Love, Kinsey Read online

  Colby was home when we got back and I rushed into the guest room with Jamie and Courtney in suit, leaving Mama to talk to him.

  “Hey I’ve got a great idea. I think we should go get a tattoo!” Jamie cried out. Courtney just laughed.

  “Honey, I think you had too much wine at lunch.”

  “Hell no I didn’t. Let’s do it. We need to get matching ones. Come on,” she pleaded, “we’ve constantly talked about it but never went through with them.” She took hold of my hand and got down to one knee.

  “Girl, quit it. You’re acting crazy.” I laughed, but excitement coursed through me. I had always wanted a tattoo, but never went through with it. Colby had several, as did a few of my exes.

  I sighed, “Okay, let’s do it.” Courtney and Jamie both squealed with delight.

  ***

  An hour later, I was sitting on a loveseat in the waiting area of the tattoo parlor down the street. Colby had asked if he could come with us and the girls gave the green light.

  Jamie was in the chair towards the rear. We had picked out three puzzle pieces that fit together and in each piece would one of our initials. We decided to put it on our left wrist. I thought it looked pretty cool, Colby joked if I was going to get a tattoo I should just go all out and get a sleeve.

  I stood and walked back to Jamie who had a hand over her eyes. “You scared Jay?” She didn’t respond, instead held out her right hand so I could catch it. The tattoo artist person laughed. I knew him from high school; he had been a grade or two above us, but I couldn’t remember his name and he didn’t offer it to us.

  “You ready?” he asked in a raspy voice. Jamie nodded and he got to work. She drew in a breath through gritted teeth when the needle hit her skin. Her hand clenched mine the entire 15 minutes it took for the tattoo to get finished. Jamie finally opened her eyes when he said,

  “All done lady.” She stared at her wrist in amazement.

  “It’s so pretty!” She exclaimed. I quickly agreed. I was anxious to receive mine, butterflies flying around in my tummy. I felt my heart beat faster and faster as I took my turn in the hot seat.

  “Here we go.” Tattoo Guy said. I kept my eyes opened and trained on my wrist as he went to work. It was a rather amazing process really. Colby stood next to me, but then wandered off looking at the flash art hanging on the wall.

  “So cool.” Courtney whispered. I could tell she was a tiny bit nervous, her skin had paled a tiny morsel. I looked up at her and nodded, a huge grin on my face.

  When mine was finished I whistled softly. The puzzle pieces were outlined in dark blue, but the insides were shaded with a faint pink. Our initials were in purple: J, K, C. It was simple, yet sweet and I was enamored with it.

  “Nice Kins.” Colby whispered, coming up behind me. He lowered his mouth to my ear and said, “It’s kind of a turn on.” I turned around and kissed him in return.

  “Just adding on to my sex appeal.” I jested. Colby shook his head slightly. He kissed me again and walked to the other side to look at more flash art.

  Courtney was more vocal than us while she was being worked on. It was a little comical but I tried to hold back my laughter.

  Jamie, on the other hand, teased her saying, “Girl, you’ve pushed a baby out of your hoo-hoo, surely this is a cake walk.”

  “I was on drugs when that happened, Jamie. Sue me.”

  Courtney bared her teeth and I turned around so she couldn’t see my smile.

  “You girls suck. I’m not a baby!” Courtney exclaimed. Her cheeks were flushed, “You brats are lucky, I haven’t even gotten a tat with my own son’s name, yet I’m getting our initials.”

  “I know, sweetie and I think it’s awesome. You’re a great friend.” I soothed. Soon she was finished and grimaced with pain while Tattoo Guy wrapped her up.

  “This has been quite the day ladies.” I announced, linking my arm with both of them. I looked at Jamie and then Courtney and felt a sense of satisfaction settle over me. I loved these girls, through thick and thin. We had been through so much together. I would miss them, but I had been truly blessed with two amazing long term friendships. Not many people are that lucky.

