Until Then Read online

  “Slow down!” she hollered, praying he would slow his pace.

  Her eyes softened. Beyond the meadow, she could see a flowing stream, bubbling and sputtering over giant pebbles. Situated under a heavy sagging willow tree, she could see her parents. They were talking excitedly and holding hands, the breeze flowing through the willow tree. The puppy ran into Sophia’s arms and collapsed wearily. Ruby kept running, seeing her parents get closer and closer, feeling her beads of sweat beginning to trickle down her skin. Only a few steps closer, she thought and ran harder and faster, her breath jagged and irregular. Within just a few feet, she outstretched her arms, ready to collapse onto her father as the puppy did only moments ago. She closed her eyes, reached out further and…

  * * * *

  Ruby woke to the loud beeping from the bedside alarm. She could almost cry. It was only a dream. She was so close that she could see her father’s soft, telling brown eyes. She could see the way her mother’s hair curled gently at the end of each blonde strand. She flung the blanket out from under her legs and swiped away the grim tears overflowing onto her cheeks. Even dreams were painful.

  Anna was sprawled unknowingly across the bed, one dainty foot poking out from under the covers. Ruby watched her daughter sleep for a moment, remembering the details of last night’s conversation. Despite all of her present distractions, she couldn’t help but feel a little anxious for her daughter, fearful even. All in good time she would figure out what was best for her, but as so many mothers do, Ruby wanted to tell her what she was really feeling. That life is all too short to settle—that the spark really does matter. That regardless of how unsettling it is to pursue your own happiness, versus doing the right thing, it’s what you must do. Anna was so beautiful and not in the eyes of only her mother. She was stunning and turned heads everywhere she went, but it was more than that. There was strength, a curiosity, and a wildfire stirring inside her that captured the room whenever she entered. Ruby had always watched idly from the sidelines as other kids from her school, teachers, boyfriends, and just about anyone Anna encountered fell victim to her contagious spell. She had this beautiful twinkle in her blue eyes that made everyone smile.

  Ruby reached out and squeezed her daughter’s hand. “Time to wake up, Anna. Today’s the day.”

  Anna stirred restlessly in her blankets, pouting her lips as she stretched. “What time is it?”

  “Eight. I let you sleep in. Let’s get up, get ready and have some breakfast. Clearly Aunt Adel is expecting us.” Ruby stepped into the bathroom to shower and change, leaving Anna to stir in the rush of last night’s memory.

  * * * *

  Grant was waiting for them at breakfast, an oddly distant expression on his face. It seemed he barely even noticed them approaching, staring straight ahead through the windows onto the street.

  “Hey Grant, thinking awfully hard for so early in the morning.” Ruby pulled out a wicker chair and sat down next to him. She offered a pat on his knee to get his attention.

  “It’s nothing really, just thinking. Did you two have a good night last night?”

  Anna eyed Ruby, willing her to keep quiet. The last thing she needed was another opinion on the matter. “Yep! I could really get used to this traveling business. Too bad I’m not a celebrity. Kim Kardashian is in a different country every week.”

  Ruby laughed through the awkwardness.

  “You like that show? Those women are too wealthy for their own good.”

  “Yes, I love them,” Anna gushed. “And is there really such a thing as too wealthy?”

  Grant tipped the last of his coffee down his throat and smiled. “Perhaps you have a point.”

  “I must say, I really like this new Uncle Grant. You are so relaxed on this trip and pretty cool if I do say so myself. I mean, the old you would never agree with me on anything.” Anna flipped open the menu and scanned the options. A hearty breakfast was necessary with last night’s martini rumbling around inside, mixed heavily with regret. Pancakes should do it, she decided, snapping the menu shut.

  “How about you?” Ruby asked.

  “Not much to report, just the usual.”

  “Pardon me, Grant, but I am unsure that I know what your usual is anymore.”

  * * * *

  Grant peered at his sister trying to decide if she were trying to start something or sincerely interested. Interested, it seemed; her eyes large behind her glasses.

