Anywhere With You Read online

  “Come on. Let’s leave the man to do his job.” She tugged me back toward the table and I reluctantly let her, putting a little extra something into my steps, swinging my hips side to side for the bartender whose eyes I could still feel on me.

  I forgot all about him when my eyes flicked to the table and took note of the female server smiling and thrusting her boobs in Luke’s face. He was eating it up, smiling and laughing as he regaled her with his wit and natural, easy-going, southern boy charm.

  I couldn’t resist sauntering over, setting my drink down, and dropping rather ungracefully into his lap. If I had given a second thought to my actions, I might have questioned the pinch of irritation I’d felt and why I was already labeling this server as bimbo in my head.

  “Hey baby,” I pretended to slur, slinging my arms around Luke’s neck and nuzzling his cheek, intentionally murmuring loud enough for everyone at the table to hear. “I found someone willing to play with us tonight. I know how much more you enjoy it when there’s another man.”

  He nearly choked and the hand he’d casually draped around me to keep my seemingly drunk ass from sliding to the floor, tightened its hold. His fingers dug painfully into my side. I bit back a grin and tipped my chin up as if just noticing the server was still standing there, looking slightly embarrassed and somewhat unsure.

  “Oh, are you going to play with us too?” I glanced back at Luke excitedly. His jaw was slack and his eyebrows nearly in his hairline. “Baby, is she the surprise you promised me? She looks so yummy.” I turned my grin back on the server when he couldn’t find his words.

  “Uh, I’m just going to …” she muttered awkwardly and then turned and scampered off.

  A chorus of laughter broke out at the table. Luke was still blinking at me like I was a crazy person.

  “What’s the matter, baby?” I took a casual sip of my drink, stifling my own giggles.

  “Very funny, sweetheart.”

  “I thought it was. I think they did too.” I scanned the faces. Shae was the only one looking at me curiously, like she was trying to figure out something that didn’t make sense.

  “Just remember, payback is a bitch.”

  “Come on, I saved you from that hussy. If anything, you should be thanking me.” I curled one arm around his neck and shifted more comfortably on his lap.

  “Hussy? I think that’s a little harsh.”

  “Please, she couldn’t have tugged that top any lower and I’m surprised you could breathe with her cleavage shoved in your face.”

  “You’re right, I’m sorry. What a whore, using her sexual charms to manipulate men for tips, as opposed to manipulating them for her sheer enjoyment.” He smirked.

  Ouch. His tone was teasing and he was only calling me out on something I’d as much as admitted to, but it stung a little coming from him.

  “Whatever,” I rolled my eyes and slid off his lap. “I’m just calling ‘em how I see ‘em.” I returned to my seat beside Shae, taking my drink and bitter feelings with me. “I don’t know why you look so smug,” I muttered under my breath for only her.

  “Yes, you do. Just like we both know what that was about. You were jealous. You feel possessive of Luke,” she whispered back.

  “You know what, I need another drink.” I stood.

  “You haven’t even finished that one.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m being preemptive. Don’t want to run out.”

  Shae simply followed me, stopping us before I reached the bar.

  “I don’t get you, Ci.”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “The way you were dancing with Luke before, and then just now.”

  Did we really have to keep going here? “That’s just how Luke and I are.”

  “You keep saying that, but I have a hard time believing it.”

  I couldn’t expect her to understand. We’d only been friends a short time. Sometimes I forgot that because of how easily the friendship formed between us. I didn’t even know how to begin to explain it to her. “Just think of Luke like my gay best friend, even though he’s not gay.” And I doubted he’d appreciate the analogy. “The way we are with each other though, it’s like that. We hit on each other, and even sometimes share physical intimacy because we’re comfortable enough with each other and respect each other enough not to let it complicate our relationship.”

  “So, you’re friends with benefits?”

  I sighed. “No. No benefiting.”

  “You know I wouldn’t judge you,” she said softly, but it only further irritated me.

  “I know you wouldn’t, but I’m not trying to sugarcoat it. Our relationship just is what it is, but it’s not romantic or sexual.”

