Snodgrass, Catherine Read online

  "Sit wherever you like. Wherever you'd feel most comfortable."

  Dani aimed for the sofa, then changed her mind and opted for the brown recliner. Dr. Roberts eased into the black one and leaned forward, forearms on knees. Open, inviting...so far.

  His age was hard to determine. Dani guessed him to be somewhere in his forties. There was a sprinkling of silver in his blond hair. His blue eyes were bright behind his glasses and crinkled at the corners. His hands showed no visible sign of age, but the silver wedding ring on his finger looked like it had been there for a while-the luster had faded.

  She glanced around the room again. There were no family pictures, nothing to distinguish the man himself, except for a personality that leaped out at her, made her want to trust him. Dani's tension eased. Maybe this was going to work out after all.

  "I'm so glad you decided to come see me."

  Like she had a choice. "Dr. Edwards and I came to an arrangement."

  "He can be stubborn." A broad smile cut across his face. "Somehow I get the impression you can be too."

  She tilted a nod his way. "Very perceptive, Dr. Roberts." It was hard not to like this man.

  He laced his fingers together. "Alec explained the difficulty you've been facing. Before you and I get into all of that, I just want to tell you that what you fear is common. Most of us fear death at one time or another."

  Dani stared at her lap. "To this degree?"

  "It's hard to say since many people choose to deal with fear in their own way."

  She found herself nodding, smiling. "That would be me."

  "You've had a lot of life-threatening experiences thrown at you these last few days. That would have a profound affect on anyone. Almost like death keeps missing you and getting the guy next to you by mistake."

  Tears rushed to her eyes. She squeezed them back. Dr. Roberts covered her hand with his.

  "I've always been afraid," she said, her voice shaking from the effort to maintain control. "For as long as I can remember. I don't understand and I've never been able to explain it."

  "Probably something from childhood. Something innocuous to an adult, but grand to a child. Something your mind built on. We might be able to discover what that was. But you have to keep in mind that learning what started it is only a portion of the battle. You've had this fear a long time. Overcoming it, even once you know the source, will be a long process."

  Dani flicked away a tear. "Then what's the point? I've been doing just fine."

  "Not according to Dr. Edwards."

  "Alec exaggerates."

  "No, he doesn't. He wouldn't have come to me if he hadn't felt the need." He gently shook her hand. "Aren't you the least bit curious to discover where all this came from?"

  That much she would admit to, but she couldn't see the point in finding out and said as much to him.

  "What harm would it do to find out? You'll be no worse off than you are now," he said. "And it might do some good."

  Again, he had a point. Resigned to get it over with, Dani blinked her eyes clear and leaned into the chair.

  "All right. I suppose we're talking about something like hypnosis."

  He raised his right hand. "I promise I won't make you cluck like a chicken."

  Laughter bubbled from her throat. "I really don't think it works that way."

  "Right." He tapped her knee. "I'm glad you are aware of what we're dealing with."

  "I do have one or two conditions. First, no one is to know what we uncover."

  He tilted his head to one side. "Not even if it helps someone else?"

  Oh, good point. "Only to help someone else."

  "Done...and second?"

  "If something...if it becomes too much, I want to be brought back quickly. We need a signal."

  "I'll bring you back on the word 'grapefruit.' The signal will be when you tell me to say the word. Control will be in your hands."

  That was good enough for her. "Then let's get started."

  "Sit back and relax. I'll be recording the session unless you have any objection."

  Dani didn't. Now that the decision had been made, she just wanted to get on with it. After the mundane tasks of preparation, her answering questions from a form, him setting up the recorder, it was time. She clutched the arms of the recliner as she eased back.

  "Okay, Dani, close your eyes and lift your arm. Listen to the sound of my voice and follow my direction. You are safe. You will remain safe. Relax. Your arm will feel heavy. You may drop your hand, but not your arm. Slowly, very slowly."

  His voice soothed her, pulled her downward. She was in control-she felt it. It was twilight sleep, nothing more. At any moment, any time she desired, she could awaken.

