A Year to Clear Read online

  Thoughts I can zap right now . . .

  DAY 144

  NOT ALLOWED

  “When you confronted the victim . . . strike that. When you saw the man with the knife . . . strike that . . .” Courtroom instructions like these can prove challenging for a juror. I mean, seriously, unless you've been lobotomized, erasing a highly charged thought that has made its way into your headspace is not exactly the easiest thing to do.

  My experience shows that powerful words create powerful images. And powerful images have a way of sticking like Velcro to anything or anyone that moves. How does one simply ignore a comment that carries tremendous charge?

  Easy. You just. don't. go. there.

  Just like a courtroom judge instructs, “Nope, can't use it. Not allowed.”

  Today, notice what your monkey mind does when you say “no” or “stop it!” Allow the queasy, tantrum-y impulses to simply be.

  Explore

  Telling my monkey mind to “stop it!” feels . . .

  It is easy (or not so easy) to stop the mental noise because . . .

  DAY 145

  LEAVE IT!

  We all get stuck on something. Today's terrific tip on getting unstuck is courtesy of another one of my students in my online course (thank you, Jim W.!):

  The one sentence I use when I feel attachment coming on is “Leave it!” A dog trainer taught me to say that to my dog a couple years ago. It's what I tell her when we go walking and she gets stuck on something, but I sometimes forget that it works for me too.

  Try it: Next time the monkey mind starts grasping (or screeching), gently pull the imaginary leash and firmly say, Leave it!

  And notice what happens.

  Explore

  What happens when I say, “Leave it!” . . .

  What works best to stop the noise in my mind . . .

  DAY 146

  EFFORT NOT REQUIRED

  If you're trying too hard to experience freedom and joy, it's probably because you got stuck on the wrong channel.

  As Abraham-Hicks wisely suggests,

  You cannot struggle to joy. Struggle and joy are not on the same channel. You joy your way to joy. You laugh your way to success. It is through your joy that good things come.

  Notice the ways that you try harder than you should to be joyful. What can you do to change the channel on your experience?

  Explore

  Ways that I struggle to joy . . .

  I can switch to the joy channel by . . .

  DAY 147

  CHECK IN—TAMING THE MONKEY MIND

  The focus this week was to use simple tools to mind the mind games and change the proverbial channel.

  What are some of the games your mind plays? What has helped you mind (and mine) them?

  Explore

  Some of the games my mind plays . . .

  What has helped me recognize and stop the mind games this week . . .

  WEEK 22

  CULTIVATING EASE

  Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life—and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.

  —Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

  DAY 148

  IN THE FLOW

  Last year, while I was in Mexico, I did something completely out of character for my introverted, worker-bee self.

  My Mexican cousin and his posse of ten friends from Mexico City were in town for the weekend. I bumped into them on the street, and like a little tornado of joy they scooped me up and took me to lunch. Only this lunch lasted five hours, and moved on to dinner—at another restaurant outside of town. Our day together went from 1:30 to 11:30 p.m.

  We laughed the entire time.

  When was the last time you sat with a group of people, eating, schmoozing, and not caring what time it was or what was on the agenda?

  If you're thinking prom night, it's been too long.

  Explore

  Last time I experienced total ease and joy was . . .

  It is easy (or not easy) for me to go with the flow because . . .

  DAY 149

  CHOOSE EASE

  If I had to choose one phrase from my clearing toolkit that works wonders to quiet the noisy mind and calm the nervous system, it would be this: “I choose ease.”

  Just saying it slowly seems to have magical powers. The phrase cuts right through stress, jangliness, crankiness, and fatigue, especially if you imagine yourself receiving the phrase like a sponge soaking up water.

  Try saying it out loud and watch what happens.

  I . . .

  choose . . .

  ease.

  Explore

  When I repeat the phrase “I choose ease” out loud, I feel . . .

  One thing I can do today to invite greater ease is . . .

  DAY 150

  EASE MEDITATION

  Today, I invite you to play with ease by practicing the following steps:

  Close your eyes, and take a deep breath in and a slow, emptying breath out.

  When you feel centered, s-l-o-w-l-y repeat the phrase, “I choose ease” on every outbreath for one minute.

  Receive the essential nutrients of this phrase, like a sponge soaking up water.

  Repeat the phrase even—and especially—if your life doesn't feel very easy right now. Every time the mind pipes in with its litany of reasons why ease is not possible, say it again. And again.

  When you feel ready, open your eyes and look around. Notice how you feel.

  How does the world respond to you when you're calm?

  Explore

  Some ways I can cultivate more ease in my life are . . .

  When I'm calm, the world responds with . . .