  “Ahh, not much, just the good ole’ evening fight with Liz. It wouldn’t be a night without it,” he mumbled.

  Ruby glanced sideways at Anna, who said, “Why do you guys fight so much?”

  “Anna!” snapped Ruby. “That isn’t any of our business.”

  “Oh, it’s alright, Ruby. It isn’t a big secret or anything. We haven’t gotten along for years. She’s always unhappy, not much I can do about it.”

  They sat quietly, hoping he would continue.

  “She told me she wants a divorce.” His statement floated out into the open like heavy rain escaping from a cloud.

  “And what do you want?” She rested her hand on his.

  His face tightened and he gnawed at his lower lip. He cleared his throat and retracted his hand. “What difference does it make? If someone wants out, isn’t that the only choice?”

  “Hardly! You can fight for her…that is if you want to,” Anna’s voice softened.

  “Look, this isn’t any of your problems. Forget I mentioned it...”

  Ruby shoved her glasses up the bridge of her nose pointedly. “Now you listen to me, Grant. You have two choices. You have to decide what is best for you and your life. We will do anything we can do to help, but at the end of the day, this is your fight. Fight for yourself or fight for her, but whatever you decide, we love you.”

  Grant sniffed timidly, and then pushed his chair back from the table. It was clearly too much.

  “Thanks, Ruby, but I can hardly think about anything other than today. Don’t worry about any of this. It will all work out in good time.”

  Anna leapt from her chair and squeezed him around the middle, inhaling his strong aftershave. “We love you.”

  Grant grinned clumsily and patted her on the back. “Love ya, too kid.”

  * * * *

  When their little red rental car rounded the corner on the gravel road, revealing the stone cottage with the slate roof, Anna leaned forward in between Grant and Ruby. She squinted and gasped.

  “I can see her!”

  “What? Aunt Adel? Where?” Ruby flung her seatbelt off and pressed her face to the glass.

  Anna pointed, her elbow partially in Grant’s line of vision and he swerved to the left.

  “There!”

  “Oh my God,” Grant mumbled. “It’s her.”

  When the car came to a halt, Anna practically shoved her mother out onto the driveway and scrambled past her up the path to meet her. Her heart was racing as she got closer and she broke out into a light sweat. Ruby, for once, was walking calmly behind her, put her hand on her lower back and encouraged her up the last few steps to meet Aunt Adel.

  * * * *

  There she was, rocking serenely in a weathered wooden rocking chair, her toes tapping just enough to help her catch a breeze. Ruby remarked at the obvious similarities between Adel and her mother. They could easily pass for twins, each with lax, faded blonde hair that curled naturally at the tips. Their eyes, the same china doll blue as Anna’s, creased in exactly the same corners and pencil-thin lips with drawn-on liner to enhance them. She was exactly as she had imagined her. Adel broke into a wide grin and extended her arms, thin, but made pliable with age. She didn’t speak; she didn’t stand, but simply extended her arms to hold her long lost family.

  Ruby was the first to step forward, bending at the waist and she started to cry softly as she collapsed into her awaiting arms. Anna took a step back, hasty before, but now in full sentience that this moment was meant for her mother.

  * * * *

  Grant felt his own
tears brimming watching his sister hold this woman as she would their own mother. No one had spoken, but he realized the silence was the only thing that would do this moment justice. Adel motioned for him to come forward as well and he hunched over, allowing her to place her weathered hands on his cheeks and stare deeply into his eyes.

  It was only then that she said her first words, “It is as if I am staring into Eli’s eyes.” A quiet sob caught in his throat. Her accent was strongly German. He let her linger, holding him that way. Every barrier, every fear and every regret broke down into unbearable swell of humbleness.

  “Help me up won’t you?” Her sweet smile erupted.

  Grant slid an arm under hers and around her back and hoisted her up to meet him. She was much frailer than she initially appeared. She wobbled a bit on her first step before breaking into a timid, but loose stride. She made her way through the wooden front door into the cottage and Anna reached for her mother’s hand as they followed her.

