A Year to Clear Read online

  Clearing is a journey, not a destination. Even if you don't see the whole picture yet, you have put into motion a powerful new combination of habits that are working, though perhaps quietly behind the scenes.

  Use today to make a list of what is working in your life. Then, choose one thing and focus your attention on it. Allow sensations to arise—including the uncomfortable bits.

  Explore

  What is working in my life . . .

  One thing that is working in my life that I can give more energy to . . .

  DAY 179

  KEEP MOVING

  In June 1956, a young Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King spoke at the 47th Annual NAACP Convention in San Francisco in favor of the Montgomery bus boycott. One of the things he said was, “If you can't fly, run; if you can't run, walk; if you can't walk, crawl—but, by all means, keep moving.”

  Realizing a dream, any dream, can be messy and time-consuming. Whether it is creating good art, clearing out a massively cluttered house, or learning a new skill, the pathway to success can look like a squiggly mess: two steps forward, three back, four sideways, one more forward, and so on.

  In the absence of discernible progress, and a wily monkey mind shouting all the reasons why it will never work, it is easy to lose hope and cave.

  Whatever happens, don't give up. Don't give in to a noisy and attached mind that thinks it knows better (it doesn't). Don't give in to a mind that is regurgitating a tired script of old stories, worries, and memories from the past.

  The truth is, achieving anything that matters takes work. It takes time to release old habits and grow new ones. It takes time to rewire the brain. It takes time to get good at something.

  Never lose hope. There is more going on than meets the eye.

  What will help you keep moving forward today? Do that. Even if it's just for one minute.

  Explore

  One thing that will help me remember not to give up and give in . . .

  What I can do right now to keep moving . . .

  DAY 180

  CLEARING AS A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE

  It's not every day that I see a book or article by someone who makes the same case as I do about clearing as a spiritual practice. So when this piece by Geri Larkin, founder and former head teacher of Still Point Zen Buddhist Temple, came across my desk, I had to share it. Here's an excerpt:

  We have to let go of our stuff.

  But we don't, or at least we don't want to. This is a serious spiritual issue, this clinging. We may be able to give up lovers, Facebook friends . . . even our waistlines, but do not, do not, ask us to give up the three photographs taken of us in 1996 when we looked like Kate Moss on a good day . . .

  Added up, objects become clutter. Clutter becomes noise. And noise—in all of its forms—blocks spiritual growth, starting with an inability to simply feel happy. Happiness needs quiet. If we watch, we'll feel its presence when we are meditating, watching the sun set, or maybe rocking the almost sleeping baby. The more noise, the harder it is for happiness to show her face.

  What are you still clinging to that is making too much noise? What blocks your joy?

  Explore

  I am still clinging on to . . .

  What is blocking my joy . . .

  DAY 181

  TO SHARE OR NOT TO SHARE?

  As we continue on our clearing path, let's take a moment to consider the importance of feeling safe. One of my students recently asked this question, and it resonated with many in our class:

  Once you identify what you are feeling about a certain person, do you tell them?

  The short answer is, not necessarily. Our work on feeling with compassionate awareness is mostly internal. The good news here is that adopting a daily practice of clearing this way increases your chance of healing any relationship (with a person, thing, or issue) without having to say or do anything.

  The only “telling” I recommend is sharing your feelings with someone who can hold a witnessing space for you: someone who is not attached to the issue or the outcome, and can listen without giving advice or fixing.

  If you're feeling like you could use some extra support at this stage in your journey—a container that your feelings can bump up against in a safe way—it's never too late to ask a good friend or two to join you on this ride. Have him or her read the introduction of this book, complete the first three weeks to understand the principles and get the hang of the practices, and join you on the trail at this or any juncture.

  This is a case where more equals more, where joining together and sharing with other big hearts can lighten the load exponentially for everyone!

  Explore

  I feel safe sharing my experiences with . . .

  I don't yet feel safe sharing my experiences with . . .

  DAY 182

  CHECK IN—TAKING TIME TO PAUSE

  The focus this week was to pause, take stock, and remember that clearing is a journey, not a race. As the halfway point, this is a good opportunity to reflect on how things are going for you.

  Are you feeling more energized than when you started, eager to embrace each new daily reveal? Or are you running out of juice, yo-yoing back and forth between good days and not-so-good days? Remember, you are right where you should be. Progress is not always linear, and acceptance is key throughout this process.

  Explore

  Changes I've seen in myself since I began this book . . .

  Ways I feel more (or less) comfortable with the up-and-down nature of clearing . . .

  What would help me stay on track . . .

  WEEK 27

  RELEASING WITH WATER

  You can change the world with a hot bath, if you sink into it from a place of knowing that you are worth profound care, even when you're dirty and rattled. Who knew?

