Until Then Read online

  When she crept up along the backside of the house, she paused when she realized all of the lights were out. Maybe they were sleeping?

  She prayed out loud, almost breaking down into tears, “Please, please tell me you haven’t left yet. Please, please tell me, I’m not too late!”

  Her boots squished in the mud and she timidly approached the two-bedroom brick home with black shutters. It dawned on her that she very well may wake the whole house by tapping quietly on his window. After all, Eli’s brother shared the same sleeping room, he had once told her. His window was on the front corner of the house, facing the street. This would be the most cumbersome part of her journey, but she’d made it this far. With the rain now soaking through to her wool socks, she could hear the sound of her toes squishing in her boots. Like a cat on a wire, she perched up on her hind legs and made minute steps, her back still flat against the brick. When she finally reached the corner, she let out a sigh of relief, glanced up toward the window and gasped.

  She stood frozen, paralyzed against the house at the sight of broken glass all over the front lawn. She stepped out a bit further to see the whole front of the house, only to find every window and the front door had been kicked in and broken to pieces. She staggered up the porch steps, negating her tears, no longer afraid. It didn’t matter if anyone found her; the worst possible discovery had been made. Eli and his family were gone.

  * * * *

  Sophia sat in the corner of Eli’s bedroom, amongst the ransacked house, for hours; her shoulders rising and falling to the rhythm of her sobs. How had this happened? Who would do such a thing? And even worse, how did they even know that his family was planning on leaving? For a brief moment, she prayed that Eli had escaped before they burst into their home, but then she noticed their suitcases stacked neatly in the living area. They were minutes from their escape when German officers plunged their way into their home and ripped them from their only chance at freedom. They were more than likely taken to one of those slave camps she had heard about and forced to work night and day. She shuddered at the memory of her conversation with Eli, only hours earlier…

  “They aren’t taking us somewhere safe; they are taking us away to die. To get rid of us! We have to run away; it is our only chance.”

  She reached into her pocket and withdrew the gold pocket watch. The inscription was a blur through her swollen eyes, but it was there just the same. He would love her forever and ever, that was his promise. What was she supposed to do know? Go back home? Tell her father she was in love with him and the officers stole him away in the night? He would strike her, punish her endlessly. She couldn’t deny it. She would rather die that deny how deeply she loved Eli.

  She rose to her feet and stepped over broken glass from shattered picture frames. A small oval frame tucked away in the corner caught her eye. It was Eli. She tiptoed across the room, feeling very much like a burglar, an intruder in a home she had never once set foot inside. She crouched down and pulled the little frame to her heart. He was so handsome with those endearing brown eyes. If she pressed her eyes closed, she could feel him sitting in front of her, brushing a loose tendril from her somber face and whispering, “Everything is going to be fine, Sophia. We have our love and that will get us through.”

  She removed the photo from the frame, folded it carefully and tucked it in her dress pocket. Opening the watch once more, everything became crystal clear. If it was the last thing she did on this earth, she had to find him. She had to help him. She snapped it closed, realizing that Until Then…was now.

  * * * *

  Sophia tiptoed back down the front steps to the street. In having no idea which direction she should take, she went straight across the street. Her feet firmly on the road, she began to move.

  “Psst…” came a whisper from the unknown.

  She spun around, scanning the windows. She couldn’t see anyone in the pitch black.

  “Psst…” the voice said again.

  “Who’s there?” She tiptoed back toward the house to get out of plain sight.

  Crawling out from behind an old wooden shed, a man moved through the night toward her. She froze, praying he could no longer see her. Too late, he was moving at a quick pace in her direction.

  “Don’t move,” he said. “I’m coming to you.”

  She tucked herself back onto the porch, trembling with fear. His silhouette was tall and wide. She could see how strong his forearms were even before his face came into view. His eyes were glowing in the moonlight and his expression was grim. He towered over her by nearly two feet and walked straight past her back into the house. Unwilling to run, she followed suit.

  “Who are you?” she whispered. Her voice came out dry and shaky, betraying her.

  “That doesn’t matter,” he said.

  “What do you want?”

  He sat down on the floor to hide from the windows and motioned for her to do the same. She quickly collapsed to her knees.

  “This conversation never happened, do you hear me?”

  She nodded in the darkness.

  “This was a good family, dear friends of mine. They were taken from their home tonight and for no good reason.” She couldn’t fully make out the features on his face, as shadows played and created more of an outline.

  “Where did they go?” She bit her lip, trying to contain her fears.

  “It isn’t going to do you any good to go after them. If you do, they will catch you and more than likely imprison you or maybe…”

  “I don’t care.” She puffed up her chest. “I am in love with Eli and I will do whatever it takes to find him.”

  The man groaned, as if to defy the true power of teenage love. “Love or not, I don’t think you’re willing to die for him.”

  “Then why did you stop me? If you aren’t going to help me? I need to find him. And maybe I am. Willing to…die for him.”

  Silence.

  “Sir?” She hated that her voice sounded pleading and weak, like a girl far younger than she.

  “Fine.” She could see his fists tighten into constricted holds. “I heard one of the officers say that they were taking them to Dachau.”

