The Rose and the Ring Read online

that time only one of the principal noblemen in Crim Tartary),

  Blackstick, although invited to the christening, would not so

  much as attend; but merely sent her compliments and a silver

  papboat for the baby, which was really not worth a couple of

  guineas. About the same time the Queen of Paflagonia presented

  His Majesty with a son and heir; and guns were fired, the capital

  illuminated, and no end of feasts ordained to celebrate the young

  Prince's birth. It was thought the fairy, who was asked to be

  his godmother, would at least have presented him with an

  invisible jacket, a flying horse, a Fortunatus's purse, or some

  other valuable token of her favour; but instead, Blackstick went

  up to the cradle of the child Giglio, when everybody was admiring

  him and complimenting his royal papa and mamma, and said, 'My

  poor child, the best thing I can send you is a little

  MISFORTUNE'; and this was all she would utter, to the disgust of

  Giglio's parents, who died very soon after, when Giglio's uncle

  took the throne, as we read in Chapter I.

  In like manner, when CAVOLFIORE, King of Crim Tartary, had a

  christening of his only child, ROSALBA, the Fairy Blackstick, who

  had been invited, was not more gracious than in Prince Giglio's

  case. Whilst everybody was expatiating over the beauty of the

  darling child, and congratulating its parents, the Fairy

  Blackstick looked very sadly at the baby and its mother, and

  said, 'My good woman (for the Fairy was very familiar, and no

  more minded a Queen than a washerwoman)--my good woman, these

  people who are following you will be the first to turn against

  you; and as for this little lady, the best thing I can wish her

  is a LITTLE MISFORTUNE.' So she touched Rosalba with her black

  wand, looked severely at the courtiers, motioned the Queen an

  adieu with her hand, and sailed slowly up into the air out of the

  window.

  When she was gone, the Court people, who had been awed and silent

  in her presence, began to speak. 'What an odious Fairy she is

  (they said)--a pretty Fairy, indeed! Why, she went to the King

  of Paflagonia's christening, and pretended to do all sorts of

  things for that family; and what has happened--the Prince, her

  godson, has been turned off his throne by his uncle. Would we

  allow our sweet Princess to be deprived of her rights by any

  enemy? Never, never, never, never!'

  And they all shouted in a chorus, 'Never, never, never, never!'

  Now, I should like to know, and how did these fine courtiers show

  their fidelity? One of King Cavolfiore's vassals, the Duke

  Padella just mentioned, rebelled against the King, who went out

  to chastise his rebellious subject. 'Any one rebel against our

  beloved and august Monarch!' cried the courtiers; 'any one resist

  HIM? Pooh! He is invincible, irresistible. He will bring home

  Padella a prisoner, and tie him to a donkey's tail, and drive him

  round the town, saying, "This is the way the Great Cavolfiore

  treats rebels."'

  The King went forth to vanquish Padella; and the poor Queen, who

  was a very timid, anxious creature, grew so frightened and ill

  that I am sorry to say she died; leaving injunctions with her

  ladies to take care of the dear little Rosalba.--Of course they

  said they would. Of course they vowed they would die rather than

  any harm should happen to the Princess. At first the Crim Tartar

  Court Journal stated that the King was obtaining great victories

  over the audacious rebel: then it was announced that the troops

  of the infamous Padella were in flight: then it was said that the

  royal army would soon come up with the enemy, and then--then the

  news came that King Cavolfiore was vanquished and slain by His

  Majesty, King Padella the First!

  At this news, half the courtiers ran off to pay their duty to the

  conquering chief, and the other half ran away, laying hands on

  all the best articles in the palace; and poor little Rosalba was

  left there quite alone-- quite alone; and she toddled from one

  room to another, crying, 'Countess! Duchess!' (Only she said

  'Tountess, Duttess,' not being able to speak plain) 'bring me my

  mutton sop; my Royal Highness hungy! Tountess! Duttess!' And she

  went from the private apartments into the throne-room and nobody

  was there;--and thence into the ballroom and nobody was

  there;--and thence into the pages' room and nobody was there;

  --and she toddled down the great staircase into the hall and

  nobody was there;--and the door was open, and she went into the

  court, and into the garden, and thence into the wilderness, and

  thence into the forest where the wild beasts live, and was never

  heard of any more!

