Chasing Ever After Read online

  Chapter 5

  Ace

  “You ready to do this? Or do you need me to sneak you out the back?” He knew I was joking, and truth was, I would beat the shit of him if he tried to ditch Jax at the altar, but thankfully it wasn’t necessary.

  “I’ve been ready since before I bought the damn ring man. I’d have been happy running away months ago and eloping. All this,” he gestured at his tux and out at the beach, “and all the waiting, that was for her. I’m just thankful she hasn’t come to her senses and backed out.”

  “It’s not too late. She might be running for her life as we speak.”

  “Asshole.”

  “Don’t worry man, I was just over there and I don’t think she would get very far in that dress. You can probably chase her down if she tries to bolt,” Bas chimed in.

  “You saw her, how did she look? Did she seem nervous?”

  “Just relax man,” Bas told him.

  Spade reached in the fridge, and grabbed a beer, which he handed to Ky. “Here, drink this. It’ll take the edge off and maybe you’ll quit acting like a pussy.”

  “Shut the hell up,” Ky retorted but took the beer just as Bas’ dad popped his head into our cottage, where all of us guys were getting ready. The girls were getting ready in Ky and Jax’s cabin. She’d kicked him out last night and he roomed with us. I’d say poor bastard because he’d been kept away from her for almost twenty four hours, but we were the ones who made the mistake of getting him a little drunk, and then we had to listen to him ramble on all night about how much he loved her, so really it was poor us. I’d recorded most of it on my phone and would show it to Jax later as payback.

  “Just giving you guys a heads up, go time in twenty minutes,” Bas’ dad informed us. “Ky, Pastor Mark will be waiting for you and you know what to do. The rest of you will wait in the courtyard for the girls.” We all nodded and then he disappeared again.

  If it was possible, Ky got even more antsy after that. I was beginning to think that having an evening wedding was a mistake. The anticipation was seriously killing him. I thought the bride was supposed to be the one to have a meltdown on the big day, but any second I was expecting Ky to charge out of here to go check on her, or insist that it was time now.

  He didn’t though, and when it was time, we made our way out of the cottage, clad in our tuxes and black Chuck Taylors. From there on, everything went smoothly. Ky was led away to wait with Pastor Mark, and the twenty or so people outside of the wedding party were seated down on the beach, which was closed off to ensure that the ceremony was private. The hotel brought in some security to be safe because the wedding had garnered so much attention from the media.

  Jaxyn was sort of public enemy number one right now with the crazy bitches of the female population. Ky wasn’t taking any chances that someone would ruin this day for her. Our agent and the label had wanted to turn today into a whole big affair with a celebrity guest list longer than my … well, really fucking long, but Ky had refused.

  The girls appeared in the courtyard shortly after us. I’d never tell Jaxyn this, but I didn’t even notice her at first. The first person to step out into the courtyard was the one my eyes zeroed in on, and I couldn’t look away. I’d thought she looked beautiful last night at the rehearsal and luau, but I didn’t even have words for how amazing she looked in the strapless, light green dress that swayed softly around her knees. Her curls were pulled into some fancy twist on the side and then fell over her delicate shoulder to the top of her breast. Her eyes were big and bright, and definitely more green today. Her lips looked full and downright kissable.

  All week I’d kept my distance, so I could figure out what the hell I was going to do about her, and so I wouldn’t do anything stupid. When I was around her I tried to be respectful, convince her that I could be a nice guy. Well last night changed all that. Her little admission only proved what I’d already suspected. She wanted me, and not only that, but she also liked me. Okay, so she didn’t go so far as to actually say that, but she said she didn’t hate me, which was essentially the same thing. Now all bets were off. I was done with this little dance we’d been doing. She was about to find out how far I was willing to go when I really wanted something, and I wasn’t afraid to fight dirty.

