Love, Kinsey Read online

  It sucked dying.

  We laid back down but I was still uneasy. I tossed and turned and I knew I was keeping Colby up and I felt this tremendous amount of guilt.

  Our morning was silent as we started packing and getting ready to leave. Around eleven o’clock Colby threw down his paper he was reading and turned the TV off.

  “Let’s go get something to eat. This hotel room is driving me nuts.”

  I agreed, I was starting to get stir-crazy too.

  We loaded into the rental and took off. “Kinsey, I have a surprise for you,” Colby finally said after a few silent minutes.

  “Okay? What’s up?” I asked. I was starving, and we were heading out of town, not into it. What exactly was he up to?

  “I know you don’t have a bucket list per se, but you did mention something you’ve wanted to do. Anyway we’re like five minutes away. So, just hold tight.

  I racked my brain for memories of recent conversation, but nothing pulled up.

  Finally, we pulled into a field off the main highway. It looked to be some kind of farmland and right in the middle stood a hot pink hot air balloon. It was the most majestic thing contrasting sharply with the clear baby blue sky.

  “Ta-da,” Colby announced. He turned to look at me with hope-filled eyes.

  “Oh. My. God. Colby, how? This is just… Ah!” I stuttered. I was smiling so broadly, my cheeks hurt.

  My heart doubled its pace and I finished, “Holy cow, Colby, you remembered.”

  “Well duh,” was his playful reply.

  “You ready? We’re having lunch at the conclusion of the trip, roughly 30 minutes from here to our destination then back again.”

  “You mean now? We’re leaving now?” I squeaked. My hands grew clammy and sheen of sweat peppered my forehead. Colby offered his hand and I took a deep breath. Then another. “Okay, yes I’m ready. This is so neat Colby, thank you.”

  “No problem baby Kins.” He said grinning from ear to ear. I could sense he was eager to leave. He loved doing stuff like this. Before I met him, he would go mountain climbing, sky diving, para-gliding etc. He lived for heart-racing adventures and continued to do them after we started going out, but a few accidents slowed him down. I spotted the gleam in his eyes as we walked to the balloon basket.

  The balloon operator, a man who looked so similar to my dad, they could’ve been related, waited for us and opened the tiny door. “Are we all set?” he asked. We nodded our heads, but inside, my heart was flip-flopping around like a fish. I grabbed onto Colby’s hand as we stepped inside.

  He went over the rules for hot air balloon rides and what to expect. He outlined the course we would take, the approximate time and explained we would have a celebratory toast of champagne, which was a ballooning tradition.

  The operator messed with the machinery and slowly we began ascending. Colby’s strong arm wrapped around my waist and I realized I was squeezing his hand a little too tightly. I placed myself in the center, backed up against Colby who was leaning against the side.

  I took a deep breath and focused on the ascent, the trees below slowly became smaller and smaller. I looked up and around to see Colby’s expression. He had put his sunshades on but his smile was glorious. He looked like a little kid in a candy store, so full of awe and wonder.

  I turned my head back to the front and tentatively took a few steps away from him. I reached a hand out and gently splayed my fingers across the rim of the basket.

  “Is this your first time hon?” The operator asked. His nametag read Jim.

  “Is it that obvious, Jim?” I asked laughing. He smiled in return and nodded slightly.

  “Just a little. No worries though, these things are very dependable. You just enjoy the view.”

  I gripped the rim and stepped up the edge. I could see for miles and miles around. The ground below became a vast spread of different shades of greens. Houses became tiny squares.

  “This is amazing!” I yelled. I was giddy with delight. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I turned to

  Colby and threw my arms around him, looking up. I kissed his chin. “Thank you, love. Thank you!”

  The rest of the ride was majestic. With the wind blowing through my hair, and Colby’s arms wrapped around me once again, I felt at peace. Being up so high made me feel closer to God, to the world, to everything. I realized that we are all just miniscule parts of this great Earth and it humbled me.

