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Soap Opera Uncensored: Issue 29

Weekly summary of soap opera's hottest news, stories, humour, gossip, blind items, fearless predictions, top stars/stories/couples/characters to watch, snark galore, review and analysis.INSIDE — Exclusive Interview: Part Two With GH’s Finola Hughes! Find Out If Robin Could Have A Twin; Whether Or Not Duke or Robert Is The True Love of Anna’s Life; If She’s A Part of The Soap Mafia; Will AMC’s Alex Visit Port Llanview; And If Kelly Ripa Really Watches GH! On-Set Drama: Is Maria Arena Bell Out At Y&R? YoHarmony and Sarge Hooking Up! Is Tucker Cane’s Dad? Answer Inside! Also: Is Y&R Plotting a Cane and Ashley Romance? Find Out! Did Eric Braeden Push For Shictor? Plus: Are Sharon and Victor Here To Stay? Is B&B’s Jacob Young A Crossdresser? ONE LIFE’s Roger Howarth and Florencia Lozano Hit Port Chuck! Plus: The Daytime Emmy Awards To Air On TV? Why Peter Reckell May Leave DAYS! Will He Join GH? Another GH Actor Fired! Last Week's Reviews, Unbelievable Blind Items, and Next Week's Cheat Sheet!
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Improvised Explosive Device

Short Story: Follows a motorized patrol on a routine mission that goes badly wrong.This is a very short story portraying action in battle. It follows a military convoy out on patrol in Iraq to a violent confrontation with a roadside bomb.
Views: 538

Cruel Winter

Lock the doors. Close the windows. And prepare yourself for the heart-stopping debut of Anthony Izzo, a new master of horror who will chill you to the bone. . .Jack Harding and his friends feel sorry for the new kid in town. His name is Ronnie Winter, and he's a bit of a weirdo. So when the local bullies try to beat him up, Jack and his friends step in to protect Ronnie—and that's their first mistake. Because Ronnie Winter is not like any other kid they've ever known. He lives at the old Steadman place, in the big creepy mansion that used to be a mental hospital. And his young, beautiful mother has a strange way of making Jack promise to be Ronnie's friend. . .forever.The closer Jack and his friends get to Ronnie, the colder it gets. The town is plunged into a wave of brutal snowstorms—and plagued by a series of gruesome murders. And as the grisly death toll mounts, Jack realizes that Ronnie is surrounded by something far more powerful than a mother's...
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Excursions in Daily Living

Free form expressions of Ann's view of her daily life encounters. A bug on a windshield, the hint of spring, and the depth of winter are a few of the things that inspire her to write.After writing for numerous years, Ann began sending email messages with her view of daily events in free-form poetry. When the response was positive, she expanded her excursions in writings to her Facebook page. A bug on a windshield, the hint of spring, the daily news, a car decides to occupy her right of way, and the depth of spring inspires writing.
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WOMEN OF SURPRISE 03: Making Over Maggie

Maggie Monroe has always been independent, headstrong, and capable of handling just about anything. So when her aunt, Margaret, hires Samuel Clay to `assist' Maggie in the opening of a dance hall, Maggie is not amused. The dance hall was her project, and the reason she stayed in the small upstate New York town. For the few months that Maggie had been in town visiting her ailing aunt and two cousins she's seen what could happen when Aunt Margaret starts to `help.' Both of her cousins ended up falling in love with the man chosen to assist. But this won't happen to Maggie---she doesn't need a man, or romance, or any of that silliness; she is an independent businesswoman and entirely too busy for such trifles. Samuel Clay takes one look at Maggie and he knows he's in for a bit of trouble. She disagrees with every decision he makes regarding the dance hall but he plows ahead trying to do the job for which he has been hired. At every turn Maggie defies him, but somehow they manage to get the dance hall started and make it a success. Much to her dismay, Maggie realizes that she actually needed Samuel's help, but she's not keen to admit it. Neither is she willing to admit the feelings she is developing for him. Samuel decided to pour on the charm to get his way, but little does he realize that by charming Maggie, she has actually cast a spell on him! **About the Author Tracey J. Lyons always liked to play make-believe, so writing fiction seemed like a natural progression in her life. Starting out as a little girl imagining that all those hidden nooks and crannies in her backyard were castles and mansions, she evolved into a teenager wanting to become an actress, and ended up turning into a young woman writing romance novels. Tracey holds an associates degree in theatre arts. Married for over twenty years to her high school sweetheart, she and her husband are the proud parents of two sons. Tracey lives in upstate New York. 
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The Road, the Load, and the Tree Toad

A short fable about two brothers, a road, a load, and of course, a tree toad.Bribery, corruption and Norwegian penises: a satirical tale of two cultures.Thanks to her grandmother’s way of dealing with her constipation, the Shanghai policeman’s daughter grows up believing that the sun shines out of her backside. Her temper and screaming fits are so notorious that nobody dares to marry her – even though her father is offering a large sum of money. An inspector in the Shanghai police, he has accumulated a small fortune in bribe money, but what he really desires is a grandchild. When he suggests that Norway might be a suitable place to search for a spouse, his daughter readily agrees: having been reliably informed that Norwegian men have very large penises.But Norway turns out to be a bit of a culture shock for the Shanghai policeman’s daughter. Not only does Oslo resemble a small provincial town when compared to Shanghai, but every one is very honest and nobody will take a bribe. Moreover, whilst she is impressed by the size of Norwegian men’s penises, they are apparently unaware as to what they are supposed to do with them.
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A Cluster of Poems

