Redemption 03 - Return Read online

  Her mother must have sensed that the conversation was over because she stood and took a sharp breath as she looked at her watch. “Everyone will be here in fifteen minutes. I’m going upstairs to check on Cole.”

  “Okay.” Ashley waited until her mom had left the room; then she rested her head on the sofa back and closed her eyes. God, my attitude’s lousy, but Mom’s right. Why doesn’t Landon call? And how will it ever work out between the two of us with him in New York and me here?

  She pursed her lips and opened her eyes again. What did the pastor say at church last Sunday? God’s timing wasn’t always our own. Ashley had caught her father’s eyes, and the two shared a knowing look. If anyone understood the heartache of waiting, it was her parents.

  Luke had been gone for three months.

  “He’ll be back one day,” her dad said when the church service was over. “All in God’s timing.”

  But Ashley noticed his eyes were damp even as he spoke. The situation with Luke weighed on their parents every day. Since September 11, Luke told Ashley he didn’t believe in God, didn’t expect he ever would again. His relationship with everyone else in the Baxter family was strained if not absent, and her parents bore the brunt of the pain. Yes, her waiting paled in comparison to theirs. But still…

  Landon needed to make a plan, to let her know when he’d be coming back to Bloomington. That way he could tell her if he planned to marry her somewhere down the road—like once he’d met his obligation to the FDNY. That would make the year go more quickly, wouldn’t it?

  Dusk had come and gone, and darkness now fell over the April evening. The cold spring weather didn’t help Ashley’s mood. It only made it hard to get outside and paint. So, rather than be trapped in the house, she was putting in more time at Sunset Hills Adult Care Home. She loved the job, but she was restless, missing something she hadn’t quite been able to figure out.

  Something—or someone.

  Headlights flashed into the driveway, and two cars made their way toward the Baxter house. The party was about to start, and Ashley would do nothing but smile all night. Maybe, after an evening of pretending everything was okay, it actually would be. Even if her happily-ever-after seemed a million years away.

  The announcement came the moment they were seated for dinner, just as Elizabeth Baxter thought it would.

  All eyes were on Kari and Ryan, and beneath the table Elizabeth squeezed her husband’s hand. “This is it,” she whispered.

  John returned the squeeze and leaned close to her ear. “Finally.”

  Seconds felt like hours, and the entire room seemed to hold its breath. Kari and Ryan shared a smile. Then Kari shifted a sleeping little Jessica to her other arm and turned to the family. “We were going to wait until dessert, but—”

  Groans came from each of the other sisters—Brooke and Erin and Ashley. “No way, Kari…” Ashley jabbed a teasing finger in Kari’s direction. “Not after the big buildup.”

  “Yeah, you’re killing us.” Erin’s eyes shone, and she looped her arm through her husband’s.

  Elizabeth caught the exchange, and a wave of gratitude washed over her. Though she didn’t expect Luke to show up, at least the girls were doing well—Erin and Sam, Brooke and Peter, even Ashley.

  “Okay, okay.” Kari held up her hands and giggled. She leaned back against Ryan and waited again until the room was silent. “Ryan and I have been talking about things.” She glanced up at him. “We’ve been meeting with Pastor Mark for the past month and—” Her voice broke, and she looked to Ryan for help.

  Elizabeth felt the sting of tears in her own eyes as she watched them. Hadn’t it been yesterday when they were thirteen and fifteen, a couple of kids meeting each other for the first time at a neighborhood barbecue? And in the years that followed, hadn’t they all believed that someday it would come to this? Elizabeth swallowed back the lump in her throat, willing her daughter the strength to do the same.

  “I’ve asked Kari to be my wife.” Ryan gave Kari a slight squeeze and the briefest kiss. “And she said yes.”

  Erin’s squeal came first, followed by a chorus of clapping and congratulations.

  “I knew it!” Ashley grinned and pushed back her chair, leading the way as everyone—even Cole—got up and surrounded the beaming couple and exchanged hugs and kisses.

  “We’re getting married September twenty-first!” Kari cast a quick grin at Ryan, and then back at the others. “Isn’t that amazing?”

