Until Then Read online

  “Dirty Jew!” a classmate screamed at him and then turned to run. The rock felt like it made a fairly decent size dent in his skull, and he set the books down on the sidewalk to make sure. He rubbed his hand along the newly formed knot and grimaced in pain.

  “Are you okay?” Her eyes were wide with fear.

  “Yes.” He showed teeth, but it wasn’t a real smile.

  “Why don’t you let me carry my own books? Just in case…”

  He nodded, lifted their books from the ground and they continued on walking in silence. After a few moments, Eli slipped his free hand into Sophia’s. She looked from her hand back to him, but he was staring straight ahead as if it were normal.

  * * * *

  That wasn’t the first time Eli had been called that nasty name. It angered Sophia, every time some rude boy from their class yelled it out at him. Eli had been given a yellow patch in the shape of a star and it was now sewn onto every shirt he owned. Sophia didn’t understand. And when she asked Eli, he shrugged and said that his father considered it an honor to be recognized for something they were so proud of. That didn’t sit right with Sophia, however. And when she asked her own father, he scowled, stabbed his potato and said, “You shouldn’t be around that boy so much. It isn’t proper, and you will be punished. Jews aren’t the same as us.”

  But what her father didn’t see, didn’t hurt. They only walked home from school together and sometimes his friends invited her along for a game of hide and seek, like today. Those were her favorite days, but lately they were fewer and further in between because Eli said he had much to do at home. She didn’t pry or ask questions because Eli was private about his home life. She was happy to see him in school.

  * * * *

  When they reached the end of the street, Eli stopped and turned toward Sophia.

  “Sophia?”

  “Yes?” He was going to kiss her. She could feel it.

  “I think, well, I know…I have to go away for a while.”

  She drew back and ripped her hands from his.

  “What? What are you talking about? You are moving?”

  Eli nodded somberly. “I can’t do anything about it, Sophia. My father said things are really getting bad for us and he is afraid, I think.”

  “Afraid? Just because people call you names from time to time? They only pick on you because of that stupid star.” She shoved his chest and turned from him. “What will running do? It won’t solve it. My father says it is happening all over Europe. The stars look a little different, but it still means the same thing.”

  Eli rested his hand on her shoulder. “Sophia, don’t be upset. Today was my last day at school.”

  She spun around, her eyes fierce and her hands were balled into fists. “What? How can you just quit like that? You are letting them win!”

  “They…”

  “What?” She was almost screaming now. “What are you saying?”

  “They won’t let me come back, Sophia. They have banned Jews from school, and they destroyed my father’s office last night. They broke the glass of every store front that belongs to a Jew and they took them…”

  “What are you saying?” Sophia started to tremble. Eli looked right and left and pulled her behind an abandoned doctor’s office.

  “Listen to me, Sophia. It isn’t right, what they’re doing. They are taking all of the Jewish people from this city. It is only a matter of time before they take us. My father told me I shouldn’t even be walking the streets in daylight. I know this is news for you because your family doesn’t ever tell you anything. And well, I am your only real friend in school.”

  Sophia crossed her arms.

  “Don’t be mad. I am scared, and I don’t want to go away. You have to believe me. I begged my father to let me be free in the woods one final time tonight before we go. He thought they might capture me, but I told him I would run away if he didn’t let me.”

  Sophia was shaking her head back and forth. “But Father told me that they were taking some of the Jewish families to a special place where they can work, to keep them safe. Is that where you are going?”

  Eli looked like he almost started crying as he squeezed her shoulders a little too tightly. She winced from the pressure. “No! Listen to me. They aren’t taking us somewhere safe; they are taking us away to die. To get rid of us! We have to run away, it’s our only chance. I won’t be able to write for a long time, but I want you to have this.” Eli reached into his pocket, just below his yellow star and pulled out a gold chain with a small round pocket watch at the end. Sophia reached for it behind her newly formed tears and opened it carefully.

  “Until then…” she read the engraved words in a whisper and looked up into Eli’s eyes.

  “My father gave it to my mother for their engagement. He always says it to her, says that he will love her forever and ever—until then.”

  “Why are you giving it to me?” She turned it over in her hand, feeling the cool gold against her palm.

  “Because, Sophia. I’ll love you forever and ever.”

  Her sobs erupted and she crumpled into his arms. “No Eli, you can’t leave. I love you.” He rocked her back and forth, letting her cry.

  When he finally pulled away, he whispered, “I will find you, just like I always do.” Two solitary tears rolled down his dirt-ridden cheeks onto his collar and he pressed his lips against hers. She leaned into him, feeling fear that this may be their first and their last kiss. She could taste the salt of their tears mixing together.

  “I will find you. I always do.” Eli stepped out into the sunlight on the street and turned to leave. “Until then...” And he took off into a race she knew she could never catch.

