Her Secret Read online

  Thinking she was simply shy, he’d tried to be friendly, everyone in his family had. But instead of looking happy to meet him or his siblings, she’d merely stared at him the way a doe might stare at an oncoming car—with a bit of weariness and a great dose of fear.

  He left her alone after that.

  Every once in a while he’d see her. At church, or at the market with her mother. She always acted kind of odd. She was mostly silent, sometimes hardly even talking to her parents or siblings. Often, when he’d see her family in town shopping, she usually wasn’t with them. When she was, he’d see her following her parents. With them, yet separate. Silently watching her surroundings like she feared she was about to step off a cliff.

  So, by his estimation, she was a strange girl. Weird.

  And her actions just now? They seemed even odder. Feeling kind of sorry for her, he got to his feet. “Hey!” he called out.

  Obviously startled, Hannah turned to him with a jerk, then froze.

  Her unusual hazel eyes appeared dilated. She looked scared to death. Rethinking the step forward he’d been about to do, he stayed where he was. Maybe she wasn’t right in the mind? Maybe she was lost and needed help.

  Feeling a little worried about her, he held up a hand. “Hey, Hannah. Are you okay?”

  But instead of answering him, or even smiling back like a normal person would, she simply stared.

  He tried again. “I’m Isaac Troyer.” When no look of recognition flickered in her eyes, he added, “I’m your neighbor. We met at church, soon after you moved in. Remember?”

  She clenched her fists but otherwise seemed to be trying hard to regain some self-control. After another second, color bloomed in her cheeks. “I’m Hannah Hilty.”

  “Yeah. I know.” Obviously, he’d known it. Hadn’t she heard him say her name? He smiled at her, hoping she’d see the humor in their conversation. It was awfully intense for two neighbors having to reacquaint themselves.

  By his reckoning, anyway.

  She still didn’t smile back. Actually, she didn’t do much of anything at all, besides gaze kind of blankly at him.

  Belatedly, he started wondering if something had happened to her on her walk. “Hey, are you okay? Are you hurt or something?”

  Her hand clenched into a fist. “Why do you ask?”

  Everything he wanted to say sounded mean and rude. “You just, uh, seem out of breath.” And she was white as a sheet, looked like she’d just seen a monster, and could hardly speak.

  Giving her an out, he said, “Are you lost?”

  “Nee.”

  He was starting to lose patience with her. All he’d wanted to do was sit on the bank with Spot and fish for an hour or two, not enter into some strange conversation with his neighbor girl.

  “Okay, then. Well, I was just fishing, so I’m going to go back and do that.”

  Just before he turned away, she took a deep breath. Then she spoke. “I’m sorry. I know I’m not making any sense.”

  “You’re making sense.” Kind of. “But that said, you don’t got anything to be sorry for. It’s obvious you, too, were looking for a couple of minutes to be by yourself.”

  “No, that ain’t it.” After taking another deep breath, she said, “Seeing you took me by surprise. That’s all.”

  Isaac wasn’t enough of a jerk to not be aware that seeing a strange man, when you thought you were alone, might be scary to a timid girl like her.

  “You took me by surprise, too. I never see anyone out here.”

  Some of the muscles in her face and neck relaxed. After another second, she seemed to come to a decision and stepped closer to him. “Is that your dog?”

  “Jah. His name is Spot, on account of the circle around his eye.”

  “He looks to be a real fine hund.” She smiled.

  And what a smile it was. Sweet, lighting up her eyes. Feeling a bit taken by surprise, too, he said, “He’s an Australian shepherd and real nice. Would you like to meet him?”

  “Sure.” She smiled again, this time displaying pretty white teeth.

  “Spot, come here, boy.”

  With a stretch and a groan, Spot stood up, stretched again, then sauntered over. When he got to Isaac’s side, he paused. Isaac ran a hand along his back, then clicked his tongue, a sign for Spot to simply be a dog.

  Spot walked right over and rubbed his nose along one of Hannah’s hands.

  She giggled softly. “Hello, Spot. Aren’t you a handsome hund?” After she let Spot sniff her hand, she ran it along his soft fur. Spot, as could be expected, closed his eyes and enjoyed the attention.

  “Look at that,” Hannah said. “He likes to be petted.”

  “He’s friendly.”

  “Do you go fishing here much?” she asked hesitantly.

  “Not as much as I’d like to. I’m pretty busy. Usually, I’m helping my father on the farm or working in my uncle’s woodworking shop.” Because she seemed interested, he admitted, “I don’t get to sit around and just enjoy the day all that much.”

  “And here I came and ruined your peace and quiet.”

  “I didn’t say that. You’re fine.”

  She didn’t look as if she believed him. Actually, she looked even more agitated. Taking a step backward, she said, “I should probably let you get back to your fishing, then.”

  “I don’t care about that. I’d rather talk to you.”

  Her eyes widened. “Oh?”

  “Jah. I mean, we’re neighbors and all.” When she still looked doubtful, he said, “Besides, everyone is curious about you.”

  “I don’t know why. I’m just an Amish girl.”

  He thought she was anything but that. “Come on,” he chided. “You know what I’m talking about.”