  The landing part was terrifying, but not because it didn’t go smoothly. It did. The ground rushing at us just scared me and I yelped which made both Jim and Colby laugh out loud.

  We landed in the open field and I was a little too happy to plant my feet on solid ground. Jim brought out a picnic basket and a champagne bottle chilled in a metal bucket.

  Colby and I set up a blanket and we both sat down.

  Jim toasted us and went back to the balloon basket so we could have a semi-private picnic.

  “This,” I gestured with a sandwich in my hand to the balloon, “was the best thing ever! Did you like it?”

  Colby nodded slightly. “Very awesome. I’m a genius.” I threw a piece of crust at him.

  “A cocky genius.” I retorted sarcastically. We proceeded to eat our lunch of ham and cheese sandwiches and drank our champagne.

  I felt more at ease with climbing back into the basket for our return trip. It was definitely a nice escape from everything. It made my heart very happy. I felt rejuvenated, ready for the final leg of this trip. Colby was a genius; he always knew exactly what I needed.

  ***

  COLBY

  I was seriously worried about Kinsey. She wasn’t eating that much, mainly all her stomach could handle were sandwiches and soup. She had lost weight since we’ve been on the road.

  The nosebleed is what messed me up the most. There was so much blood, and it just kept gushing out. I almost called 911 to come take her to the emergency room but she fought against it.

  This shit sucked. I was tired of it all. I wished with all my might for everything to go back to how it used to be. Why the hell did this have to happen to one girl I’d devoted my entire heart to?

  Time was ticking away. That fact was amplified every day.

  Chapter 12

  KINSEY

  I sat at the table, scanning the crowds. My head was throbbing and I silently prayed that it would stop.

  Checking my watch for the umpteenth time, I started getting nervous. Maybe he just forgot. Maybe he simply decided not to come.

  "Ugh!" I groaned, putting my head in my hands.

  "Hey there, gorgeous. Waiting on me?" A low voice spoke. I peeked up and saw all 6 foot 3 inches of Cameron Styles looking down at me. Standing, I wrapped my arms around him.

  "I'm sorry I kept you waiting, Kinsey. I got caught in traffic," he apologized.

  "I was getting worried," I confessed, taking a seat.

  He lightly kissed the top of my head before sitting down. "You look tired, but absolutely gorgeous. Your 20s have been very good to you." Cameron noted very appreciatively.

  He looked great too. He still had his curly black hair grown out. He loved his curls back when we dated. So did I. I’d spend hours running my fingers through those curls. His icy blue eyes stood out even more against his bronze skin.

  "You look like you just stepped off a magazine cover." I complimented.

  He gave me a half grin and played with his leather bracelet. "So you really don’t have much time, huh?"

  "Less than a year. My symptoms have been getting worse unfortunately." I gave a small frown.

  Cameron nodded absentmindedly, "It just sucks, man. It seemed so surreal. You simply deserve a long life, sweet young lady," he cleared his throat and continued, "So this whole article thing is really cool. At least you get a chance to tie up the ends, and say your goodbyes. I guess there’s a small silver lining to this gray-ass cloud, huh?"

  I nodded in agreement, "I'm so unbelievably grateful for that. I really am. The whol
e article thing kind of came to me in a dream."

  "Really? That's pretty cool. I'm glad you went into journalism after college. You always loved writing."

  "What did you end up doing? Are you married?"

  "Nah, haven’t found anyone who can make me settle yet. Truthfully, I thought years ago it would be you." He winked at me and I felt my face grow hot. "As for what I do, I actually own a bar in town. I was going to invite you and your fiancée to come this evening. Free drinks, alcoholic or non. I'm not sure what you're able to do with your condition."

  "Oh wow, how cool! Yea, I can drink. I'm not much of a beer or liquor person. Do you serve wine?"

  "For you, I do, sweet girl."

  “Well then we will come. I'll get the address before I leave."

  "That sounds wonderful!” Cameron smiled wide.

