

  SIX Then, Sophomore Year

  SEVEN Now

  EIGHT Then, In the Hospital

  NINE Now

  TEN Then, Knox’s Graduation

  ELEVEN Now

  TWELVE Then, Junior Year

  THIRTEEN Now

  FOURTEEN Then, Bria’s Senior Prom

  FIFTEEN Now

  SIXTEEN Then, Bria’s Graduation

  SEVENTEEN Now

  EIGHTEEN Then, Summer Before College

  NINETEEN Now

  TWENTY Then, Freshman Year of College

  TWENTY-ONE Now

  TWENTY-TWO Now

  TWENTY-THREE Now

  TWENTY-FOUR

  TWENTY-FIVE

  TWENTY-SIX

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  TWENTY-NINE

  THIRTY

  THIRTY-ONE

  THIRTY-TWO

  THIRTY-THREE

  THIRTY-FOUR

  For you, Little. Thanks for believing in me always, and for pushing me to be fearless.

  ONE

  Now

  Damn, it was a good day. It was like, walk-out-of-the-office-smiling-at-strangers good. First of all, it was Friday. Knowing that within the hour, she could be lounging on the couch with no bra and an open jar of Nutella in her lap was glorious in and of itself. On top of that, Bria just got the promotion she’d been waiting for since she graduated from college. She was finally promoted to junior sales manager, and was going to get some of her own accounts. No more assistant duties. No more getting Benji coffee. Ugh. She hated getting Benji coffee. Every latte she placed on his desk felt like another boost to the patriarchy.

  And as if the hefty pay raise and the new office weren’t enough, Benji had given her a week off before starting her new position. So she walked with a bounce in her step down the Bethesda streets to the garage where she parked her car every day. She couldn’t wait to tell Drew, but he’d be with patients for another hour, at least. Bria had to admit, she was pretty damn excited that she’d be contributing more to their income. Drew might be on his way to being a doctor, but damn if she wasn’t working her ass off, too. She scrolled to her favorites in her contacts and dialed her mom.

  “Hello?” Louise answered.

  “Hey, mom! You’re never gonna guess what happened to me today.”

  “Oh, um—”

  “I got the promotion! I’m junior sales manager now!”

  “Oh, sweetie, that’s. . .that’s wonderful.” Her mom sounded tired. And unfocused. This wasn’t the overly enthusiastic, my-kid-shits-rainbows response that she was expecting.

  “Mom?” She heard a sniffle on the other end. “Mom, what’s going on? What happened?” There was a long pause, and she knew her mother was gathering herself.

  “It’s your sister.”

  “Katie? What about her?” she asked, pausing outside of the parking garage so she wouldn’t lose service.

  “The Lyme is back. And it’s worse this time.”

  Bria couldn’t say anything. She didn’t want to. She just leaned back against the brick wall, steadying herself. She watched the other commuters who were still enjoying the day. The dark cloud of the Kreery family wasn’t hanging over their heads. They got to have their Friday. They got to take off their bras now. Stupid, happy, braless people.

  “B?” her mom asked, after a few moments of silence.

  “Yeah, sorry. I’m here. I’m coming home.” She dug her keys out of her purse and walked into the garage. She had been so excited when she landed a job in Bethesda, because it was the perfect half-way point between her new life in D.C., and her hometown. Dalesville, Maryland was about twenty miles away from Bethesda—close enough that Bria could see her family a few times a month, but far enough away that she felt like she could breathe, make her own life. But on nights like this, when her family needed her, she was close enough to make it home in less than an hour.

  As Bria sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the beltway, she wasn’t screaming at the people that cut her off, or banging her hands against the steering wheel, desperate for the cars to clear. Instead, she was actually relieved to be sitting, and to have a few moments to herself before the Kreery madness descended upon her. She wondered how bad it would be this time.

  They first noticed Katie’s symptoms when she was in middle school. She had debilitating headaches, her joints swelled, and she had random bouts of temporary paralysis. And so, the endless search for answers began. She was misdiagnosed three times before a specialist finally determined that she had Lyme disease.

  “Unfortunately, we don’t know a lot about Lyme, yet. But there are a few things we can try.”

  This was the standard response from the six Lyme specialists Katie saw throughout the course of her teenage years. Apparently, Katie had been bit by a tick years before, but they never spotted it. If she’d seen it, and had gotten on antibiotics quick enough, she might have recovered after just a few weeks. But they never saw the tick, never saw a rash. Nothing. Poor Katie. She was forced to quit sports, occasionally needed a walker when her knees would swell, and had to take an abbreviated schedule at school so she could go to the doctors regularly. The first time, she had symptoms for three years straight, no relief in sight. And the bills kept coming. Her mother had gone back to work to chip away at some of the medical costs, while Bria and her other sister, Sam, eventually had to take out loans to pay for the remainder of their college tuition.