  John exhaled and let his shoulders slump forward as he chuckled. “I couldn’t have kept the secret another minute.”

  “Oh, Kari, it’ll be a gorgeous wedding!” Brooke put her arms around them. “I’m so happy for you guys.”

  “And guess where we’re having it?” Kari leaned forward, her face wreathed in the undeniable look of a young woman in love.

  Erin brought her hands together. “Here?”

  “Yes. The ceremony and the reception.” Kari leaned back. “We want a big white tent where we can eat and celebrate and dance into the night.”

  “A backyard wedding!” Ashley hooted and high-fived Brooke. “That’s perfect.”

  Elizabeth slipped past the others and took Jessie from Kari. She laid her down on the sofa, covered her with a blanket, then stood next to John, just outside the circle of their children. They’d known about this for weeks, and they were content to let the others give their congratulations first. Elizabeth slid her fingers between John’s. “Did you ever think? I mean back when everything looked so awful a few years ago?”

  “Actually…” John gave a thoughtful tilt of his head. “Yes.” The celebration going on a few feet away all but drowned his voice. “There’s never been anyone for Kari like Ryan.” He sniffed hard. “I can almost feel God smiling down at us.”

  The congratulations continued, and when they were all seated again they shared sweet-and-sour pork, stir-fried vegetables, almond chicken, and steamed rice. Conversation about the wedding plans continued through dinner and on into dessert.

  “So, who’s coming?” Ashley was helping Cole with his dessert, cutting it into small pieces. “I mean, are we talking small or most of Bloomington?”

  Kari laughed, and she and Ryan took turns explaining that their wedding would be simple, no more than a hundred family members and friends. Though Kari had been married before, Ryan hadn’t, and he told the group that he planned to pay for the reception.

  “Some of my football friends want to come.” Ryan grinned at John. “I think we’ll need plenty of table space.”

  Kari wanted Brooke, Ashley, and Erin—her three sisters—to be her bridesmaids. “Long silky dresses with cap sleeves!” Kari’s eyes lit up. “How does that sound?”

  “What about you?” Ashley flashed a teasing look at Ryan. “I’m sure you can’t wait to pick out just the right tux. And you need three groomsmen, you know. That’s the way it works.”

  Ryan chuckled and gave Kari a light tap on the head. “Kari’s clued me in about all of that.”

  “He even helped pick the colors.”

  “Which are?” Erin leaned forward to get a better look at Kari and Ryan.

  “Navy blue and silver.” Ryan gave a firm nod of his head; then he tossed Kari a doubtful look. “Or was it Essence of Blue and Pewter?”

  Laughter rang out around the table. Elizabeth waited until it died down. “Did you decide on the groomsmen?”

  “Yes.” Ryan grinned at Erin’s husband. “Sam, if he’ll do it, and Peter and Luke.”

  A hush fell over the table.

  John cleared his throat. “I’m sure that’ll be perfect.”

  Elizabeth stared at her plate. The mention of Luke cast a quiet over a part of her heart, a tight, pinched feeling that choked out all other thoughts and feelings save one: He was gone. Her son, the golden boy whose laughter and promise had graced their home, was gone. No one knew when—or if—he was coming back.

  She sniffed and worked the muscles in her throat to keep from giving sadness
an edge. John was always so sure everything was going to work out. But what if it didn’t? Luke hadn’t shown up for this dinner party. What made John so sure he’d come to the wedding? Every week his absence made him feel more distant, less like the boy she’d raised. Less like he was even part of the family.

  The conversation did a pinball bounce from the date and wedding party to the type of reception they wanted—formal, with assigned seating and a ballroom floor for dancing. But the details that had occupied so much of Elizabeth’s mind the last few weeks were suddenly small and unimportant compared with the fact that Luke hadn’t come. Elizabeth smiled and nodded and tried to look interested. But inside, in the hallways of her heart, she was reliving the phone call with Reagan.

