Backroads Read online

  “Whatever. My phone is my best friend, I feel like. Anyway, can you get away this weekend instead of next week? My plans changed.”

  “Hold on,” I say into the phone. “Linda, Lex wants to know if I can meet her this weekend?”

  “That’s perfect actually. We only have one family coming. We can handle things.” She waves a carrot at me, then washes it in the sink.

  I don’t even get to relay the message. “I heard her answer, which is good—I’m sending your flight info right now. Check your damn phone!”

  “When did you become so bossy,” I tease.

  “When I became determined to help you stop your stupid ex ruin your life.”

  “I...”

  “I love you too, Holly. Now check your phone, and I’ll see you soon. Muah,” she kisses through the phone.

  “I love you too, Lex.” God, I miss her.

  Today has been the longest day ever.

  The drive to the auction was close to three hours. Being stuck there all day with the guys kept things interesting at least. I asked Joe to come along. Linda approved his hire last month, but he had some projects he wanted to finish up before leaving his job to come to the ranch. His work ethic only made him more desirable to have on our team in my eyes. Linda was briefly introduced to him this morning, with the promise I would have him working for us soon. His laid-back, easygoing vibe is a pleasant change compared to the boys’ loud behavior.

  We won four of the five auctions Linda had her eye on. She said it was best she didn’t go along today, or we would be coming home with a whole team of horses. We are coming back with five horses though. Joe fell in love with a buckskin. One phone call back home to get the okay, and we placed our bid. I know how to ride horses, how to care for them, but in reality I don’t know what a good horse looks like.

  Joe walked around all the horses Linda had marked before the auction began. He felt up their legs, looked at their teeth. He poked and prodded the poor beasts more than a guy during a physical.

  He was going to be a good addition to the ranch with his know-how.

  Now I’m sitting in the back seat, knee bouncing impatiently, because I can’t wait to get home to Holly. The longer I’m away from her, the harder it is to breathe. I can’t wait to see her soon.

  I got some grief from the guys about how long it took to get in the truck this morning. Now that we’d been gone almost twelve hours, I’m glad I took the extra ten minutes to say goodbye.

  Her insistence on having sex before I left surprised me. It was fucking worth it though.

  I haven’t wanted a cell phone again as badly as today. If only to text her and let her know I’m thinking about her. Maybe then I would feel connected to her.

  I’ll be breaking down before the weekend is over and getting one.

  Now I want to get home to her. I don’t care if the guys give me shit about it anymore. She got home late last night, and I didn’t even hear her come in. It had taken me forever to fall asleep; I was worried about them driving home so late. I think I had a dream about it at some point, but when I woke up she was in my arms, blissfully naked and curled around me.

  My impatience is growing thinner listening to Charlie and Lee go on about nothing.

  “We could have stayed a little longer,” Lee whined.

  Laughing, Charlie rolls his eyes at Lee. “I had no interest in sticking around the group of college chicks you were drooling over. You don’t think they were even slightly interested in you, do you?”

  “Just because they weren’t interested in you doesn’t mean they weren’t into me.”

  “Dude, we all know they were eyeing up Chase, but Mr. Growly Pants scared everyone off today. And I have better taste than college girls.”

  “Since when?”

  “Since a long time ago.”

  “You’re just pissy because it’s been so long since you got you’ve gotten laid, you’re worried you’ll turn into Chase.”

  “He’s luckier than both of us. He’s got a woman. One woman. And has gotten laid more than you have your entire life, this past month. Maybe you should be looking at the women you’re chasing these days.”

  “What the hell? One woman—really?”

  Charlie has been off all day. Even I noticed over my brooding. The more Lee goaded him, the quieter he was.

  “Do those boys talk about anything but women?” Joe quietly asks me. I had been loosely listening to their banter while thinking about Holly.

  I smile at how quickly Joe picked up on Charlie and Lee’s favorite topic. “Only when they’re together. They have other interests when separated, trust me. Fishing. Hunting. Cars.”

