God, I Hate That Man Read online

  15

  Finn

  I felt bad this morning about having to run out on Ashley, but I had an early morning video conference scheduled, like really early, and I didn’t want to wake her. I knew she would find my note and know I hadn’t run out on her, just that something came up I had to deal with. I almost left the note beside the coffee machine, but on a whim, I tucked it into her favorite mug instead.

  Because of my super early start, I don’t feel guilty leaving the office at six instead of a stupidly late time. I figure Ashley will get in around half an hour after me now, since we’re no longer trying to avoid each other. Maybe we can have dinner together again. Or maybe tonight, she will feel like going out to eat.

  I don’t bother changing. I’ll wait and see what she wants to do first before I decide what to wear. I sit down on the couch and then it hits me. I like Ashley. Not just desire her, not just like the way I feel when I’m fucking her. I actually like her as a person. I want to spend time with her even if nothing happens between us.

  I watch the clock impatiently as it moves towards seven. Then eight. Then nine. I’ve tried to call Ashley a few times, but it keeps going to voicemail. I’m starting to get really worried now and I debate calling Tyson and have him track Ashley down. That would be weird though if it’s just something’s come up at work and she stayed late at the office to deal with it. But what if it isn’t that? What if something has happened to her?

  It’s 9:25 when she finally comes in. I stand up and open my mouth to ask if she’s okay when I realize she’s not alone. She’s with a man. A tall man who isn’t bad looking and who seems to be hanging on her every word as they laugh together.

  I instantly hate him.

  “Oh Finn, hi. We’re not disturbing you, are we?” Ashley asks.

  It takes every bit of will power I have not to tell her to go to hell and take her douchebag date with her, but I manage to arrange my face into what I hope is a careless smile and shake my head instead.

  “This is Alan Gershwin,” Ashley introduces. “Alan, Finn Jagger.”

  Alan steps forward and offers me his hand.

  I shake it, because what else am I supposed to do? Wrench his arm behind his back and boot him out of my apartment? That’s what I’m itching to do.

  “How’s it going?” He asks, with a sick grin.

  “Busy,” I mutter

  “I’ll go and grab the file. I won’t be a moment,” Ashley says before she disappears down the hallway, leaving me and Alan alone together.

  We stand in uncomfortable silence, watching each other cautiously. Yeah, I hate him. And I really fucking hate the fact that I am jealous of him. I try not to glare at him. We stand staring each other down.

  “So Finn, what do you do?” He asks awkwardly.

  I have half a mind to ask him to mind his own business.

  Fortunately, Ashley breezes back in, stopping any conversation in its tracks. “Here you go,” she smiles, handing Alan a file.

  He takes the file and thanks her.

  “Would you like to stay for a drink?” She asks.

  I jump in before Alan can answer, “Umm… aren’t you forgetting something?”

  “What?” Ashley asks with a frown. She seems to be completely oblivious to the atmosphere between Alan and I.

  “We have the wedding stuff to go over,” I slip in smoothly.

  “Wedding stuff?” Alan interrupts. His face turns quite pale. “Ashley, you didn’t tell me you were getting married.”

  No, I bet she fucking didn’t.

  Ashley opens her mouth to say something, shooting me a look that feels like it should have turned me to stone or something. She forces a smile. “Yes, I am Alan.”

  “Uh… right. Well, I’ll pass on the drink, thanks. I’d hate to stand in the way of your perfect wedding.”

  Ashley sees the mumbling fool out. As soon as she closes the door, she rounds on me. “What exactly the fuck was that?” She demands.

  “What was what?” I ask, feigning innocence. “My mom called earlier. She needs to know whether we want the salmon or chicken entrée.”

  “And you don’t think that could have been a conversation we could have had five minutes after Alan left?”

  “You didn’t tell him we were getting married?” I ask pointedly, ignoring what she said.

  “No, I didn’t, because I haven’t even told my parents yet, Finn. Jeez, I can’t believe you did that. Now he’s going to think I deliberately kept it a secret from him,” Ashley yells.