  "Well let’s get this started shall we?"

  “Shoot." Cameron said as he leaned forward propping his arms on the table.

  "What was my best attribute, while we were dating?"

  "Hmm that easy, but I’m guessing you didn't mean physical ones right?" Cameron grinned slyly and I rolled my eyes. He was such a joker.

  "Ha ha Cam, the answer is no."

  He snapped his fingers and frowned, "Damn it. Well, then another one would be your ability to laugh and really enjoy life. You always made me feel like I was the funniest person on earth. We had a blast together. In addition, your love for life was incredible."

  "Time's too short to waste on bitching and moaning," I replied.

  "That it is, sweetheart. It's important to enjoy your blessings and not focus on the obstacles."

  "But you know I think I got that from you! You're laid back and carefree. It was nice to be around you."

  "Thanks, but maybe we just fed off each other. You know, brought the best out in one another." I nodded even before he finished his sentence. It was something I always felt with him.

  "On to the next question, what did you learn from our relationship once it was over?"

  "To fight harder the next time. I let you go too easily and I truly loved you. I wanted you to be the one but for whatever reason, things ended. And I should’ve fought for you and I apologize that I didn’t." Lines creased Cam's forehead as he spoke. He was serious as his blue eyes sought mine and I felt a peace settle in my heart.

  "It’s okay Cameron. Things happen for a reason."

  "That they do sweet girl.” He flashed his bright smile and broke the serious mood. "What did you learn from me?"

  "To be carefree and enjoy life. Pretty much what you just said."

  He nodded, "I'm glad. That's a nice lesson to teach someone."

  "What kind of legacy do you think I'll leave behind?"

  "A legacy of love. As cheesy as that sounds, it's true. Some people don't love as fiercely as you do. It's quite an admirable quality. When things happen to you, you don't just turn your love away. I think our break-up was one of the nicest, sweetest ones I experienced. Because of you. Because even though things were ending, I knew you still loved me, still cared. That helped me more than you’ll ever know."

  I sighed, his words comforting me like a blanket. Out of all the break ups, ours was the worst one for me to deal with. It had shaken me to my core and left me broken for a long time. I stressed over how he was in the aftermath, but now I knew. He had survived because he couldn’t forget that I still and always would love him.

  Suddenly, everything became dizzy. My tongue felt thick in my mouth and I couldn't find my voice. A tingling sensation crept through my arms and legs.

  "Kinsey? Are you okay?" Cameron's voice sounded far away and slurred.

  I tried to focus on him, but my vision blurred and suddenly there were three of him.

  "Kinsey! Oh my God! Kinsey!!" It was the last thing I heard as blackness surrounded me and I fell into the darkness.

  Chapter 13

  COLBY

  I heard my phone ring faintly while I was in the shower.

  "Shit." It was probably Kinsey. I should’ve showered sooner but there was a game on the TV I was caught up watching. This damn East Texas humidity was making me up the number of showers I took a day. It was very different from West Texas.

  My phone was still ringing when I stepped out.

  Kinsey's picture was on the caller ID but when I answered, a male voice greeted me.

  “Hello?"

  "Is this Colby?" He sounded frantic, scared.

  "Yes, who's this? Where's Kinsey?"

  "My name is Cameron. She was interviewing me when she just broke down. I don't... I don't know what happened but were in the ambulance now. Headed to Hunter's Medical Center."

  "Shit! Text the address to me please and I'll be there right away." I hung up and chucked my phone on the bed.

  "Damn it!" I yelled, yanking open my suitcase. I threw on a pair of khaki shorts and a T-shirt and ran out of the room.

  "Don't you do this, God. Do not take her away right now! I need her! I need her!" I screamed inside the rental as I input the address in the GPS. I felt like I was about to explode. My heart was pounding like a jackrabbit.

  I cannot lose her now. It's not the time.

  Not now. Please not now.

  ***

  I need to be there, I kept repeating in my mind as I sped like a maniac weaving in and out of traffic. Finally, I pulled up to the entrance and jerked the car to park.