  Looking even more unsure, she shook her head.

  “First off, I’ve hardly even seen you around town, only on Sundays when we have church. And even then you never stray from your parents’ side. That’s kind of odd.”

  “I’m still getting used to being here in Kentucky,” she said quickly.

  “What is there to get used to?” he joked. “We’re just a small community in the middle of cave country.”

  To his surprise, she stepped back. “I guess getting used to my new home is taking me a while. But that doesn’t mean anything.”

  Aware that he’d hurt her feelings, he realized that he should have really watched his tone. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just saying that the way you’ve been acting has everyone curious. That’s why people are calling you ‘The Recluse.’”

  “‘The Recluse’?”

  “Well, jah. I mean you truly are an Amish woman of mystery,” he said, hoping she’d tease him right back like his older sister would have done.

  She did not.

  Actually, she looked like she was about to cry, and it was his doing.

  When was he ever going to learn to read people better? Actually, he should knock some sense into himself. He’d been a real jerk. “Sorry. I didn’t intend to sound so callous.”

  “Well, you certainly did.”

  “Ah, you are right. It was a bad joke.”

  “I better go.”

  Staring at her more closely, he noticed that those pretty hazel eyes of hers looked kind of shimmery, like a whole mess of tears was about to fall. Now he felt worse than bad. “Hey, are you going to be okay getting home? I could walk you back, if you’d like.”

  “Danke, nee.”

  Reaching out, he grasped Spot by his collar. “I don’t mind at all. It will give us a chance to—”

  She cut him off. “I do not want or need your help.” She was staring at him like he was scary. Like he was the type of guy who would do her harm.

  That bothered him.

  “Look, I already apologized. You don’t need to look at me like I’m going to attack you or something. I’m just trying to be a good neighbor.”

  She flinched before visibly collecting herself. “I understand. But like I said,
I don’t want your help. I will be fine.”

  When he noticed that Spot was also sensing her distress, he tried again even though he knew he should just let her go. “I was done fishing anyway. All I have to do is grab my pole. Then Spot and I could walk with you.”

  “What else do I have to say for you to listen to me?” she fairly cried out. “Isaac, I do not want you to walk me anywhere.” She turned and darted away, sliding back into the brush. No doubt about to get covered in more scratches and poison ivy.

  Well, she’d finally said his name, and it certainly did sound sweet on her lips.

  Too bad she was now certain to avoid him for the rest of her life.

  He really hoped his mother was never going to hear about how awful he’d just been. She’d be so disappointed.

  He was disappointed in himself, and was usually a lot more patient with people. He liked that about himself, too. And this girl? Well, she needed someone, too. But she seemed even afraid of her shadow.

  CHAPTER 3

  July 9

  The moment she left Isaac’s sight, Hannah decided one thing for sure and for certain. She did not want to converse with Isaac Troyer ever again.

  He was rude. He joked about things he shouldn’t, too.

  After all, what kind of man was he? Who went about calling people they didn’t know mean names, then went ahead and shared them?

  A rude man. That was who!

  She was fuming so much as she walked up her short driveway, she almost didn’t notice the trio of clay pots filled with blooming daisies resting to the left of their mail box. She might have missed them completely if their sweet perfume hadn’t been clinging to the air, practically pulling her toward them.

  As their scent engulfed her and clouded her senses, she started to feel sick.

  Trent used to give her daisies all the time. He’d buy her dozens of them from the local florists or greenhouses, wrap them in tissue paper or tie a ribbon around them, and give them to her with a smile.

  Every single time he did that, he would say something about how daisies were so like her. So fresh. So innocent. So perfect.

  The first time he’d said such things, she’d been foolish enough to be taken in by the meaningless words. She’d thought the words were sweet and original. She’d thought the daisies were special and that his efforts meant that she was more than she’d ever imagined she was.

  But then, his gifts had begun to feel like pressure. He’d wanted more flattery, more appreciation, more of all of her.

  She hadn’t ever been able to give him enough.

  Now the daisies only symbolized just how mistaken she’d been to let her vanity get the best of her. How foolish she’d been to ever trust an Englisher in the first place.

  Seeing the three pots overfilling with blooms felt like a terrible betrayal. After all, everyone in the family knew she could hardly stand to look at those flowers. Who would have purchased them and set them out for her to see the moment she got back from her walk?

  She was tempted to carry each pot across the road. There was a dark thicket of woods there. If she used all her strength, she could probably toss each one far enough into the woods that they’d be hidden from view. It was likely no one would see them for weeks, maybe even months.

  Only a need to discover who had brought the daisies to their property kept them in place. But it didn’t curb her anger.

  “What are you glaring at?” Ben asked.

  Startled, she turned to see that he was lounging on one of the brightly painted lounge chairs on the front porch.

  “Did you bring those flowers home?”

  “What flowers?”

  “Those,” she said, pointing to the daisies like they were angry dogs poised to attack.

  He stood up and stared in the direction she was pointing. “What flowers? Oh. Those daisies?”

  His obvious confusion served to take some of the anger out of her sails. “Yes. Do you know where they came from?”