  "Very, very good. Now go back. Go back to that time, that place when you first experienced that fear."

  Panic enveloped her. Dani fought it. She had to know, wanted to know. She pushed backward, despite the urge to scream. And slowly she went back to that place, that place where she had died. Tears choked her.

  "It's all right, Dani. You're safe. Tell me where you are."

  Ira watched the young woman before him, her strength of will. Not many patients were as easy to put under as she had been. Most fought or made fun of the process. In fact, he expected her to battle the entire way. Yet, here she was right at the point of the problem. This was good proof she was willing to do what it took to work this through. He adjusted his glasses on his nose and pulled his notepad closer.

  "Where are you, Dani?"

  Her reply was a language similar to Spanish. Not uncommon considering she was bilingual and a teacher. Her logical mind fought against the knowledge she was trying to uncover.

  "In English. I must be able to understand you so I can help, Dani."

  She snorted. "Why are you calling me that? I am not this Dani. I am Adia."

  Ira looked at her over the rim of his glasses. This was a joke. Alec Edwards was playing a joke on him. Everyone on the staff knew of his interest in reincarnation. He shook his head. Alec wasn't the type. His heart leaped at the possibility.

  "Where do you live?"

  "Kourion by the sea."

  Impossible! He drew in a breath and leaned forward. "And the year?"

  "I died. The earth shook. The walls crushed us all." She began to weep. "I thought we would be together forevermore in life, not in death."

  "Shh. Who is with you?"

  "Demetrius. He came back for me to die in his arms. And Sozo, my baby, our baby."

  "So you, your husband, and baby died in an earthquake."

  Dani shook her head. "He was to be my husband...finally. He was not there for me in the beginning. How cruel that he would be with me in the end." She started to hyperventilate. "The pain. I cannot move. The blocks. It is darkening. I am afraid."

  "Come forward. Come away from that. You are safe."

  He paused while he waited for her to give him the signal to bring her out. It never came. She sat there like a statue, her arm dangling as if held in place by a puppetmaster.

  "You are away from that place now and safe."

  She shook her head. "Away, not safe. They are to stone me."

  Her voice was different, older. So, the woman she called Adia had not died. "Who."

  "In the arena. The crowd. I am with child. How can they call me a harlot? I am the daughter of a senator. Where is Marcus? He promised he would be here. He promised he would save me. And now..." She smothered a muffled scream. "They have started."

  Ira tossed his notes aside and scooted to the edge of his chair. "What city? What time?"

  Whimpering, she ducked. "What does it matter?"

  "Tell me."

  "Rome in the year four hundred." She cried out and gasped for breath. "Pain. It hurts. No more. Marcus..."

  He grabbed for her and pulled back. There was no signal, and he debated on whether or not she could even give it. "Come out of there. Dani, can you give me the signal?"

  Her breathing slowed. He reached for her
pulse and pressed hard to feel it. "Grapefruit, Dani! Grapefruit!"

  Air filled her lungs. She gasped. "Cannot breathe. How much more? I am drowning. Lord, please let them see I am not a witch."

  Ira dropped her hand and snapped to his feet. Good God, who is she now? Where is she now? Her accent was German. The time?

  "Who are you?" The question came out shaky. It had every right to. In his wildest dreams and wishes, Ira never thought he would actually stumble onto a case like this. And it scared the hell out of him.

  "Greta. I am the village milkmaid. I did as Carl instructed. He is the doctor. It was not magic which brought the child back. Yet they blame me. It is Helga. She is jealous because Carl chose me and not her sister. If only he would return." She held her breath, choked, and gasped.

  Ira was beginning to see a pattern here. The problem would be to convince Dani of that...if he could bring her back.

  "Enough of this. Dani, you haven't given me the signal, but I'm bringing you back. The word is grapefruit and you will come back to the present now."

