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  He breaks off and takes a long sip of the beer kindly offered by Dr. Zanetti.

  I have my eye on Ben's room and when I spot first his silhouette, then another, I instinctively turn to watch. It's a girl, there's no doubt about it. Casey, apparently.

  Ben walks over to the window and closes the curtains.

  That’s all folks.

  "Does it bother you?" I ask, perhaps a little too directly.

  "No," he sighs. "Well, a little. Ben's always hard on me. If I act stupid he barks at me, if I go too far he makes a scene, and if we get into a fight, then there's no holding him back. Then along comes Jessica, whining about some stupid joke and he becomes a little lamb and I'm the idiot who takes all the flack."

  I glance down at my beer, then, not knowing what to say, take two generous swallows. "So why does Jessica get so angry about the other girls?"

  "Ah, she thinks he's too smart, too special, too good looking to go out with just anyone. No one will ever be good enough for her Ben. I'm the scumbag of the family, she doesn’t care if I fuck two girls in the same day…" He finishes his sandwich in two bites.

  "Do you? I mean, fuck two girls in one day?" I lean back against the headboard and position a pillow behind my back.

  "’Course not!" He puts his plate down on the floor, then, firmly holding onto his beer, leans back next to me, shoving a pillow up behind him. "STDs are real, you know? I have fun, but shit, that doesn't mean I'm some kind of male slut. Believe me, Ben may seem like the quiet type, but he's much worse than me. He uses women, I fall in love about ten times a day." He laughs and I understand, that underneath the jokes, he's telling the truth.

  I try not to dwell too much on the fact that Ben uses women. It's stronger than me, however, and I want to ask a thousand more questions. "So, you're a romantic?" I splutter.

  Mark loops an arm around my shoulder and pulls my head down onto his chest. "Sure. Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen? Fuck that. I love giving women gifts. Flowers, chocolates. I love to court ‘em, then fuck ‘em, but with class."

  I pinch his leg and he laughs.

  My eyes close and being in Mark's arms is like being protected by the arms of Morpheus.

  "I don't think your brother likes me." My exhaustion is playing tricks on me.

  Mark looks down at me, his expression curious. "Why would you say that?"

  "He makes me nervous. He never makes jokes and never speaks to me. I mean, what's wrong with him?" I'm on the defensive now, and I regret a hundred times over ever mentioning it.

  "You like him!" Mark teases, squeezing me tight against his chest. It's not a question.

  A thousand. I regret it a thousand times over.

  "You're joking! What do you mean? He's an arrogant know-it-all and I hate the way he treats you, like he's some kind of genius and you're the village idiot."

  Caterina! Now where did all that vitriol come from?

  He laughs and kisses me on the temple. "Don't worry. We're always like that, but he's my best friend and I'm his. We've been at each other's throats since we were kids. My brother's an introvert, he hates meeting new people, but with you he's making enormous progress. You don't know him, but it's not like him to give nicknames or ask favors for girls he doesn't know. That's his way of letting you know you're welcome here. He can be quite particular, but I'm pretty sure he's not indifferent to the cute Italian girl next door."

  My throat closes up for a fraction of a second. I almost would have preferred to be told that he actually hates the cute Italian girl next door. No, that's not true. I can't deny it, he makes my heart race. But he's in his bedroom with another girl. A hot, willing girl, apparently.

  I have to get him out of my head. It's just a stupid crush, that’s all.

  "Do you mind if I sleep here tonight?" Mark whispers. "I don't want to go home."

  I can hardly make out what he's saying, but I force my brain to focus and nod. "Sure."

  I hear him taking off his shorts and t-shirt, then he pulls back the sheet and slips it over me. He reaches out to turn the lamp out, then pulls me against him, his chest pressing against my back until we're spooning.

  "Night, Cat-Babe," he whispers, and I sink into a deep sleep without fully realizing there’s a half-naked guy in my bed, holding me tight. And it’s not my boyfriend.

