Broken Angel (English Edition) Read online

  “Please, Lissa. Maybe it's my last chance to meet my idol.”

  "I'll meet him, not you."

  "You're going to be a long time together, and if you're as nice to him as you are to me, you can become friends, and maybe I'll get him to say hello."

  “All this for a damn "hi"? Seriously, Ang, I do not know why you are so crazy about him.”

  "Please, sister! It might be my last chance ... I'd like to live this, but I can’t. But if you're there, it's almost as if I were there, too.”

  “Damn, that's a low, sis!”

  Angela cast a hopeful glance at her best friend, and Lissa could not find the courage to deny to her something that seemed so important to her.

  “I'll think about it...”

  The brunette was hugged tightly.

  “You are awesome! Gabriel is very lucky to be with you in this tour. You are going to have a lot of fun. He will worship you.”

  “Come on, Ang!” Melissa returned the hug. "Nobody, except you, loves me."

  "My parents love you.”

  "Your parents tolerate me because of you."

  “We still have...”

  “Whatever, Angela. I do not care. I'm fine as I am.”

  “Oh, Lissa! This is a great opportunity to make new friends...”. Breaking the embrace, Angela moved away and tenderly touched one of the self-induced scars on her friend's arms. "It's a great opportunity to have lots of fun, and forget the problems."

  "You bet I'll have fun like never.” Lissa walked away, intending to go back to the bathroom and pick up her jacket. She felt too exposed with her arms outstretched.

  Something in the brunette's tone of voice caught Angela's attention.

  "What are you going to get ready for?"

  Melissa Bittencourt slipped back into her room and slipped on her belt.

  "I'll put a little fire on this tour. I'm going to make it as hot and fun as hell”.

  "You're not going to do anything to ruin the tour, are you?"

  Lissa walked to her purse, picked up her packet of cigarette and lighter, and walked to the porch door.

  “Wait and see.” She said with a malicious smile before leaving.

  CHAPTER TWO - THE SCIENTIST

  "Nobody said it was easy

  No one ever said it would be this hard”[4]

  T he PUB was full of people. It was the end of the week, and it seemed Seattle had decided to show up there. For Melissa Bittencourt this was great because she loved it when she had a lot of work to do, since that means hours away from home. It was 06:00pm when she finally got to the bar. The last hours with Angela had been difficult. The girl never imagined that her friend could do so much blackmail... and how could she deny that girl something? Angela was one of the few good things in her life, and even in her dreams Lissa would dare to disappoint her.

  The brunette crossed the place quickly dodging the people, because she was already very late. Luckily David Clark, the PUB manager, was a friend, and he almost never gave her a scolding, not even when she deserved it. Glancing at the wristwatch again, the girl ran into the locker room, locked herself in one of the reserved rooms and changed her clothes, replacing them for the uniform of the bar.

  One of Melissa Bittencourt's reasons for loving Seattle was the cold weather, so she could wear long sleeved sweaters, coats, and other accoutrements that hid the scars scattered on her arms and legs. The PUB uniform was great for this. The blouse was long, black and tight, leaving only a piece of the belly uncovered. The skirt was halfway up her thighs, and it hid the marks on her groin. To complete the look, Lissa wore a pair of dark boots to match the outfit.

  Looking at herself in the mirror, the girl made a very heavy makeup to hide her dark circles, tied her black hair in a tight ponytail and was ready for another day's work. He took a deep breath and plunged back into the immense stream of people scattered all over the bar. She puts a smile on her face and went to the counter where David worked as a bartender.

  “Good evening!” She greeted the boss, who helped with the drinks.

  David grinned at her.

  “Good evening! Hey what’s up?”

  “Fine. Full house today, huh? “

  "Well…" He said cheerfully "Some groups of graduates from the University of Washington have booked the PUB today.

  "I love it when the house gets so full." Lissa studied David's situation well and arched one eyebrow. "Now that I've noticed ... Why are you at the bar?"

  "Sam's daughter got sick, and he had to take her to the hospital." He shrugged. "I had to replace him.”

  “You make amazing drinks, I'm sure everyone will love.”

  “Thank you, Lissa. But you know, you don’t have to kiss my ass.”

  The girl showed the middle finger to him.

  “Fuck you, David.”

  "Is that the way you talk to your boss?"

  “What are you going to do? Fire me?

  He chuckled and shook his head.

  "Will you never change?"

  “Never! So, what do I have to do? I'm getting bored already.”

  “Talk to me bored you?”

  "Don’t be dramatic, David.”

  “Ah” He left the drink aside, spread his hands on the counter, and looked the savagely beautiful and sassy girl “What's this contest? I saw your picture kissing a banner of Gabriel Voss on TV, and he was sending you a message. Did you really subscribe to that?”

  Lissa rolled her eyes and sighed. By that time everyone was already aware of that fucking contest.

  "No. It was Angela”

  David burst out laughing.

  “Seriously! Did she do it? Even knowing you hate the guy?”

  “She did! And used the disease to blackmail me...”

  “How complicated it is! Will you go?”

  "Do I have a choice? You know I do everything for Ang.”

  "But then you'd have to go away for a whole year... I don’t know if I can hold your seat."

