God, I Hate That Man Read online

  I am just going to do what I had already planned to do this evening. Relax with my book for a bit and then have an early night. I tell myself I can ignore the fact that Finn is in his office, just a few doors down from me.

  I grab my book and move to the armchair, taking my soda with me. I open the can and take a long drink. It is sweeter than I expected it to be and I pull a face, but it is kind of refreshing in its own way, and when I take another drink, I realize I quite like it. I nod to myself, set it on the top of the chest of drawers beside me and open my book. I have read all of two lines when there is a knock on my door.

  My heart stops beating. I sigh quietly and remind myself this isn’t Finn’s fault. He doesn’t know why I am avoiding him. He probably just thinks I feel awkward about what happened the other night. I do a little bit, but that’s being totally overshadowed by this stupid crush I seem to have developed. Am I really so pathetic that a guy only has to make me come and I’m putty in his hands?

  Apparently so.

  I get up and go to open the door. Shouting for him to come in feels too much like an invitation for more. I steel myself and pull the door open. Finn is no longer in his suit and tie. He is wearing a pair of fashionable looking jeans and a white t-shirt. He smiles when I open the door and I feel my pussy clench.

  “Get changed,” Finn says. “I’m taking you out for dinner.”

  His comment should piss me off. It wasn’t so much an invitation as it was a demand. Yet, I suddenly find it hard to be mad with him. I still wasn’t about to go on a date with him though, because as much as that is what I would want it to be, I know to him it won’t be that. I shake my head. “I’ll take a rain check. I’m kind of tired and I was just going to have an early night.”

  “Ok, another time then,” he replies.

  He starts to move away from the door, but he looks so crestfallen it makes me feel awful. He is trying to alleviate any awkwardness between us, and I’m making it worse. I know what’s happening here. I’m letting my sudden crush on him make me act out and I don’t much like myself when I become that person. “Finn, wait,” I call.

  He turns back, looking hopeful.

  “I’m really not up for getting dressed up and going out, but if you order in, we could hang out.”

  He smiles at me, a warm, totally masculine, drop dead gorgeous smile. “Sounds good to me. I need to make a quick phone call. Why don’t you go grab the menus and see what sounds good?”

  I smile and nod. Maybe this will be okay after all. There isn’t any awkwardness between us, and I am a grown woman dammit. I can control myself.

  I watch Finn heading for his bedroom and then I make my way through to the living room. I keep going, heading to the kitchen, opening the top drawer, and pulling out a handful of menus. I go and sit down at the dining room table. I flick through the menus then begin sorting them into a maybe and a definite no pile. I narrow my maybe pile down into two menus and jump slightly when I notice Finn standing beside me.

  “Will you stop sneaking around?” I laugh nervously.

  He pulls out a chair and sits down at the table. “But it’s so much fun startling you,” he mocks

  I roll my eyes good naturedly and point to the two menus. “I’m torn between Mexican and Thai. What do you like?”

  “I could go for some Thai.”

  “Then it’s settled then. Thai, it is,” I say.

  Finn picks up the Thai menu. “Should I order their dragon surprise meal and we’ll have a bit of everything?”

  Seeing his long eyelashes rest on his cheek makes my heart flutter and I nod speechlessly when he looks up at me.

  Finn moves away from the table and goes out onto the balcony where he paces up and down as he talks on the phone. He’s changed into a pair of navy blue tracksuit bottoms and a different t-shirt. The t-shirt is big on him the kind you wear when you just want to be comfortable.

  It makes me feel slightly better about the fact I’m still wearing my pajamas.

  Finn comes back inside a few minutes later, sliding the door closed behind him.

  “You know, even when you’re just ordering food you pace about like you’re in the middle of a major call,” I point out.

  He grins. “It is a major call. I’m hungry.”

  I laugh and shake my head.

  He heads over to the mini bar. “Do you want a drink?”

  “I’d love a glass of rose if you have any.”