  “It’s also not normal. You two behave like a couple without the title.”

  “Yeah, well I’ve never been so great at normal.”

  “Nor it seems are you very good at sharing Luke. Your reaction to the waitress back there, I don’t care what you say, that was jealousy.”

  “No, it wasn’t. Jealous implies feelings, and I’m allergic to that shit. Besides, she’s just a waitress we’ll never see again after tonight. Not that it would matter if she wasn’t.”

  “But wouldn’t it? Someday it won’t be just a random waitress. Someday it will be a girlfriend you won’t be able to run off. You going to tell me you won’t be jealous then?”

  “What are you doing Shae? What’s the point of this?”

  “I don’t know if there is a point or not, but if there is, I guess I just think it’d be better for you to realize it now than later.” I didn’t have a quick retort for that and she didn’t wait for me to come up with one. She returned to the table and I just stood there.

  If I was possessive it was no more so than anyone who didn’t want to share their best friend. I knew eventually he’d find a serious girlfriend and when he did I’d deal. And when he got married someday I’d deal. Because even though I wasn’t the marrying type, he totally was. He was that guy. He’d have a wife he doted on and he’d only dance with her and only hold her hand and only let her sit on his lap and he’d take her surfing and to the movies. All of our things would become their things and I wouldn’t be able to just show up at his house whenever I wanted because he wouldn’t be mine. He’d be hers, and oh shit I felt sick, like my throat was closing up and a piece of barbed wire was being tightened around my chest.

  I was having feelings. And not good ones.

  I poured back more of the drink in my hand until the glass was empty, but it wasn’t enough. I was freaking the fuck out in the middle of the bar, trying to figure out where this sudden onslaught of emotion was coming from. Locating the sign I was looking for, I ditched my glass on the nearest table top and made my way to the restrooms in the back.

  Shoving inside the ladies’ room, I ignored the woman sitting on a stool at the sink.

  “What you need, baby?” she asked when I bent over the counter, hanging my head.

  I felt like snapping at her that I just wanted a minute to myself, but I refrained. “I think I just had too much to drink,” I muttered, lifting my eyes to my reflection, and then flicking them away because I couldn’t stand what I saw.

  “Uh huh, there a man involved?”

  I glanced over at her. She had to be in her fifties, skin the color of my coffee before I filled it with cream and the sugary stuff. Her face was roughened, probably by smoke and drink, but she had kind eyes.

  “What would make you think there was?’ I asked.

  “A woman looking as sad as you do, there’s usually a man responsible.” Did I really look sad?

  I nodded, but didn’t say anything else. I could deny it to Shae all I wanted, but the truth was in the mirror. My jealousy and possessiveness over Luke were very real.

  “He a damned fool, baby,” she murmured, shaking her head, lips pursed in disapproval.

  “I think I’m the one who’s the fool,” I admitted.

  “Honey, we all been there.”

/>   “Yeah, well I’m tired of playing the fool.” Been there. Done that. Thought I was long past it.

  She clucked. “Honey, any man who don’t see what’s right in front of him, he ain’t worth your time or the tears.” He wasn’t the problem. I was, but I didn’t say that. I could feel the tears pooling, but I was determined not to let them fall. I took another hard look in the mirror and drew in a deep breath.

  Reality check fact one, you’re drunk.

  Two, you’re not in love with Luke. You can’t be.

  Three … shit, I don’t know.

  There had to be a third.

  Oh yeah, three, this is not you. You’re not this girl who cries in bathrooms. There’s a reason you don’t do feelings, Ci. No one, not even Luke, gets to make you feel this way anymore.

  Remember what happened last time you thought you had feelings for him and you two almost went there.

  You don’t want a repeat of that disaster.

  It had been a huge, awkward mistake that took us weeks to get over. I needed to lock whatever this was down, and go back out there like nothing was wrong, because nothing was.

  I straightened and the woman handed me a towelette that I used to dab at the wet corners of my eyes. “Thanks.”

  “Us women gotta take care of each other, baby.”

  I gave her a tight smile. I didn’t need anyone to take care of me. I knew better than to let myself need anyone.