  “Well, you did,” I point out. “Why do you care so much what he thinks anyway?”

  “Dammit Finn, I can’t even talk to you right now. You choose the damned entrée and tell your mother your choice. As if I care.” She starts to storm away from me.

  I grab her arm and spin her back around to face me. “Where the hell have you been?” I demand. “I was worried about you.”

  “Worried about me? It’s not even ten o’clock,” she points out.

  Ok, she has a point there. I have completely overreacted about her being late. “I tried to call you and you ignored my calls,” I say.

  “My phone was on silent mode in my purse. I didn’t hear it ringing.”

  That makes me even madder. “So where were you?”

  “That’s none of your goddamned business,” she snaps, anger flaring over her face again.

  “The last time you disappeared like this, you were in trouble,” I point out.

  “And this time, I wasn’t. I’m a fucking grown woman Finn, and if I want to stay out past nine o’clock, I don’t expect it to be a problem.”

  “Yeah? Well, I don’t expect you to bring strange men back to the apartment,” I snap.

  “Oh, that’s what this is about,” Ashley says. “It’s not about where I’ve been, but who I was there with.”

  I shrug, not quite ready to admit to this, but seeing no feasible way to deny it.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but Alan is an old friend from college. He thinks he can help with one of my cases, hence the file. We haven’t seen each other in a long time so we went out to grab a bite to eat together. And you have nothing to worry about, Finn. I wasn’t on a date, making you look like a laughing stock. Alan is very happily married.”

  “I… oh,” I say, the wind going out of my sails. “Fuck. I’m sorry Ashley. I just… I don’t even know what it is.”

  “You’re sorry?” she asks sarcastically. “Well, that’s okay then. I mean it’s not like you’ve made one of my oldest friends think I was hiding my fiancé away like a dirty secret. And it’s not like you were so rude to him that he practically ran away from me, is it?”

  “I’m sorry,” I mutter, angrier with myself than she is.

  “Yeah? Well that’s not good enough. Why did you even behave that way Finn?” Ashley shouts.

  “Because I was jealous alright?” I shout back. I don’t give her time to respond. I close the gap between us, grab her, pull her into my arms, and kiss her hard on the mouth.

  She goes stiff for a second and then she kisses me back, her arms wrapping around me. She pulls back slightly. “Aren’t we meant to make a new rule for today?” She asks breathlessly.

  “Fuck the rules,” I reply, pulling her mouth back to mine. This isn’t what I meant to happen tonight or any other night for that matter, but now that it is, I’m certainly not going to try and stop it. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. Angry sex with Ashley is easily the highlight of my year.

  Hell, of my fucking life.

  I start to walk her backwards as we kiss, slamming her against the wall behind her. She makes an animal sound, but it doesn’t stop her from kissing me, from pushing my jacket off, unbuttoning my shirt and pushing that off too. She’s opening my slacks and I’m tearing at her blouse, finally getting it open and discarding it.

  The rest of our clothes come off in a frenzied movement, our mouths only leaving each other long enough to strip each other naked. It’s like
we’re driven by lust, not stopping to let rational thought in, because I think we both know if we pause to think about this for even a second… we’ll realize we shouldn’t do this.

  When we’re naked, I kiss Ashley’s neck and push my fingers inside of her, working her g-spot until she’s gasping in my ear and digging her nails into my shoulders. I bring her to orgasm and as she’s coming, I slip my fingers out of her and grab her clit, pinching it hard enough to make her moan turn into a shocked gasp.

  Her eyes fly open and meet mine and I see the complete and utter lust in her eyes. I move my fingers away from her clit, running my hands up the back of her thighs. I grip her ass and lift her into the air.

  She comes up off the ground easily and wraps her legs around me as I slip inside of her. I pump into her, hard and fast against the wall. I can’t believe I once thought she was too fragile for this. She might be light, but she’s anything but fragile.