  “Your wish is my command,” he drawls with a wink.

  If only.

  He bends down to the little fridge beneath the bar and comes out with a dark bottle. He opens it with a flourish, even though it’s a screw cap, and pours me a large glass full. He pours himself a whiskey and nods towards the living room area.

  I get up and follow him to the couch, instantly aware of what happened last time we were sitting here.

  Finn hands me my glass and smiles at me. “We return to the scene of the crime.”

  I feel myself blushing slightly and I take a drink of the wine rather than having to respond to him. I mean what would I even say?

  “Look Ashley, when we first met, we didn’t much like each other and we were both sure that wouldn’t change. But I think it has. I think we’ve both seen sides to each other that we didn’t know were there and it’s changed things slightly. And clearly, we do find each other attractive.” He pauses and smiles at me.

  I return his smile, wondering where the hell he’s going with this. It occurs to me that even if he feels the same way as I do and is going to talk about us maybe making a go of this… I don’t want that. It will be too complicated with everything else going on between us.

  “We said we don’t need rules, but it looks like maybe we do. Obviously, it wasn’t enough to say we won’t have sex again,” he adds.

  “Wait,” I interrupt him. “Did you ask me to have dinner with you just to dump me?”

  “I… um… no,” he falters staring at me in disbelief.

  His expression is priceless and I can’t keep the laugh in any longer. It bursts out of me in a rush.

  Finn looks confused for a moment and then he laughs too. “You totally got me there,” he admits. “But seriously, I do think we need some ground rules.”

  I nod for him to go on. He’s probably right and I’m interested to know where he’s going with this.

  “I also think saying we’ll never ever have sex just makes us want it more. So here’s what I propose,” he goes on. “We make a no sex rule just for one night. For tonight only, we can’t have sex with each other. We can talk and get to know each other a little better, but sex is off the table. And we can revisit the rule in the morning.”

  “I like it.” I nod. “Saying never is a lot of pressure. But we’re not animals. We can make it through one night without anything happening between us.”

  “Exactly,” Finn agrees.

  “Ok, deal.” I raise my glass.

  Finn clinks his glass against mine.

  “To one night of platonic bonding.” I grin like a Cheshire cat.

  “Oh, I love it when you talk dirty,” Finn teases with a laugh.

  We each swallow a mouthful and seal the deal.

  I feel better now, more relaxed. I don’t know if it’s because there’s suddenly no pressure for tonight, or if it’s because Finn didn’t take sex entirely off the table, but whatever it is, I like this relaxed feeling.

  There is no tension between us and we begin to chat about our days, about Finn’s business and my charity. We move onto talking about the most random things. When the food arrives, we’re deep into a debate about whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas movie or not. It clearly isn’t, but Finn is convinced it is.

  We spread the food out across the table and eat it straight out of the boxes, still chattering away the whole time. By the time we finish eating, and Finn puts some music on, I realize I am more than halfway down my bottle of rose wine. I know I should ease up on it a little bit, but I’m having a good tim
e and I decide to cut myself a break. It’s not like I’m falling over drunk. I’m just happy and relaxed.

  I jump to my feet, run to Finn’s side and grab his hands. “Dance with me.”

  “Dance with you?”

  I nod, pulling him into the open space between the living room and the dining table. “Yeah. You know that thing people do to music where they move around and have fun? Come on, show me some of your moves. I want to see what you’ll be like at our wedding.” I laugh at his expression. I think he is going to say no, but he spins me away from him so swiftly, pulls me back to him, and dips me down so fast I get dizzy.

  “That’s pretty much my only move,” he jokes with a grin.

  “It’s a good one though,” I say, grabbing him tightly. I am still dipped and I’m acutely conscious of Finn’s arm around my back, my hand in his. It’s as though my realization is infectious because Finn pulls me back up and steps away from me. I curse myself inside for taking a good night like this and making it awkward.