  “Hey, turn the music up! That’s Alexis’s new single.” Charlie reaches over from the passenger seat to fiddle with the knob.

  He’s done this every time one of her songs comes on. It’s also the only time he’s quiet, listening to every lyric she sings.

  I have yet to meet Alexis. Linda traveled a few times to see her after I arrived. I’ve been in on the conference calls with Holly and said hi. Kind of surreal to hear her on the radio.

  “Why don’t you come over tomorrow afternoon?” I say to Joe. “I’ll get the horses settled tonight and fed. Tomorrow we can work on introducing them to each other and their new home. It’ll give you and Linda a chance to talk more. I know she’s excited to get to know you after I told her you worked at another horse ranch.” I’m looking forward to having more help near the main house too.

  The guys have their hands full with the farming. I don’t think Linda quite knows how much land she really has. I didn’t see them for days during planting and harvest season last year. They hired a lot of help during that time, and sometimes ran through the night.

  “Sure, that sounds good to me.” He nods drowsily.

  We’re all ready to be home.

  The lights are still on in the main house when we pull in. We unload the horses and make sure they’re fed and bedded for the night. We all walk into the back door to the kitchen to the most welcoming sight I’ve ever laid eyes on.

  The ache in my chest finally eases the instant I see Holly. She always takes my breath away, but being away from her all day, I swear she is more beautiful today than the first time I set eyes on her.

  The girls have the radio going and are dancing around each other. They don’t stop when they see us walk in. Lighting up with a bright smile, Holly runs and jumps into my arms, wrapping her legs and arms around me. My hands grip her ass through her tiny shorts.

  “I missed you,” she whispers. My heart hammers in my chest with the electric hum of our bodies touching.

  “Fuck, I missed you.” Her lips meet mine, opening for me. I can’t stop she tastes so good. Feels so good. I growl when she pulls my hair to angle my lips just right so she can deepen the kiss.

  “Jesus, you two, get a room!” Lee bellows over the music.

  We pull apart, smiling at each other, not caring that they’re all watching. They are our family. I never thought I would have someone in my life like this. Someone I can call my own. Someone to come home to. I can breathe again with her in my arms.

  “Are you hungry?” Her eyes are filled with lust and mischief.

  My cock pulses with her double meaning. “I’ll always be hungry for you. My mouth waters thinking about how good you’ll taste,” I say low enough I hope only she hears. I lower her to the ground and start dancing to the music still playing.

  Her eyes grow wide with surprise when I spin her out and pull her back into me.

  “Hell yes!” Charlie bellows, grabbing Linda to dance too.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Lee and Beth start line dancing.

  The song has the perfect tempo to jitterbug to, and I love that she doesn’t know the steps but trusts me to not let her fall. I lead the dance around the kitchen, twirling her around and catching her hand to stop her. I pull her hand over her head to spin her one way, then the other. Her laughter and surprise at my dance moves is
contagious, and soon I’m laughing with her.

  She finally collapses against my chest, flushed from exertion. Her hair falls wildly around her shoulders while she smiles up at me. I’m content to hold her like this all night, enjoying the same pink tint on her cheeks as when my cock is inside her, close to orgasm—my favorite look on her.

  “I didn’t know you could dance,” she says, trying to catch her breath.

  “Princess, there’s a lot you don’t know I can do with you.” I wiggle my eyebrows.

  “I can’t wait to find out all your other moves.” She leans up to kiss me. This kiss is playful and doesn’t last long. “Come on, we saved you guys some food. We are guest-free tonight. The house is ours,” she sings to the tune of the song.

  Still dancing, she shakes her ass over to the fridge and brings a few plates out for us to heat up. “Hey, is it okay if I go see Alexis this weekend?”

  “I thought that was next week.”

  “It was, till she called and rescheduled today. Will that be okay?” She looks hesitant.

  “Come here.” I pull her into my arms. “Baby, of course it’s okay. I like that you tell me what you’re doing, but you don’t need to ask permission.” I kiss her quick. “Damn. If today was hard being away from you, this weekend is going to be brutal.” I miss her again instantly.