  When she finally looked over at me, I didn’t bother to hide the desire and need in my eyes. I watched her chest heave as she drew in a deep breath and her skin turned that beautiful pink that I love. I wanted to kiss her all over, following the path of the blush. I was still fixed on her, when I felt someone tugging on my arm. I hadn’t even noticed that the chorus of Skillet’s A Little More was coming in over the outdoor speakers, which was our cue. Vi and I were up. I didn’t want to tear my gaze away from Sadie, but it was show time.

  Arm in arm, Vi and I made our way out onto the beach, and took our positions. Lucy and Spade came next, followed by Sadie and Chris, the lucky bastard, and then finally Bas and Lissa. I could tell Ky was growing more anxious by the second next to me, but we all smiled and chuckled when Izzy came waltzing out, stopping to curtsy every time she tossed out petals. She also added in the occasional twirl of her dress, which was a crowd pleaser. Cute kid, and not the least bit shy. She was eating up the attention. When she made it to the end, she went to stand in front of her mom, and then the song changed. As soon as our cover of Christina Perri’s A Thousand Years started playing, which we’d recorded specifically for today, everyone else stood and then a moment later Jaxyn appeared, escorted by her brother.

  I heard Ky suck in a sharp breath, and I didn’t blame him. Our girl looked like a fucking angel. Her dress wasn’t poofy or overly extravagant. It was a long sheath of satin and lace that flowed softly over her body down to the sand. All the white made her bright turquoise and pink hair stand out even more than usual. Fuck, if I didn’t feel a little emotional watching her slowly make her way down the aisle. There was so much joy on her face. Not once did she look away from Kyden, and I was pretty sure he still hadn’t let out the breath he was holding. It was like the rest of us weren’t even here and she was just gravitating toward him. The closer she got, the wider her smile grew until it couldn’t get any bigger. I glanced over at Sadie and she was watching her friend with a few tears in her eyes.

  Shane did his thing and gave her away, and Ky immediately took her hands in his. It would have taken a crowbar to pry their entwined fingers apart.

  “Dear friends and family,” the pastor began, “it is with great affection that we have gathered here to witness and bless this union between Kyden James McCabe and Jaxyn Avery Zane. Let us remember that marriage is a holy institute, established and sanctified by God, and therefore is not to be entered into lightly, but humbly and reverently. They come to this sacred moment, each bringing the fullness of their hearts to share with one another and be united. They bring their dreams and fears, their unique gifts and personalities, and lay all that they are before one another and before God as He binds them together with love, and their spirits become one. Let us now pray that God would watch over and bless them as they embark on this journey and build their lives together.” We all bowed our heads.

  “Heavenly father, we thank you for the joy of this occasion and the beautiful souls that stand before us all today. We pray for your presence in this moment and in every moment on the road ahead. We do not know what life will bring, but we ask that you would protect and guide Jaxyn and Kyden on their journey. Help them, in all times, to remember the love they have for each other today, and that no one is perfect. Help them to see the best in each other even in the worst of times. Help them to not only respect their differences, but cherish the ideas, opinions, beliefs, hopes and fears that make them unique. We ask that you would help them to grow emotionally and spiritually but never apart. Love has been Your greatest gift to this world, and we ask that you would help them to treasure it, hang on to it and choose it always. In Jesus’ holy name, Amen.”

  Everyone softly echoed the “amen.” Then he went o
n with the ceremony and when the vows were finally exchanged, there weren’t enough tissues in the place to dry the tears that were shed. I watched the tears of joy that ran down Jaxyn’s face when Kyden pledged himself to her with words he had written himself. He’s always had a way with words, that’s why he writes most of our songs, but even I was affected by the vulnerability he displayed when he revealed the depth of his love for her. Jaxyn was barely able to make it through her own vows, she was so choked up.

