DISCERN Read online

  “I’m only twenty. There’ll be plenty of time to date again, Dad.” I rolled my eyes.

  “Not at this rate,” he mocked.

  It was time I turned the tables. “Where were you tonight?”

  “Poker.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, poker.” His voice was slightly angry.

  “What’s her name?” I asked, ignoring his response.

  “Haley, you’re ridiculous. No one could replace your mother.”

  His mention of her instantly turned me into a sobbing mess. “I know that. She left my life, too.”

  He immediately wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head. “Calm down, sweetie,” he said, trying to console.

  “I want you to be happy, too, though. It’s been almost three years since she passed. Isn’t it time for you to find love again, too?”

  “Three years is nothing compared to our thirty-two year marriage.”

  “And three weeks is nothing compared to my two-year engagement. So, I guess we’ll both move on when we’re ready.”

  “Agreed,” he smiled. “Now let’s go to bed.” He put his arm around me and gently nudged me along.

  “Good night, Dad,” I said, entering my room.

  “Good night, sweetie.”

  The house was silent again as I slid underneath my blanket. It still felt like my father was avoiding the issue, but for now, I would have to take his word for it. Exhaustion had finally set in, and I drifted off to sleep.

  2

  Familiar Faces

  I sat tapping my newly sharpened pencil on the speckled gray desktop—waiting for the other students to arrive. Every few minutes I glanced up at the clock on the wall. Was I even in the right room? Retrieving my schedule, I searched for the room number on the paper: Dr. Steven Collins, History 224 Western Civilization, Liberal Arts Building, Room 202. I walked out into the hallway and checked the room number. Room 202 the black and gold plaque read. I flopped back down in my seat.

  A few footsteps and whispers filled the room. Two short, athletic girls walked through the door. I felt relieved, as I didn’t recognize either of them. I wasn’t ready to address the end of my relationship with Braden publicly. Both girls glared at me as they walked through the door but didn’t say a word.

  Ignoring their rudeness, I asked politely “Are you in Dr. Collin’s Western Civilization class?”

  They both looked at me and simultaneously said, “Yes, Haley, we are.”

  I might have not known them, but they certainly knew me. “Thanks, just making sure I was in the right room,” I replied, concentrating on their faces, hoping something would jog my memory and reveal their identities.

  I heard more footsteps and a few more students appeared. The class began filling. I didn’t recognize many of the faces, but I did receive a lot of second glances and hear a few whispers. I was never intentionally rude or mean to anyone, but after my mother’s death, my depression pushed me further away from my previous happier days as a cheerleader who was involved in almost every extracurricular activity available.

  My head dropped, hoping that none of them would feel the need to speak to me. I knew I wouldn’t remember any of their names, nor how I treated them.

  A tall figure with dark short hair quickly floated past my desk. The loud slam of a heavy textbook hitting the desk behind mine jolted me, indicating an unwelcomed presence. I paid no attention to the individual. There were so many empty desks spread throughout the room, why did this person decide to pick that desk?

  Hoping to busy myself, I pulled out my phone and noticed it was 6:35. Most of the students were whispering amongst themselves, hopefully not about me. I was probably just paranoid. I laid my head down on the desk to block out the chatter.

  My unwelcome neighbor was loudly clearing his throat. “Haley Helms, is that you?” he asked. I closed my eyes trying to buy some time and figure out my next move.

  Before I could turn around and acknowledge the voice, a familiar scent filled the room. Immediately, I lifted my head and turned my attention toward the door.

  My jaw dropped instantly, recognizing the man entering the room. It was Andrew. He walked over to the teacher’s desk and neatly placed his bag down beside it. Papers filled his arms, and he neatly stacked them on top of the black metal desk. I guess any further pondering about whether our paths would ever cross again was needless.

  “Hello class, I’m Dr. Alexander, but you can call me Andrew or Drew.” He cleared his throat. “Dr. Collins took on a few day classes, so I took over his evening ones. Nonetheless, welcome back to school.”

