Snodgrass, Catherine Read online

  Silently he followed Alec into the elevator, to the ground floor, and the entrance to the hospital. Together they scanned the area for some sign of Dani. Nothing. She was well on her way home...to that horrendous message he left on her machine.

  Alec dug a quarter from his pocket and marched to the nearby bank of pay phones. She would listen to all her messages. He had one chance to fix this. He rehearsed his speech while he waited for the answering machine to pick up. Once it did, he was tongue-tied.

  "Dani...sweetheart...that last message...I was a jerk." Again. "Again. I just went crazy when I heard you left. You scared the hell out of me when you ran out of Roberts's office. I'm on my way to..." Take care of you. To hold you. "I'm coming over and-"

  "There she is." Ira jerked his arm toward the street. Alec followed the direction indicated. There, huddled on the aluminum bench by herself, was Dani. He hung up the phone and wiped the sweat from his palms.

  "It would be best if you approached her alone," Ira said. "She'll come back in if you ask her."

  He kept his gaze focused on Dani, willing her to stay put. "How do you know? She's probably so mad at me right now for talking her into seeing you in the first place-"

  "From what I understand, you didn't talk her into anything. She agreed with conditions of her own."

  True. No one talked Dani into anything she didn't want to do. She was too strong a woman for that. It was that strength he admired and also feared. Dani could stand on her own quite well. If she faltered for any reason, there was a devoted web of family and friends ready to support her. What the hell did she need him for?

  * * *

  Dani listened to the footsteps come closer. Some part of her knew it was Alec. There was no need to verify that by looking over her shoulder. Silly as it sounded, she felt him reaching out to her-a force so strong it was hard not to run to it.

  No, let him come to you.

  The effort exhausted her. At least that annihilating fear had dissipated, but it left her weak, vulnerable.

  Dani shook away her rambling thoughts and concentrated on the man behind her.

  "You said I could leave after I spoke to Dr. Roberts."

  She expected him to stop. Instead, he walked around until he was in front of her, then squatted down and took her hands in his. They were shaking, as were hers.

  Dancing his thumb over her knuckles, Alec drew in a deep breath. "And I meant it. Just not this way. Come back inside and we'll have admin draw up the discharge papers for me to sign. I'm sure that will please your insurance company much more than having learned you left against medical advice."

  "That almost sounds like a threat."

  A semblance of a smile twitched his lips. "Yes, I suppose it does." Standing, he extended his palm to her. "Come in with me and we'll take care of this the correct way. I gave you my word. I intend to keep it. Trust me, Dani."

  She lifted her gaze from his outstretched hand to his deep brown eyes. Sincerity looked back at her from those obsidian centers. Dani slipped her hand into his and he gently pulled her to her feet and under the protection of his arm. Snagging her bag with his free hand, Alec led her inside.

  Dr. Roberts waited at the entrance, watching their progress. No doubt she had frightened him with her hasty exit. For that Dani was sorry. But as far as she was concerned, her obligation to see him, to speak with him, was complete. It had been to no avail. Whatever he had uncovered had only doubled her fear. She was back to where she had been before-fighting a battle to control a fear she could not explain. One which, after today, she didn't want to explain. She just wanted it to go away.

  "My office or back to the ward?" Alec asked.

  "I don't much care."

  "Did you leave anything in the room?"

  Dani shook her head. "Only the flowers, and they can be distributed to other patients."

  "Then my office. I'll be in and out. You'll be more comfortable there."

  Dr. Roberts fell in step behind them as they stepped through the door. Alec ignored him. That worked for her, but Roberts kept right on, sticking to their heels like a lost puppy. His persistence and Alec's lack of challenge cracked the door on suspicion.

  Alec asked for her trust. If he violated that now, she would never forgive him. It was best to know up front whose side he was really on.

  Dani jerked to a stop and pivoted from under his arm. The men stared at her, mouths slightly ajar, a cross between puzzlement and alarm as if they expected her to turn into a shrieking basket case at any second.