  Not a single one of the girls had dry eyes, and when I saw Sadie furiously wiping at hers, something inside me cracked. I could see her happiness for her friend, but I could also see a deep sadness and longing that I don’t think anyone else would have noticed. I’d watched her so many times when she thought she was unobserved, that I’d become in tune with her reactions and emotions. Her face was so expressive, especially her eyes. They told me so much, even when she tried to keep it all in. I wanted to wipe away every trace of sadness I saw. I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her how amazing and special she was while I made love to her. She was mine, even if she didn’t know it yet. I just needed one night with her to show her how good we could be, how good I could make her feel. I needed her to let me in, completely open up to me, just once, and I would bury myself so deep inside of her that I would brand myself on her soul. Permanently.

  Shit.

  I was a fucking goner, and as much as those thoughts thrilled me, they also terrified the hell out of me. I tried to focus on the reason we were all here today. I tried to clear my head and pay attention to the ceremony taking place, but it was damn hard when all I could think about was how I’d never felt this way before, so completely out of control and consumed.

  Everyone whistled and cheered when the newlyweds finally shared their first kiss as husband and wife. There was no orderly procession away from the beach, no receiving line. Nobody remained seated or waited patiently to be dismissed. We rushed them. Bas and I scooped Jax up onto our shoulders before she or Ky could protest, and we took off down the beach with everyone following after us.

  Inside of the hotel, we finally set her down. One of the ballrooms inside was decorated and set up for the small reception. There were flowers and frilly shit all over the room, and the DJ we hired out, who was supposed to be the best on the island, was set up on the stage. There was also an indoor waterfall that took up most of one wall, surrounded by rocks and more flowers, that ran down into a small pool that looked like a lagoon. The pest part was the huge buffet table full of food.

  I let out a low whistle when I took it all in and we set Jaxyn down on her feet. She gasped as she looked around the room as well. I guess she hadn’t seen it yet either. She didn’t have a lot of time to take it in before she was passed around the room, from one embrace to another. Nobody was brave enough to hug Ky, he wasn’t overly fond of any displays of emotion except when it came to Jax. The guys all shook his hand, and Dr. Cross pushed the boundaries by patting him on the back, but when it was my turn I didn’t give him a choice. I hugged the shit out the asshole until he finally gave in.

  “Congrats man, that was really some beautiful shit. I’m happy for both of you.”

  “Thanks,” He chuckled and shoved me off of him. “Is everything set?”

  “Yep, you’re good to go,” I told him, and then grinned, “but you know man, I’m pretty sure on your wedding night, getting laid is a given. I don’t think you have to go through all this.”

  “Ha. Ha. Very funny asshole.”

  It was just too fucking funny that the biggest manwhore to ever grace the stages of Massachusetts ended up with a virgin who wouldn’t give it up outside of marriage. We all enjoyed giving him a bad time about it, but as much shit as we gave Ky, it never actually seemed to bother him that they weren’t having sex. We never said shit in front of Jax though. Okay, that’s not entirely true. We may have teased her a little bit, but we all loved her, and I’m pretty sure I could speak for each of us assholes and say that we all respected the hell out of her. Not to mention that she was well on her way to the fairytale ending she’d always wanted, so maybe she was on to something and was the only one of us that had this love shit figured out.

  I still didn’t understand how Ky did it though. At first I thought he was full of it, just spinning shit and pretending to be okay with it, so he wouldn’t let on how frustrated he actually was. I didn’t think there was any way that a guy who was getting it as much as Ky was before, could just go cold turkey and be okay with it. I honestly expected it to be the thing that broke them. I think for the first six months all of us were just waiting for him to screw up and cheat on Jax, but he didn’t. We never even saw him look at another girl that way once he and Jax finally got their shit worked out. I love Jax, but fuck I don’t think I could do it; wait that long. I never would have believed that you could really love someone and really connect with them, without being physically intimate. I was starting to realize that maybe I didn’t know shit though. Sadie was turning me completely upside down, but I think I was okay with it.