  —Anne Lamott, Small Vctories

  DAY 183

  MOVE WITH THE FLOW

  Moved by her joyful retrospectives of her contributions to the world, I emailed Oprah Winfrey at the end of her twenty-fifth season. I thanked her for giving us so much, being so real, and inspiring us to embrace more of who we truly are.

  It must have put me on a list because I received a lovely reply. (Me and probably millions of others.) With no fancy header at the top, no click-through buttons promoting stuff, no perfect punctuation, I was touched by her genuinely sisterly message about life after Harpo. Here's an excerpt:

  Started out the week taking swimming lessons. Moving beyond my amateur doggy paddle. Learned the breast stroke today. . . .

  For years I've been a challenged swimmer, afraid of the water and fighting it. Today I learned to move with the flow.

  This I've known forever is the great metaphor of life. “Move with the flow.” Don't fight the current.

  Resist nothing. Let life carry you. Don't try to carry it.

  Sometimes we just have to be reminded. A swim lesson did it for

  What has helped you learn to move with the flow?

  Explore

  What has helped me move with the flow . . .

  What moving with the flow feels like . . .

  DAY 184

  LIQUID MEMORY AID

  Today I invite you to wash your hands to cultivate awareness. Resist the urge to “get it over with” and notice what it feels like when you take your time.

  Allow the sight of running water—flowing from the faucets in the sink, shower, bath, laundry, hose . . . to help you remember to . . .

  Stop. Breathe. Let go.

  Explore

  The impulse to rush and “get it over with” feels . . .

  What it feels like to take my time . . .

  DAY 185

  SCENTS AND SENSIBILITY

  Have you ever wondered how many times a day you wash your hands? Or noticed what it feels like? Are you aware of the water temperature, the quality and smell of the soap you're using, or how long you keep your hands in the water? Do you notice the texture of the towel you use to dry your hands?

  Given a
choice in a public restroom, do you reach for a paper towel or the hand dryer? Environmental impact notwithstanding, which of these approaches leaves you feeling loved-up and well tended?

  Take the time today to wash your hands slowly, in a way that honors you. If you have a fabulous, divine-smelling bar of soap, use it.

  Take a good, long time to dry your amazing hands, which don't get credit for what they do for us every waking minute.

  Ahh . . . How's your breathing now?

  Explore

  Washing and honoring my hands in a nourishing way feels . . .

  When I look at my hands, I see . . . (Name and feel any judgments and breathe them out.)

  DAY 186

  WASH AND RELEASE

  Is there something today that is troubling you, keeping you up at night, or making you feel blocked?

  If so, there's a Japanese saying that may help: “Let the things of long ago drift away on the water.” That is, let bygones be bygones. Today, try using intentional hand washing, bathing, or dish washing to release the charge that is keeping you stuck. Imagine the water washing away all the stressful buildup of whatever is troubling you, while new water flowing from the spigot brings in new energies to cleanse, refresh, and uplift.

  There is nothing that you're holding on to that cannot be washed away.

  Explore

  Washing my troubles away feels . . .

  It is safe for me to let go of the past because . . .

  DAY 187

  DRINK UP

  Have you ever noticed how thirsty you get after you've been clearing? This is because you are processing a lot of energy.

  Drinking lots of good water is space clearing's best friend. It reduces the side effects of clearing and helps you feel better fast.

  Next time you consciously clear, put away, or address a difficult situation, notice your thirst and be sure to have a bottle of water on hand before tackling a task.

  Bottoms up, everyone!

  Explore

  I notice I get really thirsty when . . .

  The last time I had a glass of water was . . .

  DAY 188

  WASHING MEDITATION

  This one-minute washing practice goes hand in hand with the others you've tried this week. It uses intentional breathing as a way to release what's holding you back.

  Run your faucet for a few seconds today until the water temperature feels just right.

  Fill the sink with water.

  Breathe in ease as you watch the water level rise.

  Place your hands in the bowl and wash them slowly for one minute, breathing normally.

  Breathe out slowly with the word r-e-l-e-a-s-e as you empty the bowl.

  Explore

  Breathing in ease feels . . .

  Breathing out release feels . . .

  DAY 189

  CHECK IN—RELEASING WITH WATER

  The focus this week was to use the gentle flow of water to release stuck energy and anchor an experience in letting go.

  In what ways has intentional washing and bathing helped to create more flow in your life? In what ways has taking your time, honoring your hands, and drinking more water made you feel nourished this week?

  Explore

  Ways that I've noticed water helping me move stuck energy and create more flow . . .

  Ways that I feel nourished from these experiences . . .