  A piece of her torn mantle and one of her shoes were found in the

  wood in the mouths of two lionesses' cubs whom KING PADELLA and a

  royal hunting party shot--for he was King now, and reigned over

  Crim Tartary. 'So the poor little Princess is done for,' said

  he; 'well, what's done can't be helped. Gentlemen, let us go to

  luncheon!' And one of the courtiers took up the shoe and put it

  in his pocket. And there was an end of Rosalba!

  IV. HOW BLACKSTICK WAS NOT ASKED TO THE PRINCESS ANGELICA'S

  CHRISTENING

  When the Princess Angelica was born, her parents not only did not

  ask the Fairy Blackstick to the christening party, but gave

  orders to their porter absolutely to refuse her if she called.

  This porter's name was Gruffanuff, and he had been selected for

  the post by their Royal Highnesses because he was a very tall

  fierce man, who could say 'Not at home' to a tradesman or an

  unwel come visitor with a rudeness which frightened most such

  persons away. He was the husband of that Countess whose picture

  we have just seen, and as long as they were together they

  quarrelled from morning till night. Now this fellow tried his

  rudeness once too often, as you shall hear. For the Fairy

  Blackstick coming to call upon the Prince and Princess, who were

  actually sitting at the open drawing-room window, Gruffanuff not

  only denied them, but made the most ODIOUS VULGAR SIGN as he was

  going to slam the door in the Fairy's face! 'Git away, hold

  Blackstick!' said he. 'I tell you, Master and Missis ain't at

  home to you;' and he was, as we have said, GOING to slam the

  door.

  But the Fairy, with her wand, prevented the door being shut; and

  Gruffanuff came out again in a fury, swearing in the most

  abominable way, and asking the Fairy 'whether she thought he was

  a going to stay at that there door hall day?'

  'You ARE going to stay at that door all day and all night, and

  for many a long year,' the Fairy said, very majestically; and

  Gruffanuff, coming out of the door, straddling before it with his

  great calves, burst out laughing, and cried, 'Ha, ha, ha! this is

  a good un! Ha--ah--what's this? Let me down--O--o-- H'm!' and

  then he was dumb!

  For, as the Fairy waved her wand over him, he felt himself rising

  off the ground, and
fluttering up against the door, and then, as

  if a screw ran into his stomach, he felt a dreadful pain there,

  and was pinned to the door; and then his arms flew up over his

  head; and his legs, after writhing about wildly, twisted under

  his body; and he felt cold, cold, growing over him, as if he was

  turning into metal; and he said, 'O--o--H'm!' and could say no

  more, because he was dumb.

  He WAS turned into metal! He was, from being BRAZEN, BRASS! He

  was neither more nor less than a knocker! And there he was,

  nailed to the door in the blazing summer day, till he burned

  almost red-hot; and there he was, nailed to the door all the

  bitter winter nights, till his brass nose was dropping with

  icicles. And the postman came and rapped at him, and the

  vulgarest boy with a letter came and hit him up against the door.

  And the King and Queen (Princess and Prince they were then)

  coming home from a walk that evening, the King said, 'Hullo, my

  dear! you have had a new knocker put on the door. Why, it's

  rather like our porter in the face! What has become of that

  boozy vagabond?' And the house-maid came and scrubbed his nose

  with sandpaper; and once, when the Princess Angelica's little

  sister was born, he was tied up in an old kid glove; and, another

  night, some LARKING young men tried to wrench him off, and put

  him to the most excruciating agony with a turn screw. And then

  the Queen had a fancy to have the colour of the door altered; and

  the painters dabbed him over the mouth and eyes, and nearly

  choked him, as they painted him pea-green. I warrant he had

  leisure to repent of having been rude to the Fairy Blackstick!

  As for his wife, she did not miss him; and as he was always

  guzzling beer at the public-house, and notoriously quarrelling

  with his wife, and in debt to the tradesmen, it was supposed he

  had run away from all these evils, and emigrated to Australia or

  America. And when the Prince and Princess chose to become King

  and Queen, they left their old house, and nobody thought of the

  porter any more.