  “Dachau,” she repeated. She had heard her father speak of that camp before. He said it was a safe place for them to work without burden. Something about munitions.

  “You can’t go alone.” He inched closer to her on the floor. “A girl like you will die, I am sure of it. And besides, it is over sixteen kilometers from here. It would take you days to get there.”

  “Can you tell me where it is?” Her voice no longer sounded weak, but rather impermeable.

  She could see a look of inquisition, of shock, pour across this large man’s eyes. Perhaps he would go with her? He couldn’t let a young girl go this alone. But she was too strong to ask, it would have to be voluntary.

  He stood quickly, muttered vague directions to the camp and then made his way back into the night, leaving Sophia’s eyes wide with fear. He left her. She would often look back on this man and wonder if someone in the Heavens had sent him down to help her. Without him, she would have never made it.

  She would have to move at night, there wasn’t any question about that. If she left now, her father would no doubt send his comrades on a mission to find her. She would return home, speak from a place of apology, and when they were safely tucked in bed, she would leave once more. It was a safe plan, she reasoned with herself, sneaking back out into the cool night air. The rain had halted, a minor miracle.

  When she returned home, she straightened her dress, smoothed her hair and pinched her cheeks for a flush of red to return to them. She opened the door and found her father sitting in a chair waiting. He was gazing out of the window and refused to acknowledge her return. She walked past him timidly, her chin tucked into her chest.

  “I am truly sorry for questioning you and speaking out of disrespect. Please forgive me.”

  He grunted.

  “Good night, Father,” she said.
r />   He grunted again. She knew she had made the right choice.

  She poked her head into Adel’s room and her sister rushed toward her. “Where have you been? I was so worried. I thought someone had taken you.”

  “I’m fine,” she whispered. “I just went for a walk and got caught in the rain.”

  “You poor thing!” Adel ran her hands along Sophia’s hair. “Well, you’re safe now. Let’s get you dry and get you some sleep.”

  “Listen, Adel. Something is going to happen tonight—something that might scare you. Please know that I will be fine…and most importantly that I will always love you.”

  Adel’s eyes were riddled with fear. “Are you leaving again?”

  Sophia put her finger to her lips, “Shh…” She wrapped her arms around her sister, blinking back the tears. Adel held on so tightly that Sophia winced under the pressure.

  “Please don’t leave. Or you could take me with you? I am so afraid for you.”

  “You needn’t be afraid. I’ll be safe and I’ll be in touch as soon as I can, I promise. I love you.”

  * * * *

  When the house had fallen into a deep slumber, Sophia pulled her covers down from under her chin. Adel, who refused to leave her room, was tucked under covers in a mound on the floor. She sucked in a gulp of air and sat up when she saw Sophia’s outline begin to move.

  “Sophia, please?”

  Sophia didn’t respond. Instead, she snuck past her into the hall and tiptoed to her parent’s room. She could make out the gruff sounds of her father’s snoring and held her breath. Poised on the balls of her feet, she slid silently across the wooden floor until she reached a small, bronze hook where her father’s most prized possession hung neatly…his uniform. A quick glance back to their bed to be sure and she ripped it from the wall and backed quickly from the room.

  She wasted no time stripping from her pajamas. She cringed as she slid one leg on after the other in the thick grey pants. Her hands were shaking feverishly as she collapsed each button into its hole and then slid the wide, leather belt up to cinch her torso. She had already spent a great deal of time pinning her hair flat against her head before she lay down and now it tucked effortlessly up under her father’s hat. From the floor, Adel sat awestruck, quivering with fear. If their father woke up! She buried her head in her hands, refusing to picture what he would do to her. The final piece to her uniform was her boots, or rather his. She stepped into them and almost broke down crying when she realized they were too big. While her father was a relatively small man, making the uniform an eerily perfect fit, the boots simply wouldn’t work. She pulled her foot back out and angrily stepped into her own boots. If any officer dare glance at her feet, she would done for.

  “Well?” she whispered.

  Adel let out a soft sob.

  “Do I look okay?” Sophia grimaced at her sister.

  She nodded in return.

  Sophia crouched down beside her and hugged her fiercely. “This is going to work.”

  Adel nodded again, large tears enveloping her blue eyes. “I’ll wait up for you.”

  Sophia perched at the door to look back at her sister one last time, knowing she would never return. She didn’t have the heart to tell her. Instead, she whispered, “Be strong.” and made a run for it, her father’s medals clanking against her chest.

  One foot in front of the other, that was all she could focus on. Her boots, still not dry from earlier started to rub blisters on the heels of her feet. She labored her breathing, counting each breath to establish a rhythm. One…two…three. She stopped only once, to tuck a pin further under her hat and pressed on. She felt like the reckless French Polynesians her father had once told her about. Her father used to tell her stories, not to spend quality time or to entertain her and Adel, but rather to teach them lessons. He told them of the inhabitants who oriented themselves with the wind, the stars and the heavens. It was their senses that guided them from one island to another. Sophia was mesmerized by the idea, begging for more stories about the listless seekers of land, but their father slammed his fist on the table.