  She smacks my arm. “Think about all the sex we’ll have when we reunite, then.” She winks, heading to the microwave that just beeped.

  While we dig into the food, she steals kisses whenever she can. The others are dancing and talking. I couldn’t ask for a better welcome home.

  The dishes are done and put away, and everyone is heading home or going to bed finally.

  “Come on, let’s go look at the stars.” I tug on Holly’s hand and pull her up to the third-story lookout.

  Her breath hitches when we get up the ladder. “I’ve never come up here at night before. It’s breathtaking.”

  With the windows all around and above us, all we can see are stars and the reflection of the moon on the river. It’s warm during the days, but the nights are still cool and the bugs come out. This is the perfect way to look at the night sky.

  “You’re breathtaking.” Even though the only light in the room is from the moon, I can see her whole body react.

  I reach out to pull her against me. “I’ve been going crazy these last couple of days being away from you. I’m not sure I’ll make it when you go visit Alexis.” I run my hands lazily up and down her back, then down so I can grab the hem of her shirt.

  When she turns in my arms, I see unshed tears in her eyes. “What’s wrong, baby?” I kiss her forehead and pull her tight against me.

  “Let’s sit for a second.” She grabs my hand and pulls me down on the couch.

  A tear runs down her cheek, and I quickly wipe it away and kiss her eyes. “What’s going on?” Seeing her so worked up has my emotions running, and my voice comes out thicker than I expected. Clearing my throat, I say in a smoother voice, “Tell me what’s wrong, baby.”

  She worries her bottom lip, then takes a deep breath. “We got back late last night. You were asleep on the bed. I didn’t want to wake you, so I tiptoed into the bathroom to get ready to join you.” Her breathing picks up before she continues, more tears running down her cheeks. “Then you started screaming. You were thrashing about... kicking the pillows off the bed. I tried to yell back, to wake you, to shake you... and I... and I couldn’t wake you. The things you said...”

  I stop her with a finger on her lips. My heart is hammering, and I can’t catch my breath. I remember having a dream last night, but I haven’t had a nightmare in quite some time.

  “I was worried about you two driving back in the dark last night,” I whisper, pulling her on top of me to straddle me so I can look into her eyes. My beautiful princess. My savior.

  She runs her fingers through my hair, smoothing it back behind my ear. Her touch calms me enough to tell her what I haven’t been able to. “I lost my brother to a car accident a few years ago.”

  She stills in my arms. I grip her tightly, pulling her close. I need to feel her to get this out. “We’d met at the bar after work. We only had a couple of beers.” My breathing is irregular; it’s too hard to say out loud, but I have to for her. “He wanted to go home. Needed to get back to his wife. They’d been having problems. It was why we stopped, so he could talk. A girl had been trying to get my attention since we walked in, and I was distracted by her the whole time. He was shaking his head, watching our interaction. He told me good luck and he was going to go. So I let him leave, while I stayed.”

  I can’t hold her eye contact. The night replays in my mind like the nightmare it is.

  “It only took twenty minutes for her to talk me into leaving with her. She climbed in my car and was on me the moment the door closed. I didn’t normally take women home from the bar. Especially like that. But that night I was only thinking about getting laid.” Holly’s whole body grows rigid beneath my hands. I pull her tighter to me, burying my head in her neck. “Traffic was light, but it was pouring rain.”

  I picture finding Holly the way I did not that long ago. How I thought I had lost her.

  “Two miles down the road, I saw the lights flashing.” Tears are falling freely from my eyes, and I don’t even try to hide the cracking in my voice. I’ve never retold this story before. Not since that night. “I had to push the girl off of me to get out of the car. Most times you don’t stop for an accident. You keep going. But something told me I had to stop. I had to see who it was.”

  I can’t talk anymore. My heart can’t handle the pain of that night. Her fingers run through my hair again. Instead of pushing me away like I expected, she holds me against her and rocks slightly.