  I kissed them both on the cheek as we walked out of the tattoo shop and jumped into the Durango with Colby at the wheel.

  Chapter 17

  KINSEY

  "Mama, are you sure you're okay with this?" I asked, turning slowly in the mirror. My dress was perfect, a very simple sleeveless empire waist sweetheart gown. Elegant beading embellished the waist, but wasn't too loud.

  "Baby girl, why wouldn't I be okay with it? It's clear Colby wants to be your husband very badly, no matter what. I'm happy. I'm extremely happy for you."

  "Took me dying to get married," I said dryly. My mom frowned and I immediately apologized, "Sorry. I just mean we should've done this a couple years ago. I knew it was something he always wanted."

  "Well the past is the past. All that matters is today. And today you are the most beautiful bride in the world." She smiled at me and kissed my forehead. When she pulled away, her eyes were glistening with tears.

  "Thank you very much for pulling this all together so last minute. Everything looked gorgeous out there." And it was true. With having such a short notice, my Type-A personality mom had pulled everything off brilliantly.

  We had kept the guest list short; only close friends and family were invited. Mom picked out the venue at her country club which had a beautiful gazebo Colby and I would stand under. Everything was absolutely gorgeous!

  I had always envisioned this dream wedding with the dream man I had been waiting for. While I thought the others were a perfect fit for me, Colby ended up being the final man to steal my heart. He ended up becoming my last soul mate.

  Jamie and Courtney were my joint maids of honor. When we had gone shopping for my dress, they went ahead and picked out theirs as well.

  Jamie had picked out a sweet and simple strapless one that was incredibly girly with an intricate sequin bodice. Courtney had decided on a dress with a similar decorated bodice but with a halter-top neckline.

  They entered the room and both gasped.

  "Oh Kins! You look even more gorgeous than you did in the bridal store! Holy guacamole girlfriend, you're a princess!” Jamie exclaimed. She quickly fanned her eyes and rolled her eyes upward.

  "Don’t cry, Jamie! Silly girl!"

  "I can’t help it; you just look like an angel." Jamie looked at me and smiled wide. Her strawberry blonde curls were forced into a loose bun, with tiny white flowers adorning the top of her head like a tiara. She looked gorgeous.

  "Jamie's right, you look amazing sweetheart!" Courtney stepped up and gave me a hug. Her dark brunette hair was loose and her curls cascaded down her back. She was a no frills girl but did have a shiny heart clipped to the side.

  "Well you both look stunning, thank you again for being up there with me."

  "Pssh, even if you hadn't asked me, I would've still made sure I was a part of it anyway," Jamie joked. She came behind me and helped fluff out my dress a bit. She fussed some more with my back, making sure everything looked perfect.

  Soon all three women were crossing last-minute items off some list they had while I studied the clock. My stomach was in knots, but the good kind. A million butterflies had seemed to make themselves at home there.

  Suddenly my daddy walked in. He was in a dark gray suit with a flower pinned to his chest. He had slicked his graying hair back, and I could tell he had groomed his usually unruly beard and mustache. He looked so handsome. My very first love.

  "Kinsey, good Lord, you are a sight to behold." His chin trembled and he cleared his throat. "Are you ready darlin'?"

  After kissing his face, I nodded. His cologne, the same one he had been using my entire life, strangely calmed me down. "I'm ready. Are you, don't start crying on me old man," I chided gently. He scoffed and took my hand. Jamie and Courtney took their bouquets and my mom handed me mine.

  "Alright,
let's go get you married young lady." Mama declared.

  ***

  COLBY

  Don’t cry. Don't you cry. Don’t cry.

  My mantra wasn’t working as Kinsey began to walk down the aisle, on the arm of Ray. There were no words to describe how heavenly she looked. We locked eyes and she smiled shyly at me. I mouthed, ‘I love you' and she returned the sentiment.

