A Year to Clear Read online

  I didn't want to hear that voice, of course, and I pushed it away. I didn't even tell my husband about this “crazy thinking.” We loved the house and were giddy to buy after waiting so long to find it.

  Then, lo and behold, the seller bailed on us. We watched in disbelief as she held the document in her hands with a pen pointed at the signature line. She couldn't do it. We were devastated.

  Fast-forward six weeks. We found another house—an even better one than the first! There, in the front room, were the four windows I had seen in my head.

  As I like to say, it pays to follow your “knows.” There is a lot less suffering.

  Explore

  The last time I remember having an intuitive insight was . . .

  When I know something for sure, I feel . . .

  DAY 42

  CHECK IN—TUNING UP THE SENSES

  The focus this week was on refining and deepening our senses—smell, taste, touch, hearing, seeing, and inner knowing. As human “doers” living mostly on autopilot, we neglect to tap the intelligence that comes through the body. Together, the six senses are the processing center of clearing. Without conscious sensing, there is no clearing. Period.

  Have you been able to identify which of your sense(s) you tend to use the most when relating to things, people, or spaces? Do you notice that some people and spaces feel differently than others? Do you notice yourself being drawn to certain sights and sounds and recoiling from others?

  Explore

  The sense(s) I tend to use most that I now recognize as a gift are . . .

  Something new I learned about myself after a week of conscious sensing is . . .

  WEEK 7

  EMBRACING EMOTIONAL WEATHER

  You are the sky. Everything else—it's just the weather.

  —Pema Chödrön

  DAY 43

  SPRING YEAR-ROUND CLEARING

  Why is it that every spring when we crawl out of our winter caves, we go into a wild frenzy of clearing the chaos that has snuck its way back into our homes and lives? It's like somewhere around mid-fall we lost our way, forgot all our good intentions from the previous spring, and find ourselves scrambling again at square one.

  As I see it, spring clearing has nothing to do with spring or cleaning.

  Clearing our spaces is a journey that starts right where we are. It makes no difference if the spaces are the external ones in which we live and work, or the internal ones that we fill up with a chattering, worrying mind.

  All you need to get the energy moving in your home and life is to clear something. A toothpick, a paper clip, a measly crumb. Anything will do so long as you clear it with compassionate awareness—every day.

  Just as a butterfly's wings in one part of the world can create massive weather changes in another, baby steps can lead to a sea change in your life—a clearing movement of global proportions.

  Explore

  Three things that move me out of stuckness are . . .

  One small thing I can do today to start my clearing movement is . . .

  DAY 44

  IT'S ONLY WEATHER

  Weather is a perfect metaphor to describe everything that we are not. It is also a terrific tool to help us cultivate detachment.

  In a way, our emotions are no different than the weather: We can be flattened by an emotional squall, feel lost under a blanket of fog, throw a tantrum with lightning ferocity. No matter what our low pressure system looks like, it is a state of being that is guaranteed to shift (and lift) when we don't make it ours.

  Today, when you feel a twinge of worry, fear, sadness, attachment, or any sensation that points to a resisting weather pattern, take a deep breath and repeat this mantra out loud to yourself: It's only weather.

  And watch what happens.

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  When I reframe my state of being with “It's only weather,” this is what happens . . .

  I know that “weather” of any kind is not mine because . . .

  DAY 45

  WEATHER WATCH

  Maria Montessori has a wonderful saying that sums up her approach to education perfectly: “We cannot create observers by saying ‘observe’ . . . these means are procured through education of the senses.” In that spirit, I'd like to invite you to use today to witness the weather patterns in your life—both the low pressure systems and the high pressure ones—using your six senses. Notice a lingering sadness, an impatient outburst, a wave of shame, a foggy mind. Notice if there are certain times of day when you are more likely to feel “under the weather.”

  Carry this practice into the rest of your day: Watch your internal weather system moving in and out, in and out, like breathing.

  Explore

  I'm learning these things about the weather patterns in my life . . .

  When I simply observe, I notice these changes in myself . . .

  DAY 46

  UNDER THE WEATHER

  It took me years to learn why I felt so yucky every time I cleared a drawer or a closet.

  Sorting through a pile of books, for example, always made me feel congested, gummy, and thirsty. My head would feel cobwebby (just like the books), and my feet would always ache after an hour of moving things around. And the less certain I was about letting something go, the more foggy-headed I felt.

  It wasn't until I was studying space clearing that I learned why. It's because clutter is a sticky, dense energy. The longer we have it, the denser and stickier it gets.