  Someone else pushed inside the bathroom and I tossed the towelette in the trash. I dug a couple bucks out of my purse and handed them to the woman for her to shove inside her tip jar and then slipped back out of the bathroom with only one goal.

  I beelined straight for the bar and slapped my hand down lightly on it, getting the attention of my new friend. It was second nature when I brought the smile back out and leaned strategically over the bar, flashing what I knew was a distracting amount of cleavage. I didn’t miss that his eyes went to the cleavage before he met my gaze with that dark twinkle.

  “What can I get ya, darlin’?” The offer in those eyes was for more than alcohol. Was that a hot trickle of shame I felt, thinking back on how Luke called me out earlier?

  Yup. Pretty sure that was shame. I straightened subtly and felt my smile slip a little.

  “Uh, I need a shot of Jose.” It came out sounding like there was a question mark at the end of that statement, as if I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore.

  He poured my shot and I tried to hand over the cash for it, but he stopped me.

  “This one’s on the house,” he winked and I felt shittier. Free booze. Sexual manipulation at its finest.

  “Keep it.” I forced a smile and threw back the shot, slamming it down on the bar before walking away.

  Shae scrutinized me as I quietly slid back into my seat. Lord only knew what she was trying to see. Pulling on confidence I didn’t really feel, I plastered a smile on my face. Fake it ‘til you make it, or until the tequila kicks in and all the confusing shit drowns in a pool of alcohol.

  The three guys were chatting animatedly about sports. Seemed it was a universal language for men. Luke laughed at something Kellen said. The sound drew my eyes to his end of the table and caught his gaze as he swung it round. He wore an easy smile, his eyes lingering on me only briefly before moving on. My chest constricted, but I ignored the tight feeling. It was nothing. Luke and I were good. Everything was normal. Ten minutes ago didn’t even matter. I’d lost my shit for no reason.

  “I’m ready to get out of here,” I told Shae. I needed to move and get some fresh air. I was now regretting that shot of tequila. The only thing it had served in doing was make me feel a little queasy. Leave it to Jose to be a typical man and leave a girl unsatisfied.

  Shae gave a nod and then leaned closer to the guys, setting her hand on Kellen’s shoulder. “You ready to get out of here? Maybe check out one more place before we head back?”

  There were no objections as everyone finished off their beers and prepared to leave. We lost Marco and Zara on our way to the exit when we bumped into a group they recognized from the night before and were persuaded to stay and have another drink. We were a foursome again when we made it outside.

  The warm, muggy air did little to clear my brain of the alcohol fog. I closed my eyes for a second, hoping it might help.

  A large, warm hand came down gently on my shoulder. “You feel alright?”

  I met Luke’s soft, warm gaze.

  Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.

  “I’m good.” Or I would be as soon as he stopped looking at me like that, like he was trying to get a peek inside my soul. I don’t think so, buddy. Not even you can have that.

  I offered him a reassuring smile and then ducked my eyes to the pavement. I forced myself not to flinch when he casually tucked his arm around my shoulder.

  What was I doing? This was Luke. I was being stupid because Shae had managed to plant a seed of doubt in my head about my own feelings, as if she knew them better than me. I let my head lay against his chest as we maneuvered up the street. Every time I breathed in I caught a whiff of the slightly musky and spicy combination of the soap and deodorant he used. It was as familiar to me as my own body wash and lotion combo, and it was reassuring in this moment because it meant my world was right. It was the smell of lazy Sunday afternoons on his couch, trips up and down the coast chasing the best waves. It was comfort and shelter. He was the one person I could always go to. And sure, maybe to anyone watching us right now it might look like the reason Luke had me tucked into his side was to let everyone else know I was his.

  At that thought, a pleasant and unexpected little shiver ran down my spine.

  Luke mistook my shiver. “You cold?”

  “Maybe a little,” I lied, hoping I would get away with it since the air had cooled some and I was in a tiny dress.