  WEEK 28

  LETTING IN THE LIGHT

  You are just a few laughs from letting a whole lot of good stuff in.

  You are just a few kisses from letting a whole lot of good stuff in.

  You are just a little bit of relief from letting a whole lot of good stuff in.

  —Abraham-Hicks

  DAY 190

  WHAT CLEARING CAN LOOK AND FEEL LIKE

  Do you ever have those special-occasion days that end up unraveling into an emotional heap?

  It was a beautiful Thanksgiving Day last year, and we were thrilled to have our daughter home with us. With dinner plans scheduled for later on, the day was wide open to have some feel-good time as a family.

  Didn't happen.

  We couldn't find our groove. We spent most of the day orbiting around each other in separate worlds: my husband going for a run, our daughter writing on her laptop, me working hard to meet a deadline for an online course I was creating. When I was ready to go for our walk, my daughter was out running, and my husband was taking a nap.

  Seems benign, until you start to throw in expectation, disappointment, hunger, discord, impatience—the “perfect storm” conditions (in my case) for old abandonment issues to rear their ugly little head. Yes, my buttons got royally pushed on that Thanksgiving Day.

  What made this perfect storm different, though, was that I was able to process the emotional weather the moment I became aware of it. Instead of letting the poor-me patterns fester like they used to in the old days, I closed my eyes and went inside to the place that hurt the most: my heart space. What I felt and saw with my mind's eye was a dark, gucky, chaotic energy swirling around an image of the three of us facing outward, completely disconnected from one another. Beneath all that was a wave of deep, amorphous grief.

  So I watched and felt and allowed my squirmy self to not like it at all. I watched my impulses to bolt and disappear and make everyone feel really bad. I witnessed the gucky energy. I felt the gucky energy. I inserted as much compassionate awareness as I could into that gucky energy.

  For about five minutes I observed and allowed. I became my own witnessing presence.

  Over the course of about fifteen minutes, I watched as the area around my heart space began to grow lighter, brighter, and clearer. My nervous system had calmed. I felt restored. I felt myself again. When I opened my eyes, I felt strangely cleansed and purified.

  And the other best part is that my family seemed lighter, brighter, and clearer too.

  Explore

  This situation from my past has brought up an old wound . . . (what it looked and felt like . . .)

  When I insert compassionate awareness into the wound, I can feel . . .

  DAY 191

  RECEIVE WITH SIMPLICITY

  Rashi, a medieval French rabbi and author, advises, “Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.”

  You could also receive things the hard way. But why would you want to?

  Good question. Back in the day when our daughter was in elementary school, I remember how hard I made things for myself (and others) by insisting that I take on the get-ready-for-school detail. For two non—morning people, let's just say the daily wrangles over waking up, getting dressed, and making lunch were far from harmonious.

  When my husband took over the morning routine (out of sheer desire for peace and quiet in our household), I still couldn't let go of my need to be in charge. I couldn't receive the simplicity of what was being offered to me. I mean really. Who cares if the hair is not parted perfectly and the socks don't match? I can laugh about it now, but I cringe at the thought of how long it took me to surrender; to give it a friggin' rest!

  Do you notice situations where you tend to make things more difficult for yourself? Use today to notice them and the offerings of support that seem to magically appear to make your life easier.

  What are you ready to receive the easy way?

  Explore

  Situations in which I tend to make things more difficult for myself . . .

  What I'm ready to receive the easy way . . .

  What I can let go of to receive it . . .

  DAY 192

  IT'S NOT PERSONAL

  We've talked quite a bit about how certain spaces can make us feel drained, enervated, or wiped out. The world is full of low-vibrational frequencies swirling in the ether. And it's very easy to get sideswiped by them when we're not paying attention.

  When was the last time you got derailed by someone or something? Are you able to recognize that anything that doesn't feel good does not have to be “yours”?

&nbs
p; Explore

  An energy that threw me off recently was . . .

  This energy made me feel . . .

  I know it wasn't mine because . . .

  DAY 193

  SHINING LIGHT

  Scroll down the following statements and check those that apply to you. Nothing to “do” but notice the ones that elicit the slightest pang (gulp, eye roll, snicker) of unease:

  I still have clothes in my closet that don't fit.

  My handbag is still a mess.

  I still have tolerations that I can't seem to get to.

  I've had projects for years that I have yet to finish.

  I run endless-loop tapes in my head that begin with “I should.”

  I'm ashamed to let anyone see my home.

  I'm afraid to slow down.

  I need help but am afraid to ask for it.

  I feel guilty when I take time to do something for myself.

  I let people down when I make mistakes.

  Which statements hit a nerve? Can you allow your buttons to get pressed without beating yourself up? What would help you feel compassionate self-acceptance?