  As you begin to consciously clear the stress and the stuff you've been holding on to, the body responds and processes the changes—not unlike the stormy weather that gets stirred when a high pressure system collides with a low pressure one. It's like you're detoxifying your home (and yourself), which doesn't always feel very good.

  Is just reading these words enough to elicit a bodily response? If you're noticing a drag on your energy level, or unexplainable yuckiness that wasn't there before, that is because ideas—as energy—can affect us just like anything else.

  Name and feel the sensations (which are not yours, remember?) and let them go. Then follow up by doing something that feels really good to shift the energy.

  Explore

  Reading this lesson makes me feel . . .

  One thing I can do to shift my energy is . . .

  DAY 47

  NAME AND FEEL

  In yesterday's lesson, we explored how unconscious discomfort can be a sign of stuck energy. When we bring awareness to the discomfort, we reverse the process and release the stuckness. We may not feel very good right away, but naming and feeling the disturbing effects changes the dynamic completely.

  Name and feel the overwhelm. Name and feel the frustration. Name and feel the blame and shame. That is the work.

  Even if you have no words to name something, you can feel it by bringing all six of your senses to bear—with awareness.

  What can you name and feel right now? Can you name and feel your emotional weather without judging the experience, or yourself? (If you could use a little refresher on how to do this, I invite you to revisit the Feeling Check process from Day 20.)

  Explore

  One thing that is bothering me today is . . .

  This thing makes me feel . . . (Notice any judgments creeping up.)

  DAY 48

  TREAT YOURSELF

  It may not look like much on paper, but naming and feeling weather patterns is big bioenergetic work. Releasing a lifetime of stuck patterns is the best, and sometimes the hardest, work you'll ever do. And if your journey takes you through some thick, foggy patches to process old stuff—as it has for me so many times—you may not realize how wiped out you are.

  It's for this reason that I invite you to take some time today to rest. Treat yourself to some nourishing self-care—a walk, a cup of tea, a hot bath—anything that moves you to feel good, held, comforted.

  Yes, you always have permission to rest.

  Explore

  One thing I can do today to nourish mysel
f and rest is . . . (Notice the impulse to press on; name and feel the resistance to taking time for yourself.)

  I must take time to integrate big changes because . . .

  DAY 49

  CHECK IN—EMBRACING EMOTIONAL WEATHER

  This week we played with the concept of weather to describe any symptom of imbalance that clouds who we are. We lift and release weather patterns by naming and feeling our discomfort. This includes taking time to integrate and rest afterward.

  What have you observed about your unique weather system? What has helped to soften and clear it? Did you notice any shifting and lifting of sensations? For example, perhaps you noticed that a throbbing headache dissolved simply because you watched it with curious or spacious detachment.

  Explore

  Weather shows up in my life in these ways . . .

  I know that I'm releasing weather when . . .

  When I clear without judging myself, I notice . . .

  WEEK 8

  SLOWING DOWN

  For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.

  —Lily Tomlin

  DAY 50

  LIFE IN THE SLOW LANE

  Last year, my husband and I left our home in Massachusetts to spend six months in Mexico. We rented out our home, uploaded books on tape, got in the car, and drove 3,000 miles to our home south of the border—a place where we could unplug from life as usual.

  And what a big reveal it was! From boot camp opportunities in letting go to mind-bending encounters with nature, beauty, and art, the days were as diverse and varied as the cloud formations at sunset.

  Some days, we didn't have Internet or electricity, and those alternatively seemed to go on forever while others passed in the blink of an eye. Such is life in the slow lane.

  If you think you have to move away or have your mind bent in a million different ways to dial it down, think again. If you can find a way to slow down just a little, to simplify your life and allow the queasy discomfort of not knowing what's going to happen next, I would wager that you too would have some pretty jaw-dropping experiences of your own.

  What would it mean to you if your life slowed down? Notice the fears or the flutters of excitement as you consider the prospect of dialing down your life.

  Explore

  If I dialed down my life a notch or two, it would mean . . .

  This is how things would change for me . . .

  DAY 51

  FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT

  If I've learned anything over the years of clearing, it would be this: Small efforts applied consistently over time are the real game changer.

  Slowing down isn't just a good idea that I adopted from years of personal experience. There is plenty of science to back me up. One of the key players in this clearing business is an ancient almond-shape region in the brain called the amygdala. It is our built-in secret service agent, if you will, designed to spring into action the moment it senses danger. (Read: A lion is charging you, or your toddler is reaching for the kitchen knife.) Once the alarm has been triggered, the amygdala shuts down all nonessential functions and sends a cascade of stress hormones throughout the body to heighten and manage the emergency. This is your fight-or-flight response.