  V. HOW PRINCESS ANGELICA TOOK A LITTLE MAID

  One day, when the Princess Angelica was quite a little girl, she

  was walking in the garden of the palace, with Mrs. Gruffanuff,

  the governess, holding a parasol over her head, to keep her sweet

  complexion from the freckles, and Angelica was carrying a bun, to

  feed the swans and ducks in the royal pond.

  They had not reached the duck-pond, when there came toddling up

  to them such a funny little girl! She had a great quantity of

  hair blowing about her chubby little cheeks, and looked as if she

  had not been washed or combed for ever so long. She wore a

  ragged bit of a cloak, and had only one shoe on.

  'You little wretch, who let you in here?' asked Mrs. Gruffanuff.

  'Div me dat bun,' said the little girl, 'me vely hungy.'

  'Hungry! what is that?' asked Princess Angelica, and gave the

  child the bun.

  'Oh, Princess!' says Mrs. Gruffanuff, 'how good, how kind, how

  truly angelical you are! See, Your Majesties,' she said to the

  King and Queen, who now came up, along with their nephew, Prince

  Giglio, 'how kind the Princess is! She met this little dirty

  wretch in the garden--I can't tell how she came in here, or why

  the guards did not shoot her dead at the gate!--and the dear

  darling of a Princess has given her the whole of her bun!'

  'I didn't want it,' said Angelical

  'But you are a darling little angel all the same,' says the

  governess.

  'Yes; I know I am,' said Angelical 'Dirty little girl, don't you

  think I am very pretty?' Indeed, she had on the finest of little

  dresses and hats; and, as her hair was carefully curled, she

  really looked very well.

  'Oh, pooty, pooty!' says the little girl, capering about,

  laughing, and dancing, and munching her bun; and as she ate it

  she began to sing, 'Oh, what fun to have a plum bun! how I wis it

  never was done!' At which, and her funny accent, Angelica,

  Giglio, and the King and Queen began to laugh very merrily.

  'I can dance as well as sing,' says the little girl. 'I can

  dance, and I can sing, and I can do all sorts of ting.' And she

  ran to a flower-bed, and pulling a few polyanthuses,

  rhododendrons, and other flowers, made herself a little wreath,

  and danced before the King and Queen so drolly and prettily, that

  everybody was delighted.

  'Who was your mother--who were your relations, little girl?' said

  the Queen.

  The little girl said, 'Little lion was my brudder; great big

  lioness my mudder; neber heard of any udder.' And she capered

  away on her one shoe, and everybody was exceedingly diverted.

  So Angelica said to the Queen, 'Mamma, my parrot flew away

  yesterday out of its cage, and I don't care any more for any of

  my toys; and I think this funny little dirty child will amuse me.

  I will take her home, and give her some of my old frocks.'

  'Oh, the generous darling!' says Mrs. Gruffanuff.

  'Which I have worn ever so many times, and am quite tired of,'

  Angelica went on; 'and she shall be my little maid. Will you

  come home with me, little dirty girl?'

  The child clapped her hands, and said, 'Go home with you--yes!

  You pooty Princess!--Have a nice dinner, and wear a new dress!'

  And they all laughed again, and took home the child to the

  palace, where, when she was washed and combed, and had one of the

  Princess's frocks given to her, she looked as handsome as

  Angelica, almost. Not that Angelica ever thought so; for this

  little lady never imagined that anybody in the world could be as

  pretty, as good, or as clever as herself. In order that the

  little girl should not become too proud and conceited, Mrs.

  Gruffanuff took her old ragged mantle and one shoe, and put them

  into a glass box, with a card laid upon them, upon which was

  written, 'These were the old clothes in which little BETSINDA was

  found when the great goodness and admirable kindness of Her Royal

  Highness the Princess Angelica received this little outcast.'

  And the date was added, and the box locked up.