  I glanced over at Jolene who beamed proudly. I was so thankful for her. Keaten, my best man, nudged me and I looked at him. He was all smiles. Everyone was in such a great mood, so happy for us.

  Finally, Kinsey and Ray reached the alter. He kissed her forehead and announced he was the one giving her away.

  The minister started with the usual, “We are gathered here today.” I couldn’t focus on his words. Everything faded, blurred and Kinsey became my center. She rocked from heel to toe and back again. She was nervous and it was adorable.

  We had decided to write our own vows and I was hoping she would like it. And that I wouldn’t screw up delivering my lines.

  I focused my attention back to what the pastor was saying.

  “As a couple, each of us unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us – with that one person – we are safe and in our paradise.

  “The one we choose to spend our lives with is someone who shares our deepest longings and our sense of direction in looking towards the future.

  “Colby and Kinsey, you have each written vows for the other. You, Kinsey may read them first.”

  Kinsey smiled as she pulled a folded paper from within her bouquet of daisies. Soft laughter rippled from the audience. She gave her bouquet to Courtney and unfolded her vows.

  “Colby – I promise for as long as I’m alive, to be the best wife I can be. To protect you, to love you, to cherish you with every ounce of my essence. You are my last love, the love that will always remain the strongest. I love you Colby and being your wife will be my most treasured title and role.” Kinsey’s voice was strong and steady, but her hands slightly shook. She folded the note back and retrieved her bouquet. Her eyes widened in comical relief as she took in a breath.

  “Whew,” She whispered and flashed a big grin. There was more laughter from the audience. I reached into my tuxedo and took my vows out next.

  “Kins, everything changed the day I met you. My whole world turned upside down and leaned on its axis. I knew then that I had to have you.

  “These last few years have been the best of my life. You have given me such a beautiful love that nothing else can compare to.

  “Every minute of our marriage will be a Godsend, every hour and day a blessing. You are answering a long-time prayer of mine and for that, I will forever be grateful. I love you, until the end of time.”

  I folded the paper up and willed my heart to stop beating so hard against my chest.

  Kinsey had tears in her eyes. She mouthed, ‘Thank you’ and I smiled in response.

  The ceremony continued unabated. The pastor read a poem and scripture. Finally, it was time for the traditional marriage vows.

  Casson came up with the ring bearer pillow. He was debonair in his tux and had a serious expression etched on his face. Courtney had confided before the ceremony, that Casson was determined to be, in his words, “the best ring boy in the whole world.”

  A pang of guilt hit my heart that Kinsey and I would never share joy over having a child together. I promptly threw the thought aside. Today was not the day to think about such things.

  Kinsey and I repeated the vows and finally we sealed our union with a kiss.

  Cheers and applause erupted as our kiss continued. We eventually broke apart and I gazed at my new wife. She was glowing with bliss and I locked the moment in my memory to last there forever.

  Chapter 18

  KINSEY

  I was so hung over the day after our wedding.

  Not from drinking, but instead of the pure joy of everything. The wedding was all I had ever wanted and dreamed. My mom did a fantastic job.

  The reception was untroubled and carefree. My mom had it catered by Stan at Old May’s. The DJ was an aging family friend.

  One of the most heart-wrenching moments was dancing with Daddy. He had never been much to draw attention to himself. One of my mom’s favorite stories to tell was the one of their wedding when he forwent the traditional bride and groom dance. It had made her so mad, but that was my dad.

  While the song played my dad slowly twirled me around.

  We didn’t say a word to each other, yet everything was said between us in those minutes. When the song ended he kissed my forehead and whispered, “I love you baby girl.”

  I had to excuse myself to the ladies room after that.

  It was such a flawless day. I was so glad it happened. I hoped the happy memories would last for the rest of

  Colby’s lifetime because they would for me.

  My parents and Keaten had rented a room at a bed and breakfast in Lubbock so we could get away for the remainder of the week. It would be our honeymoon, even if it wasn’t a far off destination. Neither of us wanted to travel far anyway.