  Finn turns back to me and rather than looking like he feels uncomfortable, he’s grinning. “Right I humored you and did your dance thing. Now it’s your turn to humor me.”

  Just like that, the awkward moment passes.

  I laugh and shake my head. “Ok, I’ll humor you,” I slur, wondering where the hell he’s going with this. “What exactly are you suggesting?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?” he asks rolling his eyes. He moves away from me and begins to shove one of the couches around in a half circle, moving it towards the back of the other one. He looks back over his shoulder at me and grins again. “Blanket fort.”

  “You want us to make a blanket fort?” I ask, sure I must have misunderstood.

  Finn pushes the couch into position so it sits back to back with the other one, a gap of a couple of feet between them. He begins to pull the cushions off the couch and lay them down in the gap. “For God’s sake, don’t stand there pretending like you don’t want to do this,” Finn taunts.

  And he’s right. I do want to do this. I haven’t done anything like this since I was a little kid, and it just feels right. I laugh and run towards the hallway.

  “I knew it!” Finn shouts after me.

  I’m still laughing when I return from the linen closet with a large sheet and four big fluffy pillows. We drape the sheet over the backs of the couches, forming a tunnel between them. I clamber into the gap and begin to arrange the pillows. I hear Finn moving away and I peer out. He disappears down the hallway, so I crawl back out of the tunnel and start to add more couch cushions.

  Finn comes back with a small lamp. He pulls an extension cord out from beneath the TV and stretches it over to the fort. He puts it behind the pillows and switches it on. “Get your wine and go in there.” He grins then disappears again.

  I do as he says. I’m nestled amongst the cushions with my glass when he returns.

  He turns the light off, leaving only the lamp on and he crawls into the space beside me with a fluffy blanket in his hands which he spreads over us.

  “You forgot your drink,” I remind.

  “No drinks in the fort,” he cautions. “I made an exception for you.”

  “No exceptions necessary.” Knowing I’m already seriously tipsy, I still drain my glass before shuffling to the end of the blankets to reach up and put the glass on the coffee table. I crawl back in and lay back on the cushions.

  Finn lays beside me, his hands folded beneath his head. “When was the last time you just forgot about all of your responsibilities and did something like this just for the sheer fun of it?” He asks.

  I think for a moment and I shake my head. “I honestly can’t remember.”

  “Me neither,” Finn agrees. “That’s pretty fucking sad, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, I guess it is. I just… I don’t know. Somehow it always feels wrong to let go and enjoy myself when I think of all of the work I have piling up.”

  “Same here,” Finn replies. “At least, you’re helping people though. I mean I’m depriving myself of a bit of downtime for what? To make money?”

  “Don’t be fooled, Finn. I like helping people, but really, this whole thing started because I needed to do something to fill the void inside of myself,” I admit. “It might be helping people, but it’s kind of selfish too.”

  Finn shuffles onto his side and rests his head on his palm, propped up on his elbow. He looks down at me. “I don’t think you’re selfish at all. Even if you get something out of what you do, you’re doing so much for so many people, and it can’t be easy.”

  I find myself looking back up at him. “You know, for a moment there, that actually sounded like you gave me a compliment,” I tease him.

  “Yeah, it’s just the whiskey talking. Don’t worry, it won’t happen again.” He flops back down onto his back folding his hands beneath his head again.

  “Noted.” I grin. “So before any of this, did you ever see yourself getting married?”

  “I didn’t really think about it to be honest. Obviously, I wanted to find the right girl and settle down… one day. But it certainly wasn’t something I was planning on doing any time soon. What about you?”

  “I never really saw the point of getting married. I mean if you love someone enough to want to spend forever with them, do you really need a contract to prove it?” I ask.

  “You see marriage as a contract? Even outside of this situation?” Finn asks, surprised.

  I nod. “Well, yeah. Don’t you? I mean think about it. You make these promises and you sign a contract to say you’re legally bound to another person and you need another piece of legal document to say you are no longer bound.”