  The sex is fast and furious as we grope each other roughly, our kisses desperate and full of crazed passion and longing. I slam into Ashley again and again. It is almost as if I’m punishing her for making me feel jealous. When she comes, she bites down on my shoulder. I suck in a pained breath. Her teeth send shivers through me, pain and pleasure mingling in a most deliciously unexpected way.

  My climax blasts through me, spreading fire through my cock, up into my stomach and out into my limbs. I come hard, spurting into Ashley’s clenching pussy as she screams my name.

  As her orgasm starts to recede, I hold her in place for a moment until I get myself back under control. One hand on Ashley’s ass and one on the wall I steady myself. When I begin to feel normal again, I walk over to the couch with Ashley clinging to me like a little monkey. I deposit her on the couch and sit down beside her, reaching down for the blanket that’s still sitting on the little table beside the couch.

  I spread the blanket over us and she snuggles against me.

  She smiles up at me, her cheeks flushed from the orgasm she’s just had. “You know, if you’re going to do that every time, I will bring strange men back here more often,” she grins.

  “Don’t bother,” I growl.

  She tilts her face up at me.

  I lean down and kiss her full on the mouth. I can’t understand why this woman alone can turn me to mush without doing anything.

  16

  Ashley

  I can’t for the life of me work Finn out. Or myself.

  All I know is this feels like more than just a crush in some ways, but in other ways, it feels like that’s all it should be. The way we don’t seem to be able to hold ourselves back from having sex with each other is mad and crazy, and it shouldn’t even be legal.

  In some ways, what we’re doing together feels good and I think I should let it play out and see where it goes, but in other ways, in the sensible part of my head, it feels like a train wreck waiting to happen. It’s funny because Finn often accuses me of thinking with my emotions rather than my head, and yet he’s not exactly putting a stop to what keeps happening. I just wish he were thinking with his heart rather than his cock. And that’s where the problem lies.

  That’s how I know I’ll end up hurt.

  The chemistry between Finn and me is undeniable now, but for him, I think that’s as far as it goes. Yes, that’s definitely as far as it goes. He doesn’t want more. I’m pretty certain he doesn’t feel anything else for me except lust. If he does, he certainly doesn’t show it. He instigated the sex last night and afterwards, I know he was the one who spread a blanket over us and cuddled into me. But that’s how he probably is with all his women.

  After all, he seems perfectly capable of having sex with me and then going back to us being a business arrangement and nothing more. I don’t like the idea of us being just fuck buddies, but I also don’t want to put a stop to it.

  Even the thought of Finn and me being in close proximity to each other and not having sex is just unthinkable. God, why can’t I be one of those women who can have sex with a hot guy and not get attached to him? Why can’t I be someone who just takes pleasure in the moment and doesn’t feel the need to analyze everything and overthink it?

  Maybe if I move out of Finn’s apartment and put some physical distance between us, I could make sense of my emotions, put it into perspective a little bit more. I should just make up with my father and ask to go back home. Or take one of those shithole apartments I’ve viewed until I can find somewhere better.

  It’ll look weird me moving out of Finn’s place just three weeks away from marrying him. And besides, I don’t want to move out. I like living with Finn. And that’s the truth of it. I like being here. It feels right, like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.

  Even now, I’ve rushed home from work earlier than I usually would, to try and spend some time with Finn because I know I won’t see much of him tomorrow evening. He’s having dinner at his parents’ place tomorrow evening. I’d been invited to the dinner, but I politely declined. Helen is so damned scary and it’s more than enough when I have to see so much of her for the wedding planning, let alone socializing with her. I’ve only met Finn’s father once. He came to the apartment and Finn introduced him to me, but I was rushing out and we never got past hello. While he seemed nice enough, it doesn’t mean I want to sit through an awkward dinner with him.

  Heck, I don’t even know how that would go. Would we all sit around the dinner table and pretend like Finn and I are a normal couple, or would we acknowledge the fact this is a sham relationship?

