Emotions Series 03 Forgotten Emotions Read online

  B'Elanna ran her hands through his hair as she brought his head back down for a kiss. She ran her hands down his back and around to his front. She then ran her hands up under his shirt and over his chest, he fingers tangling in his golden chest hair. This produced another moan from him and she couldn't help, but be overjoyed.

  She removed his shirt and tossed it aside. It had been quite awhile since they had last spent a night together. She wanted to make this memorable. She wanted him to forget about that cruel mistress on that planet.

  Tom ran his hands through her dark tresses. Inhaling her scent, it seemed almost familiar. For a fleeting moment, he saw himself burying his face in dark silky hair and breathing in its scent. He shook his head. A memory? When was this? As he tried to force the memory to continue, it was gone. He shook his head, and looked down at the woman beneath him. They stared into each other's eyes. He found himself lost in those brown depths. This woman must have meant a great deal to him for he to have married her. He just wished he remembered it.

  Tom then bent down and brought his lips to hers and kissed her deeply. Again, he felt a wonderful sensation of joy and passion. The feelings grew as the kiss deepened. Suddenly, he let himself go as the emotions took over. He began to kiss her forehead, down her nose, her lips, then her jaw and finally down her throat. He heard her moan his name as she gave into the sensations he was giving her. He kissed her face and down her throat until he came across her nightgown. He stared at it and then moved his hands down her body. She sighed as her hands moved over his chest then back up over his shoulders. His hands found the hem of her gown and he slipped them under the material. His hands moved up her body and she gasped and moaned.

  Tom withdrew his hands and removed her nightgown. He then tossed it aside. He stared at her body in awe. The light bronze coloring was beautiful. Another flash of light sparked behind his eyes. He saw himself hovering over her, staring at her bare flesh exposed before him. He was in awe then as he was now. He could feel himself becoming quite aroused. He closed his eyes and sighed as another something surfaced. Another memory? He saw himself looking up at her then. She was on top of him, grinning at him. Then the memory was gone.

  "Tom?" B'Elanna asked, concerned that he suddenly stopped.

  Tom looked at her and smiled. She sighed contentedly as he ran his hand down her bare leg. Tom then slowly slid her underwear off and her excitement grew. B'Elanna couldn't contain her joy much longer as she anticipated his next move. Her dark exotic eyes at him as he removed his briefs and she smiled at him as he crawled his way back over her. Wrapping her arms around him, she drew him closer to her for a deep kiss and he ran his hands through her silky hair as the kiss deepened.

  B'Elanna sighed as she felt him nibble her earlobe and kiss his way down to her breasts. She gasped as he took one in his mouth. She held his head there as he licked and suckled on it. She closed her eyes and relished in the feeling that he remembered what she liked. She hoped this would bring back more memories as he moved to the next breast.

  Tom received another flash of a memory. He saw himself in a bed much like this one with red satin sheets. The only difference was that they were in a much smaller room. He remembered the feeling of joy he had at being with this woman alone with no one around. The memory was gone at once and Tom was left even more frustrated. He looked at B'Elanna, whose eyes were closed and head tilted back. He licked his way back up to her mouth, he heard her moan his name.

  He took her mouth with his and their tongues danced. He ran his hands into her hair and suddenly he entered her. Hearing her gasp, Tom felt her tighten her grip on his hair. Another flash of light sparked before him. He saw himself and her in the middle of a field of wildflowers. They were on a blanket, naked. They were coupling again with a wild abandonment. *Is this a wish, or a memory.?* he wondered.

  *How long have I been with her?* He asked himself as the vision vanished.

  "Tom?" B'Elanna concerned voice came to his ears.

  He looked at her, the dark pools of her eyes stared at him. Tom couldn't recall ever seeing anyone express such concern from anyone before. This was confusing him even more, he didn't know what to do or say. If only he could remember something without it disappearing before he realized the meaning of it.

  B'Elanna saw the frustrated look in Tom's eyes. She hoped he was remembering something. That was the third time he stopped during their love making.

  *Tom has to be remembering something,* she swore to herself, *He just has to be.*

  Tom shook his head and again took B'Elanna's mouth with his. Their tongues tangled together again as the passion rebuilt itself. This time, there was no stopping as they abandoned everything around them.

  B'Elanna moaned as Tom began to move inside her. The familiar powerful thrusts took her to new heights as she gave into her emotions. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he moved faster and deeper into her. She dug her nails into his back as the joy of reclaiming her mate washed over her.

  Tom felt many feelings and sensations wash over him. Something about this felt so right as he thrust deeper into her. Another flash appeared before him. This time, he saw himself biting her. He was confused at this. Then another memory made itself known. Klingons bite their intended mate. The vision was gone as he heard B'Elanna moan and he felt her nails dig into his back. He nibbled on her jaw as he quickened his pace.

  B'Elanna growled deeply as she neared the edge. She was unaware that Tom was licking and nibbling on her jaw. She screamed when he bit her. At that moment, she fell over the edge in ecstasy.