  All right, she would concede that point. Less than a half-hour before, she chose to do just that. But now the whole incident was nothing more than a faded memory, a hazy dream.

  "I'm beginning to feel like a calf being led to the slaughter house. Why are you following us, Dr. Roberts? If this is a trick-"

  "No." He raised his hands, warding off further accusations. "I just wanted to ask you a couple of questions."

  Alec shoved himself between them. "No more questions. She's been upset enough."

  "She's not upset now. Right, Dani?"

  That was true, but how did she know his questions wouldn't set her off? He took her silence as consent.

  "Do you remember anything?"

  "Nothing." And she didn't want to.

  "The entire session is taped. You might want to listen to it."

  Dani started shaking her head long before he finished. "I don't care what's on the tape. As far as I'm concerned, this matter is closed."

  "Don't you want to know what causes-?"

  "No." It was firm enough neither of them should have cause to doubt her intent.

  Alec cupped her elbow. Together they turned in the direction of his office. Footsteps echoed behind them. In unison they stopped and faced Dr. Roberts once more.

  "Now what?" Alec's tone was confrontational.

  The other man's rubber-soled shoes squeaked on the tile as he stopped. "I just want to watch."

  "Watch what?" they demand in unison.

  Roberts' gaze shifted between them while he struggled for a response. "I meant observe. I have to be certain you're all right."

  He had a point. Obviously, Alec thought so too. With Roberts in tow, they made their way to Alec's office.

  Using her bag as a pillow, Dani curled onto the tiny sofa. She was conscious of Roberts nearby watching, but Alec's actions were foremost in her mind as he set the wheels in motion to have her released.

  * * *

  Ira felt like a voyeur. Alec and Dani were clearly a couple even if they had yet to acknowledge that. Theirs was a centuries-old relationship about to be repeated. Hopefully, the result would not be as disastrous. Yet the pattern of the past seemed to doom them to failure. They had to break that pattern and Ira somehow felt it was up to him to see they got it right this time.

  He wiped away the sudden urge to laugh at his own imagination. The last thing he needed was to jump to conclusions based on one session with one patient. For years Ira had longed for a discovery like this and had all but given up hope of finding it. And here it was, the dream of a lifetime.

  His research must be thorough, without holes. He needed facts, proof. But how in the world could he proceed when his primary witness was unwilling?

  Oblivious to how she had affected his life, she slept in a little ball on that cramped sofa. All he knew about Dani Morgan was her extreme past, nothing about the woman who existed today.

  Logic. Think. Ira had to discount the possibility of false memories, of any preconceived notions Dani might have about the subject. Her background, her upbringing, religion, all had to be taken into consideration.

  He heard Alec hang up the phone. "You said she was a high school teacher. What subject?"

  "History. Why?"

  "Just curious." That would explain her knowledge of historical events. He snickered to himself. Or explain why she was drawn to history in the first place.

  Ira studied the second piece in the puzzle. Alec Edwards, a doctor now, a doctor
once in the past, according to Dani revelations. A logical stepping-stone would be to regress Alec to see if could pull the same information from him.

  No, not pull. He couldn't lead him in any direction. Alec would have to provide the information on his own. Ira couldn't see that happening any time soon. While Alec agreed with the need for psychiatric counseling, past lives simply weren't in the realm of possibility for him.

  "Are you in love with this woman?"

  "I just met her. How could I be in love with her? And her name is Dani."

  Ira hid a smile behind his hand. "All right. Bad choice of words. You are attracted to her, though, and you are planning a relationship."

  "Yes."

  His tone was defensive, as if daring Ira to say or do something about it.

  "That was rather quick. Why do you suppose that is?"

  He looked up in time to see Alec shrug. "It happens sometimes."

  "Has it ever happened to you?"