  But finally, midway through her sophomore year of high school, Katie saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Her symptoms seemed to be managed, and the doctors she saw seemed to be keeping her pain-free. She finished high school on the honor roll, got into the University of Maryland, and was finally hanging out with people other than their mother and father.

  Bria had just FaceTimed her two nights ago. She was going to the doctor that week for a check-up. She never mentioned that she was feeling bad, but now it was clear that Katie just didn’t want Bria to worry.

  Finally, Bria got off at her exit, and drove the last seven miles into the quiet streets of Dalesville. She swore it was like crossing into another dimension, the second she passed the faded green “Welcome to Dalesville” sign on her right, going back in time forty or fifty years.

  Everything was just a little bit slower. She had to admit, though, the sprawling farmland was pretty this time of night, with the pink and orange sky rolling off of it and into the distant mountains.

  She pulled onto Main Street, and she felt a familiar calm washing over her. Despite the situation she was headed toward, it was good to be home. She passed the grocery store, where her dad had taught her to drive in the parking lot. She smi
led as she passed her high school. Her heart fluttered a bit when she passed the Jimmie Cone sign on her left. She hadn’t been there since. . . well, the last time she was with him. That felt like a lifetime ago. She sighed, shaking her head, focusing on the situation at hand.

  After sitting through the stop-and-go of the three traffic lights on Route 108, she finally turned onto Connell Street, where her family’s house sat at the end of a perfect little cul-de-sac. The houses in her parents’ neighborhood were modest, but theirs had been plenty big enough for their family of five. It was a cute little split-level with a front porch and green shutters. Her parents had bought the house shortly before they became pregnant with her. They had a small backyard, but it was fenced in with plenty of room for three little girls to play. As they got older, their dad had built a big patio out back, where she and her friends would sit for hours. She turned off the engine and took a breath. Let the madness begin.

  She popped her shoes off in the garage before going in. For a moment, the house was too quiet. Then she was bum rushed by Buster, wagging his tail, barking, and licking her to no end.

  “Okay, okay, hi, yes, I see you,” she said, patting his head. “Hello?”

  “Hi, B,” her dad called from the living room. “We’re in here.”

  Bria dropped her keys on the kitchen island, and left her coat on one of the chairs. Her mother sat on the couch, Katie’s head in her lap. Her dad sat in his recliner, staring up at the television, peering over the rims of his glasses. Bria was surprised to see Sam home; she had graduated from Salisbury University a few months before, but Bria still wasn’t used to her being around. While Sam was in college, she definitely enjoyed her time away. Probably because she didn’t have to deal with things like this. But, she was here, sitting on the couch. That’s how Bria knew this was serious.

  “Hi, sweetie,” her mom said, her tone still defeated, but genuinely happy to see her. “Where’s Drew?”

  Shit. Drew. She had totally forgotten to tell him she would be late tonight.

  “Crap!” she said, running back into the kitchen and snatching her phone up before she even kissed them hello. She tapped her foot anxiously, waiting for him to pick up.

  “Hey, where are you?” he answered.

  “Hey, babe,” she said. “Listen, I talked to my mom right after work today, and it turns out that my sister isn’t doing so well.”

  “Sam?” he asked.

  “No, Katie. Remember how she was sick a few years back?”

  “Oh, yeah,” he said.

  “Yeah, well it’s back. I had to come home for a bit. I’m sorry, but I won’t make it to dinner. Tell everyone I said hello. I’ll see you tonight.”

  “Okay,” he said, “so I guess we’re not going wedding cake tasting this evening, either?”

  Shit. She had forgotten about that, too.

  “Shit, I’m sorry, hon. I’ll call and reschedule for this weekend.”

  “Sounds good, see ya later,” he said, with a click.

  He didn’t have to say it; after five-and-a-half years with him, she knew when he was ticked off. But most of the time, she didn’t really care.

  “Okay, so what’s going on?” she asked as she walked back into the living room, lifting Katie’s legs up and plopping down on the couch.

  “Well, she’s been having issues with the paralysis again,” Louise said, still stroking Katie’s hair. Buster had jumped up on the couch, sprawling out over top of Katie. “Her joints are swelling, her headaches are back.”

  “Basically everything,” Katie said, emotionless, staring at the television. The poor kid. She’d dealt with so much in her short life. Every time she went through this, Bria’s heart broke for her. There was nothing she, or anyone else for that matter, could do. They just had to watch her in pain, watch her as her own life passed her by.

  “Damn it, Tommy,” Bria said, smiling at Katie. Tommy was the name they had given the tick that bit Katie all those years ago. It made it easier to place the blame on someone, or something, when it had a name. Katie smiled faintly.

  “I’m tired,” she finally said, scooting off the couch, wincing as she bent her stiff knees. “But I need to wash my hair.”

  Bria looked up at Sam. That was their cue. They’d been through this plenty of times. Sometimes, Katie would get bouts of paralysis from the Lyme so bad, that she could barely move, let alone bathe or dress herself.

