Unspeakable Truths Read online

  He grabs on to the armrests preparing to stand. “Good, I’ll let your mom know.”

  I don’t think before I ask. “It alright if I bring someone?”

  “You dating?” he probes, letting go of the armrests and settling into the chair again.

  “I’m seeing someone yeah, I would really like to bring her if that’s alright.”

  “Of course.”

  They need to know about Everly because as far as I’m concerned she’s permanent. I’m not letting her go, they need to understand and accept that.

  “I’ll call Mom and tell her myself but I’m telling you now, it’s Everly West.”

  “Fuck.” My father’s face goes dark as he leans forward resting his forearms on my desk. “Are you kidding me? That girl hated you, blamed you for her husband’s death, and now you’re telling me you’re seeing her.”

  I let out a sigh. I don’t blame him for not being thrilled. If I was in his shoes I’d probably be a bit leery too, but the last thing I want to do is have a walk down memory lane and rehash the past with my dad.

  “I let her think what Ty led her to believe was true. I didn’t want her to have to deal with the reality of what got him killed.”

  “And now she’s just fine with you?” he bellows, getting up and beginning to pace my office, the way he used to pace in front of me in the living room and lecture me when I was in trouble as a kid.

  I lean back in my chair again, try to keep my calm. I don’t want this to escalate into an argument. I just need him to know the facts and accept my choices. “Now she knows the truth Dad, she knows what happened and she’s okay with it now. She’s with me, and we’re happy.”

  “Forgive me, but I just don’t want to see you get hurt. You know I don’t involve myself in your personal business often, but I have to tell you I’m worried for you. You’ve paid for far too long for sins you did not commit.”

  “I love her.”

  He sighs, knowing that there’s nothing much he can say at this point, I’ve never declared my love for anyone, so he knows that if I’m saying it it’s true.

  “You love her… she love you?” he asks, pinching his nose between his thumb and forefinger. Ten minutes in my office and I’m already giving him a headache. This wasn’t how I planned for this conversation to go but I can tell by his stance that he’s going to let it go.

  “She loves me.”

  He makes no attempt to convince me that I’m making a mistake, offers me no advice on how to end things with Ev, says nothing further, he simply nods his head.

  “I’ll see you both on Saturday,” he says before walking out of my office. I wait till he’s gone then waste no time in picking up the phone and calling my mom. She reacts much the same way as my dad did when I tell her about Everly, but when I explain to her how things have changed she’s at least a little more open to the idea of me and Everly together.

  Everly was understandably anxious when I told her we were having dinner at my parents’ house. Given our history, she was worried about what they might think of us together and was not thrilled with having to face them just yet. I can see the hesitation on her face as I open the front door to my parents’ house. I grab on to her hand and give it a squeeze.

  “It’s going to be fine,” I say, hoping to comfort her. She still looks nervous, but she squeezes my hand in return and gives me a small smile and a nod.

  I walk with her hand in hand through the house leading her into the kitchen where I know my mom is cooking.

  “Hey mom,” I call, releasing Ev’s hand and coming around the center island to give her a hug.

  Her face lights up when she sees me, making me feel like a shit son for not making more time for her. “Hi sweetie.”

  I detach myself from her embrace with a smile and claim my girl’s hand again, wanting to keep her close. “Mom, you remember Everly.”

  “Of course, Everly, it’s very nice to see you,” she greets warmly, though I notice she doesn’t move to give her a hug or a kiss which is unlike my mother. She’s one of the most affectionate people I know.

  “It’s nice to see you too,” she replies, sounding a little too timid for my liking. “It smells really good in here, is there anything I can help you with?”

  I can tell my mom senses Ev’s apprehension, and she softens her gaze and gives her a more genuine smile. “I’ve got it all under control, why don’t you pull up a chair. I’ll get you a drink and we can chat.”

  “That sounds great.”

  I pull the counter height chair out for Ev, which earns me a smile and a soft “thank you.”

  “Luca, your father’s down in the man cave, let him know you’re here so you can install the garage door opener and be done with it.”

  Everly looks up at me, the thought of me leaving her alone with my mother makes her anxious, but she doesn’t say a word. I take a seat in the stool next to her and turn my attention back to my mother.

  “Mom, we just got here, can I spend some time with you first. There’s plenty of time for you and dad to put me to work.”

  She gives me a knowing look before moving to the wine rack, grabbing a bottle and glasses.

  “So how long have you two been seeing each other?”

  “Not long.”

  “A few months,” I amend her answer not wanting my mom to think this is a flash in the pan type of thing. She needs to understand the seriousness of this relationship. I see shock register in her delicate features, the fact that it’s been months and I haven’t said anything to her isn’t going over well.

  “It was my fault he didn’t tell you. I was just afraid of how everyone was going to react, and I wasn’t ready to deal with it. He wanted to say something; he just wanted to give me the time I needed.”

  This seems to pacify her, her face going soft again. She knows me well enough to know that if I really had wanted to tell her about my relationship with Ev, I would have. Which means Mom is reacting to the fact that Ev put the blame on herself for my own decision, so she’s also figuring out that Ev has my back and she likes that. She would want that for me, someone who’s not afraid to step into the line of fire for me.

