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  Love After Loss

  Alphas In the Army: An Mpreg Romance

  W Mae Swift

  Ashton Stellys

  Love After Loss by W. Mae Swift & Ashton Stellys

  © 2018 by W Mae Swift & Ashton Stellys

  All rights reserved.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Contents

  Prologue

  1. Carlos

  2. Damien

  3. Carlos

  4. Damien

  5. Carlos

  6. Damien

  7. Carlos

  8. Damien

  9. Carlos

  10. Damien

  11. Carlos

  12. Damien

  13. Carlos

  14. Damien

  15. Carlos

  16. Damien

  17. Carlos

  18. Damien

  19. Carlos

  20. Damien

  21. Carlos

  22. Damien

  23. Carlos

  24. Damien

  25. Carlos

  26. Damien

  27. Carlos

  28. Damien

  Authors’ Note

  About W. Mae Swift

  About Ashton Stellys

  Also by W Mae Swift

  Prologue

  We sat silently in the waiting room, neither of us speaking. I couldn’t believe what was happening. One minute my life was all newfound love and passion, the next I was praying my mate would be safe.

  He sat across from me with wide doe eyes. He looked scared and confused, the complete opposite of his regular characteristics. He was always so confident and strong, yet his agitated state was understandable considering the circumstances. His heat had been one giant nightmare.

  I gingerly touched the scraps on my knuckles. How could I have ignored my problems for this long? How could I have put Carlos through all of this? I was so angry with myself. I loved him too much to let my problems get in the way of us becoming mates.

  The clock in the corner ticked slowly away at the hour, the stack of magazines on the table beside me neat and tidy, and the sweet chili pepper scent of Carlos filled the waiting room.

  He sat across from me and not beside me, which was okay. I knew he didn’t feel comfortable around me right now and for good reason, that’s why we were here. To be honest I was happy he sat across from me because I clearly didn’t know what I was capable of.

  It had been longest twenty minutes of my life in that waiting room before the door to the main office swung open. Carlos and I both looked up and watched a disheveled man exit the door, looking somewhat revealed.

  I glanced over at Carlos. He was looking at the disheveled man in bewilderment. I don’t think he was ready for this and neither was I.

  The man exited the waiting room and a tall beautiful woman appeared from the main office.

  “Damien,” She spoke in a soothing, lullaby-like tone, “I’m so happy you’ve returned my calls.”

  “Yeah I’m sorry for that, really.” I said to her, truly wishing I had never missed any of her calls to begin with.

  “That’s okay,” She spoke again in her soothing tone, “You don’t have to apologize Damien.” Than she turned to look at Carlos, “And you must be Carlos?” He nodded his head and forced a smile. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Please, both of you, come into my office.”

  I caught his gaze as we both stood up to follow her. As we walked through the door Carlos reached his hand out to mine. I smiled back at him, pushing back tears brought on by the tender gesture. “Everything’s going to be okay Damien.”

  I really hoped he was right.

  1

  Carlos

  I was more accustomed to a lifestyle of boys, booze and beaches. Getting done with homework and work seven days a week was a dramatic change and definitely took some getting used to.

  I had been living in San Bernardino, off campus, by myself now for almost a year. I found it easier to get to work and school if I lived in between both. Recently, I decided to move in with a friend, Patrick. Today was moving day I was all packed up and ready to move into my new 2-bedroom apartment.

  I deeply missed my family and my home country, Colombia. Patrick, my new roommate, eased my homesickness, though. His parents were from Colombia as well but they had raised him in the States. Even though he was, for the most part, American, he could switch on his Hispanic background and speak to me in Spanish, which made me feel right at home.

  Between working seven days a week over Christmas break, and moving into a new house I was beginning to feel run down. Today was the final day of moving and all I wanted to do was sleep in my new home.

  I carried my last box up the stairs to our apartment, which was on the second of two floors. The first and second floor consisted of three two-bedroom apartments all identical. Our door opened onto a deck, which we shared with the two other apartments on the second floor. When I reached our deck I dropped the box with a loud thud. I felt hot and winded, almost dizzy. I sat on the top step to compose myself and make sure I didn’t faint. Oh no, I must be getting sick. Makes sense from the lack of sleep, stress of exams, and over working.

  Patrick poked his head out of our apartment door. “You okay, Carlos?” he asked, looking concerned.

  “Yeah, I’m fine, I think I might be getting sick though.” I replied panting and out of breathe from only two sets of stairs.

  “Oh no! You and our neighbor! I’m surrounded by sickos.”

  “Neighbor? Who’s that?” I asked curiously, realizing I didn’t know who we shared the deck with.

  “Damien. He’s the one that told me about this place. You know him, don’t you?”

  “Ahh,” I pondered for a second. “Wait, Damien, as in your hot boss?”

  “Ew! So not hot.” Patrick said in disgust.

  But his boss was definitely hot. Strong alpha type, you could tell just by looking at him. He wasn’t necessarily my type, he seemed much too mature, almost twenty years my senior and the owner of his own successful bar inside an equally successful hotel chain.