  * * * *

  Sophia’s father was sitting in the living room when she returned. When he looked up from polishing his boots to see her tear-streaked face, he rushed to her. The streets were getting more dangerous by the day; it seemed nothing was off the table of possibilities. A bad day no longer meant a flat tire or getting caught in the rain. Now it was filled with fear in knowing a loved one could get caught in the wicked German interrogation that had transpired more heavily over the last several months. Today was such a rarity of light and friendship and Sophia was grateful that Eli had insisted he join her in one last game of Hide and Seek before it got to be too dangerous. Most afternoons they were stopped and questioned by soldiers paroling the street looking for one person or another. It was as if they could spot Eli’s yellow star for miles and they hastily rushed to him in question of where he was headed and where had come from. Could what Eli said be true? Were they really taking them away? Why didn’t her family tell her? She felt a sudden rush of anger and confusion. Everyone tried to protect her and now she had lost the only person who ever truly loved her.

  Once, Sophia watched a young Jewish boy get beaten by the fist of a vicious officer. He had been yelling at him for several minutes when Eli and Sophia approached, demanding answers as to where his father was. When the young boy, only fourteen or fifteen couldn’t produce an answer, the tall, stout officer pulled his strong arm behind his head and whaled on the young man. He crumpled into a ball on the ground crying, a dark red pool of blood dripping from his lips. Sophia covered her eyes and Eli pulled her close to him. With their heads down, they walked quickly away. She had convinced herself they were only isolated events. Maybe the boy had done something wrong. It couldn’t possibly be because he was Jewish. How could anyone be so hateful? What did it matter anyway? They weren’t any different on the inside. That is what her mother always said. We are all the same on the inside. We all are filled with love, hope and wonder. It didn’t matter our religion, the color of our skin or how much money we had. She only whispered it to her and Adel at bedtime though, saying their father felt much differently. She said they should never let their hearts harden as his had long ago. It wasn’t until Sophia had children of her own that she realized the danger of those progressive teachings. She had never met anyone until much late
r in life that shared that view. Her mother was special and could see past all of the outward things, straight to the soul of a person long before society ever even attempted.

  Sophia’s mother had often thought about homeschooling her, believing it to be too dangerous on the streets of Munich these days. Regardless of your minding your own business, any moment could result in punishment for speaking to or associating with a Jewish person, and her mother had a strong suspicion that she still spoke to that Jewish boy often.

  * * * *

  “What is it Sophia? Why are you crying?” Her father, a stern man of small proportions, with deep blue eyes and a dense white mustache, was rarely seen without his uniform. He was profoundly proud of his various metals, shining like little pieces of jewelry along the edges of his jacket. Her mother had only suggested once that he remove it during dinner before his strong temper got the best of him and he flipped the table over on its side, the potatoes and bread rolling to every corner of the room.

  “Don’t you ever tell me to disregard my service to this country!” He bellowed and stormed out of the room. Sophia silently helped her mother collect what was left of their rations, wiped them clean in the sink, all the while pretending not to notice her solemn tears. He was a proud man, a stern man and wouldn’t be disrespected. It often pained Sophia to watch her mother cry from his anger. She regrettably watched her retreat further and further into herself over the years. Their marriage became more about service, going through the motions. Try as she might, she could never recall them laughing or exchanging a single kiss.

  “Nothing, father. I just tripped and fell down on my way home.”

  He eyed her, as he regularly did these days. It was as if he was examining her for remnants of a Jewish hug, or even worse a kiss. She swallowed hard and did her best to stand upright.

  “Did you skin your knee? Do you need a bandage?”

  “It didn’t break the skin and I brushed the dirt away. It only shook me up a bit.”

  He grunted and made his way into the kitchen for a glass of water.

  Sophia took the opportunity to run to her room, shut the door quietly behind her and land face first on her bed. It had taken every bit of strength to hide her tears from her father, but she knew if he even remotely found out—well, he would go looking for Eli. He would try and stop him or even worse. She buried her face into her pillow, compressing her screams into the cotton. She cried until the tears ran dry and her stomach ached from the shudders. There wasn’t anyone she could talk to, not even her sister. No one would understand. She loved him and would for the rest of her life. And if what Eli was saying was true… no, it couldn’t be true.

  Her father was a German officer. He would never lie. He would never let her believe he was protecting them and taking them somewhere safe when they were really going to die! It couldn’t be true.

  But Eli’s eyes, they were earnest. They were true. He had never lied to her, not once. She felt like she was going to throw up. Who could she trust?

  * * * *

  “Sophia?” Adel poked her head into her sister’s room to see her curled up on the corner of her bed.

  “Yes,” she replied, muffled by pillows.

  “Why are you crying?” Adel closed the door quietly behind her.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Adel perched herself tentatively on the edge of the bed, her expression solemn and concerned.

  “Sophia?” She placed her hand on her sister’s arm, suddenly aware she was shaking.

  “I’m fine, I promise. Just a little sad about all that is happening with all of the fighting. I can’t even be friends with my Jewish classmates anymore.”

  Adel nodded. She was over three years older than her younger sister, but she could sympathize with having once had friends of her own who were Jewish. As an adult, she was prohibited from spending time with them anymore.

  “Did something happen?”

  “I said I don’t want to talk about it!” Sophia stood suddenly and flung her pillow across the bedroom.

  “Alright.” Adel put her hands up defensively. “I was only worried about you. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

  “Well I’m not going to, so don’t even ask me again.”

