Hope for Him (Hope Series Book #2) Read online

  Carrington gathered her stuff and walked away.

  I jogged to catch up to her.

  "Carrington."

  She stopped but didn't turn around. I turned her around and her eyes were closed and her face was puffy and wet. We were near the science buildings. If she was going to have a breakdown, it was better to do it in semi-privacy and not in the middle of campus. I pulled her toward the building. She opened her eyes but didn't protest. We ducked into the closest building and found an empty classroom inside the door.

  She dropped her stuff on the ground and walked over to the desk and leaned over it, her hands flat on the surface.

  "Carrington, what's wrong?"

  She turned around so fast, I stepped back.

  "Did you know Josh cheated on me?"

  "What?"

  "Don't lie to me Jackson. Did you know?"

  "No. Of course not." She appeared crushed all over again, and I wanted to go to her and hold her, but Tiffany popped in my head.

  What the fuck?

  I shook the image of her out of my head and stood in front of Carrington.

  "Who told you that?"

  "Apparently in a drug-induced haze, Josh had sex with some goth chick." She reached out and placed a hand on my forearm. It was a simple gesture, but it made my insides go crazy, in a good way. "And she felt the need to tell me how Josh's death was the scare she needed to get sober. Isn't that amazing?"

  "Carrington."

  "No, really. I'm so glad Josh didn't die for nothing."

  I pulled her to me and rubbed her back. I wanted her to let it go. When I told Tiffany about Carrington not wanting to talk about what happened, it wasn't true. I didn't want her talking about it because I had no clue how to help her. It was so raw for me, too.

  "Why do I have to find out about this now? Why do people feel the need to share?" she asked.

  "Oh, Carrington. You know the saying, misery loves company."

  "But no one has the right to be miserable but you and me."

  She laughed at herself, and I squeezed her tighter.

  "I know. I'm being ridiculous."

  "You're allowed." I kissed her on the top of her head, and she wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my chest. I smelled her hair and had to adjust myself, but I was too late.

  "Um, I'm okay." She pushed away from me.

  "You sure?" I relaxed and sat on the edge of the desk.

  "After all that Josh did to me, I never thought he cheated on me. Was I naive?"

  "Not naive, but I'm sure he did a lot of things he didn't mean to do when he was high."

  "Yeah, but sleeping with another girl. I didn't think he would cheat on me. It's like the worse thing you can do to a person because you're saying to the person you claim to love that they aren't enough. Drugs and alcohol are one thing. Those are addictions, but he wasn't addicted to sex."

  "Why are you trying to rationalize this when there’s nothing you can do about it?"

  "I know, but I wish I didn't know. I have no problem living in ignorant bliss." The side of her mouth curled up on the ends and she nibbled her bottom lip. "I'm so glad I insisted on using condoms every other time we were together."

  "You're going to drive yourself crazy second-guessing what was going on in Josh's mind. Let's talk about something else."

  "Where are you coming from?"

  "Class."

  "How do you always happened to be in the right place the right time?" she asked.

  "It's just with you. Lately, my timing has been off."

  During practice, I stayed focus, but it took effort. My decision to stay with Tiffany made it more difficult.

  "I'm sorry. I've been so in my own world." She sat in one of the desks and put her chin in her hand. "What's going on with you? How's practice going, how’s the team?"

  I narrowed my eyes and laughed.

  "What?"

  "You sound a little strange. Kind of manic."

  "Well, you're right. I'm not going to figure it out. It's so frustrating. When I think I have a handle on it all, I learn another thing or another bit of information that knocks me on my ass. I'm so tired of crying about it."

  I walked over and squatted in front of her. "I hate to see you cry."

  I reached out and touched her cheek.

  "I know. I am trying not to be one of those weepy girls. It's not a good look."

  "You're beautiful, no matter what."

  She smiled and blinked but sat back in her chair and stared.

  "Come on." I checked my phone to avoid her gaze. "I have just enough time to walk you home and give Jack a hug before practice."