  “Your lawyer stripes are showing through. You guys sure know how to suck the romance out of anything. I like to think of it as more of a public celebration of your love for each other.”

  “Sap,” I mocks with a laugh.

  “Cynic,” he shoots back.

  “You know, maybe this was your grandfather’s plan all along,” I suggest. “To bring us together and force us to change our views on marriage. You know, I can make you a bit more practical about it, and you can make me a bit more romantic about it.”

  “Or maybe he just knew we would never find anyone to put up with our bullshit, unless he made it happen.”

  “Actually, yeah, that sounds much more like it,” I agree.

  We fall into a comfortable silence and I try to work out what Finn’s grandpa really wanted this marriage to achieve. Did he think we would be a good match simply because he and my grandfather were friends? Which sounds silly. Or maybe he somehow sensed we would never get past our prejudices and see it for ourselves unless we were pushed together? Or did he really think that we were so bad a match that making Finn try to convince me to marry him would be a true test of how far he is willing to go to save the company?

  I give up trying to puzzle it out. I don’t think even Finn fully understands his grandpa’s reasoning behind this, and he knew the man a hell of a lot better than I did. I turn my head to speak to Finn. His eyes are closed. I don’t think he’s asleep, but I don’t think he’s far from it either. It is getting pretty late. “We should go to bed,” I say.

  He turns towards me, opens one eye, and smiles at me. “We can’t. Remember our rule?”

  “I meant separately,” I clarify with a soft laugh.

  “We can’t anyway,” Finn shrugs.

  “Oh? And why is that?” I ask.

  “Because it’s the first rule of a blanket fort. Once you build it, you have to sleep in it,” Finn says like this is obvious.

  “And that’s an official rule, is it?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.

  “Sure. At least it is now. My fort, my rules.” He closes his eye again and spreads his arm out.

  I debate what to do and in the end, I think what the hell. I snuggle closer to Finn, turning onto my side and resting my head on his chest. He wraps his arm around me and I put my palm on his stomach, feeling it moving up
and down with his breathing.

  “I knew you’d see sense,” he mumbles, his voice thick with sleep.

  “Well, I’d hate to break the rules of the fort. You know, since you put so much thought into them.”

  He grunts in response and then he falls silent.

  His breathing becomes deeper and I know he is asleep now. I debate sneaking away, but I decide against it. I lay awake for a long time, listening to Finn’s deep, even breaths, just enjoying being so close to him, knowing it’s a dangerous move and not caring.

  I decide for one night to just enjoy this new-found closeness between us and stop worrying about what tomorrow might bring. I’ll worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes.

  I must have fallen asleep eventually, because I wake up still in the fort. The lamp is no longer on and I know instantly I’m alone in the fort and I feel a little sad, like the magic from last night has gone. Finn obviously woke up and slipped away so he didn’t have to face me in the morning. I can’t even be mad at him for it after I did the same thing to him the other morning.

  I sit up and stretch and then I crawl out of the fort. I stand still and listen, but the apartment is silent. Finn has gone to work. I shrug, telling myself it shouldn’t matter, but somehow it does. I shake the thought away and head for the kitchen where I can smell coffee. I touch the pot. It’s still warm. I open up the cupboard above the machine and grab my favorite mug. I pull it down and spot a sheet of paper rolled up inside of it. I pull it out with a frown. My frown turns to a smile when I unfold it and see it’s a note from Finn. I’m still smiling when I read it.

  Sorry I had to run out. Even the magic of the fort can’t stop office emergencies. See you tonight, Finn x.

  Okay, so maybe he didn’t run away so he didn’t have to face me, and maybe we haven’t quite lost the magic from last night.

  I pour myself a coffee and sit down at the counter to drink it. I know nothing can happen between us and I’m slowly making my peace with that, but I like how Finn and I can connect on some level as friends.