  She was quiet so long he was afraid he had lost her. Not her body-her pulse beat strong beneath his fingers. Her mind. He didn't doubt for a minute what he was witnessing. He'd always believed reincarnation existed and he'd devoured every piece of literature on the subject. What he doubted was his ability to deal with it now that his fondest desire had come true. Above all, he needed to maintain his objectivity.

  "They are bombing us again," she said in the voice of a young Englishwoman. "Will they never stop?"

  London? Germany? France? Where the hell was she now? How many more lives?

  "Where is your man?"

  "Derek was to meet me here at the rail station. He did not make the train. Then the planes came..." A smile curved her lips. "I hear him. He's digging for me. Shouting my name. I can feel the air." She lifted her arms, and then dropped them. Tears drifted down her face. "The baby is gone. Tell me there will be others. Tell me we will be together forevermore."

  Ira felt his own eyes tear up. It was clear what had happened. He was at a loss to know what to do. Was there more? He calculated her age, the last estimated time. Possible.

  "Come...come forward." It was a strain to get the words past the lump in his throat. Tragedy. A couple in love, never destined to be together. He watched her progression. "Who are you?"

  A sigh lifted her shoulders. "Dani Morgan."

  "Does this body house the soul of others?"

  "Only one soul."

  Bad question. "Has this soul been others?"

  She nodded. "I have been Adia, Octavia, Greta, and Miriam. Now I am Dani."

  "And the men you have loved. Did they possess the same soul?"

  A grimace twisted her face. "Oh, yes...he is the same...always."

  He swallowed hard. "And does he exist now?"

  Dani began to hyperventilate.

  "Does he exist now?"

  "I can't answer."

  "You must."

  "No."

  "Who, Dani? You want to tell me. Tell me! Who, Dani?"

  Her nails dug into the fabric. "I will die if I let him in. It is almost summer. He will not be there for me. He will not save me. He has never been there when I needed him most."

  "Say the name."

  Her eyes flashed open, but she was still under. "It's Alec! Give me the signal! Oh, please, God, give me the signal!"

  "Grapefruit!"

  With a shudder, she broke through and flashed a wild-eyed gaze around the room. "No," she breathlessly exclaimed. "No!"

  Before he could stop her, Dani ran for the door. She wrenched it open and slammed full force into Alec Edwards.

  He caught her in a gentle hold, and Ira could see the affection buried in the look he gave her.

  "Dani, sweetheart, what-"

  "Let me go!" She jerked away, whipped around him, and tore down the hall.

  Alec whirled around on him. "What the hell happened? You were supposed to help her, not do that!"

  Ira raked his shaking fingers through his hair and then down his neck.

  "What happened?"

  "I...can't tell you."

  "The hell you can't." He shoved by and toward the tape.

  Ira grabbed his sleeve. "Don't, Alec."

  He shrugged him off. "What is it? Was she raped? Molested? Threatened? Did a brother or sister die?"

  "I can't tell you, Alec. She asked for confidentiality. And I don't have time to argue with you. I have to find Dani. In her state, there's no telling what she'll do."

  He shut and locked his door and took off down the hallway. Alec stomped along beside him. They caught up with her as the elevator doors started to close. Alec wedged his arm between them, opening them once more.

  Dani's eyes were wide and tearful as she looked from one to the other. "I'm going to my room. I'd like to be alone for awhile."

  Ira saw the war of emotions in Alec's face. Then, reluctantly, they both stepped back and let her go.

  * * *

  Dani had never been more frightened in her life. Whatever Dr. Roberts had helped her uncover was bad, that much she knew. The details could remain a mystery as far as she was concerned. All she did know was that she had to leave...now.

  She shoved her bra into the small overnight bag with the other clothes. The damn thing wouldn't go on with stitches in the way. She'd have to do without. She jammed her feet into her tennis shoes and slung the bag over her shoulder.

  There was only a small window of opportunity here. Alec would try to stop her. He might even succeed. As for the nursing staff and her police guard, all the screeching in the world wouldn't do any good.

