Backroads Read online

  She stills on top of me, looking stunned. Her eyes search mine. She’s not ready to hear those words from me.

  “I love you too, Chase.” Her lips meet mine, our teeth clashing trying to show each other everything through our kiss.

  “Fuck, I love you.” I have to say it again and again, for all the times I held back.

  She scrambles off my lap, and I try to follow her. But she is wiggling out of her shorts. I take the hint and unbutton my pants.

  I barely get to stand to drop them to my ankles when she pushes me back down and climbs into my lap again. “I want you fast and hard. We can go slow later. I need you now,” she tells me between kisses. Rising up to align my cock at her entrance, she lowers herself onto me.

  “Fuck.” She barely gets the tip in when she raises up before pushing down again. I can feel her wetness running down my length while her pussy grips my cock tighter than ever.

  She takes her time working down my cock, moaning into my mouth the deeper I’m seated in her. “You feel so good, baby.” It’s all I can say before she starts to rock her body.

  “Chase,” she whimpers.

  I know that sound. Neither of us is going to last long. I grab her hips to hold her and pound into her from the bottom.

  “Chase,” she moans again. Her hands grip my shoulders, holding on tighter with each thrust. “I’m. Going. To. Come,” she pants, her core squeezing me through her orgasm. It takes everything in me not to come with her.

  Her breathing slows against my skin. “Don’t move yet... just wait a second,” I plead, still sitting on the edge of my release.

  Thirty seconds go by before I’m able to move again. I love making this woman come on my cock. The next best thing is when she comes on my tongue.

  I pull her off me and push her down on the couch, spreading her wide. Her thighs are glistening from her arousal. I don’t hesitate—my tongue finds her clit, and I drink in her sweetness.

  “Shit,” she pants. I could spend the day licking her to orgasm, one right after the other. Her legs tighten around my head the closer I get her to coming again. Sucking harder and flicking my tongue faster on her clit, I plunge two fingers into her. “Chase... stop. I want you,” she pleads, pushing my head away.

  I let her catch her breath while I fist my aching cock. She nods, letting me know she wants me to continue. I don’t disappoint and slide into her again. “I love you, Princess.”

  She pulls me down to kiss her. “I love you, Chase.”

  I make love to the woman who holds my heart.

  I watch Chase through the glass shower door as he takes a shower—something I enjoy every day.

  “I got you something to remember me this weekend.” That’s not completely true. I got it for him, but now it will be to remember me all weekend. I place it on the counter in the bathroom for when he gets out of the shower.

  “A present?”

  “Hurry up so you can see.” I run back into the bedroom to dress and finish packing. I need to leave soon.

  The water turns off, and I hear the glass door slide open. My insides feel squeamish wondering how he will take it.

  I thought he would maybe open it in the bathroom, but he is soon filling the doorway in nothing but a towel and a smile. “So what is this?” He holds up the wrapped present.

  My eyes drink in the water still dripping down his body before I reply, “Open it and find out.”

  He rips the paper, crumpling it and letting it drop to the floor. My heart is beating fast waiting for him to say something.

  He swallows hard, staring at the picture framed in his hands. It’s the picture of us that Beth took. “Baby, this is... this is the best present anyone has ever gotten me.” He crosses the room and scoops me up in his arms, twirling us in a circle and getting my clothes damp. “But it’s going to make me miss you so much more.”

  “I know. But it’s a quick trip, and I’ll be back soon.” I place a chaste kiss on his lips.

  He places me on the bed, and I can see the wicked gleam in his eyes. “No, we don’t have time.”

  “But baby, you’re going to be gone so long.”

  “I know, and just think of my welcome home.” I get up and push him out of the way.

  He growls his disapproval. “So what are you two going to be up to this weekend? Singing and playing music?”

  Crap. I still need to tell him. “Ahh, well, we are actually going to Chicago for the weekend.”

  His entire demeanor shifts. “Chicago? Why?”