  I stood up and held out my hand.

  She took it, but she dropped it as soon as she was up. She headed toward the door and I had a great view of her backside. I was a twelve-year-old boy around her. I couldn't control my hormones.

  What in the world is wrong with me?

  We strolled back to her house enjoying the comfortable silence. It's funny how people always talk about being quiet with someone as the ultimate test that the relationship was successful. I enjoyed the silence to avoid talking about all the stuff that made it hard for us. Silence was comforting because talking led us down a path neither one of us were ready to travel.

  I enjoyed being there for her today. I figured if we both maintained this type of relationship, we could sail through the semester and well on into the rest of our lives. I wasn't concerned about my feelings for Carrington or my feelings for Tiffany. I needed one and wanted the other. Neither asked me to choose, which let me off the hook.

  I smiled. She smiled back.

  When we reached her house, I followed her inside. She called out for Kayla and Jack, but no one was home. They had left a note on the whiteboard in the kitchen.

  Mamma,

  At the park, be back soon.

  Love,

  Jack

  (and Kayla)

  We stood in the kitchen and stared at each other.

  "Well, I have to go."

  "Practice."

  "Yeah." I leaned down and gave her a hug, "You sure you're okay?"

  "I'm fine. Thank you. You're always there for me. I can't ask for anything more."

  She could ask for whatever she wanted, but I was relieved she didn't.

  #

  Carrington Olivia Butler

  Jackson and I texted each other over the week, but he was busy with class and practice, and he didn't have much time for us. I tried not to take it personal.

  I didn't tell anyone else about my encounter with Candace, but it was all I could think about. Josh had this whole secret life away from me, and it made it harder to understand what he did, and why he did it. I was tired of dealing with all this new shit. I missed having something stable in my life. I craved a sense of familiar.

  When I received a call from Jackson at eight am on Saturday morning, I got my wish. It was our little ritual, his pre-game pep talk. He would call on the morning of his games, and we would talk about our week. I would give bits of useless information about the opposing team he was playing, and we would laugh a lot. I didn't expect him to call, but I was happy he did and grateful that I was prepared and we followed the script. I needed this.

  "Did you know the Arizona Sun Devils mascot was designed to resemble Walt Disney?"

  "I did not know that."

  "Yeah, apparently, the artist used to work for Disney, but maybe he didn't leave on such good terms if he immortalized his former boss into the devil."

  "I wonder why people get offended by our tribute to Seminole Nation, and they don't say a word about glorifying the devil."

  "Good point." I smiled and crawled further under my covers. Warmth spread through me as we talked.

  "What are your goals for the season?”

  "Not let anyone down."

  I bit my lip to prevent myself from confessing my heart to him. He didn't need to hear it—not right now—but I knew he wasn't talking about the game. It was everythi
ng, and I felt bad that I would cause him any sort of hurt or self-doubt. He had no idea what he was to me but coming back into his life the way I did, it wasn't fair to him.

  When he found me after my little chat with Candace, he had showed up out of nowhere and said the right things and did the right things and it was easy for him. Taking care of me when no one else was watching, but we wouldn't have those kinds of moments often.

  He had a girlfriend, and if I did confess my love for him, I wasn't sure if he would break up with her. I watched him struggle. He didn't know how to balance it all, and I didn't want to make it harder for him.

  I wanted to spend time with him, though.

  "You guys are coming home tonight?"

  "Yeah."

  "Since you missed Jack the other day, you want to come over tomorrow."

  "Um, I was going to ask if you and Jack wanted to come over to my place for dinner."

  "Oh, okay. Yeah. What time?"

  "Four o’clock." He shifted and sighed. "Tiffany is looking forward to meeting you."

  In the act normal while the love of your life tells you his girlfriend wants to meet you category, the Oscar goes to ... Carrington Olivia Butler.

  "Great. I can't wait to meet her, too."

  "You sure you're okay with this?"

