Love, Kinsey Read online

  Her blonde hair was matted to her head and tubes ran out of her arm like small, ugly snakes. It was hard to see her like that. I thought back to the smile she gave me just before exiting the car. It was a big contrast. I heard Cameron suck in his breath sharply.

  Kinsey’s eyes fluttered open as the doctor gently called her name. We locked eyes and she smiled.

  It was the best damn smile I have ever seen in my lifetime.

  “Hi baby,” she greeted, her voice meek and childlike. I moved to her side and took her hand.

  “Hey, Kins.” I felt stupid for being at a loss for words, but seeing her like this scared me.

  “Sorry for the dramatics boys,” she joked. Cameron laughed aloud, a little too loudly, but the tension immediately disappeared.

  “You always gotta make a grand exit, huh?” I asked. My free hand came up to her forehead and brushed away the stray locks.

  “You know it.” Her eyes moved from me to Cameron.

  “Thank you for being there. And calling this fellow,” she winked and Cameron and I shared a grin.

  Time flew as the three of us stayed in that room. Dr. Benson came in and informed Kinsey she needed to stay overnight for observation.

  “Colby have you called my parents or Keaten?”

  “No I was going to after I knew everything. I can go right now if you want.”

  “No! That's why I was asking you. I don’t want them knowing about this or what the doctor said.”

  I frowned, “Babe, really? Are you sure?” I asked incredulously. She never kept anything from her family.

  “Promise me, Colby,” she commanded sternly. Fear flashed across her eyes and I nodded.

  “Okay babe, okay.”

  She sighed, “I’m probably going to rest for the remainder of the night. I feel completely exhausted. Cameron would it be okay for Colby to go to you bar for a while tonight?”

  I was confused beyond words. I looked to Cameron and saw that he shared my sentiments.

  “Yeah, Kinsey. That’d be okay.” He looked at me and explained, “I own a bar in town and had invited y'all tonight with drinks on the house. I actually gotta go here in a few anyway for the night shift. If you want to come and unwind dude, you’re entirely welcome.”

  A whole lot of feelings bombarded me. It did sound nice to go out like normal. I couldn’t remember the last time that had happened. However, if I did, I would have to battle my guilt over abandoning Kinsey at a strange hospital in her time of need.

  “Go! I’ll be fine tonight. Colby, please, you need a night to have a normal life for once. Just call a cab to the hotel and come up here in the morning.” She smiled pleadingly. “Please baby, it’ll make me feel better.”

  And there it was. The trait that made Kinsey the most exceptional person on this earth and in my life – her never-ending selflessness. I nodded, “Okay, I mean if you’re sure, Cameron.”

  “Dude yea! You can get a ride with me. I don’t drink at the job so I can be your designated driver." He looked past me to Kinsey and I could tell it made him happy to make her appeased. This guy was a good one. He would probably give me the most expensive shit he had, as long as he felt he was helping Kinsey.

  I sighed and kissed Kinsey on the lips lightly, “Alright.

  Please sleep well and call if you need anything.

  She raised a hand in a mock salute, her seriousness vanished. Doubt and uncertainty reared their ugly heads, but I left anyway.

  Chapter 14

  KINSEY

  I didn’t fall asleep right away after the guys left. Guilt tormented me for bossing Colby around and telling him to go away. However, I desperately needed time alone.

  I was completely terrified. Plain and simple as that. I felt an enormous amount of remorse for putting Colby through all of this. I wanted to be alone, but he also needed time to simply chill.

  My time was running short. It was totally out of my hands and that lack of control had slowly started ebbing away at my resolve.

  I paged the nurses’ station and requested some paper and a pen. A sweet young nurse, named Lacy, brought it to me. Her shift had started earlier that day and she quickly became my favorite out of all the staff.

  “Hi, doll. Here’s your pen and paper. How are you feeling?” I could tell she was still new to the job; it hadn’t yet jilted her. Even in my field, it was easy to burn out. The adrenaline from writing and reporting wore off. Somehow, I kept fueling the fire I had for it, trying to remember the reasons I got into the field to begin with.

  I smiled, “I’m fine. All the medication has been making me feel right as rain. Thank you.” I tilted my head and decided to voice my concern, “Can I ask you something?” I nervously asked.

  “Yes, of course honey.” She stepped closer to my bedside.

  “Really, it’s not a question, more like a request. I just want to tell you to hold onto that passion of yours. I can only imagine how grueling it is, how at times you must feel unappreciated and taken for granted. I can feel your passion though, and I don’t want you to lose it. We need nurses like you. People that will always care.”

  Lacy touched her chest and fanned her freckled face with her other hand. “You know, I really needed to hear that today. I don’t know how you sensed it or what made you say that but thank you. Thank you so very much.” She came over and took my hand, “You call me if you need anything else while you’re here sweetheart, okay?”

  I gave her a smile and a nod and she went away. It felt good to help someone else feel better. I had discovered a long time ago that our tongues had the power to cut somebody down or build him or her up.