  The main living area was filled with over a dozen hand-sewn quilts tilted and thrown about over every piece of furniture. They were lovely and colorful; unlike any quilt they had ever seen. Silken threads were woven through each patch, embossing the quilt with a sense of royalty and wealth. Adel moved throughout the room shoving them aside and pushing the quilts to the floor.

  “You don’t have to do that. We can move them for you. Would you like me to fold them?” Ruby asked.

  “The floor is as good a place as any. I am making them for the town fundraiser.” Adel huffed and plopped down into her rocking chair near the brick fireplace. “I’d offer you cookies, but I didn’t bake any.”

  Anna laughed nervously.

  “You come here.” Adel motioned for Anna to join her. “I haven’t looked at you just yet.”

  Anna crossed the room and sat down cross-legged on the floor next to her. “I’m Anna, Ruby’s daughter.” She beamed up at Adel. “It is so surreal meeting you. I never thought we would find you.”

  “You are a pretty young thing.” Adel tilted Anna’s chin up to meet her eyes. “So beautiful.”

  Anna blushed and said, “I must get it from you.”

  “Oh child, don’t be foolish. I look like a bag of soiled potatoes,” she said, making Anna laugh again.

  Adel looked up and around the room before reaching to the small table beside her to find her glasses. “That’s better.” She blinked heavily and smiled at Ruby.

  “Thank you so much for having us into your home,” Ruby said.

  “Nonsense. I have been waiting for you for the last several weeks, well for that matter, the last fifty years or so. It is as though tiny pieces of my heart were fluttering around the world. I have been lost without you.” She clasped her hands in her lap and tapped her toes to rock gently.

  “May I ask?” Anna rested a hand on Adel’s, still seated beside her.

  “What child?”

  “How come we never knew anything about you? Why have you been waiting for us, and we didn’t even have a clue? How come my grandparents kept you hidden from us?”

  Adel smiled once more, deeply seated laughter lines dimpling her cheeks. She closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair for a moment before replying, “That is a complicated answer, Anna. One I couldn’t possibly explain.”

  “Won’t you try? That is what Grandpa Eli wanted. He wanted us to know everything.”

  Adel tightened her grip on Anna’s petite hand and sighed. “I know, my child. I have known that for years. He is asking quite a large favor of me.” She pointed her arthritic finger to the sky. “So I have to try, right? I am sure this is all a great shock to each of you. And I understand if you are resentful, nervous, or fearful. But rest in the fact that your father and grandfather loved my sister endlessly. She was his most prized possession.”

  Grant nodded. “We always thought so.”

  “Other than you all of course,” Adel said. “It’s just such a history, such a tragedy that he couldn’t bear tell you. I was their secret, the only person in the world that knew what happened. Perhaps they understood it was best to leave me out of it.”

  Anna furrowed her brow. “Didn’t that break your heart?”

  “Immensely. But you see, they didn’t ask me to stay away.”

  “Oh?” Ruby asked.

  “No dear, they wanted me in your lives very much, especially when you were born, Ruby. But I refused. I wanted their secret safe. I wanted a new life for my sister and for Eli. They deserved it more than anyone. And we still wrote to one another, exchanged photos. I sent them hundreds of pictures of my son over the years.”

  “We have a cousin?” Grant asked.

  “Three.” Adel smiled. “And four great nieces.”

  Grant and Ruby exchanged a glance of confusion. This all had to be a dream. How was it that an entire life was tucked away in their parent’s back pocket?

  “I see those looks, and I know what you are thinking. Don’t be mad at them. I did this. I chose to let them start over and never live in fear again. And how beautiful their lives became.”

  Anna nodded. “I understand. Well, not really.”

  Adel pointed to the kitchen. “Go get us some tea and I will tell you everything I know. Fair enough?” Anna’s eyes widened and she sprung to her feet.

  “Are you sure you are okay to tell us everything?” Grant asked.