  Jules had done a number on me, and maybe at first I was a little bitter about love, but I was never as cynical as Ky, not believing in it. My parents have been happily married for forty one years. My older brother and his wife are going strong on twelve years, Bas and Lissa are happy, and Jax and Ky, I mean shit. I stood there as the music started and watched them share their first dance. Love was practically pouring out of them. I was surrounded by it, at all different stages. I guess I’d just been waiting for the right girl who made me believe the risk was worth it again. I was pretty sure Sadie would be worth it.

  “Hey man, are you finally going to man up and make your move with Sadie tonight?” Spade came up beside me.

  “I’m pretty sure it’s not your business jackass.”

  “Come on, you need to hit that already so you’ll quit obsessing over the girl, and I want the room to myself tonight so I can take my date back and –”

  “Dance with me friend.” Jax grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the dance floor, saving me from having to listen to what Spade planned to do with his date later tonight. I hadn’t even noticed that the first song had already transitioned into a new one and everyone had joined in on the dance floor. Ky was currently twirling Iz around while she giggled furiously. I took Jax’s hand in mine and spun her around before pulling her back into my arms.

  “Smooth moves,” she laughed.

  “You haven’t seen anything yet, baby girl. It’s not too late for you to run away with me.” I winked and she rolled her eyes and then they flitted over my shoulder and stopped on something before she looked back at me with a knowing smile.

  “I don’t think I’m the one you want to run away with.”

  I spun us so that I could look, already knowing who I would see. Sadie was dancing with Mateo, and even though he was here with a date, I still had to fight the urge to go yank her out of his arms. I’d seen the way she had practically drooled over him last night at the luau, and I knew him too well to be comfortable with his hands anywhere on her. My chest constricted and my mind roared, she’s mine! This possessive shit was definitely new to me, but I wasn’t questioning it.

  “That’s what I thought, but you had better be planning to do more than just ‘hit that’ ”

  “Come on sweetheart, you know me better than that. Spade was just being Spade. If all I wanted was sex, I wouldn’t be so damn hung up on one girl.” I wanted her to be mine in every way. I wanted to posses her body and soul.

  “Good, because I’d hate to have to sneak into your room at night and remove your favorite appendage.” I cringed at her threat.

  “Shit baby girl, don’t say things like that. It hurts just thinking about it.”

  “I know you care about Sadie, I just want to make sure you don’t pull a stupid guy move and screw it all up because you don’t know how to deal with your man feelings.”

  “My man feelings? Really?” I raised an eyebrow at her. “I think
I’m handling them just fine. I know what I want with Sadie. I want everything, so you don’t have to worry,” I reassured her that I wasn’t out to hurt her friend.

  “I do worry though Ace. I love you both, and I see the way you both feel, but the two of you are not on the same page and seducing her won’t get you there, but I’m afraid that’s exactly what you’ll do. She’s convinced that’s all you want from her and it won’t get you her trust or her heart.”

  “So then what do I do? In my past relationships, connecting physically was really important, but I didn’t feel for any of them what I’m feeling now.”

  “You prove her wrong. If you want more, then show her.”

  I couldn’t even remember ever feeling this strongly about Jules. Sure I’d been pissed when she told me she was leaving me for someone else, and I’d thought she broke my heart, but really I think I was more upset about losing the ideal I’d had in my head of what we would be, what our future would be. My feelings for Sadie went beyond what I’d felt for Jules, even though I didn’t know how that was possible.

  Jules and I had a very physical relationship. We got together in high school, she was my first and I was hers. After that we couldn’t get enough of each other and right away sex became the foundation of our relationship. It was how we communicated, told each other what we felt, it was even our solution during fights, but it hadn’t been enough. I thought it would make us stronger, but maybe it was what destroyed us. As soon as I was gone, she sought sex elsewhere. I found out afterward that the douche bag she left me for wasn’t even the first. She had other guys in our bed six months after my deployment. I was a fool to have thought she’d wait four years for me. It was easy to call her a cheating whore or an unfaithful bitch, but maybe it was partly my fault as well. I got that now and I didn’t want that with Sadie, but I didn’t know how to show her what she meant to me without, uh really showing her in the way that would have her screaming my name.