  They each held out a hand to Katie, helping her up and walking with her up the steps to their bathroom.

  “I think I can do it myself tonight, just might need some help after,” Katie said, her tired eyes blinking slowly. Sam and Bria nodded, stepping out of the bathroom so that Katie could shower. Some nights, she’d been in such pain, so swollen, so stiff, that her sisters and her mother had actually helped her shower, or wash her hair. A few minutes later, Katie trudged out of the bathroom. Sam combed through her wet strands, and Bria folded them into neat braids. They helped dress her for bed as if she was a child. Bria supposed Katie would be embarrassed by all the help if she weren’t so exhausted.

  When Bria and Sam made their way back out to the kitchen, Louise and Joe were sitting at the table, Louise with her head in her hands, and Joe rubbing her back. Bria wondered what it felt like, having a child that was perpetually in pain, always living a sub-par life, and be unable to do anything about it. Probably pretty helpless. She put her hand on her mother’s as she and Sam sat down with them.

  “Well, I think that’s what we’re going to have to do,” her father said, leaning back in his chair.

  “What is?” Bria asked.

  “I think I’m going to need to look for another part-time job, and your mother is going to have to find something full-time.”

  Bria and Sam looked from their father to their mother.

  “Why?” Sam asked.

  “Katie’s treatment. Her doctor wants to give her medications through an IV, so she’ll need to get a port. It’s not covered by insurance. It could cost us anywhere from forty to sixty thousand dollars,” Joe said.

  Bria said nothing, just stared down at her hands. She always knew this day could come again, but ever since Katie had reached remission, Bria had blocked the entire illness out of her mind. Bria had told herself that once Katie was feeling better, she’d be fine forever.

  Nope. Tommy had other plans.

  She hated to see her parents dealing with the same dilemmas they had faced just a few years earlier. They were like hamsters on a wheel, just trying to stay ahead. They were in their fifties now, and it broke her heart that they would be dusting off their resumes to look for more income as if they were new college graduates just starting their lives. They should be reducing stress in their lives, saving for retirement. This, right here, was one of the reasons Bria wanted to get out, stay away, avoid the problem. She never wanted this for herself, or her future kids. No struggling. At least not in this same way. She absolutely adored her family. She was as close with her sisters as sisters could be, and she had a great relationship with both of her parents. But she told herself that putting a little distance between them would make her immune to their same fate.

  “I don’t mean to scare you girls, but I’m not even sure how we’re going to pay the mortgage next month, at this rate,” Louise finally said, wiping her nose with a tissue.

  Bria felt the lump in her throat rising. The first time she had overheard her parents talking about losing their house, she was about to graduate high school. She had felt useless. She had three-hundred dollars to her name at that point, and knew she couldn’t do a damn thing to help. Through a stroke of well-timed luck, her parents had come into some money at the last minute. Bria never asked where the money came from, because honestly, she didn’t want to know. She couldn’t imagine them doing anything illegal, but in a desperate moment, she knew it was a possibility. Then, Katie had made a turn for the better, and her treatment stopped shortly after. Her parents were able to get back on top of their bills, and all wa
s well. This time was different. Bria doubted money would fall from the sky like it did the last time. But, this time, Bria wasn’t useless.

  “I’ll move back in,” she said, squeezing her mother’s hand.

  “What? No,” Louise protested.

  “No, B, we can’t let you do this. This isn’t your responsibility,” Joe said, shaking his head.

  “Yeah, but you didn’t ask for this,” she said. “I just got my promotion. I’ll be making a lot more money. And my school loans are almost totally paid off. I can help out with the bills around here and help get her to her appointments until her treatment is over.”

  “Don’t be silly,” Louise said, “what about Drew? You can’t just leave him.”

  “I hardly see Drew during the week anyways because of his hours. I’ll go to D.C. on the weekends. We will be fine.”

  “Bria,” Joe started to interject again, but quickly realized he didn’t have another point to make.

  “I can try. . .” Sam started to pipe in.

  “You’ll try nothing,” Bria said, looking at her. “You have a new job to get. We will be fine.”

  Sam nodded. Bria could physically see the weight lift off of her parents’ and Sam’s shoulders. Joe and Louise hugged and kissed her, over and over, thanking her and telling her how lucky they were to be her parents.

  “Stop, guys,” she said. “You’re my family. It’s our job to take care of each other.”

  They nodded, kissed her and Sam once more and said goodnight. She sighed. Right back to Dalesville. She picked up her phone and went out on the front porch.

  “Hello lover,” Mari answered on the other line. After all these years, it was still a relief to hear her voice.

  “Hi,” Bria answered. Even with just that one word, Mari knew something was up.

  “What’s going on? Spill.”

  So, Bria took a breath and told her the whole story.

  “Wow. I’m so sorry this is happening to your family again, B. And that poor kid. She’s had it rough. But I know she will get through it just like she did before.”

  Bria nodded to herself, her friend’s simple, but reassuring words calming her.