Seven gross poems include what a small boy thinks about while sitting on the toilet, a peeing competition, a fishing trip with granddad that ends with a hook stuck in the wrong place, everything you wanted to know about the snot market, fashion followers, celebrity ambitions and an unusual fashion statement.Seven different stories are told in verse. The first tells of a small boy sitting on the toilet pondering where poo goes and why various animals poo differently. The second describes the trouble a boy can get into in a peeing competition to see who can aim the highest. The next poem describes the misfortunes of a boy who needs to do a number two when out fishing on a small boat with his granddad. Something awful happens to the boy when a hook goes flying through the air. Yet another poem explains how a boy’s pastime of nose picking makes him money. His enterprise first involves his classmates then spreads to servicing areas outside of school. The fifth poem covers the truth of following fashion and style trends. Fashion changes from having studs in your ear to finding your phone is the wrong color shade. The sixth poem defines the problems of seeking to be a celebrity. It shows the lengths people go to become a celebrity in how they decorate or add to their body,. The last poem involves a mother’s love of fashion being transferred to her child. Wait to you hear the ending.
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Nines Legacy

Number Nine—when John frees him from his cell in the power of six, he's ferocious, reckless, and ready to fight back. But being held captive changes a person—even a Lorien. See what Nine was like before his capture, and read about his dramatic escape from his point of view.
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The Family Reunion: A Fictional Family Portrait of Not-So-Real Family Members

The Family Reunion has been described as the Walton family meets Stephen Leacock. It is a collection of vignettes and character sketches woven together around a family reunion. Put your feet up and be ready to chuckle – A light read for the whole family.The Family Reunion has been described as the Walton family meets Stephen Leacock. It is a collection of vignettes and character sketches woven together around a family reunion. Put your feet up and be ready to chuckle – A light read for the whole family. You will find yourself reading to the family at the dining room table or at your next family reunion. The author says "They are stories and personal characteristics that I see in myself and in others. They are simply the launching platform buried between truth and fiction."A must read, family fun book, to be shared around the fire or the dining room table for all to enjoy - young and old.> I just finished "The Family Reunion". What an uplifting and warm piece of literature. I could not put it down. I simply devoured it. Thanks so much.
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What a Plant Knows

Plants can hear—and taste things, too!Thoroughly updated from root to leaf, this revised edition of the groundbreaking What a Plant Knows includes new revelations for lovers of all that is vegetal and verdant. The renowned biologist Daniel Chamovitz builds on the original edition to present an intriguing look at how plants themselves experience the world—from the colors they see to the schedules they keep, and now, what they do in fact hear and how they are able to taste. A rare inside look at what life is really like for the grass we walk on, the flowers we sniff, and the trees we climb, What a Plant Knows offers a greater understanding of their place in nature.
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The Dead and the Living

The 1983 Lamont poetry selection of the Academy of American Poets.From the Trade Paperback edition.
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Wishing for hell

If you had the ability to get what you wanted what would you ask for? Money? Power? Strength? Or something more dangerous?An office worker in Purgatory seeks consolation and hope by sending himself postcards and email messages from an imaginary holiday destination. When discovered, he is sent there.… When he got home that evening there was a beautiful sunlit holiday postcard in his letterbox, addressed to him and signed Williby. It was a breathless and ecstatic message describing unimaginable tropical delights and so looking forward to seeing him soon. It brought tears of longing to his eyes so sharp that they glittered like crystals on his cheek. They cracked and shattered when he wiped them away, but the promise shone within him like stars.Williby sighed and closed his eyes but when he opened them again he was still there…Sorrow is a free story from The World Is Round, available now.A great philosopher's masterwork is unravelled by a duck, an influential talk show host begins executing his guests, and a baby enchants a murderous African dictator in this collection of seventeen short stories. A work of poignant satire and extraordinary imagination, The World Is Round is always weird, sometimes bleak, and frequently hilarious.
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Two Loves and One Decision

Clarissa knew just like most women that she wanted a life with that special man, a man who would marry her and help her raise a family and over thirty years later she found him, but like every man he has a past that is tearing apart their relationship or any chance of a future, and now Clarissa has found herself dealing with his past, a new love and a disastrous future, with lies, and secrets.Biots Are People Too!Amateur sleuth Jack Clay hunts a Black Dwarf possessed by a spirit from hell! When Gumshoe finds the stars of Capricorn at a bloody crime scene, he calls for help! Nodlon is paradise, if you’re not a biot! Biots work jobs no one wants to pay for, and Evan Labe is a biot. Evan Labe is a biot – a black dwarf model – living in quiet despair. Tempted by an infomercial, Evan looses a serpent into the garden! An epidemic of missing dwarves plagues Nodlon. Thinking freedom will cure the problem, and fearing for the lives of the dwarves, Princess Virginia asks Jack Clay to help her free the biots. But another dwarf goes missing, and this time someone left a bloody Capricorn on the girl’s video screen. Swamped with questions, Gumshoe of Nodlon Yard is out of his league. Was the maiden abducted? Is her life in danger? Is he a kidnapper in league with Mars? Has the dwarf maiden gone rogue? Gumshoe calls his friend, Jack Clay, a celebrity elf, a freedom fighter, and a magician to help him find the girl!Freedom fighting must wait! As the clock ticks, the body count rises. In hot pursuit, Jack chases a wicked warlock armed with magic and an army of dwarves! A trail of murder and mayhem leads to a mysterious Black Dwarf! Can Jack find the Black Dwarf before he destroys Jack?! Will Jack save Nodlon?! Will Jack prevent a war with Mars?! Will Jack free the biots?! Find out in the Strange and Quirky Odyssey of Cretaceous Clay!
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