  How had the girl started the conversation? Hadn’t it been something about having some kind of news, something she wanted to tell Luke? But then they’d gotten to the truth about Luke’s new lifestyle, and talk had never gotten back to Reagan.

  Elizabeth nodded at something Erin said about planning a wedding shower, but she was only half listening. What could Reagan have to tell Luke, and why had she been so adamant about not telling him she’d called? Had she been trying to get ahold of him to tell him she still cared for him, that she wanted to have another chance at a relationship? If so, then it was no wonder the news of his new girlfriend had frightened her off, made her want to never talk to Luke again.

  The party wound down, and by eight o’clock Erin, Brooke, and Ashley were finalizing plans to meet with Kari the following week to scan the catalogues for bridesmaid dresses. Kari was the last to leave, and she gave Elizabeth a longer hug than usual. Ryan was buckling Jessie into her car seat in the truck, and John had gone upstairs, so Kari and Elizabeth were alone. For the first time that night, Kari’s eyes glistened with tears.

  “I can’t believe it, Mom…I mean, really. After all these years, we’re getting married!”

  “He’s perfect for you.” Elizabeth’s heart swelled as she cupped the side of Kari’s face. “Perfect for Jessie, too.”

  “I know.” Kari wiped at an errant tear. “I think Tim would’ve been glad that Jessie and I are getting on with life.”

  “Yes.” Elizabeth kissed her daughter’s forehead. “Everything’s going to work out just right.”

  Kari hesitated for a second and brought her hand to her mouth. “Sorry. I didn’t think I’d be so emotional now.” She uttered a sound that was more laugh than cry. “The big announcement’s over.” For a moment she seemed to steady herself, and her eyes locked on Elizabeth’s. “But I wanted to thank you, Mom. You’ve…you’ve been amazing through this whole thing. You’ve always known what to say, what to do.” She sniffed. “You’re the best mom in the world. I want you to know that.”

  Elizabeth’s throat grew thick. Mirrored in her daughter’s eyes were a hundred memories. Kari had shared each of them with her, every incident. She swallowed and the cloud of memories lifted. “It’s been a long road, my dear.”

  “And you’ve prayed me through every inch of it.”

  “Yes…” She gave Kari a wry smile. “The last few years have given your father and me calloused knees. But not just because of you.”

  They were silent, both painfully aware of why the Baxter parents had been on their knees lately. Kari gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Don’t stop praying for him, Mom. Luke’s going to be okay. I feel it in my heart.”

  “So does your dad.”

  “And Dad’s always right.” Kari’s smile was sadder now, the sparkle in her eyes dimmer. “If Luke calls, tell him we missed him.”

  When Kari was gone, Elizabeth dragged her feet up the stairs, one slow step at a time. She found John sitting near the fireplace in their room, staring at a photograph. As she came closer, she saw what it was. A framed picture of Luke and John on a hiking trip, taken a few years earlier when Luke was earning his Eagle Scout badge. The photo showed father and son, tired and happy at the end of the trip, their faces smudged as they stood side by side, their arms around each other’s necks.

  John must have sensed her presence. He stood and returned the picture to the shelf near their bedroom closet. After a beat, he turned to Elizabeth. “He should’ve been here tonight.”

  “Yes.” She went to rest her hands on his shoulders and soothe her thumbs against his neck. “It’s okay to miss him.”

  He said nothing, merely hung his head.

  “You’re always saying everything’s going to work out and that Luke’ll come home in God’s timing and that these things happen.” Her voice was soft. She knew her words were reaching the private places in his soul. “But you can’t fool me, John Baxter. You’re worried sick.”

  John gritted his teeth and lifted his head just enough so that their eyes met. “I…I feel like a part of me won’t start breathing again until we get him back. The way he used to be.”

  Elizabeth didn’t want to voice the obvious, that sometimes children make a choice to walk away and never return. That truth had hung like a sword over every conversation about Luke since he moved out. Instead she remembered once more her talk with Luke’s old girlfriend.

  “Reagan called the other day.”

  John straightened at the news, and his eyes searched hers. “Reagan?”

  “Yes. She…she said she wanted to talk to Luke. She had something to tell him.”