  Dani darted into the hallway, making a straight line to the elevator. By the time the nurse and McLane realized she was packed to go, she would be safely in the elevator and on her way down. They would call down. Efforts would be made to stop her. To hell with them all.

  As the doors opened on the ground floor, Dani saw her goal ahead. Pressing her breasts tightly in place to keep them from bouncing and ripping her stitches, she ran for the exit and the bus stop ahead.

  * * *

  Chapter Thirteen

  "That's the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever heard!" Alec jerked his thumb into his chest. "I'm her doctor. I have a right to know what went on. It directly reflects her physical well- being."

  "No, it does not."

  Ira's response was calm, rational, and damned annoying. It was virtually impossible to argue with him when he wouldn't argue back. The blasted pager at Alec's waist didn't help either. Each time he got a good case going for himself, the damned thing beeped.

  "Aren't you going to answer that?" Ira pointed to it. "That's the third time it's gone off."

  "I know how many times it's beeped," Alec pushed out through barred teeth. He snatched it from his side, glanced at the display, and then threw the device into the trashcan. "Where's your damn phone?"

  Eyebrows raised, Ira pointed to the oak paneled screen.

  "Don't even think about trying to analyze me!" Alec stomped to the phone.

  "I wouldn't dream of it."

  Sarcasm. Great. Just what he needed right now. How 'bout a little cooperation instead. He pounded each number on the dial, wishing he could jam the suckers through the faceplate.

  Betty picked up on the other end, efficient, no nonsense. Good, because he didn't have time for games.

  "This is Dr. Edwards. What did you want?" He was short, nasty even. Apologies could come later.

  "I'm sorry, doctor. I didn't realize you already knew."

  "Knew what?"

  "That Miss Morgan packed her things and ran out of the hospital. We-"

  "How in the hell can one woman get by a police officer and station filled with nurses?"

  "Sir, we never expected-"

  "Well, you should have." He slammed the receiver down so hard the cradle chipped.

  Grabbing it again, he punched in Dani's home number, and then drummed his fingers on the desk whil
e he waited for her answering machine to pick up. The message was perky, pleasant-his was not.

  "Dani, I want you back at this hospital now." Alec made a move to hang up, and then lifted the receiver once more. "Better yet, I'm coming over there to drag you back here." He tossed the receiver in place.

  "You need to calm down for a minute." Ira slid his hand over his shoulders.

  Alec shrugged it away and stomped toward the door. "What I need is for you to get out of my way."

  "Stop and think for a second-if you're capable of that right now," Ira shouted to his back. "She couldn't have gone far. She had no transportation. You know how notoriously slow the cabs are in responding. Even if Dani called a friend to get her, not enough time has passed for that person to get here."

  Ira was right. Alec braced himself against the wall in an effort to rein in some measure of control. Deep breaths. Calm.

  Ira placed that solicitous hand over his shoulder again. "Check the front entrance. She could still be there."

  Nodding, Alec pushed away, yet refused to meet Ira's gaze. He had made a fool of himself, lost all recognition of control and gone stark raving mad. All because Dani had run from the hospital, because she was afraid and he wasn't allowed to know why. He felt helpless when all he wanted was to be there for her, to let her know she could depend on him.

  Yeah, she's really going to feel that way when she gets that phone message.

  "I'll go with you. She may need-"

  "No." Alec pressed his lips together before he could say anything else he would regret later.

  But Ira refused to be ignored. "In her current state I doubt she'll come to me."

  "I know she won't. She didn't want to in the first place. I should have listened to her. I won't make that mistake twice." Not when I'm making so many others.

  Not waiting for a rebuttal from Ira, Alec hurried to catch the elevator to the ground floor. His colleague was no more than a step behind him.

  Just as Alec took a heated interest in the physical welfare of his patients, Ira was equally concerned for the mental well-being. It was the primary reason Alec chose to speak with him in the first place. Now Alec wished he had never gotten him involved. Ira would be as voracious as he in seeing to Dani's health.