  8

  Casey smells of vanilla and chocolate cookies. She has velvety smooth skin and soft, shiny black hair. What else can I say? She's one of the hottest girls I know, and the only one I see with any frequency. She asks me nothing more than I'm prepared to give her and sometimes I don't get her. She knows I'm not even remotely in love with her and that whatever we have, it's not a relationship. We don't go out together and we certainly don't sleep together. When we're done, she gets dressed then we say goodbye and she goes home.

  I'm not proud of it, but that's how it is. She gives me what I want without asking for anything in return and, after almost six months of this non-relationship, I don't even feel guilty. I've always been straight with her. She knows I've been with other girls while I’ve been seeing her but she's never batted an eye. I can't deny that, even if it's for a very short period of time, she makes me feel good. She's one of those girls who knows what they want and she lives in the moment: no paranoia, no hysterical scenes if I don't call her. Whatever there is between us, it's totally uncomplicated and that's fine by us. Or, rather, it was...

  She pulls my shirt off and tugs my pants down, pulling my boxers down with them. That’s how she is, she gets straight to the point. There's no mincing words with Casey, a quality I appreciate greatly. It's wonderful to get lost inside her, to think with what's between my legs instead of what's between my ears for a change.

  However, tonight, what’s between my legs and I are having problems getting into the swing of things. My dick is loving her heart-stopping curves, her scent, the way she moves expertly on top of me and we're both doing what we should without skipping a beat. But my head refuses to cooperate. Something in my brain’s playing tricks on me and won't let me relax.

  I try to shake it off and change position. I flip Casey over and, as usual, she doesn't protest. I fuck her from behind, thrusting myself into her, hoping it will help, but something is seriously wrong.

  The light is on, and I can see her in all her splendor: her tight ass and slender body usually make me lose control, but not tonight. I keep on, like a car on automatic pilot, trying to ignore the little voice in my head...a stupid voice that just happens to have an Italian accent and the fearless, yellow eyes of a wildcat.

  Just thinking about her excites me even more, but I feel like a colossal asshole. It's bad enough screwing Casey without feelings, but thinking about another girl when I’m balls deep inside her is the height of bad taste. But that's how it is and tonight my thoughts are out of control.

  I close my eyes and all I can see is her sweaty skin and those tiny little fluorescent yellow shorts she was wearing when she went running this afternoon. I almost had a heart attack when she walked past me, jiggling her ass. Of course, Kris had to say something, and I had to bite my tongue to avoid punching him. I don't want the guys making vulgar comments about her, she seems so innocent and delicate, almost inexperienced. I know she isn't, she's had a boyfriend for years, but that innocent vibe suits her so well.

  All the time I'm lost in Casey, I'm thinking what it would be like to touch her, make her drop the good-girl attitude as I thrust into her a million times over. I don’t know why, but I'm convinced that behind the goody-two-shoes act, there's a woman with claws who likes to take the initiative and likes to be fucked as if it were her very last time.

  I imagine her on top of me, setting the rhythm, using my body to satisfy her own, wildly, with no inhibitions. It's enough to make me climax and I experience the most mind-blowing orgasm I've ever had.

  It takes me more than a minute to recover and regain control of my breathing. Casey is motionless on the bed, flat on her stomach. Shit, I didn't even wait for he
r to come.

  I was so blinded by my vision of Blondie that I was unaware of anything else. The girl on my bed gazes at me with huge, fawn-like eyes and smiles without saying a word.

  "I'm sorry, I was so...turned on. You're hotter than ever tonight." I don't like lying, and I'm a terrible at it, but right now, a lie sounds much better than the awful truth.

  "No problem, just remember you owe me one, Mr. Carter."

  I get out of bed and lock myself in the bathroom. I turn the shower on, letting it run for an eternity. I lean against the cold ceramic of the sink and try to breathe normally as the hot running water forms a cloud of steam.

  What the fuck's happening to me? Why can't I get her out of my head? I get a sudden flash of my hand on the taut skin of her stomach, hot and sweaty, her chest heaving as she fought to catch her breath. It was so instinctive, I had no control over my hand. I needed to reach out and touch her.