  Lissa apprehensively bit her lip.

  “I know.” She sighed in despair. "I don’t know what to do... Ang is so excited and I did not want to disappoint her, but I don’t want to lose my job either.”

  "Hey." David nudged his shoulder. "I'm just joking. If you want to go on tour you can go. Your job will be waiting for you when you get back.”

  "You're so kind to me ... I do not know why Angela and you treat me so well."

  "You're an incredible girl, Lissa. You just do not realize that.”

  The conversation was becoming too emotional for the girl's taste. Feeling extremely uncomfortable about the subject, Melissa did the only thing she could do in that situation: She lifted her head, donned her mask of indifference, and walk in the middle of the people.

  “I’m done to talk. Give me something to serve those little playboys”.

  David nodded and went back to prepare the drink. It was no use insisting. He tried as hard as he might, but he could never break the barrier Lissa had built in her heart. The saddest thing for the young man was that he really liked the girl and wanted her to realize how special she was, but she always found a way to belittle herself and get away from anything that involved feelings. David did not know for sure when he started liking her, he just adored her odd and moody mood. He hoped one day he would be able to tell her that without fearing to get punched in the face.

  "Here." He handed the drinks on a tray for her. "Table five.”

  “Ok.”

  "Oh." He tapped his forehead. "I was forgetting.”

  He bent down and picked up something from the counter and handed it to her.

  “What the fuck?” Lissa grimaced at the sight of a headpiece of moose horns.

  "It's the accessory of the month," David shrugged. "How close are we to Christmas?"

  “Close? It's still over a month away.”

  “We have to get in the mood. The other girls are wearing it. Do have not you noticed?

  “No.”

  “Come on, put it on ...
it's going to be cute.”

  "I will not put that crap in anyway."

  "I'm your boss and I'm telling you to put it on."

  David crossed his arms, trying to show authority.

  “For your information, I don’t give a damn.”

  “Lissa, please! It'll be strange if you're the only waitress without the horns."

  "David, this is ridiculous!"

  "Everything that is not black and sinister is ridiculous to you, but there are normal people here too, you know.”

  "Okay," she snorted and put on the headpiece. "Is that good for you?"

  “Great! It's a beautiful thing to see.”

  Lissa smiled wryly and showed him her finger, picked up the tray and started working. Despite liking the PUB and David being a very good boss, Melissa was not happy with the job... except that it was a great excuse to stay away from home.

  As she walked among the sweaty, tumultuous people who danced electronic music, Lissa scanned the scene in front of her. Those people had no idea what suffering was. They were to live the life in the most futile and pointless ways possible. Suddenly she wondered what it would have been like to have gone to college. Would she one day celebrate with her friends at some funky PUB, not caring about anything but fun? Immediately she pushed the thought out of her mind and repeated to herself for the thousandth time that working as a waitress was the most she could ever do in life and she had to accept it. There was a small part inside her that insisted on dreaming of a better future... a future she would never have. The college had already gone into space, and the only friends she had were Angela and David.

  "Hey, moose", a girl shouted.

  Lissa looked at her questioningly and then remembered the damn horns. Struggling hard not to send the girl to shit, she simply gave him her best half-hearted smile.

  “Yes? “

  "Are these our drinks?"

  "Yes, table five."

  "At last." The girl snorted.

  “Sorry for the delay, the house is full.”

  “Ah…” The girl made a grunt “If you do not speak, I would not even have noticed...”

  Rolling her eyes and ignoring the comment, Lissa began to serve the group of friends.

  "I'm still not satisfied with the result of the contest." One of the girls said.

  “Me neither. I wanted so much to win!”

  "Who is this Melissa?"

  “Some damn lucky bitch ... Oh, how I wish I could meet Gabriel.”

  Lissa snorted and shook her head. So that was the kind of Voss’ fan? It did not surprise her that he was such an idiot.

  “Ugh” The blonde said scowling “There's too much vodka! I said I wanted almost no alcohol! Will I should draw? Are you dumb or what?

  Putting her remaining patience into space, Lissa dropped the tray on the table and stared at the girl.

  “You think that's bad? Then look elsewhere, Barbie!

  “What? Who do you think you are? I want to talk to your manager now!”

  "He's too busy to waste time with you."

  “You ... You ...”

  “Melissa Bittencourt, the girl who won the contest and will spend a whole year with Gabriel Voss while you're sucking your finger.”

  Immediately they all stared at her in amazement. At least to provoke an idiot this fucking contest served.

  “That's a lie!”

  Melissa smiled bitterly and showed the name on her uniform.

  "You'll believe me when you see me on TV."

  The waitress turned her back to the girls and went back into the crowd. There was nothing to make her more relaxed than to provoke stupid people. In that night, the girl was working more excitedly. Angela's plausible improvement had been enough to make her more cheerful and willing, and even the stupid contest would not ruin her rare moment of happiness. Angela meant much more than a friend to Lissa. They were sisters of soul and heart. The world would become so nefarious and terrible to Melissa Bittencourt without Angela Moore that the girl rejoiced at any slight improvement her friend might have. Every time the doctor said she was all right, a hope was kindled in the heart of the young waitress.