  Whispers filled the room. All the girls in class were admiring Andrew’s alluring presence. This was going to be a long semester, most likely filled with inner torment.

  Andrew began taking roll, and with the call of my name, I responded with the usual “Present,” and sighed, without flashing a look in his direction.

  “Nice to see you again, Miss Helms,” Andrew commented. My eyes shot up toward the front of the class. He was apparently aware of my presence also.

  “S-same to you,” I stuttered.

  Every girl started giggling as they stared back at me, shaking their heads. I just rolled my eyes and looked down again.

  As soon as roll call was over, Andrew handed out our syllabus for the semester. I surmised the amount of effort I would have to exert. I was surprised, only one paper due at the end of the semester and a weekly quiz—this was a piece of cake. Having an easy class gave me a slight feeling of joy. Realizing that Andrew was more than likely going to be my Thursday night instructor for my History 362 class, gave me another slight feeling of joy—and anguish.

  Andrew was reading the syllabus aloud, so my attention was directed elsewhere. Having to endure his god-like presence two nights a week would be difficult—very difficult. I stared at the paper that lay before me, realizing that I had never addressed the male presence sitting behind me.

  The words ‘fifteen minute’ break broke my concentration, and I was relieved to be able to stretch my legs. These classes were almost three hours long, since we only met once a week. Digging through my purse, I hoped to find some change for the vending machine. I quickly slipped out of the room to avoid any conversation.

  The vending machines were conveniently located right outside the classroom. There was a line forming behind me as I fumbled with my change. After retrieving my selections, I casually strolled down the hall. A loud voice broke through the silence. I looked back over my shoulder to find a tall, slender boy with light brown hair and piercing blue eyes, shaking his head.

  “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Miss Haley Helms, right here in the flesh.” His loud voice boomed.

  “Ryan Scott,” I sighed in relief.

  He wore the old style black Converse sneakers and his hair was spiked with a little too much gel. His jeans showed serious wear and his t-shirt was covered with skulls and crossbones. He sported a black hooded sweatshirt in the middle of August.

  His voice was deep, yet gentle, unlike his appearance. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

  “Sorry, I never said goodbye,” I said, embarrassed by my quick departure after graduation.

  “That’s cool, I figured you were ready to get the hell out of here,” he laughed nervously.

  “I was at the time.”

  “What brings you back?”

  “My dad. He hasn’t been the same since I left, so I decided to come back and cheer him up,” I half- smiled, knowing that was not the real reason.

  “That’s surprising…” he paused, unsure if he should continue saying anything else.

  “Why’s that?”

  “Umm—it’s just that your dad has been hanging out with Todd Cardwell’s mother a lot,” he mumbled.

  “Huh?”

  “Oh, crap, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “No, it’s fine.” My smile was weak and unconvincing. “How long?”

  “Maybe a year or so, but I�
��m not totally sure. That’s, of course, just what I’ve heard. I am, by no means, keeping tabs on your dad’s love life,” he said with an uncomfortable smile.

  “Oh, I guess he forgot to mention it.” That ugly feeling of betrayal resurfaced. I could feel my facial expression change, and I knew for sure Ryan was aware.

  “Don’t take my word for it—believe me—I could’ve been misinformed.” He lightly patted my shoulder.

  “Sorry, I have a lot on my mind. If my dad is happy, then that’s all that matters.”

  I was definitely upset. It isn’t as if I hadn’t noticed and addressed my father’s late nights out, but the truth still felt like a stab in the back. Everyone else in town was probably aware of his personal life except his own daughter. I had tried my hardest just last night to make him feel comfortable about the subject so he wouldn’t have to hide it. My face felt warm and was probably red with anger.

  “So when is the wedding?” he asked, changing the subject.

  “What wedding?” I asked in horror. Was my father engaged?

  “Yours.”

  “Oh, like I said, what wedding?” I rolled my eyes.