  Just thinking about it makes me hard again.

  Fuck!

  I take a quick shower and when I come out, Casey hasn't moved an inch, she's still naked on the bed. I turn the light off and get into bed, turn her over, and spread her legs. Without even thinking, I put a condom on.

  I know I should send her home. It's bad enough using her to satisfy my most basic needs but having sex with her while I'm thinking about the sexy blonde next door is just going too far.

  I hear her panting and groaning in the dark as I slide myself into her without any form of foreplay and do just what I want. I wish I could cover her mouth and shut her up, forget she's there, underneath me. I turn my brain off as our sweaty bodies glide over each other again. I kiss her, devouring her lips, almost suffocating her, hoping to stifle her moans.

  All I can think of is Cat, with her long blonde hair pulled back in a top-knot as she lies exhausted on the grass, her knees raised, her legs slightly open, and I wonder what it would be like to tear off the scrap of fabric she calls 'shorts' and discover she's wearing nothing underneath. I bet she tastes magnificent and that she's red hot under my tongue.

  I'm about to lose control again but this time I hold out and concentrate on satisfying the girl in my bed first...Casey...sure, yeah, I remember her name.

  Casey.

  I know what works with her and I need her to hurry up because I can't hold out much longer.

  She writhes beneath me and I feel her orgasm against my dick, but strangely enough, it has no effect on me.

  Cat's the one who makes me lose control. So beautiful she takes my breath away, delicate yet wild at the same time. Her cheeky little face as she sips beer in a bar where we've never been served alcohol, the way she perches politely on her stool in the kitchen and watches me out of the corner of her eye. The way she almost skips over to me and hands me a beer, looking like a total snob. Cat, sweating and panting, lying next to me, my hand gently touching the hot skin of her stomach, wishing it could go further and slide into her panties and explore her.

  Cat. She makes me lose control.

  9

  It takes me a good ten seconds to figure out what's happening. I'm sweating, a sheet is twisted around my ankle and my leg is wrapped around another leg and it isn't mine. A strong, warm hand lies on my stomach and someone’s breathing on my neck. I'm in bed, in my room, and I'm not alone.

  Then it all comes back and the blood drains from my face. Shit! Did I really let Mark sleep in my bed? I turn my head slightly. Tousled blond hair, bare chest, tight white boxers. With his face nuzzled against my neck it could be anyone. Well, not anyone, it could be Ben and I immediately catch my breath.

  My God! Did I really think I'd wake up this morning to find my massive crush on that crazy musician was just a distant memory? Obviously things aren't quite that simple.

  I slide away from Mark and give him a gentle shove.

  "Mark," I whisper in his ear. All I need is for my roommates to find out about my slumber party.

  His hand stiffens against my stomach and he pulls me close until I'm tight against his body.

  Shit! I wasn't expecting to feel his erection against my thigh. I'm about to elbow him in the ribs when he blocks my arm and rolls on top of me.

  I could die at any moment.

  "Morning, Cat-Babe." He blows a soft kiss against my neck and gets out of bed.

  Has he gone crazy? I'm still a woman with needs and, let's face it, he's so damn sexy. Behavior like this between friends should be against the law.

  He shuts himself in the bathroom and I sit up. Asshole!

  I open the closet and choose a pair or light-colored jeans and a long, white t-shirt with light-blue trim, then take a matching set of underwear from the dresser.

  Mark comes out of the bathroom in his boxers, his hair still damp, his face relaxed. He winks and I roll my eyes to avoid giggling like an idiot. He pulls his t-shirt and shorts on, then strolls over. He used my soap and smells of lavender and honey.

  "Thanks, Cat. See you in the kitchen for breakfast." He gives me a pinch on the cheek, which makes me jump, then walks out of my room. "Morning, Erika."

  Of course!

  Did I really think no one would find out?

  Erika sneaks into my room without knocking, a second before I can lock myself in the bathroom.

  "Cat!" she hisses, making me jump. Where’s it written that a guy, a hot guy, can't sleep over in the same bed as a girl he's only known for a week without actually having sex? I know it sounds difficult, but it's not impossible.