  It took hours for me to make my last will and testament and instructions for after I died. I wanted everything to be perfect, for the will to cover everything, even though

  I didn’t own a whole bunch. I was mainly concerned with my personal, sentimental items. They each had a future home and I needed to get that written down.

  Sleep that night finally took hold and I wandered into a dreamless sleep.

  ***

  COLBY

  I was pissed. So completely mad, that the only thing I wanted to do was beat the door down. Kinsey stood in front of me, her eyes set in a menacing glare. Her chest heaved raggedly.

  I didn’t want to have this ridiculous stupid argument with her. I knew she didn’t need to be upset, or stressed. Her body wasn’t strong enough. Still, I couldn’t avoid it.

  She had just informed me that she was not putting an end to her travels, our travels, and even planned to board her flight to Galveston that afternoon.

  “Are you freakin’ crazy Kinsey? Really? We don’t need to get on another damn plane the day after you had a seizure.”

  “I’m going Colby. I have one interview left and then I’ll go home.”

  “It’s stupid. I’m sorry, but it makes no sense. The hospital is reluctantly agreeing to release you because of your condition. Apparently, you tried to refuse them permission to contact Dr. Chang for medical records? What is wrong with you?” As soon as the last question left my lips, I immediately regretted it. Kinsey really hated that phrase.

  “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me? Are you too clueless to realize that after what happened yesterday I’m this close,” she held up her thumb and pointer finger close together, “to dying? You’re the one who urged me to go and write this article and now I’m stupid because I want to get it done and over with.” She turned sharply around and grabbed her purse.

  “I’m going. Whether you think it’s stupid or not.” She stated crossing her arms across her chest.

  In that moment, my heart defrosted a bit. I didn’t want her to go, but dammit, she was right. Our fights never lasted long. I was whipped and I’ve known it from the start. Kinsey wore the pants in the relationship, and it was clear that day it wouldn’t shift.

  “Fine. Whatever.” I huffed. I grabbed her paperwork off the bedside table and turned to leave out the door, “But Dr. Chang will know all t
he details about this. You need to quit trying to cover this situation. In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never kept anything from your momma. For shit’s sake, you told her when you lost your virginity. How many normal teenage girls do that?”

  Kinsey looked at me with her cerulean blue eyes and a smile played on her lips. “Are you calling me a weirdo?”

  “Yeah, just a little.” I replied, relieved that her stance had shifted.

  “Look, I know it doesn’t make sense. I appreciate your concern, I really do. Anybody else would feel the same. But I don’t have much time, Colby. We both know it. If I were to postpone this final interview, then I would have to postpone the wedding, put off writing the article.” She came towards me, her eyes reflecting a mixture of sadness and awe, “Colby, I love you. What you say makes sense, but it also makes sense for me to finish this. Okay?” She stepped right up to me and wrapped her thin arms around my waist and squeezed as tightly as she could

  I sighed deeply. Her hugs always made things right.

  “Okay, I get it. I do. I just want to go home.”

  “I do too baby, but I just have one more to go.”

  “Well then, let’s get ready for our flight.” I hated the words as soon as they left my lips, but Kinsey was on a mission.

  Her last mission. And it was not in my rights to tell her to abort it. She wanted to keep going and I would be right alongside her.

  It was time to head to the beach.

  Chapter 15

  KINSEY

  Joe and I decided to meet at a beachside café. It was quaint and comfy.

  I breathed deep, placed the recorder on the table and straightened in my chair. Joe looked nervous. His hair was thinning and had a hint of gray. His face looked worn and tired, but he was still handsome as his blue eyes lit up when he looked at me. Distant sounds of sea gulls and the waves crashing against the shore held a calming effect.

  "What was the very first thing you noticed about me?"

  "Your dimples," his sudden response took me by surprise, "You were laughing the first time I saw you, and your dimples just caught my eye," he finished explaining. I smiled.

  "That night, we didn't talk, but the next day I asked John about you. I couldn't get the picture of you smiling with those beautiful dimples out of my head." Joe leaned back, visibly relaxed.

  "That is... Very sweet," I answered. "Okay, next question, what's the one memory that stands out to you most?"

  "The day you brought lunch to me at work. Do you remember that?" He paused and I nodded in response. "It was raining really hard that day and I wasn't able to leave. I didn't even ask you to! And it was such a small gesture, but so... You. You are the most selfless person I've ever met."

  I smiled at the memory, something that really never stood out to me. It's funny how the little things mattered to some people. One insignificant detail to you, turned out to be a major one to someone else.

  "I've thought about you a lot. I actually was talking about you to someone else a few days before I got your message. Weird coincidence, right?" He smirked, "You have always been there, in the back of my head. I always thought things ended too soon. But we were young, you know?"

  I nodded slowly. I had always thought the same way. It was one relationship that I would have liked to hold out longer.

  "We," he moved his finger back and forth between the two of us, "We were good. And that was nice. Things were great while they lasted."

  "What..." I hesitated a moment. Asking this question was awkward, "What made you fall in love with me, Joe?"

  A smile slowly formed and he cocked his head to the side, "Because you are a beautiful person, inside and out.