  For a while little Betsinda was a great favourite with the

  Princess, and she danced, and sang, and made her little rhymes,

  to amuse her mistress. But then the Princess got a monkey, and

  afterwards a little dog, and afterwards a doll, and did not care

  for Betsinda any more, who became very melancholy and quiet, and

  sang no more funny songs, because nobody cared to hear her. And

  then, as she grew older, she was made a little lady's-maid to the

  Princess; and though she had no wages, she worked and mended, and

  put Angelica's hair in papers, and was never cross when scolded,

  and was always eager to please her mistress, and was always up

  early and to bed late, and at hand when wanted, and in fact

  became a perfect little maid. So the two girls grew up, and,

  when the Princess came out, Betsinda was never tired of waiting

  on her; and made her dresses b
etter than the best milliner, and

  was useful in a hundred ways. Whilst the Princess was having her

  masters, Betsinda would sit and watch them; and in this way she

  picked up a great deal of learn ing; for she was always awake,

  though her mistress was not, and listened to the wise professors

  when Angelica was yawning or thinking of the next ball. And when

  the dancing-master came, Betsinda learned along with Angelica;

  and when the music-master came, she watched him, and practiced

  the Princess's pieces when Angelica was away at balls and

  parties; and when the drawing-master came, she took note of all

  he said and did; and the same with French, Italian, and all other

  languages--she learned them from the teacher who came to

  Angelica. When the Princess was going out of an evening she

  would say, 'My good Betsinda, you may as well finish what I have

  begun.' 'Yes, miss,' Betsinda would say, and sit down very

  cheerful, not to FINISH what Angelica began, but to DO it.

  For instance, the Princess would begin a head of a warrior, let

  us say, and when it was begun it was something like this--

  But when it was done, the warrior was like this--

  (only handsomer still if possible), and the Princess put her name

  to the drawing; and the Court and King and Queen, and above all

  poor Giglio, admired the picture of all things, and said, 'Was

  there ever a genius like Angelica?' So, I am sorry to say, was

  it with the Princess's embroidery and other accomplishments; and

  Angelica actually believed that she did these things herself, and

  received all the flattery of the Court as if every word of it was

  true. Thus she began to think that there was no young woman in

  all the world equal to herself, and that no young man was good

  enough for her. As for Betsinda, as she heard none of these

  praises, she was not puffed up by them, and being a most

  grateful, good-natured girl, she was only too anxious to do

  everything which might give her mistress pleasure. Now you begin

  to perceive that Angelica had faults of her own, and was by no

  means such a wonder of wonders as people represented Her Royal

  Highness to be.

  VI. HOW PRINCE GIGLIO BEHAVED HIMSELF

  And now let us speak about Prince Giglio, the nephew of the

  reigning monarch of Paflagonia. It has already been stated, in

  page seven, that as long as he had a smart coat to wear, a good

  horse to ride, and money in his pocket, or rather to take out of

  his pocket, for he was very good-natured, my young Prince did not

  care for the loss of his crown and sceptre, being a thoughtless

  youth, not much inclined to politics or any kind of learning. So

  his tutor had a sinecure. Giglio would not learn classics or

  mathematics, and the Lord Chancellor of Paflagonia, SQUARETOSO,

  pulled a very long face because the Prince could not be got to

  study the Paflagonian laws and constitution; but, on the other

  hand, the King's gamekeepers and huntsmen found the Prince an apt

  pupil; the dancing-master pronounced that he was a most elegant

  and assiduous scholar; the First Lord of the Billiard Table gave

  the most flattering reports of the Prince's skill; so did the

  Groom of the Tennis Court; and as for the Captain of the Guard

  and Fencing Master, the VALIANT and VETERAN Count KUTASOFF

  HEDZOFF, he avowed that since he ran the General of Crim Tartary,

  the dreadful Grumbuskin, through the body, he never had

  encountered so expert a swordsman as Prince Giglio.

  I hope you do not imagine that there was any impropriety in the

  Prince and Princess walking together in the palace garden, and

  because Giglio kissed Angelica's hand in a polite manner. In the

  first place they are cousins; next, the Queen is walking in the

  garden too (you cannot see her, for she happens to be behind that

  tree), and Her Majesty always wished that Angelica and Giglio

  should marry: so did Giglio: so did Angelica sometimes, for she

  thought her cousin very handsome, brave, and good-natured: but

  then you know she was so clever and knew so many things, and poor

  Giglio knew nothing, and had no conversation. When they looked

  at the stars, what did Giglio know of the heavenly bodies? Once,

  when on a sweet night in a balcony where they were standing,

  Angelica said, 'There is the Bear.' 'Where?' says Giglio.