  I had planned on telling him everything last night, but after he opened up, I forgot about it and focused on him. But I don’t want to lie to him. “We’re going to look for the ring.” I cringe, waiting for his reaction.

  He breathes in deep several times, his whole chest heaving. “Holly.” He has to set the picture down on the bed his hands are shaking so hard. “Why didn’t you tell me what you were doing? I should be going with you.”

  Wrapping my arms around his waist, I lay my head on his pecs. His arms hang by his side, not touching me. “I didn’t want to upset you. Alexis and I are going to look for the ring and prepare the rest of my things to be moved here.”

  “Upset. I’m not upset. I’m disappointed.” Finally his arms envelop me. “I’m supposed to be here for you for this kind of thing. I’m supposed to protect you. I can’t do that while I’m here and that fucking asshole is there. What if he tries to contact you? I should be going with you. I should be there.” His arms get tighter and tighter around me.

  I try to calm him, rubbing my arms up and down his back. “He’s not going to contact me.” I tell him everything that’s happened the last couple of days that we haven’t had time to talk about. “Alexis will be with me. When it’s found, we hand it over to the lawyers. I won’t have to see him. This will be simple.”

  “And what if you don’t find it?”

  “It has to be there. It’s where I threw it. Please don’t be mad. I’m sure Alexis will have security with her. This could all be done with by tonight. Find the ring, set up a moving company, and spend the rest of the weekend holed up in the hotel suite with Alexis, binge-eating and watching movies.”

  “Fuck!” I flinch at his outburst. His muscles are flexed and hard. He grips me tighter.

  “It will all be okay. Look at me.” I look up, pleading with him to calm down. His eyes are a fiery blaze of emotions. “I love you, Chase. The only way we can build our future is if I put my past behind me. This needs to happen.”

  “I feel helpless if I stay here.” I see the desperation in his eyes, and I understand what he’s saying to me. He wants to walk through this with me by my side. Protect me.

  He tangles his fingers in my hair, angling my face to his. “I love you, Princess. I want to be the guy that can fix anything for you. I want to be there in case you need rescuing.”

  “Chase, don’t you know you rescued me a long time ago?” I pull him down to kiss his doubts away.

  When our lips touch, everything inside me is set on fire as we try to show each how much we mean to one another. I love this man fiercely.

  He flips me on my back and covers me, his hand playing with my hair. “I’m worried about this weekend. About you. I don’t like this. I wish you would have told me sooner.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “We’re a couple, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “From now on we do things as one. We need to be able to talk to each other.” His breathing is shaky.

  I caress his cheek, and he turns to kiss my hand. “I want the same things. I should have found a way to tell you. Are we... going to be okay?”

  His eyes soften. “Yeah, baby. We’re going to be okay, as long as you come back to me. Otherwise I’m coming to you.”

  I laugh at how serious he is. “I might like you coming after me.”

  “If I have to come after you, I’ll be throwing you over my shoulder, going caveman on you.” He tickles my sides, causing me to throw my
head back.

  “Stop! I need to rush now as it is. And you need to get going. Isn’t Joe going to be here soon?” I push him out of the way to go to the bathroom.

  When I come back out, he is finishing dressing. My heart aches thinking of being away from him.

  “Come here. I want to hold you one more time before I head out.” He sits on the bed and motions for me to climb in his lap. I wrap my limbs around him and hold on tight.

  “I love you, Princess. Keep me informed of what’s happening. And I love my gift. The way you look at me, like in that picture, I know I found the one.”

  “There you go again, saying something sweet.” I smile and kiss him. “Have you forgiven me?”

  I see him clench his jaw. “You’re probably right about me not needing to go. Besides, I still want to hunt him down and punch him for what he did to you. It would be too easy being in the same city. Yes, I forgive you.”

  I kiss him again. “I love you. After this weekend, it’s nothing but our future.”

  “Mmm, our future. I like that.”