  A security guard outside attempted to stop me, "Sir, you can’t-"

  "Tow it!" A strangled, terrifying command escaped my mouth. I didn't recognize my voice, it sounded strange.

  I ran to the front desk. "Kinsey Masters. I'm her fiancé. The ambulance brought her in. She has a brain tumor and collapsed.”

  The woman’s fingers flew across the keyboard at the same time I heard a male voice call out, "Colby!"

  I looked down the hallway and saw a curly-haired guy with his hand up. He started toward me as the desk clerk said, "Sir, she's in the observation right now. They are taking her vitals. Can you provide medical history because she's not in the system?"

  "Right. Yeah, we're from Abilene. Can I go see her now? Please."

  She gave me a clipboard and a sympathetic look, "As soon as this is filled out, I'll ask for you to go back there."

  I nodded briskly at the same time the curly haired guy reached me.

  "Colby? I'm Cameron. I'm the one who called you." He offered his hand and I shook it.

  "Thank you. For calling me, I mean." We sat down and I started filling out the paperwork.

  "Here's her purse and phone." He offered Kinsey's blue hobo bag and her iPhone. He got quiet as I wrote as fast as I could. I almost forgot he was even there.

  "So what happened exactly?" I asked without looking up.

  “We were just talking and all of a sudden she paled, lost all her coloring. It was as if she wanted to say something but couldn’t. She just sat there frozen.

  “I asked if she was all right and she was blinking as if trying to focus or something. And then she just fainted," he heaved a sigh, as if recounting it had been physically exhausting. "It was scary.”

  "God, I can only imagine. She was okay in the ambulance? She didn't crash or anything?" Cameron shook his head.

  "No. She was just unresponsive. I told them about the tumor but I don’t know much about it. Not any of the details, so it wasn’t much help."

  "It's alright; I think I’ve filled out enough." I stood and paused, raising my hand to him. He accepted it and we shook again.

  "Thank you man, for reacting so fast. Thanks for being there for her. I appreciate it, Cameron." I turned in my paperwork and walked back to my seat.

  "What do you think happened?” Cameron quietly asked.

  I shook my head. “I’m not sure. It could be anything." My throat tightened and my chest was on fire. "It's happening too fast. We were planning to hold the wedding after these interviews were over. Yours is the next to last one."

  "Congrats, man. Y’all stil
l have your wedding. Everything will be okay." Cameron clapped me on the back, trying to be reassuring. It was a nice gesture.

  Suddenly, a female voice called, "Mr. Daniels?" I looked up at a very petite, barely five-foot tall, red haired woman.

  "Yes, that's me."

  "Hi! I am Dr. Benson. We have stabilized Kinsey. She suffered a small seizure. But she's going to be fine." Her high-pitched voice was hard to process. She sounded like a cartoon character and I felt myself growing agitated.

  "Okay, Can I see her? I really want to see her. Was this related to the tumor?"

  "Yes and yes. We did an MRI on her after we called her doctor for medical records. Unfortunately, the tumor is growing compared to her last scan. The main tumor has grown spindles across the base of her brain." Dr. Benson shook her head, "I'm so sorry."

  "How much longer?" I asked my voice hoarse. The doctor looked so sad for Kinsey, this stranger she had just met, that I immediately felt bad for analyzing her in my head.

  "I'm not a brain doctor Mr. Daniels. Nevertheless, this tumor is aggressive. I would say two, three months. I am really so sorry. I hate seeing these kinds of cases."

  I nodded, aware that Cameron had put his hand on my shoulder. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

  Dr. Benson grabbed my hand. "You can come see her now."

  Cameron stood there awkwardly as I started following the doctor toward the end of the hallway. I motioned for him to come along and relief washed over him.

  Kinsey’s room was located at the end of one of the maze like hallways. Everything smelled like antiseptic and bleach. The lights blinded me reflecting off the too-white tiles.