  "Yes...no...I don't know." He shoved himself to his feet. "Look, if you want to evaluate the rapid development of relationships, go to Kevin Samuels. He met Dani's best friend for the first time Friday night and the two of them are already planning to get married."

  Ira nodded. "Interesting. I think I will."

  There was a possibility of a second study, but it was Dani and Alec who held his attention despite the obstacles in uncovering information. With this tidbit of a clue, Ira was driven to delve into the full story. He had always liked Alec, admired him. And Dani, he had been drawn to her from the instant they met. All he had wanted to do was hug her close like a long-lost friend.

  "I have to do my rounds and pick up Dani's discharge papers. Can I trust you to keep an eye on her while I'm gone...with no funny stuff?"

  "No funny stuff." His reply was absentminded as he watched Dani sleep. When the door clicked shut behind Alec, Ira knelt on the floor beside her.

  The questions he could ask, if only she and Alec would cooperate. He made a mental note to speak with Kevin and his lady as soon as possible. Their story could be just as intriguing once he delved into it.

  Ira leaned against the sofa, close to Dani's arms. What was his own story? Did he have one? The earth certainly hadn't moved when he met his wife. In fact, their relationship progressed just about the same as everyone else's-slow, cautious. They had been married twenty years and had weathered good times and bad, and were still dealing with child-rearing. He couldn't picture himself with anyone else. Did they have a past...or a future?

  Ira wanted to know...needed to know. The possibility of a life without his wife felt empty, pointless. They had discussed past lives before. She was, thankfully, very open-minded. Maybe now was the time to look into that for themselves.

  Who was he? Where had he lived? What had he endured? Who did he know before that he knew now? Everyone had baggage in their life. How many people did that baggage haunt from life to life?

  The possibilities were endless, and Dani Morgan held the key to that door. True, she wasn't the only key. But she was the most promising. If only he could get more information, put her under one more time.

  Ira shifted to look at her more fully. She was sleeping, unaware that he sat cross- legged on the floor in front of her. He liked watching her at this level. It seemed more natural, more equal. Like a child at last finding his parent at his own level.

  He smiled. There were quite a few times when he had woken up to find one of his kids staring at him.

  Dani mumbled something unintelligible in her sleep. Ira cocked his head to one side. Just how deep in sleep was she? What were the chances that he could slip her back further?

  He shot a glance to the door. Alec should be gone for a while. No one would be the wiser and the value of what he could uncover would be...

  No. Ira settled against the sofa. What had happened to his ethics? What he proposed was unequivocally wrong. No matter what secrets were buried in her head, her far past, he refused to stoop that low. He'd get his answers someday. It might take him the rest of his life, but he'd get them.

  He rested his head on the cushion behind him-a little intimate since it was in the small space made by the curve of Dani's body.

  I should move.

  Before he realized it, Ira had drifted into twilight sleep-aware, but not awake. He let his mind wander wherever it wished, wrestling with his boys, snuggling with his wife, laughing with his parents. There was a small boy...running, giggling, reaching for his mama. Reaching...not his mother, but it was...it was...

  Ira scrambled to his feet. The sudden movement jerked Dani awake. Confused, she frowned up at him. He couldn't put two words together.

  Alec swung into the room. "All done. Ready to go home?"

  Dani snagged her bag. "More than ready."

  Ira forced his legs to move, to follow them into the hallway, and then he watched them walk away, Alec hovering protectively near Dani. The answers he had been looking for had just slammed into him with full force. They were disconcerting, to say the least. Now he understood the true nature of Dani's battle-to keep at bay the emotions of a life which no longer existed, to separate that past reality from the present. It was up to him to help her deal with it before all emotions, past and present, collided. Theirs was an old debt he had to pay. But he couldn't do so until he had thoroughly evaluated his new patient-himself.

  * * *

  Chapter Fourteen

  "This isn't the way to my house."

  Alec tensed, but kept his gaze focused on the freeway. Dani sounded like she was just about ready to accuse him of kidnapping.