  The problem with having stress hormones flooding the system is that they won't stop until you stop (the negative self-talk, the worry, the recycling of painful memories, etc.).

  There is no question that having this defense when you're under real attack is super awesome. It's a big liability, however, when you're up to your eyeballs clearing the nightmare of junk in your closet or basement—stuff that can only be addressed effectively when you feel calm. And safe.

  Today, try noticing when your fight-or-flight response kicks in unnecessarily.

  Explore

  I know my stress response has been activated when . . .

  I can remember to dial it back by . . .

  DAY 52

  BABY STEPS

  There is a wonderful book by psychologist Dr. Robert Maurer called One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way. In it, he makes a compelling case for dialing down our efforts:

  Small, easily achievable goals—such as picking up and storing just one paper clip on a chronically messy desk—let you tiptoe right past the amygdala, keeping it asleep and unable to set off alarm bells. As your small steps continue and your cortex starts working, the brain begins to create “software” for your desired change, actually laying down new nerve pathways and building new habits.

  Take a few minutes today to make a list of things or issues that you'd like to release. Choose thoughts, relationships, or situations that elicit a stress response or make you feel uneasy when you think of them. Assign each item a number from 1 to 10, with 1 indicating the least challenging situation and 10 indicating the most challenging.

  Notice the sensations that arise as you review your list without judgment. What is one thing from your list of lower numbers that you can handle and release today? Choose something that will not overwhelm you or trigger alarm bells in the brain.

  Explore

  One item that I can easily address and release today is . . .

  Dialing it back a notch feels . . .

  DAY 53

  YOUR INDICATOR TO DIAL IT DOWN

  Thich Nhat Hanh tells us, “When you feel overwhelmed, you're trying too hard.” How does it feel when you've realized you've taken on more than you can handle? Unleashing a host of stress chemicals is not going to serve you. In fact, it will stop you cold every time.

  Next time you hit the proverbial wall, use it as an opportunity to name and feel the frustration, and dial it down. Adopt a gentler “Reduce and Repeat” (R&R) approach: reduce the task (or time spent) and repeat it until it no longer elicits a stress response.

  Take a little time today to revisit yesterday's issues with a high challenge number. Add to your list any additional items that remain, for now, off limits. If it helps, write these down in red ink.

  Bookmark this page to come back to later in the year and see if the emotional charge around any of these issues has reduced or disappeared altogether. You may just notice that the clearing magically happens all by itself—something you wouldn't even remember if you hadn't written it down (wink).

  Explore

  Issues that scare me that I know I need to address someday in the future are . . .

  I should back away from these issues at this time because . . .

  DAY 54

  THE RULE OF ONE

  A good rule of thumb for clearing anything is the “rule of one.” This helps to calm the mind when you're caught in fight-or-flight.

  Here's how it works: Clear one thing (pile, thought, issue) with awareness for one minute, once a day, for one week. Increase the task or time spent by increments of one as you begin to feel more comfortable and safe.

  Use today to revisit your ongoing list of things and issues you'd like to release in your home and life. Revise the challenge numbers you've assigned to certain tasks and issues if they seem easier or harder to accomplish after reflection.

  Choose one task from your list and see if you can break it down into smaller, more doable tasks, and assign each a challenge number. For example, clearing out the refrigerator, which might have gotten an 8 on your original list, may still give you heart palpitations. If you break down the task into various sub-tasks that would each only elicit a 2 on your challenge meter—like cleaning out one shelf every day, consolidating the condiments, or removing one unidentifiable freezer item—you may find that the refrigerator gets cleared in no time!

  Easy peasy.

  Explore

  One bigger clearing task I can break down into smaller, one minute tasks is . . .

  One easy thing I can clear for one minute a day every day this week is . . .

  DAY 55

  TO DO OR NOT TO DO?

  While most everyone seems to find my baby-step approach to clearing refreshing and energizing, not everyone is sold. Occasionally I'll receive a co
mment from a student who is mystified by my counterintuitive invitations to dial it down. So if you too are feeling like nothing is happening yet, or you're wishing you were getting more concrete tips on clearing your house, it might help to remember that this is not a traditional how-to book. The approach here is more about “how to not do” in order to allow the emotional stuckness and resisting patterns (that are encoded in the clutter) to soften, bubble up, and release.

  For us to break old habits and rewire new ones in ways that are sustainable, we need to practice not engaging the part of the mind that goes into fight-or-flight. Clearing is a daily practice that starts where you are.

  Where do you want to start?

  Explore

  Going slow is frustrating for me because . . .

  The best place for me to start right now is . . .

  DAY 56

  CHECK IN—SLOWING DOWN