  “What happened?” His face gave away the joy he tried so hard to hide.

  “It’s a long a story. Braden and I won’t be tying the knot anytime soon—or ever, for that matter,” I said, trying to keep it light.

  “Good. You deserve a lot better than that as…dude.” He stumbled on his words.

  “Yes, I do.”

  No need to start dwelling on the past—especially not in front of Ryan. I once had the biggest crush on him in ninth and tenth grade.

  “I bet you felt a little uncomfortable with the teacher staring at you the whole time. I couldn’t help but notice his fascination with you for the past hour and a half,” he mentioned.

  “He was?” I was completely surprised, although I hadn’t really been paying attention.

  “You didn’t notice him gawking at you?” he asked shocked.

  “No, I guess I was off in thought. He was just going over the syllabus, so I didn’t think it was a big deal,” I shrugged.

  “Oh, well if you want an A in this class, I’m sure it will be easy for you.” His words burned, as if he somehow thought my relationship with Braden had tainted my values.

  “Well I’m not that type of girl, and you should really pay attention to what the teacher’s saying rather than where he’s looking,” I snapped.

  “I’m sorry. I take it back. I was only joking, Haley. Honestly, I was just a little concerned.”

  I couldn’t understand his concern. “About what?”

  “He’s kind of creepy,” he said warily.

  “I actually met him before I started school.” I wasn’t sure why I was defending the teacher, but it seemed logical at the time.

  His eyes were wide. “Oh, so the two of you are friends?”

  “No, we’re not friends, nor anything else. I met him on the plane ride back home, so we’re exactly what I said—nothing,” I scowled.

  “That’s good.”

  I kicked the carpet with my foot, not sure where to go with the conversation.

  “Are you working for your dad again?” he asked.

  “I haven’t yet, but I’m sure he would like that. Are you working anywhere?”

  “Yeah, I work over at the women’s shelter. I help manage the place for my mom,” he said. His mother had the same kind, charitable heart as my mother once had.

  “Your mom still works there?” I asked, not really surprised by her dedication to the community.

  “Yes, she’ll never leave,” he smiled, shaking his head.

  “She has such a big heart. I guess her kindness has rubbed off on you,” I smiled. I was impressed with Ryan’s compassion.

  “Hey, don’t think I’m doing it just out of kindness, I need the money, too.” He obviously didn’t want me to think of him as soft.

  “I know, but it’s nice that you decided to work there.”

  “It hasn’t been the same since…” he stopped. His face was red with embarrassment.

  “Nothing has been the same since her death,” I sighed.

  “I’m so sorry, Haley. I didn’t mean to mention her.” His voice dropped.

  “It’s fine. I’m glad she hasn’t been forgotten.” I faked the best smile I could. “So how are things there?”

  “Good, but I didn’t really prepare myself for all the crazy things I’ve witnessed,” he frowned.

  “Crazy like what?”

  “Women and children having to endure idiots who have no self control,” he said, gritting his teeth.

  “That always upset my mother, too, but it’s good that you can help.” I hoped my words would ease his anger.

  Ryan and I continued to walk back to class without saying another word. I felt a little uneasy as some of the girls were giving me looks—not dirty looks—but eyeing me over. As if I was their competition for some magnificent prize. They could have Ryan—I wasn’t interested. In fact, I wasn’t interested in anyone at the moment.

  As class resumed, Andrew began to address the subject of our end of the semester paper. We had no final, just the paper. I was excited about that. I hated finals around the holidays. The thought of the holidays reminded me that I would be alone, not just without Braden, but back at home in the house where my mother had once made every holiday season a joyous occasion.

  I felt a sharp pain in my left shoulder blade and swiftly turned to see what was causing it. Ryan was shoving a pencil into my shoulder blade.

  “What?” I whispered hastily.

  “He’s doing it again,” he whispered back, gesturing toward the front of the room. His tone was urgent.