  I have to get going, and so does he. “Okay, kiss me one more time and leave me, otherwise I’ll never finish getting ready.”

  He kisses me long and hard before pulling away. “I love you, Princess.”

  “I love you, Chase.”

  He gets up and playfully smacks my backside before leaving me alone.

  I make sure everything is in my suitcase. I know if I forget anything, I have a storage unit full of clothes waiting for me.

  The picture of us in the frame is on the bed. I want him to see it when he walks in tonight.

  I carry it to the front room and place it on the mantle over the fireplace. Smiling at how cute I think we look, I almost miss the piece of paper lying down.

  I pick it up and flip it over. It’s picture of another couple smiling at one another. The guy has his head thrown back with big dimples on his smooth face. You can’t miss her impressive wedding ring sparkling on her finger. Her hand covers his, resting on her slightly plump tummy.

  My stomach drops the longer I study the picture.

  His hair is cut short and his face is shaved clean, but the man in the picture is Chase. My Chase. With a pregnant wife.

  I can’t breathe, seeing him with another woman.

  Was everything he said to me a lie?

  Bile rises in the back of my throat, and sweat prickles at the nape of my neck. I’m going to be sick. I barely make it to the bathroom before my stomach empties itself in the toilet.

  My Chase has a wife? And a child out there. Did he walk away from them?

  My stomach clenches again, and anything that was left comes out.

  “Holly, are you ready to go?” Linda calls from the living room.

  I heave again.

  “Oh shit,” Linda says from the doorway.

  I can’t hold back my tears. Ugly strangled sobs come out.

  “It’s okay, it’s okay,” she soothes. “Do you want me to go get Chase?”

  I wail louder. The person I want the most is now the person I want to see the least.

  “No. Never. Again,” I hiccup.

  She sits back. “What happened?”

  I throw the picture at her and hang my head over the toilet, dry heaving.

  “I don’t understand. Who is this?” The moment she sees what I did, her face changes to disbelief. “No. No. He can’t. He wouldn’t.”

  I wipe my mouth with a piece of toilet paper. “He can, and he did. Fucking lying asshole.”

  It makes me sick to think of all the times he touched me with a wife out there.

  After dry heaving again, my body begins to relax.

  “Holly, honey. I’m so sorry. I swear I didn’t know. Maybe there’s an explanation? I would have never...” She isn’t speaking in full sentences. She’s just as confused as I am.

  I’ve been here before. I can do this. I’m stronger than this.

  I pull myself off the floor to the sink. I need to stop crying. He’s not worth my tears.

  He may not be worth them, but I know there’s no stopping this hurt. Not for a long time. I finally knew what it felt like to have someone be my everything. It felt real. Only to find it was all a lie. All of it. Again.

  I wipe my face clean and brush my teeth. I need to get on that plane for more than one reason now. I need to get out of here.

  “Holly, are you going to be okay to travel? We can change your flight if you want,” Linda offers, still looking at the picture while shaking her head. “I thought I knew him.”

  That makes two of us. “I won’t change my flight. I’m leaving today. I might not be coming back though.”

  “What?” she exclaims. “Holly, no, sweetie. This is your home now. If anyone is going to go, it’s him. I won’t tolerate what he’s done to you. He’s fired, gone.”

  “I can’t come back, Linda.” So many memories of him and me all over this ranch stream though my mind. It would hurt too much to remember them every day. “No, I just can’t.”

  “What will you do?”

  “I’m going to find that stupid fucking ring. Swear off men for good this time. And hope Alexis will take me with her.” It was all I could come up with thinking fast. Fuck men.

  “And what about...?” She motions to my stomach.

  “I’ll be fine. I was caught off guard is all.” I felt better already with my mind made up.

  “You don’t think it was a different reason?”

  “Stop. I don’t have enough in me to think about that right now.” All I can see when I close my eyes is Chase, then the Chase holding another woman.

  She holds her hands up in surrender. “Okay. We need to get going. Are you ready?”