  “Do I have a choice?” She squinted and pointed to the sky once more. “If I had it my way, I would have let your parents fly away to be with the Lord and never think about those days again. But a promise is a promise.”

  * * * *

  Her German accent was so strong that Ruby found it hard to catch every word, but she admired her strength. She took a deep breath and let her story resonate into her soul...

  Fall 1938

  “Hurry! We are almost there!” Eli was running so fast, so hard that if Sophia even wanted to catch up, she wouldn’t be able to. He had those long legs, and he loved running. She tried to focus on her breathing and pump her arms. Her knees were aching and her shins were forming abysmal splints.

  “Slow down!” she called back, but she knew that he couldn’t hear her. He was too focused. She wiped the beads of perspiration from her brow and stopped dead in her tracks. She spotted a nice flat rock under a willow tree and decided to stay. He would eventually realize he’d lost her and would return to collect her. It was a little game they played. He never went further than he had to without her.

  She could hear voices nearing in on her. She sucked in a gulp of air and curled up under the tree. They wouldn’t find her, not if she could help it. One toe was poking out from under the low-bearing branches and small leaf from a nearby tree floated down precisely to cover it. She laughed to herself and pulled her knees up to her chest. The voices were getting closer. She regained focus and let her stare sway from side to side, begging for a glimpse of whoever was drawing nearer.

  They were laughing, she noticed, and not very quietly. They were clearly new at this. She wrapped her arms around her knees a little tighter and blew quietly at a bug wavering in her face.

  Any second now.

  Suddenly, an arm reached through the low hanging branches and ripped her from her hiding spot. She wanted to scream, but he clasped a hand over her mouth and pulled her. It was Eli. He had, in fact, come back for her.

  He gave her a stern expression and pointed toward the path. “Run,” he whispered and then broke out into the devastatingly handsome grin with the most kissable dimples.

  She followed suit and together they tore through the trees, sticks and branches slashing at her ankles until they reached the clearing and the sun warmed her bones.

  Eli was out of breath, his cheeks flushed ruby red. “Why did you stop?” he panted.

  “You were going too fast!” She put her hands on her hips and frowned. “How did you know where I was?”

  “I could see your little toe poking out.” He laughed and pointed to her sandal.

  The sun
was lazy and the afternoon heat was comforting. Although winter would be here shortly, these last glimpses of summer were all they had to hold on to. Before they would have a chance to realize it, the harsh snow storms and freezing temperatures would have them locked away in their parent’s houses helping with their usual chores. Sophia cherished these times.

  “Found you,” an overbearing voice bellowed from within the trees. Sophia gasped, put a hand to her forehead in shock and crumpled to the ground. Eli broke out laughing.

  “No!” he said. “We’re safe. We said to the end of the forest. Too little, too late.” He held out a hand for Sophia, who was lying flat on her back, eyes closed. “Come on pretty girl, time to take you home.”

  She accepted his hand, happy to hold it if only for a moment. He pulled her to her feet, and she brushed her dress free of debris and dirt.

  “Bye for now.” Eli saluted his friends and they made their way down the path toward the street. But Eli didn’t release Sophia’s hand, not just yet. They walked side by side, weaving their fingers tighter together. Sophia could hardly contain the smile stretching across her innocent face.

  “Sandals are new?” Eli blushed, as he tried to make conversation.

  “Yes.” Sophia glanced down at her toes. “My mother made them out of my father’s old belt. Leather is rare, you know.”

  Eli nodded, even though he had no idea about the recent demand for leather. It didn’t matter to him. He’d never seen her feet before and he couldn’t help but notice how petite and feminine they were. Most girls her age only wore heels or boots.

  “Your mother did a nice job.” He made an effort to continue the conversation, ever aware of their hands pressed together.

  He had only held her hand one other time. They had been walking home from school, side by side as usual, a week prior. Eli was carrying their books and could not reach a hand up behind his head in time to stop the large pebble from slamming against it.