  DAY 151

  NOT ALL CLEARING IS THE SAME

  As I see it, there is clearing and there is clearing.

  There is the old paradigm of clearing clutter that makes us feel bad when we fail and sets us up for disappointment, again and again.

  And there's another way, a simpler way, that is infinitely more forgiving and sustainable; a new paradigm that takes the long view and makes us feel capable and good no matter how small the effort.

  For us to release the stress and stuff we've been carrying forever, we need to shift our mindset away from the idea of effort and struggle. For clearing to be fun and lasting, we need to undo the notion that we need to “do.”

  You cannot will yourself into a state of ease.

  Sit back and be receptive today. If you don't know how, ask your higher self to show you.

  Explore

  When I stop efforting, I feel . . .

  What happens when I stop trying so hard . . .

  What I can do today to be more receptive . . .

  DAY 152

  DEAR ONE, EASE UP

  If ease does not come easily to you (and even if it does), you might appreciate this short piece by bestselling author Elizabeth Gilbert, excerpted from a free e-book compilation by Seth Godin called What Matters Now:

  Dear ones, EASE UP. Pump the brakes. Take a step back. Seriously. Take two steps back. Turn off all your electronics and surrender over all your aspirations and do absolutely nothing for a spell . . .

  Consider actually exhaling. Find a body of water and float. Hit a tennis ball against a wall. Tell your colleagues that you're off meditating (people take meditation seriously, so you'll be absolved from guilt) and then actually, secretly, nap.

  My radical suggestion? Cease participation, if only for one day this year—if only to make sure that we don't lose forever the rare and vanishing human talent of appreciating ease.

  What is one thing you can “not do” right now to invite greater ease? Notice what it feels like to consciously not do.

  Explore

  One thing I can “not do” for one minute right now is . . .

  What it feels like to consciously not do . . .

  DAY 153

  EMERGENCE(Y)

  Thanks to Mother Nature and major flooding in our area one year, our basemen
t took a pretty big hit. It was an ugly, exhausting three weeks of drying out, digging out, and extreme clearing that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

  We may cultivate easeful non-effort 'til the cows come home, but what happens when we're faced with a crisis? What happens when taking action is critical?

  There is no question that action is needed. But action has an even greater impact when it is bolstered by intention, non-identification, and compassion. These Four Pathways of Clearing work as a team. Your team.

  This is where your slow-drip practices in awareness, compassionate detachment, and self-care become a lifeline. All those opportunities to clear in baby steps are working to grow your spacious muscle so that when you're thrown a nasty curve ball you'll be ready. You'll be able to embrace anything that comes your way with equanimity.

  Explore

  A crisis that I've had to face is . . .

  I handled this crisis by . . .

  I know I'll be able to embrace anything that comes my way because . . .

  DAY 154

  CHECK IN—CULTIVATING EASE

  The focus this week was to cultivate some of clearing's most essential nutrients of non-efforting: ease and receptivity. Adopting a daily clearing practice that incorporates the Four Pathways of Clearing—intention, action, non-identification, and compassion—helps to grow our spacious muscle and balances doing with non-doing.

  How does ease show up in your life? Why is it safe to put forth less effort?

  Explore

  Ways that ease shows up in my life . . .

  It is safe for me to “effort less” because . . .

  WEEK 23

  TENDING THE HOME

  The tidiest home in the world does not guarantee me a peaceful mind. It is my responsibility to hold myself gently at those times in which nothing feels right at all . . . and look back on all the small steps of progress that have led here.

  —Marti S.

  DAY 155

  PET PEEVES

  Here's something that mystifies me: piling a layer of wet dishes on top of a drainer full of dry dishes instead of putting away the original set. Am I the only one who feels this way?

  This is not about blame, mind you. I know I have my own share of unconscious behaviors that drive people nuts. But the wet-on-top-of-dry thing just doesn't make sense. It's like taking the clean laundry out of the dryer and throwing it back into the washing machine.

  How would it be if everyone on the planet took just one minute to consciously tend to one thing, pile, or area at home every day? Beginning with us here, right now.

  Try it: Tune in to one of your housekeeping frustrations for one minute. Notice your resisting behaviors. Once you've zeroed in, ask your higher self to reveal a creative solution that will address the situation and reduce the charge.

  PS If my message peeved you today, what can you do to reduce the charge? That would be a good place to start (wink).

  Explore

  One of my housekeeping pet peeves is . . .

  Tuning in to it feels . . .

  A creative solution that addresses the problem (calms the frustration) is . . .