  "Yes, of course. She's important to you, so I want to meet her." I cleared my throat and waited an appropriate amount of time before I got off the phone and screamed in my pillow.

  I got up and headed into the kitchen. I needed something. I wasn't much of a drinker, but I opened the cupboard and eyed the Fruity Pebbles. These were going to have to do. I poured a bowl and used Jack's whole milk. I took one bite and my eyes rolled back and my nerves calmed down.

  Sugar is so good.

  I heard a knock on the door.

  I answered it, but with a mouth full of fruity goodness.

  "Hey," Kayla said. I headed back to the kitchen.

  She eyed my bowl and shook her head.

  "What is wrong?" Kayla asked.

  "Nothing." I took my bowl to the kitchen table.

  "Mama." Jack came around the corner and ran up to me and climbed up on my lap.

  At least, my son loves me.

  I squeezed him and rubbed his back.

  "Hey Sweetie, you want to go see Jackson, tomorrow?"

  "Jaja?"

  "Yes."

  He jumped off my lap and ran into his room.

  "Where is he going?" Kayla asked.

  "I don't know." I turned back to my cereal eager to get to the fruity milk chaser. "Jackson wants me to meet his girlfriend."

  "Oh shit."

  "What? It's not that big of a deal."

  "Oh, right. Your soul mate wants you to meet his girlfriend. Yeah, no big deal."

  "I can't make it a big deal. He likes her, and if I don't want to lose him as a friend, I have to accept that."

  "You are so mature about this." Kayla stood in front of me with her hands on her hips. "You don't have to be, you know. You’re twenty years old, for goodness’ sake."

  "I'm also a mother. I don't have the luxury of being a stupid lovesick teenager."

  "You still a full-blooded American woman and Jackson is your man."

  "That's the thing. He isn't my man. He never was."

  "But you want him to be?"

  "Yeah, but it's not up to me, now is it?"

  "Well, no, but there are things we can do to push him in the right direction."

  "Like what?"

  "You have to look hot."

  I scrunched my face.

  "Not slutty hot, but sexy hot,” she continued.

  "Okay."

  "And you have to bake something and bring it. Guys love a woman who can cook."

  "What are we, in the fifties?"

  "Some things never change. Seriously, bake him some brownies or cookies. Something gooey and you hand it to him and lick your fingers. He eats it and he licks his fingers and then all he can think about is licking you."

  "Kayla." She needed to stop. All I could think about was licking Jackson, and it made me all tingly inside.

  "Oh, you should invite me, too. I can distract her while you and Jackson spend some time together."

  "What will that do?"

  "I think Jackson needs time to remember how much he loves you, that's all." She sat on the couch and leaned into me like we were conspiring to blow up the state capitol. "And, at the same time, the girl—"

  "Tiffany."

  "Really, her name is Tiffany?"

  "Yeah."

  "Well, Tiffany will see you and Jackson and Jack together, and she will see how you are made for each other. If she is any kind of a lady, she will bow out gracefully."

  "Or she'll sink her claws in further."

  "They've only been together for a couple of months, how much of a hold can she have?"

  Jack walked back into the living room and dragged his Seminole stuffed animal and his backpack. He was ready to go.

  At least one of us was.

  Chapter Ten

  Jackson Latre Mitchell

  On the field, I led my team to a blowout victory. The next morning, I woke up wishing I had a game plan in place for this dinner. How was a supposed to deal with Tiffany and not worry about Carrington?

  She texted first thing.

  Carrington: Can I invite Kayla to dinner?

  Jackson: Sure.

  I called Richard and Jeff and invited them as well. If she brought reinforcements, I needed them, too.

  Tiffany was the line. We were on opposite sides, but I had a feeling, by the end of this night, the lines would be all confused.

  Carrington parked by the curb and got out of the car; I could see her through the window. She opened the back door and leaned in to get Jack. One of my frat brothers had declared she had the most epic ass. He was right. I flashed back to how it felt pressed up against me, all round and firm. Tonight, she wore a black mini skirt and a shirt that was long in the front, but crisscrossed in a way that showed her lower back and framed her ass. She knew how to accentuate her best features.