  Adel raised from the bed, smoothed the wrinkles from her faded dress and made her way out of the room without another word.

  * * * *

  Sophia sat morosely through a dinner of noodles with leek and celery, her expression bitter and hardly hidden.

  “You had a nice day?” Sophia’s mother asked brightly, dipping a large ladle into the pot of soup and filling her bowl to the rim.

  “She fell down,” her father answered for her.

  “Yes, but I’m fine. Not even a scratch.” She slurped a spoonful of piping broth.

  Under the table, Herr Fett curled around her ankles.

  “Good dear. And how were your studies today?”

  “Fine.”

  “Did you learn anything new? I must say, I like that instructor of yours.”

  “There was quite a bit of commotion about the new ban of Jews from our classroom.” Sophia took another sip, pretending she had said nothing out of the ordinary.

  Her father dropped his spoon, letting the soup splash out onto the wooden table. “Sophia! Where did you get an idea like that?”

  Adel’s eyes lowered to the table, suddenly terrified for her sister.

  “It’s true, Father. There isn’t any need to hide it. I know the soldiers are keeping them from interacting with us.” Her eyes were wide and piercingly blue with the last ray of setting sun pushing through the dining window. Her chest rose and fell as she waited for his expectedly fierce answer. But she needed answers and this was the only way to get them. She was tired of being treated like a little girl.

  Her father slammed his hand on the table and stood, letting his chair fall backward onto the floor. Adel gasped. She closed her eyes when Sophia rose to her feet and put her hands on her hips. She started praying silently in her mind, terrified of him beating her like the last time. Why didn’t Sophia learn?

  “You are more than out of line. You have little knowledge of what is happening and know even less about the soldiers serving.”

  Sophia didn’t bat an eyelash. “Is that so, Father? You’re a general, and I know you!”

  That did it. Their father’s face turned a deep shade of red, and he stepped around the dinner table leaving Adel cowering in his wake. Sophia’s hands still on her hips, she closed her eyes and waited. Surely, a strong blow would knock her sideways any moment now. She squeezed her fists and scrunched up her face…but nothing. He didn’t hit her, as he did many times before when she spoke without respect.

  She opened one eye timidly and grimaced when she saw her father less than an inch from her face.

  Through a torrential spattering of saliva, he screamed into her innocent and terrified face, “Are you a Jew lover? My own daughter! How dare you come into this house and say that to a General—to your father! You will not—will not! I can’t even look at you. Go outside…but don’t you dare think about running away to that stupid Jewish boy because I will find you and when I do…I will lock you away without food like a stubborn dog and beat you. You will never be allowed in this house again with such stupidity. You know nothing! They are the dirt of the earth, and you don’t know anything you are talking about, you stupid girl! Now get out!”

  Sophia’s face, still stern with her lips pressed into a straight line, turned on her heels, looked at her mother and sister one last time and marched out into the settling darkness.

  Adel’s tears were tumbling down her cheeks, and she rushed to her mother who was trying not to cry.

  “How could you?” Her mother whimpered. “If she goes too far, she will be caught after curfew and taken in by the soldiers patrolling the streets! Anything could happen to her!”

  “Nonsense. If she is caught, they would return her to me. Every soldier kno
ws of me and my family and would never do anything to harm you. It might put a little fear in her. She won’t make it ten feet without being collected and returned home safely.” The red was loosening from his face and his teeth were no longer gritted tightly.

  “Please go after her…” Adel whispered.

  “Go to bed!” His voice boomed again and Adel ran to her room and flung the curtains open for any glimpse of her sister’s safety.

  * * * *

  The moon was only a sliver in the sky, just enough to illuminate Sophia’s path. She clung to neighboring houses and looked left, right, and then left again before jumping to the next. Her heart was beating frantically in her chest and she praised God that she traded her new sandals for her boots. Each house was starting to settle into its evening pattern and Sophia could see dishes being washed, children being tucked into beds and windows going dim as lamps were switched off. An abrasive gathering of crickets shrilled into the silence and Sophia rubbed her arms absently from the evening chill.

  She would go to Eli, she decided. She would sneak up to his house, tap on his window and say one final goodbye. That is all she needed right now—to see him one final time and to give him a sweet kiss. Their first kiss earlier in the afternoon was so abrupt, so unexpected, that she was begging for a chance to get it right.

  Gingerly, she leapt over an open sore in the road of mud and what looked like oil, before flattening against a small house. She pressed on, knowing Eli was within minutes of her.

  The wind picked up and a fine mist spewed from the night sky, splashing her skin with dense raindrops.

  “Good,” Sophia muttered and swatted the raindrops from her arm. “Cold and wet.”

  After a close call with headlights on the main road, she rounded the last and final corner to Eli’s house. She felt oddly brave, pushing all thoughts of ramifications from her mind. If God was on her side, who could be against her? Other than her father and every German officer in the country. The rain was no longer misting, now coming down in hefty splashes against the road. Every inch of her was soaked to the bone and shivering. It didn’t matter, nothing mattered but Eli. She could just barely make out the outline of his house if she squinted through the rain and she broke into a run even Eli would be proud of.