  “He’s super awkward,” Patrick continued, “and has this weird past with the army that I would not want to get involved with.”

  I smiled. Huh, that’s interesting, I thought to myself. My head started to throb, and I went to lie down. “I’m going to get some rest, Pat. Hopefully I’ll feel better in the morning.”

  2

  Damien

  I stepped out of the hot shower and inhaled deeply. It felt good to be able to breath again; I had been sick for almost three fucking weeks. I hadn’t been sick in years. I was going mad not being able to work at my bar and being cooped up at home all day.

  I dried my body off, regarding myself in the mirror. My once perfectly sculpted Army body was looking a little older. Still fit but my 42 year old self wasn’t able to maintain my body as well as I had in my 20’s training in the army.

  Finally I was starting to feel better and was able to move around more. I decided to get up to give my new neighbors an official hello. They had finished moving in the night before. I knew Patrick quite well as he was an employee of mine. I didn’t mind his company outside of work either, so I suggested the open apartment next to mine when I heard he was looking for a new place.

  I walked across our deck and poked my head inside the propped open door. “Howdy.” I said awkwardly with a little salute.

  Looking into the room I saw Patrick folding clothes and his roommate, my new neighbor Carlos, laying on t
he ground looking a little like I had been looking these past few weeks, sick as a dog.

  Patrick turned around and said hello before coming over to give me a hug, but then abruptly stopped a couple of feet away from me. “Still sick?” he demanded to know before hugging me.

  “Happy to say I’m doing much better, but it looks like your roommate might have the same thing?” I waved at him. He was sweating but still had a blanket around him. His face was swollen and red. He looked cute. I empathized with him having just been through the same.

  He looked up at me and managed to smile. “Hi, I’m Carlos.” He sounded all stuffed up. But he had a twinkle in his eye that made me really take notice. He was Hispanic like Patrick, but more fit, with sharp features and perfectly trimmed facial hair that framed his model-like face.

  He’s sexy, I thought, but much too young for me. My eyes lingered a little too long on him before I finally returned his introduction.

  “Hi, I’m Damien. Damien Kerrtington.” I realized I probably didn’t need to say my last name but was customary in the army, a habit I’d never dropped. “How yuh doin’ soldier?” Wow, I could not turn my rigid awkwardness off. Even though I was a retired soldier, successful business owner and mature adult, I couldn’t help being a goof sometimes. It was sometimes embarrassing but it was my defense mechanism. It helped distract people from really getting to know me.

  “Not so good,” Carlos answered looking really sorry for himself. “Really sick.” He pouted out his bottom lip.

  “Strap in. I was sick for a three whole weeks. Only just feeling better now.” I told him. “Actually, hold on, I’ll be right back.” I had some left over soup and some medicine that helped me get through my cold. I thought it would be very neighborly of me to gift him some.

  3

  Carlos

  Damn. Damien was a lot hotter than I remembered. Even though he had about twenty years on me, he didn’t look it. He was tall, dark skinned, and muscular, probably his military background that kept him in shape all these years. He was my new neighbor and Patrick’s boss though! I shouldn’t be thinking these types of things, but it was hard to ignore his dreamy appearance, especially with my dirty mind.

  Even though I was an omega, I didn’t discriminate against any particular status. Of course I loved a good alpha but every now and than I could persuade another omega or even a beta to do the dirty with me.

  Growing up in a touristic party town in Colombia gave me a lot of, how would you say? Opportunity? To meet a lot of men passing through. If they were alpha, omega or beta I could usually convince them it was me they wanted for the night.

  Ever since watching my friend Rory and Justin fall in love and start a family, I had been slightly jealous of them. They were just such a perfect little family. Witnessing them grow into an adorable family unit made me see things from a different perspective. After moving to the States and seeing more and more people in their monogamist picture perfect lifestyles, I began to envy them. It made me start to crave alphas a little more, which made me think I was ready to find myself a mate and start my own family instead of continuing to be so promiscuous.

  Damien came back to our apartment minutes later showcasing a Tupperware container like a server in a five-star restaurant.

  “This should help,” he said as he took a knee beside me on the ground and held the steamy, aromatic soup up to my nose.

  I took in a deep inhale, smelling the soup. “Wow,” my head felt faint and I felt instantly warm inside. “That smells amazing,” I gasped.

  “Thanks,” he said proudly. “Just something I whipped together while I was sick. I’ve become quite the soup connoisseur these days.” He finished his gloating with a goofy grin. I giggled and took the soup from his warm hands. “Oh, and these,” he pulled a pill bottle from his back pocket. “I got them when I was sick, they’ll help with the fever.” He grinned again, this time less goofy and with more warmth.

  He wished me well and left our apartment. I sat on the floor wrapped in my blanket holding the warm soup with hearts in my eyes. “What a cutie.” I gushed looking up at Patrick. He rolled his eyes when he saw my love stricken face.