  "Baby," Tiffany entered the foyer as I ogled Carrington through the front window.

  "They're here," I turned away from her and, willing my hard on to go away before I opened the door.

  Jack walked up the walkway but took off running when he saw me. His little legs moved fast as he yelled, "Jaja."

  I bent down to scoop him up and he clung to me. His exuberance made me smile, and I was so happy he was such a happy kid. I had known this little guy since before he was born, and I was hooked. I couldn't wait to see him grow up.

  Carrington’s smile floored me as she approached, but her expression shifted as Tiffany walked up behind me. No one would have noticed, except me.

  My shoulders tensed when Tiffany touched my back. She grinned and bit her lip, her eyes on me holding Jack. Some girls see their guys with kids and think about what a great father they would be...I had a feeling Tiffany saw me holding Jack and thought we were a little too comfortable. I waited for her to challenge me on it, with a look or a sigh, but she didn't. She stayed true to her word and wanted me to feel comfortable continuing a relationship with Carrington. She blinked her eyes, turned and watched Carrington and Kayla stroll up the walkway.

  I relaxed a bit when the sound of bass overflowed out of a black SUV pulling up to the curb. Richard and Jeff arrived ready to relieve the tension from the situation. I left Tiffany at the door and walked out to hug Carrington. With Jack as a buffer between us, my mind stayed on more wholesome thoughts.

  In the split second of our hug, I inhaled her sweet scent and my hand lingered on her back. She shifted away from me.

  "Jackson, you know Kayla."

  I hugged Kayla, but she didn't hug me back. Her eyes bore into me.

  "Hello, Jackson. How are you?"

  "I'm good. It's good to see you, Kayla. How are your parents?"

  "They’re fine."

  Richard and Jeff
scurried up the walkway, both up to no good. They waited behind Carrington and Kayla.

  When I ignored them a little too long, Jeff took it upon himself.

  "You must be Carrington." Jeff took her hand and kissed it. She smiled and giggled. He held her hand a little longer than necessary.

  "Carrington, this is Jeff," I said.

  "I know who he is. Nice game yesterday." Jeff rushed for a hundred and twenty yards and three touchdowns. Richard said he'd been watching himself on SportsCenter all morning.

  "Oh, so you're a fan," Jeff said.

  "I love the Seminoles," Carrington said with a coy smile. Could she not flirt with my running back? Was that too much to ask?

  "Carr, you remember Richard?" I asked.

  "Yeah. Of course, how are you?" She walked over and gave Richard a hug. He seemed surprised and hugged her back.

  "I'm good. It's great to see you, Carrington. Welcome back to FSU." They separated and I could have sworn he tossed her a wink.

  What the fuck is going on?

  I had a sudden urge to kick his ass down the street.

  "Well, let's not stand out in the front yard like hooligans. Come inside," Tiffany said.

  I set Jack down and Kayla took his hand. She walked toward Tiffany, and I followed. Jeff caught up with me and Richard and Carrington brought up the rear.

  I caught him leaning in and he whispered something to her. She giggled and touched his arm.

  Doesn't he realize I have the power to make him look very good or very bad on the football field?

  "Hi, you must be Tiffany?" Kayla asked.

  "Hello, and you are?"

  "Kayla Griffin."

  "Griffin?" Tiffany asked and narrowed her eyes. I shook my head, and she dropped it.

  She knelt down. "You little gorgeous thing. You must be Jack."

  Jackson hid behind Kayla's leg and when Tiffany reached out to touch him, he took off and ran back to Carrington.

  We all watched him run away. I turned to Tiffany and she stood up and cleared her throat and walked back into the house.

  "I hope you all are hungry. We have tons of food,” she yelled over he shoulder.

  Everyone settled in the living room. I helped Tiffany with the food and drinks.

  "So, that's Carrington?"

  I didn't answer her.

  "She's beautiful."