  “Nee.” He continued to stare at her as if she had lost her mind, which was a pretty constant look these days.

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’m positive. I don’t go looking at pots of daisies, Hannah,” he said, his voice thick with irritation. “I didn’t even notice them. But if I had, I probably would have moved them. I have no desire to go around doing things to make you upset.”

  Feeling embarrassed, she struggled to regain her composure. “I know you don’t. I’m sorry for practically attacking you like that. I was already upset and, when I saw those flowers, something inside of me snapped.”

  “Why were you so upset? Where did you go, anyway?”

  Though she wanted nothing more than to go straight inside and retreat into the comfort and security of her room, Hannah knew she should at least try to converse with him.

  Walking up the steps, she sat down on a chair next to him. Now that they were closer, she noticed that his light-blue shirt was untucked, he was barefoot, and his straw hat was pushed back so she could see the majority of his wheat-colored bangs.

  He was a handsome boy. He’d always been. Already the girls were giving him second and third looks, which he pretended he didn’t notice.

  He also was looking fairly irritated, which was slowly becoming the norm with him. No matter what happened to him in Munfordville, he seemed determined to find fault with it. She knew he firmly placed the blame of his unhappiness on her shoulders. Though she hadn’t asked for anything that had happened to her, she figured it was only natural to resent the cause of his unhappiness.

  Because he seemed a little more content than he had been in weeks, she answered him patiently. “I went for a walk. Why?”

  He threw her an impatient glare. “You never leave the haus, Hannah.”

  “I do.”

  “Jah. For church.” He rolled his eyes. “Which means you leave once every two weeks. That pretty much counts as never.”

  “Not really. And for the record, I leave the house more than that. You know I do the shopping with Mamm,” she said with a small lift of her chin, even though she knew better than to get into a war of words with her brother. He delighted in verbal battles.

  “Shopping at the market with Mamm don’t count,” he said sagely.

  She figured it kind of didn’t, either. Whenever she ventured out with their mother, Hannah hardly left her mother’s side, and she never spoke to another person if she didn’t absolutely have to.

  However, she had left the house today, all by herself. And even though it hadn’t gone all that well—that boy, that Isaac, was awfully full of himself—she still had done it. And because of that, she felt a little more self-confident than she had been in months.

  “Never mind what I’ve been doing.” Looking Ben in the eye, she said, “Why are you sitting out here by yourself? That isn’t like you.”

  And just like that, his demeanor changed from surly teen to excited boy. “I’m waiting for someone.”

  “Really? Who?”

  “A boy about my age. He’s coming over to get me and show me around.” Looking even more confident, he said, “He’s a friend.”

  For the first time since she’d gotten home, she smiled. She really was happy for Ben. Before they’d left Berlin, he’d had a ton of friends and was always busy. He’d been having a particularly hard time adjusting to living in a much smaller town and not knowing anyone. “Who is this friend you made?”

  “Sam Troyer. He lives on the farm next to us.”

  He had to be Isaac’s brother. A flicker of unease settled inside of her, though she had no idea why. She had nothing to fear from teenagers.

  Knowing that and acting like a reasonable woman were two different things, however. “Be careful.”

  “We’re just going to walk around, Hannah. There ain’t anything to be careful about.”

  “Still . . . things happen.”

  “Fine. I’ll do my best to make sure no one takes my picture or anything,” he said sarcastically.


  His comment hurt. She hated that he felt comfortable making comments about the actions that had changed her life.

  But then she had to remember that those events had changed his life, too. He’d been uprooted from everything he’d ever known in practically the blink of an eye.

  Therefore, instead of chastising him, she walked right by and at last opened the door and strode inside. Maybe she should talk to her parents about the Troyers. After all, who knew what this Sam was like. She probably should tell them about her conversation with Isaac, too.

  “Hannah, is that you?” her father called out from their small living room.

  Curious as to why he was already sitting in the living room instead of out working in the yard, she walked over to him. “Jah, it’s me.”

  He pulled off his reading glasses and squinted up at her. “Did you have a nice walk?”

  “It was all right.” Noticing that he was sitting alone and the kitchen sounded quieter than usual, she asked, “Where’s Mamm?”

  “She’ll be back soon. She, ah, had an appointment in town.”

  Hannah thought he sounded evasive. But maybe that was simply her imagination? “And Jenny?”

  “I think Jenny is in her room working on the homework you assigned her,” he replied with a smile.

  “Gut. I’ve been nagging her something awful about it.”

  “I heard. She showed me what you assigned. You are a hard taskmaster.”

  “Not so much.” Noticing that the lines around her father’s eyes were more pronounced than usual, she said, “Are you feeling okay, Daed?”

  He looked down at his sleeve and pulled a stray thread off of one of the seams. “Of course. A man can take an afternoon off if he wants it every now and then. Ain’t so?”

  Hannah noticed that his weak smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Yes. Of course.” Right then and there she pushed aside her notion of talking to her father about how rude and brash Isaac was. She didn’t know what was on her father’s mind, but she had a strong feeling that it was much more important than her paranoia about her neighbors.

  “I’m going to my room for a little while. I’ll check on Jenny, too,” she said.