  I glance around the bathroom, then head to the bedroom where my carry-on sits on the bed. I should be taking this all with me now, but it can be left behind. None of it matters.

  “I’m ready,” I call, setting the bag on the floor.

  Linda comes out of the bathroom holding up two of the tests in her hand she had taken out of their boxes. She walks over to my bag to put them in the front zipper. “Just in case you find you need one.”

  “Let’s go. I can’t be here any longer.”

  For the second time in my life, I find myself homeless because of a man, with no prospects of what my future has in store.

  Working with Joe all day has kept my mind somewhat off Holly.

  I was pissed when she told me where she was going and why. I didn’t like the idea of her being in the same city as her asshole ex. She was right though; if I went with, I would be hunting him down.

  When did I become such a pussy I couldn’t go a weekend without my girlfriend?

  I spent years alone on the road, sleeping under bridges. I could make it through the weekend without hitching a ride on a plane behind her.

  That had been a thought most of the morning.

  I think she would be pissed if I showed up suddenly. We don’t need to fight over this again.

  “Do you want to stay for supper tonight? Linda is a great cook.” I offer to Joe, wondering how Beth will twist this situation to her advantage.

  “Sure, that sounds better than what I had planned. Probably a frozen dinner in front of the television alone.” He chuckles. “Sometimes you get so used to being alone, you forget what you’ve been missing all along.”

  He has no idea how much I know that’s true. I’ve had more than my fair share of experience with that.

  “Good. I know Linda wants to get to know you more, and Beth too. Twenty years between them, but you wouldn’t know it.”

  “How did such a young thing like Beth end up here?”

  “From what I remember of what they told me, she answered a wanted ad at the grocery store for house cleaner. She got here and took over so much more.” I give him the short version, knowing the girls will fill him in later.

  “Wish your girl was going to be here. I’d like to meet her after all the teasing the boys have given
you.”

  So much for keeping her off my mind. Two days. I could make it two days. “You’ll meet her soon enough. She’s the one for me.” Saying that to Holly is one thing; saying it to Joe is another. But it’s true. She is the one for me.

  He laughs. “Ah, young love. I felt that way about my wife too from the moment I set eyes on her. You gonna marry her?”

  I run my hands through my hair nervously. I’ve thought about it but never wanted to bring it up with her ex fucking everything up. I wanted to give her time to forget the past bad experience. “If she’ll have me, yes. I’d be happy living my life in sin too.”

  “After my wife passed, I never found another woman I wanted to fight with.”

  “To fight with? You mean to fight for?”

  “No, to fight with. If you think a relationship is always happy, you haven’t been in a real relationship yet. You’re gonna have some small fights. And some big fights. Then you’re going to make up. You’ll see.” He nods like it’s an obvious answer.

  His way of looking at things confuses me. Up until this morning, we had never had a fight. Not once did I think we were done either. Maybe he had something there. I’d fight through hell for Holly, even if it was to fight with her.

  We walk up the dirt path in between the buildings. “If you wanna head in, I’m gonna go wash up quick first.” I point toward my cabin.

  “Sounds good. I’ll see you in there.” He smiles.

  Dread fills me knowing my place is going to be empty all weekend. I’m going to ask Linda if I can borrow her phone to call Holly tonight. I need to hear her voice.

  When I open the cabin, I swear the place smells like her. It makes my chest ache, missing her. The first thing I see is the picture she framed of us, sitting on the mantle. It’s the perfect thing to remind me of how lucky I am to have found her. Maybe we should talk about marriage. Ever since Joe brought it up, I envision her in a white dress walking toward me. Makes my spine tingle thinking she would be mine in every sense of the word.

  I make my way to the bathroom to wash up and change my shirt. Nothing could have prepared me for what’s sitting on the counter.

  With shaky hands, I hold the box and read its full description. Clearblue pregnancy test. Is this her way of telling me she’s pregnant? It’s not opened, and there’s nothing in the trash indicating she took any.