  “Did you tell her? About how he’s changed?”

  Elizabeth nodded. “I had to. It didn’t seem fair after all these months to let her think he was the same.”

  John opened his mouth, but only uttered a tired sigh. He took Elizabeth’s hand and led her to the love seat near the fireplace. Two logs blazed just beyond the fireplace screen, and the heat warmed the room. “Are you going to tell Luke?”

  “That’s just it.” Elizabeth stretched out her legs, enjoying how her body felt next to her husband’s. Three decades, and she still reveled in the quiet intimacy of being alone with him. “Reagan practically begged me not to tell Luke that she’d called.”

  “I thought you said she called because she needed to talk to him.”

  Elizabeth leaned her head on John’s shoulder. “That’s what she said at the beginning of the call, but by the end—after she knew the truth about Luke—she didn’t want me to say a thing about her or the phone call.”

  “Hmmm.” John was quiet. “Makes you wonder what she had to say.” He angled himself so he could see her better. “Are you going to tell him?”

  “I don’t know.” Elizabeth slid to the edge of the sofa and held her hands closer to the fire. She looked at John over her shoulder. “Should I?”

  He bit his lip. “Normally, I’d say no. If the girl doesn’t want Luke knowing that she called, so be it.” He turned and gave a long look at the photo of him and Luke. “But right now I’d do anything to get Luke’s attention. Anything at all.”

  Elizabeth stood and faced her husband. It was the answer she’d hoped he would give, because ever since dinner she’d been desperate for a reason to call Luke. She felt the corners of her mouth lift in a tentative smile. “So, I should tell him?”

  John stood and pulled her into a long embrace. When they were finished hugging, he drew back and uttered words strained with emotion. “Please, Elizabeth. Please tell him.”

  She nodded and checked her watch. It wasn’t quite nine o’clock; Luke would be awake. Maybe if she let him know about Reagan’s phone call he’d snap to his senses, leave this new girl who’d filled his head with so many lies, come home, and pour his heart out to her and John. He could call Reagan and find out she still loved him, get back on track with his faith and his future, and everything would be the way it had been before September 11, before the World Trade Center collapsed with Reagan’s father still inside.

  Elizabeth crossed the room and picked up the telephone receiver. It was a good idea, telling Luke about Reagan’s call. After all, he’d been different with her, different than he’d been with any other girl. Every other time whe
n Luke had dated a girl, he’d done so more as a way to pass the time. “In like,” Elizabeth used to call it. “Luke’s in like again.”

  Not so with Reagan. Something about her had made Luke’s eyes sparkle every day of the week, and Elizabeth knew exactly why. Luke hadn’t just liked Reagan Decker. He’d loved her.

  He probably still did.

  That alone was enough to make Elizabeth break the promise she’d made to Reagan. She drew a deep breath. Her hands trembled as she punched in her son’s new phone number and waited.

  When the phone began to ring, she did something else, the only thing that would ever bring about the miracle their son needed.

  She prayed.

  CHAPTER THREE

  LUKE SPENT AN HOUR standing in front of the apartment window, but he didn’t see the lights of Indiana University. He saw a far different sight—the scene probably taking place across Bloomington at his parents’ house.

  If the thing that had been chasing him was his past, then maybe it was time to let it catch him.

  Kari and Ryan were getting married; that had to be it. And though Luke didn’t belong with the Baxters anymore, he was happy for Kari. Ryan had been Luke’s hero as far back as he could remember. Larger-than-life, high school football star, an athlete who’d earned a full-ride college scholarship and then a spot on the Dallas Cowboys. Ryan survived one of the worst injuries the National Football League had ever seen—all while keeping his faith.

  Yes, Ryan Taylor was the best guy Luke had ever known, and until September 11 all he’d wanted was to be just like him. Okay, so he’d never play football in the NFL or even get beyond the intramural sports at IU. But still, he sort of looked like Ryan. Tall and strong, ready to bust up a room with a quick one-liner, blessed with social graces, and devoted to his faith. There were lots of ways he was just like Ryan.