  And I mean that. I didn't fall in love with your amazing body or your killer smile. I fell in love with your heart."

  At that point, tears fell silently down my face. Joe took my hands in his. I looked down and saw the freckle on his index finger. His hands were so strong.

  “What did you take with you from our relationship?” I asked softly, still holding onto his hands.

  “That life can be fun, exciting and I should savor every single moment. It sounds so cliché, but I remember when your uncle passed away and we were planning on going over there. You remember?” I nodded and he continued, “Even if we weren't doing anything extra, like just hanging out and watching TV, you made every day fun. And you taught me to be more attentive. To pay attention to the little things and commit them to memory. And it's helped me in my other relationships. Even though Brit and I split up, I still paid attention to her. I carved out time each day for her.

  “You told me, 'Don't you ever take me for granted Joe. Girls don't deserve that.' And you were right, of course. I may not have treated you like gold, but I've learned from my mistakes.”

  I smiled, “It's funny, doing these interviews with y’all. It’s been so long ago that we dated, but you, each of you guys, have left an imprint in my heart. I’m very lucky for you.”

  “Oh trust me honey, we are all very lucky to have you. Do you have any more questions?”

  “No, actually that was the end. I’m sorry, I feel bad all the time now.”

  “Did I do okay?”

  “You did great.” I smiled warmly at him. “I’m glad you agreed to meet me. This was nice.” Joe nodded in agreement and we began to talk of his daughter, his job and other things.

  We took a stroll down the beach barefoot. “You know, you should feel special.” I teased.

  “Oh really? Why’s that?” he asked.

  “This will be my last trip to the beach.” I said solemnly. “You’re lucky you get to take this walk with me.”

  “Oh Kinsey, tell me something I don’t know hon. I still remember your very first trip to the beach, very well.” I looked at him and he winked at me.

  It had been with him. My first and last walk down a beach was with Joe. How ironic.

  I took his hand and we continued on silently.

  Part Three:

  The Goodbye

  Chapter 16

  KINSEY

  I answered my phone still half-asleep, “‘Ello?”

  “Come open your front door,” Courtney’s voice demanded then there was silence. I looked at the screen and realized she hung up.

  I stretched and rolled out of bed. Colby’s side was empty; he had an early meeting that day. I opened the door wide and found Courtney, Jamie and my mom standing on my porch.

  “Um, hi guys. How are you?”

  “Mornin’ baby girl. We have a few last-minute things for the wedding. You know, like picking out a dress. You can’t put it off any longer, honey,” Mama explained.

  It was true; I had been putting it off for no reason except laziness. I had been so exhausted ever since our return from Galveston. The time I wasn’t at home resting, I was at the office preparing Sam for the transition from Sports Editor to Assistant Editor. Rosemary had asked me to pick my successor and I chose him. He was smart and had been at the paper for nearly as long as I had, but there were still a few things to teach him.

  I ushered them inside and put on a pot of coffee. I wasn’t a coffee drinker, but all three of them were. I sat on a bar stool and pulled my nappy hair into a ponytail.

  “Sorry for waking you up my love.” Mama apologized, kissing the top of my head.

  “It’s alright. You’re right, I have been putting it off. So a dress and what else?”

  “Actually, that’s all. Everything is set and ready to go.”

  Jamie answered. Obviously, Mama had recruited her and Courtney. How weird not to have a thing to do with my own wedding.

  I shook my head, clearing the thought aside. Oh well, it was a weird situation anyway. It was being done and that is all that mattered. Colby really wanted to be my husband. And I wanted to be his wife.

  “Oh, I do need to ask what song you want for your first dance with Colby.” Courtney asked.

  “‘Everything Has Changed' by Taylor Swift.” I automatically replied. My b
est friends shared a look and

  Jamie smirked. “What?” I asked looking back and forth.

  “Told you.” Jamie taunted.

  Courtney stuck her tongue out before continuing,

  “What about the dance with your dad?”

  I looked up at Mama surprised, “Dad’s gonna dance with me? That’s a shocker.”

  “Yes well it took some convincing and a little bitching, but he agreed,” Mama answered removing the coffee pot and pouring the drinks.

  “Hmm, what about ‘I Loved Her First’ by Heartland? That’s a dad song isn’t it?” I suggested. Courtney nodded and typed something on her phone.

  “Well I guess I need to go dress huh?” I hopped off the stool. I felt sluggish and tried to fight it off. I swallowed some pain pills in my bathroom. I wanted to savor this day with my favorite women.

  ***

  Hours later, I was back at my house, loaded down with a dress, shoes and accessories. My tummy was full from a fantastic lunch my mom treated us to.

  My cheeks hurt from smiling so much on the ride home as Jamie and Courtney sang along to the radio. It was like junior high and high school all over again.

  When Avicii’s ‘Wake Me Up' came on, Jamie whooped rather loudly and started doing some sort of rave arm movement dance as Courtney belted out the lyrics. I was in total hysterics. These girls. Mama just kept driving as if everything was normal.

  Fun times for all.