  I automatically looked over at Andrew, and to my surprise he was, in fact, staring at me. He quickly realized that I was aware of his staring. Obviously, my face gave it away. I loathed my inability to hide my feelings. It was frustrating how easy it was for people to read me.

  Andrew’s attention abruptly turned from my face to the paper in his hand. I began to blush, but didn’t notice any blood rushing to his face. I was envious of his ability to hide his emotions.

  Time seemed to slow down after the incident. I kept a close watch on the classroom clock right above the blackboard. My nerves were on edge. The fact that other students noticed Andrew’s staring in my direction was upsetting.

  The girl seated beside me, continuing to hum annoying tunes, caused extra frustration. But I knew what was really bothering me, I actually enjoyed the fact that this unbelievably handsome man was paying extra attention to me, even if it was a little creepy.

  There was no use getting too excited—I had more than likely ruined my chances with him. My behavior this summer was inexcusable. Plus he was my teacher now, which threw another curve in to the mix—the same mix that consisted of still having feelings for Braden, but desperately wanting to move forward.

  He announced to the class that he was going to let us out thirty minutes early. He made mention that he would let us out early every night. This pleased me as I eventually planned to help my father out at the dealership a couple days a week.

  “Hey,” Ryan whispered.

  “Yes?”

  “What are you up to this evening?” he asked nervously.

  “I have no plans, but I’m really exhausted from my lack of sleep lately,” I said politely.

  Ryan wasn’t the type to try anything, but socializing and possibly being recognized wasn’t high on my list. I needed to lay low to avoid having Braden find out my current location.

  “No problem. If you ever want to go out, just give me a shout,” he said as he handed me a ripped piece of paper bearing a few scribbled numbers. He rose from his seat and began gathering his stuff.

  “Hey,” I said, lightly touching his arm.

  “Yes?” He quickly stopped.

  “I’m not avoiding you, just the rest of the town.”

  “Why?”

  “Braden and I didn�
��t end amicably, and he doesn’t know where I am. I need to keep it that way for awhile, until I’m a little stronger.”

  “Is he causing you trouble?” he asked concerned.

  I flashed a displeased look. “No, but he would.”

  “I can talk to him,” he smirked.

  “No way.” I shook my head.

  “Well, when you’re ready, we could just hang out at my place. No rush—the offer will always stand,” he smiled.

  “Thanks.”

  Ryan strolled out of the room. He really was a nice guy. Someone I should have considered instead of Braden, but no time to regret my decisions now.

  Andrew was still sitting at his desk. I panicked, as I quickly regretted not walking out with Ryan to avoid this situation.

  I gathered up my folder and papers, resting them on my right arm. I straightened out my t-shirt and began the walk to the front of the classroom—feeling a little uneasy. I was the last student left, and I had to walk right by his desk.

  “Miss Helms?” Andrew said in a soft, alluring tone.

  ‘Damn it,’ I thought to myself. My stomach began to feel a little queasy. “Yes, Andrew?” I asked, instinctively turning in his direction.

  “It’s truly nice to see you again,” he smiled and stood up.

  The lights flickered as he stepped closer. He immediately retreated. The flickering stopped. I had to be imagining things.

  “Yes, very surprising, but then again you had mentioned your interview here at the school,” I grinned, blushing ever so slightly.

  “You seemed to be elsewhere tonight.” He had noticed. “Everything okay?”

  “I’m sorry. I was taken aback by your presence, afraid that you would be upset with me. I promise I’ll be focused next week,” I said nervously.

  “I’m not upset with you. I was merely a stranger on the same flight.” His eyes were very accepting of my rejection.

  “And helped pick up my broken necklace,” I added, remembering back to that embarrassing moment.

  “I do remember that,” he smiled. “Don’t occupy your mind with worry. You’re my student now, and so it will purely be a teacher-student relationship.” His tone reassured any worries, but promptly crushed any hopes that I might have fabricated in my mind.