  Tom thrust one last time then released into her. He called out her name as his world exploded around him.

  Tom woke to find B'Elanna lying on his chest. He looked at her and felt the sense of protectiveness rise in him again. He stared at the ceiling, he tried to think of why he would feel like that. It was almost like the feeling of possessiveness that had asserted itself the day before.

  These feelings must have been there the whole time, and had been buried when he received his "training." Now they were reasserting themselves with vengeance.

  He looked down at B'Ellana and was suddenly overcome by a feeling of contentment devotion and belonging. He knew at that moment even though he couldn't remember everything, that this was where he was meant to be. With Daylia, he had never felt that way. He just felt that he belonged to her. He kissed B'Elanna's dark hair and settled down to sleep. He dreamed again, this time of a shuttle and a bed covered in satin.

  ****************

  Whatever little Tom remembered of last night was gone the next morning. He was again quiet and passive. B'Elanna almost wanted to strangle her husband after what they had experienced after their love making the night before, but she restrained herself. Sighing she got dressed for work. It seemed that she was becoming more and more agitated as Tom's memories refused to return.

  She would take her frustrations out on her staff. They could understand her anger, but no one dared speak to her unless they wanted their head bitten off. They avoided her unless she spoke to them.

  During her shift, a console blew out. She barked at an ensign to fix it. Two people showed up late, with unsatisfactory excuses and she reported them. She barked at them to clean the Jeffries Tubes as she went to file the report. When the ensign reported what was wrong with the console, she could feel a headache coming on. B'Elanna ordered him to fix it then scanned it twice for any more problems. Then the Captain ordered her to her Ready Room. She was not happy about that at all.

  Something was wrong with the Engineering console on the Bridge and she was asked to fix it. She grumbled the whole time. On occasion, she would look over at the Conn. An ensign was there now, but she could imagine Tom flying the ship. If only he could remember his life here. B'Elanna was more determined now to get her mate to remember.

  After her shift was over, B'Elanna headed back home. She had something planned to help Tom remember. She would get him to visit the Resort. They had such fond memo
ries there.

  *He has to remember the Resort,* B'Elanna thought, *If he remembers that, then everything else will fall into place.*

  B'Elanna's hopes were dashed, though as they stepped onto Holodeck One. Tom stared at his surroundings in wonderment. He looked at her and asked, "Did I make this too?"

  B'Elanna smiled slightly, "You helped. This is called the Resort. We came here often to rest and relax."

  Tom looked at the Resort again. He could detect a slight scent of salt water in the air. He breathed it in and instantly a flash of recognition sparked before his eyes. Laughter -- he heard laughter and he opened his eyes. Briefly Tom saw himself standing by B'Elanna. Happiness--he felt very a feeling of euphoria wash over him. Looking around and he could see two people standing before a crowd of people and heard them announce that they were going to be married. He caught a brief glimpse of B'Elanna laughing and he was beside her. But the image was gone again like all the others, much too soon for him to say that he remembered.

  Tom looked at B'Elanna. Her dark eyes were filled with hope. He didn't want to disappoint her, but he just couldn't really remember. He wanted to tell her about the flashes he was getting, but he didn't want to give her false hopes. But he did though know a place of relaxation when he saw it.

  Tom smiled at her and said, "Shall we relax then?"

  B'Elanna returned the smile. She took his arm and they walked over to two lounge chairs that were close together. She sat down in one while Tom sat in the other. This brought back a special memory for her, and she hoped that Tom would remember as well.

  He let out the breath he had been holding and closed his eyes. He slowly relaxed. He smiled as he felt the warmth of the sun beat down on his face.

  B'Elanna looked at him. She remembered that smile, it was the same one he gave her when they used the Resort after their adventure in the Argala Habitat. She relaxed into her chair as well. That was when she got an idea.

  "Tom," she asked, "do you want a backrub?"

  Tom stared at her strangely. *She wants to give ME a backrub?* He didn't know what to say, but it sounded wonderful and he nodded his head. The shock of her question had erased his knowledge of what his back looked like.

  "Why don't you take your shirt off while I go get some oil?"

  Tom nodded and proceeded to take his shirt off. He was suddenly reminded of his wounds. He felt ashamed and was about to put his shirt back on when B'Elanna returned with the oil. She sat down next to him and told him to turn around. He did so and he heard her gasp. He winced at that and suddenly felt self-conscious. He made a move to cover himself, but her voice stopped him.

  "Haven't you had those healed, yet?" B'Elanna asked, staring at the wounds on his back. They looked like deep welts on his back. As if someone had scratched him. A sudden flash of fury built up inside her, and she had to restrain herself from going into frenzy and destroying everything around her.

  Tom could hear the deep concern in her voice. He was surprised that this woman cared about him so much. He turned around and saw the emotion in her dark eyes.

  "The doctor tried to heal them, but..." he shrugged.