  DAY 156

  HOME TENDING MAGIC

  Putting things away is one of those ordinary tasks that most of us do without much thought. I know that for some of you, tasks like folding the laundry, washing the dishes, or taking out the trash is a hassle that takes up precious time from other necessities. Like sleep.

  What if I told you that daily tending and putting away can be one of the most delicious experiences you can cultivate in the home, a daily practice you'll even come to crave?

  Consider today what it might feel like to be enlivened and nourished by housekeeping tasks that you “have to do,” or do on autopilot. Hold a space for that as a possibility.

  Can you feel the energy shifting (or rising) by simply reading these words? (If they bring up feelings of annoyance or any other reaction, your practice today is to give these resisting patterns some space.)

  Explore

  Housekeeping tasks that give me no pleasure . . .

  What it might feel like to be enlivened and nourished by them . . .

  DAY 157

  HOUSEKEEPING HEALS

  Yes! Housekeeping heals. Putting away every day feels good. Mindful tending has a way of growing your sense of ease and well-being.

  Don't take my word for it. These truths need to be lived and practiced for them to be fully realized.

  Try it: Take a moment to look away from this book. Do you see anything that is out of place? If so, take one minute to put it away. With awareness.

  Tend. Be Mindful. Repeat . . .

  Explore

  Something that is out of place right now . . .

  What it feels like to put it away with awareness . . .

  DAY 158

  FIND A HOME AND PUT IT AWAY

  Possessions not having a home or not being put away is much more than a housekeeping issue. It reflects a level of unconsciousness and neglect that can easily be remedied. As Gunilla Norris writes in her fabulous book, Being Home, “How we hold simplest of our tasks speaks loudly about how we hold life itself.”

  What is one thing that has no home and/or never gets put away on a regular basis? It could be your car keys, loose change, credit card receipts . . . If nothing comes to mind, consider taking another virtual tour of your home and having another heart-to-heart chat with her (see Day 81).

  Explore

  One thing that has no home (and/or never gets put away) is . . .

  What it feels like . . .

  One thing I can do today to change that is . . .

  DAY 159

  AMAZING IN THE ORDINARY

  I love it when readers and students write in to tell me how clearing is changing their lives. It is comments like these that make it all worth it, like this one from Lesly:

  I've had a real insight today. I realize that I do not pay attention when I put things away. I psychologically detach myself from doing something else more interesting. To my surprise, when I focus my awareness on placing an object carefully in its home, I get pleasure from that. Applying awareness to what I'm doing, yes, even if it is clearing up—boring clearing up—gives me pleasure. How amazing.

  There are infinite ways to insert awareness into ordinary tasks and move stuck energy. Here are some of my favorites:

  Make the bed

  Push chairs in after a meal

  Turn off the lights

  Cap the toothpaste

  Lower the toilet seat

  Fluff up the sofa pillows

  All you need is sixty seconds a day to grow a new habit. What new habits would you like to grow?

  Explore

  New habits that I would like to grow . . .

  Ways that simple daily home tending has nourished me . . . (and surprised me . . .)

  DAY 160

  H-OM-E

  It might not look like much initially, but there is a powerful ripple effect that happens when we tend our homes.

  Spend some time today reflecting on the clearing ripple effect: How are your new housekeeping habits affecting other members of your family? How are they rippling into other areas of your life?

  Not to sound like a broken record, but there is no separation. Your clearing is my clearing. Your clearing is everybody's clearing.

  Explore

  How my home tending is affecting my house . . .

  How my home tending is affecting my life . . .

  How my home tending is affecting others . . .

  DAY 161

  CHECK IN—TENDING THE HOME

  The focus this week was to experience home tending as a pathway to well-being: to transform a potentially mindless, utilitarian housekeeping task into a mindful, sacred practice that can lift, lighten, and illuminate us all.

  Did you have any aha moments this week from tending to your home or putting things away? Were any of the lessons difficult or annoying to you?

  With a monkey mi
nd in constant hover mode, it bears repeating this simple truth: Clearing is not about completing a task; it is about how you relate to the task. Allowing all of your resisting patterns to arise without doing anything to fix or manage them is where the real magic is, where the true clearing happens.

  Explore

  Finding a home for my things and putting them away regularly feels . . .

  What still (no longer) pisses me off . . .

  Aha moments that I've experienced this week . . .

  WEEK 24

  EASING PAIN

  Pain is not the same as suffering. Left to itself, the body discharges pain spontaneously, letting go of it the moment that the underlying cause is healed. Suffering is pain that we hold on to. It comes from the mind's mysterious instinct to believe that pain is good, or that it cannot be escaped, or that the person deserves it.

  —Deepak Chopra, The Book of Secrets