  “It’s okay, sweetie. Shhh, it’s okay, I got you.”

  I take a deep breath. I have to finish now that I’ve started. “It was his car. It was Jacob’s. Another car had hydroplaned across the line and hit him. They were working on getting the woman out of the car. He was still in his car, and still alive when I got to him.”

  I can still smell the rain mixed with oil leaking from the cars.

  “Jacob! Jacob! I’m here. I’m here, brother.” This isn’t happening. “Jacob, can you hear me?” He lifts his head and squints at the lights from the surrounding vehicles. The rescue crew are talking about bringing in the jaws of life to cut the door or roof off. None of that matters except getting to Jacob.

  The front end is smashed; his airbag went off and is deflated. His left eye is almost swollen shut, and his nose looks broken. His forehead is bleeding so much his shirt is soaked with it. There’s so much blood everywhere.

  Reaching through the window, I grab his hand that’s still clutching the steering wheel and squeeze it, repeating, “Jacob, can you hear me?” I’m soaked through, and the rain doesn’t seem like it’s going to let up.

  “Chase?” One eye opens, but his voice is weak. “Chase, I didn’t see it coming...” His voice is garbled and his breathing labored. “...didn’t have time to react.”

  “It’s okay. I’m here. We’re going to get you out of here. Okay?” He closes his eyes. “No, stay with me, okay? Keep talking to me.” I squeeze his hand again, and he squeezes back, but his eyes stay closed.

  “Karen’s going to be so mad at me.” He sobs. His head rolls to one side, eyes still closed. “Tell her... tell her I didn’t mean it. Tell her I was coming home to tell her she was right.” He cries out in pain, both eyes open with fear. “Fuck! Not like this. Fuck! Tell her I love her. You’ll tell her, won’t you?” His eyes close again, and I feel his hand relax in mine.

  “No, Jacob! No, you’re going to tell her! Jacob! I need you to tell her.” I try to keep my voice steady and strong, but it’s no use. I’m seeing my brother slip away in front of me. Fuck pretending to be strong; he’s the strong one, not me.

  “I love you, Chase. We don’t say that enough. I love you. Take care of her. I love her so much
.” His head rolls to the side, and his hand becomes completely limp in mine.

  “Jacob! Jacob!” I scream at him, shaking his shoulders. “No, Jacob! I love you too. Jacob!” No matter how much I scream, he doesn’t move. “You can’t leave me.” Sobbing, I pray my brother will open his eyes one more time. He’s been my lifeline, my confidant, my best friend, my whole life.

  “The rescue team had to pull me away to get to him. They had to handcuff me to a police cruiser to keep me away so they could do their job.” The sob breaks through me. I feel so weak for breaking down this way, but I can’t stop. “They knew before they got him out of the car he was gone. I sat there and could do nothing but watch when they were finally able to pull his body from it. I couldn’t do anything.”

  I feel the warmth of her tears hit my face. “I still dream I get to him in time, but I can’t get him out. I haven’t had one in a long time, but my biggest fear now is losing you.” I’ve said it.

  She pulls back and forces me to look at her. Even through her tears, she is beautiful. “You told me you would follow me wherever I went. So there’s no losing me. You have me.”

  Some things we have control of; others we don’t. This moment I have control of. I lightly brush my lips against hers, and she deepens the kiss.

  What starts slow quickly turns to a need to be one with her. She pulls my shirt up and over my head at the same time I release the clasp on her bra. I tease one nipple, and she moans into my mouth, “More.”

  The squeal of pleasure that comes from her when I bend and take her other nipple in my mouth, sucking on the hard bud, has her hips rocking over my cock. I love it when she takes her pleasure from me. “I want you fast and hard, and I want to savor every inch of you.”

  “I want all of you—give me all of you,” she breathes out heavily.

  “You have me, Holly. Heart and soul, you have all of me.” I’m tired of holding back the words I’ve wanted to say for far too long, “I love you. So fucking much. I love you, Holly.”