  B'Elanna stifled a growl. Of course, they were the wounds from a laser whip. Those types of wounds were very difficult to heal, and still they left scars. She closed her eyes and sighed. When she opened them again, Tom was staring at her.

  "If you want me to, I will still rub your back, Tom."

  Tom gave her a small smile then nodded, "Be careful?"

  B'Elanna nodded. The expression in her eyes stopped him. They were filled with compassion and sympathy for him. The intensity of the look was much stronger than it was before. She was truly worried about him. He didn't know what to say. He stared into her eyes and could see that they were filling with unshed tears.

  "What's wrong?" Tom asked.

  B'Elanna sniffed as a tear fell from her left eye, "To go through what you did. To be punished like that. It must have been more than painful."

  Tom shrugged, "When I disobeyed the Lady, I was punished. Any man who disobeyed was punished. It was just the way it was."

  B'Elanna stared at him. How could he act like it was natural to be punished! She forced herself to remain calm as she spoke to him, "That is wrong, Tom. When you were on Voyager, you disobeyed the Captain or the Commander a lot. You were never punished that severely! Usually they'd just confine you to your quarters or limit your rations, but no one ever hurt you."

  Tom stared at her in shock. He disobeyed before and he wasn't hurt? He shook his head and stared off into space.

  "You are loved and respected on this ship, Tom," B'Elanna continued as she turned him around so his back faced her. "People are worried about you. They want you back. I want you back. It took us a year to admit our feeling to each other, and I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you." She pour some of the oil in her palm, kissed him tenderly on his scarred back and rubbed in the oil with her strong hands.

  Tom was surprised again by the amount of emotion in her voice, and he reveled in her touch. The Lady never talked to him like this or made him feel so good. She never shown any kind of caring for him, except as an object. He wondered if he would ever get used to this woman showing affection for him.

  Trying to lighten the sudden solemn mood, he decided to change the subject. He looked around the Resort again, and saw several people walking around. Most were holding drinks. Others were playing games, and still others were sitting and talking.

  "Do a lot of things happen here?" he asked, looking at her.

  B'Elanna's eyes darkened. Her hopes that he would remember were gone. She growled low in her throat as the last of her patience wore out.

  "Damn it, Tom Paris!" B'Elanna shouted at him, her Klingon side getting the best of her. It was hard not to let her Klingon temper show, but sometimes the anger she felt was just too strong and burst through the surface. She was glad that the children weren't here to witness her temper. "Why can't you remember!? You've experienced many things that should have caused you to remember, but nothing has happened! Don't you want to remember!?"

  Tom felt her anger and it scared him. He backed away from her, holding up his hands.

  "Please," he whispered, "I'm trying. I really am, but nothing is happening. Please, don't hit me. I am trying."

  B'Elanna glared at him. Then she stared at him. He had never backed down from her when she yelled at him. He always yelled right back, sometimes with more anger than her.

  *If I could get my hands on Daylia again, I'd kill her for doing this to him,* B'Elanna vowed again.

  Tom saw her eyes flash with anger. Although it aroused him in a way that he could not fathom, he still backed away from her. He did not want to be punished again.

  B'Elanna noticed him backing away from her. She took a deep breath to calm herself before she spoke, "I'm sorry, Tom. I didn't mean to shout. I'm not going to punish you. I'm just frustrated that you can't remember anything after all that I've shown you."

  Tom put his hands down and stared at the floor, "I'm sorry, too. I'm just as frustrated. I want to remember. I really do, but there's this wall that blocks everything from my mind."

  B'Elanna looked at him. He really was trying, she could see that. Maybe, he needed time. Maybe he shouldn't be pushed so hard. Maybe they should back away and let the memories resurface on their own. The only problem was that that could take a long time, and she was not a very patient person.

  "Let's go home, Tom," B'Elanna said in a sad voice.

  *******

  "He's trying, Chakotay, but nothing is happening," B'Elanna paced back and forth in Chakotay's quarters. The pacing was making the Commander dizzy.

  "I don't know what to do. I've tried just about everything."

  Chakotay sighed. He knew she was frustrated, he could tell just by the way she paced. She hardly came to him anymore unless something was really bothering her. He shook his head to keep from watching her pace. His head was starting to swim.

  "B'El
anna, please, stop pacing, you're making me dizzy," Chakotay said, rubbing his temples, "Sit down."

  B'Elanna stopped, stared at him, then sat down in the chair across from him. She put her head in her hands and sighed. She then growled.

  I don't know what to do. Sometimes, I think he's remembered something, but then he acts like nothing's happened. I do think he's remembering something, but he won't tell me what it is."

  "Maybe he doesn't know what he's remembering, and he doesn't want to get your hopes up."

  B'Elanna sighed, "I thought his forest program would trigger something. I also thought seeing his kids would make a difference. Tom just keeps telling me he doesn't remember. He's frustrated. I know he is. He told me that maybe we should just let the memories come back on their own, but that could take a long time, Chakotay."