  "We were up late talking and fell asleep," I say defensively, feeling as guilty as hell. Even if I keep telling myself I've done nothing wrong, the truth is, if Leonardo did anything like that, I'd slay his balls off with a golf club.

  She points a finger at me. "Swear!"

  "I swear!" I put a hand on my heart. "I know what you're thinking, that it's all some kind of tactic, but it's not like that at all, we're just friends."

  Erika stares at me for a few seconds then smiles. "Let's wait and see."

  I enter the kitchen, my hair's tight in a ponytail and I'm ready to face my second day at college. Jessica is sitting at the table, looking so sad I want to skip breakfast and go back to my room.

  "Ciao!" I take a cup down from the cupboard and fill it with hot coffee.

  "Morning, Cat." Her tone is even more depressing than the look on her face.

  "Everything okay?"

  We're interrupted by the sound of the patio door sliding open. Ben walks in, in honors-class-nice-guy mode: tight jeans, an untucked blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. He's freshly shaved and his hair's still damp from his morning shower. I look up and almost drop my coffee cup.

  Yup, still got a crush on him!

  "Hi, Jess." He strides over and hugs her from behind, whispering things in her ear to make her laugh.

  I feel a twinge in my stomach and have to look away. Does he know I'm here as well or has he 'forgotten I was here' this morning, too?

  "Morning," he says finally, and I know he’s talking to me even if he manages to avoid eye contact.

  I sit down at the table with my coffee and cookies and smile at him in silence.

  "Jess, you seen my brother anywhere? He didn't come home last night."

  He's asking her because, apparently, I don't exist.

  The door opens again and Mark jogs in. "Wow, coffee! Good morning." He winks at me. "Cat."

  "What happened to you? Where did you come from?" Ben asks as he pours orange juice into a glass.

  "Home," Mark replies without hesitation.

  Then Erika walks in and I hold my breath. She's going to tell everyone and I'm going to die of embarrassment.

  "You didn't sleep at home. Your bed's not been slept in."

  Mark doesn't reply and pretends to read the list of ingredients on the back of a cereal box.

  Erika sits down next to me and gives me a complicit glance.

  "I slept here," Mark says, without bothering to look at his brother, and I break out in a cold sweat, the
drops running down my back.

  They'll think I'm some kind of slut.

  "You slept here?" asks Jessica in surprise.

  "Yup, in Erika's room." Mark finally lifts his gaze and I feel my neurons freeze over. Why is he lying like this?

  Ben and Jessica turn to look at Erika while Mark and I stare at each other. He sticks his tongue out at me and he's no idea how grateful I am.

  "Yes, he slept in my room. We were chatting and then, it seems, we fell asleep." She kicks me softly under the table and I almost choke on my coffee. Ben's inquiring gaze moves over to me and I swallow loudly. Jessica isn't a problem but Ben...it's as if he can see inside me and it makes me nervous.

  "Mark, I can't give you a ride this morning, I have class at 11:00 but I've got stuff to take care of with Jess first." Ben drinks his orange juice then grabs a cookie from the packet in front of me, lightly brushing my shoulder as he reaches over.

  "Can I get a ride with you?" Mark asks me, still ignoring his brother. Is he pissed with him now?

  "Sure, we're leaving in fifteen minutes," I reply faintly, still stunned by Ben's involuntary touch. There's no justification for feeling like this. I'm not twelve. Am I? Really can’t tell at the moment.

  "And can I drive your car?" Mark bites his lower lip and leans forward provocatively.

  "Don't push it!"

  "Mmm, then I'm going to have to be a good boy and sit there and admire the way you work that stick!" He bursts out laughing and I throw my cookie in his face.

  Everyone laughs, except Ben, who storms out of the kitchen without saying a word. Mark watches him leave and his smile disappears.

  "Okay, Mark. You've seen me half-naked, you've slept in my bed, and you've already held your hideous erection up against my leg a couple of times so, come on, why are you so annoyed with your brother?"