  "I'm taking to you my apartment. I thought you could rest better there. I know it's not the same as your own place, but it will be less trafficked, for lack of a better word. Once all your friends and students learn you've been released, they'll beat a path to your door to help. You still need to recuperate. You can't do that if you're entertaining. At the hospital, the staff could protect you, but at home you'll have no barrier-"

  "Enough." She raised her hand. "I'm too tired to argue with you. Just take me by the house so I can get a few things."

  He was afraid to say anything more for fear she would change her mind. Following her directions, Alec pulled off the freeway, through crowded intersections, then into the quiet, tree- shaded residential area. Dani was guiding them back in the direction they had just come, but through back streets.

  "We could have made it quicker on the freeway."

  "Not at this time of day," she said. "Turn here."

  Alec glanced at his watch-nearly rush hour. They would have been stuck in bumper- to-bumper for God-only-knew how long. He took the street she indicated. The trees thickened. This was an old part of the city, similar to the streets leading up to the Rushmore cul-de-sac, but more used. The road had been patched so many times it looked like someone had splattered black paint all over place. In some spots, pieces of the original brick surface peeked through.

  The houses were still side-by-side, yet each was set away from the street and cozied up in nests of green. Happy, homey...

  "Right there."

  Alec glanced in the direction Dani pointed. An honest-to-gosh cobblestone drive led to a small house best described as belonging to Hansel and Gretel. Freesias and lilies leapfrogged each other along the driveway. Roses girdled the brown-shingled house. In a niche by the front door, a bed of irises burst into a variety of color. As he turned into the drive, a pair of hummingbirds zoomed to a feeder dangling before the latticed front window. It was quaint, warm, welcoming. It felt like...home.

  "What a great place!"

  Dani watched the delight in his face, and then looked at the house, seeing it through fresh eyes. She had always loved its fairytale quality made doubly special by the smell of her grandmother's oven-warm cookies and fresh baked bread. Somehow through the years, Dani had lost touch with that. Life had intruded. If it hadn't been for her father, all the love and care her grandmother had lavished on the yard would have been wasted. Dan
i hadn't had the time, didn't take the time. She had been too much in a hurry, too busy with...well, with things that just didn't seem that important now.

  "It is a wonderful place. It belonged to my grandparents. They sold it to me a few years ago before they moved to Arizona." Dani's gaze traveled over the lawn. The recent rain had really made it grow.

  "Looks like your grass could use cutting."

  She smiled. "Alec Edwards, mind reader."

  Chuckling, he cut the engine and draped his arm over the back of the seat. "More so than you think. If there is any doubt, let me make this perfectly clear. I may have agreed to release you from the hospital, but under no circumstances are you to even attempt to mow this lawn."

  Dani giggled. "I think my father would prefer it be done right. I was going to hire one of the kids from school."

  A frown drew his eyebrows together. "T.J. Costas?"

  The force with which he said the boy's name took Dani by surprise. She couldn't call his behavior jealousy. The intensity of it went beyond protectiveness to something much deeper, more meaningful. T.J. had shown a distinct lack of respect, and Alec took it as his personal duty to see it never happen again.

  No one had ever protected her that way. Her father forced her to stand on her own, to fight her own battles. The few men in the past hadn't cared either way. Most shrugged and looked the other way or snickered. But with Alec, respect would be demanded. No one would think otherwise, or they would deal with him. And to think she had been ready to run from him.

  He will not be there when you most need him.

  Dani forced the taunt away. He was a doctor. She did not have a monopoly on his time. He would be there if she really needed him. Alec had proven that.

  "There are some things you just shouldn't fight."

  Elsie was right, and this was one of them. Dani didn't know how long this was going to last, didn't want to think about the pain when and if he walked out of her life one day. But she did know one thing-she deserved, for once in her life to learn what it was like to succumb to passion.

  Alec settled back in his seat. "Forget it. I shouldn't have brought it up."