  At the break, Lissa decided to smoke. As much as she was happy for Angela, she still felt that tightness in her chest that never left her and only the nicotine could relieve a little... at least long enough to closing time.

  David's PUB did not have a suitable place for smokers, so Lissa had to settle for smoking in the bathroom, which was already routine. The girl took the cigarette pack, the lighter, a glass of vodka and led into the small, cramped bathroom of the staff.

  She had already been banned from smoking inside, but noticing the cigarette stubs on the floor she found she was not the only one to break the rules. Facing herself in the mirror, the girl noticed that the makeup was completely blurred and her eyes showed signs of weariness. Strange as it seemed, Melissa Bittencourt loved that feeling. Bringing her body to the limit of physical exhaustion was a way of causing pain to herself that she had discovered recently. And best of all, it did not leave scars.

  "If Angela found out about it, she'd give me a damn scold," she murmured to herself as she lit the cigarette and took a good swallow. The smoke rushed through her mouth, down her throat and into her lungs, releasing the substance she so badly needed.

  Suddenly she remembered the face of the girls when they discovered she had won the contest. It was so pathetic. Lissa could not stop laughing as she smoked.

  However, the smile died as soon as the cell phone began to play in the pocket of her skirt, because that touch was unique to a person. Lissa had selected that song just to know who was calling.

  "Damn," she crooned, already feeling her heart pounding in her chest. That call at that hour could only mean one thing. She did not even have to answer to find out what had happened.

  The girl threw the cigarette on the floor and stepped on it. With shaking hands, she grabbed the phone and stared at the screen for a long second before answering. The hoarse, choking voice on the other side began to tell the already well known story. Lissa felt the anger building inside her, especially when she knew that nothing would ever be done about it again. When the call was finished, the girl could hardly breathe. She rested her hands on the sink and tried to repeat the breathing exercises Angela had taught her. The slim body trembled from head to toe as the rage increases and the damn exercises were of no use at all.

  In a sudden fit of fury, anger and despair the girl broke the glass into which she drank her vodka, picked up one of the pieces, pulled the sleeve of her blouse up over her elbow, closed her eyes and sank the glass into her skin, always taking care to not going too deep, nor too far away. Immediately a small incision opened and the dark red blood began to flow. Unbearable pain and ardency had the same effect as always and gradually the tremors passed until only physical pain remained.

  Gasping and exhausted, Lissa slipped her arm under the tap and grimaced. The clear water cleared everything until the wound stopped bleeding. When the blood was already stagnant, the girl looked at herself in the mirror and wanted to break it. She could not bear to look after it, for she was disgusted and ashamed of herself.

  When she had finished cleaning up all the mess she'd made, she left the bathroom and immediately went to David for dismissal. As usual, he had answered the request. The house was full, the more people working better, but it was enough to look at the girl's tormented face to note that she could not continue working.

  "Do you want me to take you home?" He asked worriedly.

  "You do not have to," she replied, staring at him as little as possible.

  “But it's already so late ...”

  “I'll get my way. You've helped me a lot by letting me go. Thanks a lot.

  "I'm worried about you, Lissa ... What's going on?"

  “Goodbye, David.”

  And the girl left without looking back. She could not bear anyone to instigate her, or press her at that moment. David did not deserve to be treated so
coldly, but what could she do? That was her way ... That's why she preferred to stay away from people, because in the end she always hurt them.

  The cold night wind made the hairs on the back of her neck rise. In the rush to leave the PUB she had not even changed and Seattle at that time of year was simply icy. That was one of the reasons there were few people on the streets. By that time everyone was already gathered at home by the fireplace drinking hot chocolate.

  At that difficult time, Melissa Bittencourt only needed one person and went there. Fortunately, Angela did not live in a bored neighborhood surrounded by security guards everywhere. Her house was a simple townhouse, with low fences and front gardens. This made it much easier for the girl to enter the room so well known in the dead of night.

  As soon as she arrived at her friend's house, Lissa ran to the back of the bedroom window, took off her boots, and began climbing as she had done since she was a child. As expected the window was open, Angela never locked it, knowing that Lissa could come at any time.

  It was all dark when she entered. Lissa stepped on tiptoe and lay down beside her friend in bed.

  “Lissa?” Angela murmured softly. "Is that you?"

  "And who else would it be?" She said softly, too. "Do you happen to have some secret boyfriend who's been picking you up at dawn?"

  Despite the comic humor her friend tried to convey, Angela noticed something was wrong. She turned sideways and stood face to face with the well known silhouette.

  “What happened?

  "The usual" Lissa whispered in a choked voice.

  Angela knew what time it was.

  “Oh Lissa” She sat on the bed and laid her friend's head on her lap “I'm sorry!”

  "I cannot take this anymore Ang ... I cannot take this anymore ..."

  "I know." She stroked her friend's black hair affectionately. "I'm here, I'm with you.”

  "I love her" Lissa confessed, crying, her body shaking. "But I also hate her with all my heart, it's so... so disgusting. What kind of monster am I?”

  "You're no monster! You're just confused. You are human, you have the right to err ... You have the right to feel this way.”