  “Oh God, don’t even.” Even though Patrick and I hadn’t known each other for a long time, we joked about being long lost brothers because we understood each other so well. “Not another one Carlos! I work with him. He is my boss and your neighbor!”

  I ignored him and kept on enjoying the blissful feeling that had just been aroused in my body. I took another deep inhale of soup. Yum, it smelled delicious but this time not so intoxicating. It was missing the rich depth I had smelled at first. Rich like warm dark cocoa. I looked beside me to where Damien had been kneeling. Maybe it hadn’t just been the soup.

  4

  Damien

  It’d be nice to have new neighbors, I thought to myself as I walked across the shared deck into my apartment. It had been lonely occupying the whole top floor by myself. Carlos wasn’t so bad to look at either. I shook my head. I had too much going on to complicate things with feelings towards my neighbor.

  I was in a fine position to be dating. I ran a good business, owned a nice apartment, and was generally happy with myself overall. It was just my past that kept me from being involved with anyone.

  I was retired, for the most part. I had invested in the bar a while back and tried to stay involved with it as much as possible to keep myself busy. I managed a couple nights a week and worked on some of the event planning. It helped me to keep my mind off other things, things that haunted me from my past.

  I went to the stove to heat up some more left over soup for myself. As I poured the soup from the container to the pot my hands started to shake. Stress started to build in my body. It was uncontrollable. I stammered back towards my table and rested my head in my hands.

  Crude images began flooding my mind. My hands balled into fists and came smashing down on the table in anger and frustration. I tried to push the images out of my mind, but they came charging all at once. Tears formed in my eyes and pain shot through my chest.

  Knock knock

  I heard a little voice and spun around to see Carlos standing in the doorway. Sweat had begun to bead around my face and the tears where dripping from my eyes.

  “Are you ok?” Carlos asked. His eyes wide at the sight of me.

  I quickly got up and walked towards the door. “Yes, I’m fine.” I replied without looking him in the eye. “Just, ah, busy,” I closed the door on him without saying another word.

  I took a deep breath pressing my back up against the closed door. My nerves started to calm. As I breathed in to try and relax my nose filled with an unfamiliar scent. It was spicy but at the same time sweet, like a candied chili pepper and it began to sooth my mind from terror to calmness.

  Just like that my body felt at ease once again. I took in a second breath and this time the scent made my knees quiver slightly as an entirely new sensation filled my body forgetting all about the trauma I had just endured once again.

  I took a seat on my living room couch. It had been so long since I experienced this trauma. I was scared. I had made so much positive progression. Why the sudden change?

  5

  Carlos

  Okay, that was weird, I thought as I walked across my new deck. I had gone over to thank him for the soup and maybe flirt a little. There was just something about him that, despite my fever and dripping nose, made me want to throw myself at him.

  He was so caring, like a protector swooping in to save me with his soup. Then disappearing to his house where something had clearly upset him. My emotions were running high from all the butterflies in my stomach and all I could think about was what had upset him.

  He seemed like a man with a smart business mind, good looks and a goofy persona. All perfect qualities in a mate. Qualities that made my heart begin to beat fast and slow at the same time. So what had made him so emotionally upset?

  My feelings for him were building so fast and I
was overwhelmed with emotions of new love and curiosity. My head started to ache. I was too sick to process what I was feeling and what I had just seen.

  I stepped into our apartment and sat on the couch, dumbfounded.

  “How’d that go?” Pat asked, clearly mocking me and not really interested in how my attempt to flirt actually went.

  I shook my head. “Ah, that was weird.”

  “What? Never been turned down before?” He laughed.

  “No, it wasn’t that….” I didn’t know how to explain what I had just seen. I decided to not say anything at all. They did work together. I didn’t want to start rumors and I wanted to respect my neighbor’s privacy. “It was nothing, I just thanked him for the soup.”

  “How is that weird?” Patrick’s eyes narrowed and he raised an eyebrow at me.

  I laughed awkwardly, “Nothing, I was just really off my game that’s all.”

  “Oh, so you really are smitten?” He teased.

  “I guess so,” I said it as though I was kidding but, in truth, Patrick was right. Between his humble soup making skills, sexy soldier persona and now this added mysterious darkness, he might really have me smitten indeed.

  I went into my new bedroom to lie down. I closed my eyes and began to daydream about how I could make my next move. How could I get this older, macho, mysterious alpha to notice me? I recalled his strong black biceps and his picture perfect goofy grin. My hand slipped into my shorts and I began rubbing the bulge that had formed underneath them. I pictured Damien, just a wall away from me. My heart beat faster as I felt myself. I wanted to know him. I wanted to know all of him. I was driven now, driven to understand this new love even with the complications it might bring. The thought of it all made me explode.

  I gave myself a couple of minutes to bask in my euphoria, got up and cleaned myself off. Even though I was sick, getting off to my new neighbor and new love conquest was no problem.

  “So, what movie are we watching tonight?” I asked Pat as I reentered our common space, casually, like I hadn’t just been passionately pleasuring myself to the thought of Damien in my room.