  “I know you must be worried for Luca, because given our history we haven’t always seen eye to eye or been the best of friends, but I realize now that I was wrong about him, and I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him.”

  I want to bang on my chest and drag her out of here caveman style. I know she’s anxious to make a good impression on my mom, but she also hasn’t hesitated to stick up for us, to defend our relationship and I love her even more for it. She’s getting through to my mom too—I can tell by her less guarded stance, and the way she looks at us with less hesitation.

  “I’m glad that you understand why I would be a little apprehensive, but I’m not here to judge you or your relationship. Luca’s an adult, and I’m happy as long as he’s happy.”

  “Well then be happy Mom,” I say doing my best to reassure her.

  She looks at me a moment longer before turning away. I’m pretty sure she’s going to go easy on Ev now so when I finish my glass of wine, I excuse myself and go off to help my dad with the garage door repair. Everly seems a little bit more at ease as I go, and I’m satisfied that she’ll be able to get through this evening just fine.

  ~Everly~

  I thought I was going to have a panic attack when Luca left to go help his dad but thankfully I held my shit together. This is important, this is me and Luca proving to his parents…his mom specifically, that we’re the real deal. It might be the only chance I get to prove to her that I’m worthy of his love, and I can’t let him down. He would stand by me regardless, whether his mom loved me or hated me I know he’d still stay with me. He’d deal with that kind of tension in order for us to be together, but I don’t want him to have to do that. Especially when he’s already sacrificed so much for me.

  “So how are you doing now that you know the whole truth?”

  “I’m alright, but it w
as hard to hear the truth. I felt like all of that time I spent with Tyler was a lie, and I didn’t know how to come to terms with that.”

  “And now?” she asks thoughtfully.

  “Now it’s better, I’m learning how to let it go, accept it for what it was, understand that he loved me the best way that he knew how but also that he was severely flawed. I didn’t have a perfect relationship, and his lies cost us all a lot.”

  “That sounds about right.”

  “Luca’s helped me a lot.”

  “He has a good heart.”

  I nod in agreement and give her a timid smile. “It’s more than that, he loves me, and from the beginning he made sacrifices for me that I didn’t even know he was making, and I don’t know how I can ever repay him for that.”

  “Is that why you’re with him? Gratitude?”

  “No, it’s not about gratitude. I cared about him too in the beginning, I wanted him to like me, and I thought that he was mean to me because he hated me. But really it was the opposite and when he told me the truth about what really happened, that knowledge allowed me to slowly move on, and it allowed me to explore feelings that I had for Luca that were just hidden beneath the surface for a long time.”

  “So you really care about him.”

  “I really love him. I really do, and I didn’t think that would happen for me again, and it’s scary that it had to happen with Tyler’s best friend, but more and more I’m starting to believe that it was just meant to be.”

  “He deserves that, someone to believe in his love like that.”

  “I agree. I know I’m probably not what you would want for him.”

  She tilts her head giving me a confused look. “Why would you say that?”

  “Because ultimately you lost your son for four years, and now he’s back and he’s telling you that he’s in love with the one person who you probably blame for him leaving in the first place. He was blamed for things he never did, and I was in the center of all of that.”

  “But you weren’t the real reason right? I mean who dragged him nto the lies? Was it you?”

  “No. It was Tyler.”

  “Yes it was Tyler, and Tyler is gone; he’s not here to blame so I had to let that go. I never blamed you, and when I found out you were with Luca I was worried because I didn’t know where you were emotionally, but now I see you’ve got a hold on things. You know what’s right and real, and if you tell me you love my son then I believe you and I’m happy for you both.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief. For the first time since I set foot in this house, I feel like Luca’s mother accepts me, accepts us together, and that’s all I really wanted. Dinner goes off without a hitch not at all as uncomfortable as I thought it would be and though I was really nervous about coming tonight I’m really happy that I’m here.

  Luca gives my neck a squeeze with his free hand as he drives us to his apartment. I turn to face him and even though it’s dark I can easily tell that he’s happy and relieved. “You won my parents over tonight.”

  “They’re really great baby, you’re very lucky to have them, I’m just glad that they don’t hate me.”

  “No one could ever hate you.”

  “I don’t know about that, but I was really scared that they would.”

  “Nothing that happened in the past was your fault. You were left in the dark on a lot of things. We can all wish that things would have happened differently, but we still can’t change anything.”

  This is something that I’ve thought about a lot in the last few weeks. “I don’t know that I would change it if I could, it all happened for a reason right? And we’re together now. Who’s to say we would have lasted had we gotten together so young, maybe it just wasn’t our time.”

  “When did you get so smart and philosophical on me?” he questions making me laugh. “I love it when you laugh.”

  “There was a time not so long ago when I was afraid that I might never laugh again. You gave that back to me.”

  “You do the same for me. I never thought I’d have that from you.”

  “I love you Luca.”

  “I love you too Ev.”