  “You should have brought a coat,” he admonished, tucking me in tighter to his side and rubbing his hand up and down my arm. I didn’t actually need the warmth, but it felt nice. But was it any different than usual? Was it any different than the millions of other times Luke touched me? Damn you Shae, for this. I didn’t need to define it for her or overanalyze it in my own mind.

  “Hey,” I tipped my head up to look at his face, and his chin dipped to meet my gaze. “I’m sorry, you know about scaring off the waitress or embarrassing you by suggesting you wanted a threesome with another man.” I was really trying to mean it, but as the apology left my lips, I still couldn’t help but smirk.

  His chest rumbled with his own soft laughter. “No, you’re not.”

  “Okay, so I’m not really sorry I did it. I’m just sorry if you thought I was being a bitch.” Because I totally was.

  “Ci, you know I can take it.” He cracked a smile. “Just remember, I will get you back for it.” I had no doubt.

  A funky little joint across the street was our next stop. On the outside, it appeared to be nothing more than an old dive bar trying to cling to its glory days, but after stepping inside, there was no doubt the place was alive and kicking. It had a lot of personality. Two guys and a girl were up on stage–a guitar in one guy’s hands, some sort of banjo in the other’s, while the woman played a fiddle. They were entertaining the crowd with folky/bluegrassy renditions of popular songs.

  We stayed long enough to get another drink in our systems and end up on the dance floor again, only to stumble out the door a while later, laughing our asses off at how supremely terrible we were at dancing to the music. It was like trying to line dance and clog dance at the same time, and we mostly looked like flailing monkeys, but it was the most fun I’d had all night.

  “I think I love this city,” I shouted through my giggles and hooked my arm through Shae’s as I half skipped and half stumbled on the sidewalk.

  “I think you’re drunk,” Shae laughed and kept me from tripping and kissing the cement.

  “That too,” I conceded and then tossed a grin over my shoulder. “Hey Luke, did you get that woman’s
number?”

  Shae snickered and even Kellen chuckled.

  “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Luke grumbled. “But see if I come to your rescue next time you’re trying to fend off sexual assault.”

  I laughed harder. “Sexual assault? She was like seventy.”

  He shot me a dirty look. “That only made it scarier. It was like being groped by my grandmother, and you did nothing to help me.”

  It was true that when he’d mouthed “save me” after the woman grabbed him on the dance floor and made him her partner, I’d been too busy laughing to help him out.

  “I thought you could handle a sweet old lady.”

  “Sweet? No, but she was spry for seventy, and handsy. Really fuckin’ handsy.”

  That set off another round of laughter “Where to next?” I asked through my tears.

  “Bed, woman. It’s after midnight and it’s been a long day, and I think I’ve had enough.” Luke shoved his hands in his pockets. I glanced around at the street. It was certainly quieter, but by no means asleep yet. Though, even I had to admit it’d been a long day. Looking at Shae and Kellen, I could see they liked the sound of heading back as well.

  I gave a resigned sigh. “Fine. We can call it a night. But before we do, are you sure you don’t want to run back in there and get that woman’s number? We’ll wait for you.”

  His gaze darkened, not finding me as amusing as I found myself. “I think being molested once was enough, thanks.”

  Shae and I shared another giggle before I slipped my arm free of hers and grabbed his arm instead. “Then carry me home.”

  “I don’t think so. You can walk.” He tried to shake me off, but I persisted, tugging on his arm.

  “Pleeeeease. I’m drunk. I could trip and fall.”

  I caught the roll of his eyes and slight the twitch of his lips but he stopped. “Fine, get on.”

  With a happy grin, I leapt on his back and he caught my legs as I wrapped them around his waist. His hands were warm on the bare flesh of my thighs, and I didn’t care that I was probably flashing peeks of my ass in my dress at anyone walking behind us. I squeezed him and rested my chin on his shoulder.

  It was a quick walk back to the hostel, and nobody wasted any time falling into bed. Once my makeup was scrubbed off and my teeth brushed, I climbed into the bed above Luke’s. Dim light flickered in through the large window from the moon and streetlights outside, keeping the room from being cast in total darkness when Shae flicked the bathroom light off.