  I wonder what Helen would make of the fact that Finn and I can’t seem to keep our hands off each other when we’re alone together. I smile at the thought of her patronizing face. Would she be annoyed at Finn being with someone so socially inept?

  The intercom buzzes and I frown.

  At first, I think Finn has forgotten his keys, but I remember the doorman. There’s no way he’d call up ahead to tell me Finn is here. Finn would obviously just come up. Unless he’s making sure I’m home first, just to save himself the journey if I’m not. I’m not going to solve the mystery sitting here dithering that’s for sure. I get up off the couch and move to the intercom then press the talk button. “Hello?” I say.

  “Hello, Ms. Winters. I have a Janette Lake for Mr. Jagger,” the doorman greets.

  “Umm, okay, send her up please.”

  Who the hell is Janette Lake and what do I do with her? I’ve never heard Finn mention the name, but she could be a business associate or something. Then if Finn is on his way here to meet her while running a little bit late and I send her away, I don’t imagine he’ll be too happy about it.

  I wait by the door until a light knock comes, then I open it.

  The woman standing there is probably in her mid-thirties at a guess. She’s very beautiful with long tumbling blonde curls and a full figure with curves in all the right places. She’s wearing a cute little white skirt that shows her long, tanned legs, a vest top that shows her ample cleavage, and very, very high heels. In other words, she’s exactly Finn’s type, down to the clothes she’s wearing which look very designer. “Oh,” she exclaims, looking confused that I’m not Finn. Clearly, she wasn’t expecting a woman to be here. She probably doesn’t know Finn is engaged.

  “Who are you?” she demands rudely.

  “I’m Ashley,” I introduce, standing back to let the woman inside. I almost add that I’m Finn’s fiancée, but I remember how angry I was with Finn for doing that with Alan yesterday, and I decide to be the bigger person. Just because this woman is gorgeous doesn’t mean she’s not just a friend or a business associate of Finn’s. And if she is a business associate, maybe he doesn’t want her knowing the details of his personal life. “Finn isn’t here,” I say flatly. I can’t help the way my voice sounds sullen and unhelpful.

  “Do you know where he is?”

  I shake my head. “No, I’m sorry I have no idea. I can text him and find out.”

  “That would be great, thank you.” Janette s
miles for the first time and she has amazing teeth.

  She still isn’t telling me why she’s here, but I’m starting to think Finn must have been expecting her and got caught up at the office or something. She seems like she expected him to be here.

  I go and get my phone from the counter and send Finn a quick text. Where are you? There’s a Janette Lake here to see you. I press send and Janette and I stand and look at each other awkwardly while I wait for a response. “Why don’t we sit down?” I say when the silence gets too much even for me.

  Janette nods and struts over to the tall stools by the counter. She slips gracefully onto one and perches there like she belongs.

  Clearing my throat, I follow her and sit down one stool away from her. My phone pings as I sit down. I open a text from Finn and read it quickly.

  I’ll be there in ten minutes.

  It’s short and to the point. I’m relieved Finn will be home soon and this awkward encounter will be over, but I’m also a little… something. I don’t know, angry maybe? That he’s dropping everything and rushing over to see Janette. I remind myself this is most likely business. Maybe she was meant to meet him at the office and got her wires crossed or something. But something about the way she is dressed and looks tells me she has nothing to do with business. “Finn’s on his way home. He’ll be here in ten minutes,” I tell her shortly.

  “Oh, thank God,” Janette remarks with a short laugh. “I know you’re going to think this is ridiculous, but I left an earring in his car last night, and I really have to get it back. I know it’s only an earring, but it has sentimental value to me, and I haven’t been able to settle since I realized I lost it. I’m just glad I worked out where it must be.”

  I smile and nod, but I’m not really listening to Janette’s silky voice and her perfect laugh. I’m seething inside. There’s only one way a person loses her earring in a car and doesn’t notice immediately… the thought of Finn and Janette fucking, then him coming home and fucking me turns my stomach. I actually want to vomit on her. “I completely get it,” I mutter when I realize Janette is waiting for me to say something.