  Luca came by this morning to help me box up the remainder of Tyler’s things. Actually, Luca came by to box up Tyler’s things on his own because he knew that I wouldn’t be able to ever do it without having a minor breakdown. Not because I’m still madly in love with him but because getting rid of those things signifies that I’m finally letting him go and I can’t help but to carry a little bit of guilt in that. I don’t know why I kept everything for so long but I realize that it’s not healthy for me to keep hold of the personal belongings of a man who’s no longer here. There are a few pictures and things that I’ll keep as a reminder and a lot of things that I’ll give to Tyler’s parents. I’m sure they’d like to have some of it.

  I finally got around to meeting with a realtor and after doing a walk through and appraisal she finally came by a couple of days ago and put a for sale sign on the front lawn. I know that I shouldn’t be but I’m shocked at how relieved I feel every time I look outside and see that sign out there. I’ve hated living here for so long, but I really thought that I’d be stuck here forever—that sign in my lawn is like being one step closer to freedom, one step closer to ridding myself of a house that has been like a prison to me since Tyler ceased to exist. I hate that I feel this way about a house that at one time held so much hope, a house that at one time contained all of my dreams for the future, but all of those dreams died with Tyler. It took some time, but I finally believe that I deserve to have a life beyond the pain, that I can have happiness again despite all of the heartbreak and as difficult as it’s been, I have Luca to thank for that.

  I’m finishing up loading the dishwasher after clearing all of the breakfast dishes when I hear the doorbell ring. For a minute I think that it might just me my mom dropping by unannounced again but I’m surprised to see Tyler’s parents standing on my front porch when I open the door. I haven’t seen them since having dinner with them a while back and by the looks on their faces, they are not happy with me.

  I look back and forth between them and greet, "Stella, Michael. How are you?"

  Stella’s posture is impeccable, her frame rigid and I can tell it costs her, but she gives me a tight smile nonetheless, "May we come in?"

  "Of course," I say opening the door wider to allow them access inside. If I couldn’t tell it before I can tell it now just by their demeanor and the expressions on their faces that this isn’t going to be a friendly visit.

  Michael turns to face me and clears his throat before hitting me with it. "Everly we got a disturbing phone call last night from one of your neighbors."

  I jerk my head not even bothering to try and hide the surprise on my face or the hint of hostility in my voice, "Excuse me? You got a phone call from one of my neighbors? Why would my neighbors be calling you?"

  He holds his hand up in an attempt to placate me, stop me from going off the rails. "Well we were obviously concerned for your well being, living here all on your own, a young widow never knowing from one day to the next if you’d be alright, so we asked them to keep an eye on you."

  I cross my arms along my chest holding them like a shield to protect me from the bullshit I know that they’re about to hit me with. I can not believe that they’ve had people watching me all this time. "I see and what disturbing news did the neighbors give you?"

  "Well for starters dear we were stunned when they mentioned that there’s been a man coming in and out of your house at all hours but we knew we had to get right over here when we heard about the sale sign on the lawn. Everly what are you thinking? We’re honestly concerned about you."

  Oh this is rich, this is un-frickin-believable that anyone would have the audacity to try and question what I do with my life. "With all due respect Michael, I’m an adult. Who I have coming in and out of my house is really none of your business. I’ve been on my own for four years, and if I feel like it’s time
for me to date, I have every right to do that. And I have the right to sell my house it if I want to. I don’t think this is the best place for me anymore."

  His face is red with ire—he actually thinks that he gets a choice here, that he has a right to dictate what I do and with whom I chose to move forward with. Or perhaps he’d rather just see me live my life alone forever, that’s the price I’m supposed to pay for loving and losing Tyler.

  "This is the house that my son built for you. You because you wanted it and now what? Now it’s not good enough for you? All of a sudden you’re beyond this, you’d rather leave it behind?"

  I take a deep breath trying to calm my emotions while at the same time steeling myself against the guilt trip that he’s throwing at me. I’ve spent way too long feeling guilty for every little thing where Tyler was concerned, I’ll be damned if I allow him to put me right back there, not after all of the progress I’ve made, not after what I’ve learned about the past about how this man pulled peoples strings like a puppet master weaving a story based on nothing but lies.

  "I did want this house. I wanted it so that I could live here with Tyler, I wanted to build a life here, a family, and I’m never going to get to do that! I’m never going to get any of those things with him. It’s a dream that cannot come true… ever…and I’m sorry if that upsets you, but it’s how I feel. I need to live my life, and I don’t want to do it in a house that reminds me of all of the things that will never be."

  I glare at Michael whose expression matches mine. Stella places a hand on his shoulder, likely trying to calm him down. She doesn’t look quite as upset as he does—I think she gets what I’m saying. If there was any hope of me breaking through to them it all goes to shit when they see Luca come waltzing down the stairs and into the foyer as if he owns the place.

  "Babe, what’s going on, I heard voices from upstairs."

  Stella’s eyes open up in shock as she lets out a gasp. "You? What are you doing in my son’s house?"

  Luca lets out a sigh; he knows what this is about for the most part. He also knows things are about to get ugly. "Hello Mrs. West, Mr. West."