  Time was running out. I would die a newlywed, I knew it. The nosebleeds were more frequent, sometimes I kept them from Colby, and other times they just happened right in front of him. His forehead had permanent lines etched into it from frowning so much.

  Our honeymoon week was full of fun. We visited an aquarium, a zoo, and a ton of different museums. We went to a dollar movie theater and spent a whole entire day watching movies back-to-back. It was absolutely perfect. I fell in love more with Colby during that time, which I didn’t even think was possible.

  We didn’t speak of the future at all. We took each day as it came and tried to make the most of it. At night I would sit on the bed with my laptop and worked on my story or finish letters on my legal pad.

  I felt content. I felt whole, complete. I felt like I was ready to die. Now it was merely playing the waiting game.

  ***

  When we returned home, we came to a houseful of people. Friends and family filled our decorated house.

  Jamie and Courtney stood in front, wearing proud smiles.

  The party lasted until the early morning hours. My parents headed home hours earlier. They had aged right before my eyes. My dad had dark circles under them.

  Co-workers, friends from school, long lost cousins came and talked to me, gave me presents, cried over me.

  It was a going away party. And I relished every second.

  Colby had disappeared for an hour and I went in search of him. He was outside, in the corner of our back yard drinking a beer and gazing up at the inky sky.

  “Hello Mr. Daniels.” I whispered wrapping my arm around him.

  “Hello Mrs. Daniels.” He whispered back. His voice was slurred and indistinct.

  “Are you drunk Mr. Daniels?” I teased. He looked me in my eye and smiled crookedly.

  “A little. Not enough. Are you having fun?”

  “Yes, but I’m getting tired.”

  “Are you feeling okay?”

  “Sure baby. I’m good.” I snuggled up closer to him, taking in his musky scent. He sighed softly resting his head on mine.

  “I love you so damn much.” He whispered. His hands roamed my backside lazily. Heat erupted in the pit of my belly.

  This would be our last chance to make love. The thought whispered in the back of my mind and the fire grew more. I reached a hand up and cupped Colby’s smooth face.

  “Take me Colby. Right here and now. I don’t think we’ll have another chance.”

  Colby growl rumbled in the back of his throat and he pulled my body closer to his. We kissed hard, his lips crashed down on me. When he pulled back I was gasping for air. I grabbed both of his hands and slowly took him down to the grass. He lay his body on mine gently and kissed me again, pressing into me ever so softly.

  “No, let me take control. Please,” I demanded breathlessly. He nodded and r
olled onto his back. I climbed on top of him, shedding the skirt I was wearing. His hands roamed my chest and I quickly took my shirt off. The warmth from his fingers as they gently took a hold of my bare breasts made me gasp.

  I took him in and rode him to ecstasy. It was amazing, the best sex I had ever experienced. It was beautiful, sensual and sensitive. When we finished, I collapsed onto the grass next to him. We both panted for air.

  “Shit, that was hot. That was incredible.” Colby complimented. I turned toward him and smiled.

  “Ditto.” We lay there for a few seconds and then stood up to rejoin the party.

  ***

  COLBY

  I was spent, these last few months had been exhausting but fulfilling. Kinsey and I fell into a normal routine.

  While she wasn’t officially working, she would still visit the newspaper office, spending all day with Rosemary.

  Other days she would visit her parent’s farm, doing small farm chores throughout the day, helping her mom bake or sit outside watching her dad till the earth.

  I had this overwhelming belief that the end was near. I tried to push it away, hold on to hope, but it never went away. I would feel panicked if she was away for too long. I had this obsession to be with her at all times and I held it at bay so she could go do her own thing.

  It was hard. The hardest thing I had been through.

  Exactly three months after our wedding, at the beginning of Fall when the winds blew all day and the leaves were blanketing the ground, Kinsey fainted at the farm.