  “I am not telling you this to create a romantic idea of roaming free. My point is that there are people in this world, floating around with little regard to direction. You must have a plan, Sophia. You must know where you are going and how you are going to get there. Don’t be foolish. I didn’t get to be a general by blowing with the wind!”

  “Yes, father,” Sophia said, in a small and terrified voice.

  Running blindly, following her own set of stars, Sophia grinned widely.

  * * * *

  When her legs tired and the cold settled into her bones, she collapsed under a large tree to rest. She only intended to let her legs regain strength, knowing she had run at least five or six miles in the past couple of hours. She cursed herself for not stealing her father’s canteen. By silver moonlight, she pulled her father’s identification papers from his inside pocket, her hands shaking violently from the cold. With any luck, she would only have to flash them quickly. She drew her knees into her chest and rested her head. The cap was squishing her ears and rubbing raw against the back of her head. She could never imagine wearing this imprudent thing every day. She thought briefly about practicing her most masculine voice, but decided instead it would be better naturally in the moment. She would just rest her legs a moment longer in the thick brushes of this forest. A moment longer.

  * * * *

  The sun broke, slicing the night sky like battle rockets streaming in the distance. One ray, then another and a chipper bird’s morning song broke into Sophia’s dreams. Her eyes sprung open and she leapt to her feet, shamed by her lack of control. This wouldn’t have happened to a real soldier. How was she supposed to move by day? She spun around in a large circle, scanning the perimeter. She allowed herself a few steps further into woods to the sound of a bubbling creek and knelt down to cup putrid water into her mouth. She squinted in the sun and shielded her eyes. She had to think quickly. She could walk to the edge of this forest, but there was chance, a grave chance, that she might run into fellow soldiers. She wasn’t prepared to meet them in the woods, but rather at the camp. She didn’t have a plausible excuse as to why she was traveling alone.

  A branch cracked near her head and a rascally squirrel shimmied down a large tree.

  “Stop that,” she snapped at the wide-eyed squirrel. He froze, peering at her anxiously.

  Another branch broke, this time further in the distance. The squirrel jumped wide to the next branch, and she realized she too, should hide. Someone was coming. She could hear their voices. She dove underbrush several feet away and did her best to disguise her boots with leaves, before lying perfectly still. She was paralyzed with fear. With each sounding footstep, her heart raced faster and she wanted so badly to cry. She closed her eyes and allowed herself the only escape she could conjure in her mind; Eli’s hand broke through the leaves, embraced her and pulled her near him. Together, they ran and ran until freedom was the only choice. She couldn’t even move to wipe her tears.

  They were within inches of passing her now. They were laughing, goofing off in pure pleasure.

  “And I…well you know what I did to her.”

  “Gave it to her good, did ya?”

  Laughter.

  “I didn’t have a choice. She was all nervous and scared after her husband was shot. I was just comforting her. Civic duty.”

  “Even I think you’re an old dog. She didn’t even see you coming.”

  “Nah.” Their boots crunched loudly. “She liked it.”

  Sophia pressed her eyes closed tightly. She didn’t exhale.

  “What was that?”

  She could hear their feet moving, most likely in circles searching around them.

  Oh God, Oh God, she prayed to herself. What did they hear?

  “Didn’t you hear something?”

  “Probably a stupid bird or a squirrel or something. You need to relax.”

  “I be
t it’s your girl, coming back for you, begging for more!”

  She wanted to let her breath out slowly, but she held it, feeling her cheeks turn blue.

  “Get out of here.”

  The leaves rustled around them and she could make out the crunch of their boots moving further and further away.

  * * * *

  Sophia stayed under those leaves until nightfall. She refused to move, imagining the soldiers waiting anxiously to rape her as they did that poor widow. Still as possible, she let her stomach grumble from a gnawing hunger and relenting nerves. She couldn’t even fall asleep; horrified she might roll to one side or the other, letting the leaves slip from her disguise.

  When a timid crescent moon peeped from behind silver-lined clouds, Sophia finally allowed herself to rise from the brush. Her knees were locked into place and she groaned as she stood to her feet. She let her exhausted eyes scan the boundary once more, in search of any movement in the darkness. As far as she could see, she was free to move. Another scoop of muddy creek water in her mouth and she was on her way.

  Running through the forest this evening wasn’t nearly as glorifying or refreshing as the last. She forced one shaky leg in front of the other, her bones weak and starting to tremor. She tried to clear her mind and envision her next move. It was obvious she could no longer continue without food and she was starting to see the flicker of town lights just ahead. It was now or never in trying on her new role as a general. She had to find confidence, try her masculine voice on for size and if she didn’t believe in herself, certainly no one would. The last stretch of her run was downhill and she felt blessed for the first time on this unnerving journey.

  She sidled up next to a rundown farmhouse on the edge of the war-torn town. The lights were dim, mostly candlelight, but it was clear there were people inside. Sliding up under the window ledge, she could peer inside. If anyone inside were to look her way, her hat would surely betray her in sight, but she refused to take it off. It was too risky. No one would ever believe her to be true if they caught a glimpse of her mangled blonde hair tucked beneath. She held her breath.