Michele Sinclair - [McTiernays 05] Read online

  “I can certainly empathize,” Meriel said softly, suggesting that she too might have spent an enjoyable evening.

  Craig’s jaw tensed. “I doubt that. You just stated that you went to sleep early.”

  Meriel leaned back, smiled coyly, and began to nibble on her bottom lip as if she was recalling something mouth-wateringly pleasant. “I said that I retired early.”

  Gritting his teeth, Craig clenched his mouth even tighter. It was the first time Meriel had ever hinted at being in another man’s company. Conversely, he had told her of his escapades with other women. Usually at night, when they were alone, and he had felt his desire for female company rise and needed her to withdraw. None of the stories had been untrue, just old; events that had taken place prior to his permanent position as the Schellden commander. But he was not sure that in the past year Meriel had been likewise unoccupied. Whispers about her pursuit of male company had not dissipated over the past year. Craig had never believed it went farther than a kiss, and he still didn’t, but the idea of her being in another man’s arms last night, directly after his, was more than unsettling.

  “Lucky fella,” Craig managed to get out. “I can now say that with confidence.”

  His iceberg tone made Meriel want to scream, and she could only blame herself. Instead of stating what was on her mind, she had taken the cowardly approach. When she had brought up his alleged method of seducing women, Craig was supposed to correct her and fess up that not only had he never brought a woman home with him, but after last night, he never would. Unless of course, the woman was her.

  She stood up and clasped her hands together, determined to talk about the one subject they had circuitously agreed never to discuss. “This is ridiculous. Neither one of us was with anyone last night. And we both know why.”

  “Aye, so neither of us has to talk about it. We can just let it be,” Craig interrupted, jumping to his feet.

  “Why?” she asked, rising to stand next to him. “We have to talk about it sometime. Our feelings—”

  “Haven’t changed,” he said emphatically, grabbing her arms. Sparks ignited between them. He stared down at her, at that tempting mouth, and every muscle in his body tensed. She could make him vulnerable in a way he never dreamed anyone could, and that was a problem. A serious one. But all problems had solutions, and he was a master at finding them. He would resolve this. He would not let their passionate kiss change anything.

  He swallowed and let her go. “Aye, the kiss was enjoyable, but it was something you and I will never share again. I know you agree with me. We are friends. Good friends, but nothing more. You are not attracted to me and I have no interest in you physically or in any way beyond what I have for . . . your sister. I know your penchant for questioning everything you cannot explain, but do we really need to discuss our relationship at length only to conclude that nothing has changed about how we feel about each other?”

  Meriel blinked in an effort to keep her eyes from widening in shock. She forced herself to nod. “No, Craig. We don’t need to talk about how we are still only friends.”

  Craig visibly relaxed and let go the breath he had been holding. He raked his fingers through his dark hair, which he kept short, as tying it back gave him headaches. “Good. Very good. I was afraid that . . . seeing you here . . . and so soon . . . well . . .”

  Meriel held up her hand, stopping him before he said something that would cause her to lose control and break into tears, destroying any bits of pride she still possessed. “I simply wanted to clarify our feelings now rather than avoid each other unnecessarily. That was not an ordinary kiss, and one of us could have construed things differently.”

  Sighing, Craig bobbed his head in agreement, faking a chuckle. “Though I doubt I have ever enjoyed a kiss more.” And once again, just thinking about it made his heart race. Swallowing, he added, “And I think it worked. Not a person there or within the range of gossip will pester us again about our friendship.”

  “Aye,” Meriel replied, suddenly anxious to escape his disturbing presence. “Even my sister has finally surrendered. And speaking of Raelynd, I need to go and see her about a few things. Talk later?”

  “Absolutely!” Craig answered, walking her to the door, almost eager to see her leave.

  Meriel leaned forward to receive the bear hug that he always gave her when they separated. Craig hesitated. He could not refuse, but if he held her even slightly close to him, she would know without a doubt that his claim to have no physical interest in her was a falsehood. Out of necessity, he gave her shoulders a squeeze and prayed she would not pursue the change in his behavior.

  The moment she was gone, he closed the door and leaned his forehead against it, closing his eyes. His composure had been a fragile shell on the verge of breaking. So he wanted her. What sane man wouldn’t? But desires could be quashed through various means, and love, like any emotion, could be controlled. Unlike his older brothers, sentiments for a woman were not going to dictate his life, let alone his future. Not even for the possibility of experiencing passion unlike anything he had ever, or would ever, know.

  His feelings for Meriel would remain what they had always been—brotherly.

  Meriel’s heart was pounding in her chest as she left the cottage. Pride had dictated that she agree to Craig’s emphatic decree that nothing had changed between them, but she knew her best friend better than anyone. She knew his looks, his mannerisms, and his reactions to uncomfortable situations. The man had very few fears. Being a disappointment was one, and emotional vulnerability was the other.

  Last year, he had finally admitted to himself and to his brother that he held no desire to be a clan chieftain. Commanding soldiers, leading men into battle, these were responsibilities he could confidently and expertly execute. Craig enjoyed entertaining a crowd, but the idea of a person—man or woman—seeking him out for emotional support frightened him. And until he met Meriel, that was a secret he had been able to hide from everyone, including his twin brother. Similarly, he was one of the few who could discern her true hopes and fears.

  From almost the beginning of their relationship their friendship had been an anomaly. She had never bared her thoughts and feelings with anyone as she did with Craig—not even with her sister. As a result, she had protected their friendship every bit as vigorously as Craig. But after last night, Meriel no longer felt like she was shielding a cherished relationship; now she was acting out in fear of the future.

  It took her hours of pondering, examining their relationship in multiple ways, but the conclusion was always the same—she loved him and he loved her. Rather than the sudden impact of two hearts recognizing each other, resulting in torrents of passion, their love had grown with time. She trusted him with anything and everything about herself, and remembered him once confiding about the incredible peace he felt, knowing that she would never think less of him for unburdening his true thoughts to her. They were friends, and maybe they should remain just friends. But how were they to know, if Craig refused to talk not only about their kiss, but the passion that had been between them. And last night proved beyond any doubt that between them there was not merely passion, but desire and an intense need that continued to burn inside her.

  Meriel made her way through the village, becoming angrier with every step. Friends! Friends were honest. And she and Craig had been far from honest with each other. What they felt for each other went way beyond friendship, and this morning only confirmed he was fighting the same conclusion.

  Unlike Craig, she believed preserving their friendship required them both to be candid about their feelings and decide together whether to act on them or not. And though a small, frightened piece of her wanted to capitulate to Craig’s dictates and keep their friendship just as it was, something far more powerful had taken over her heart and she was not sure she could keep things the same. Unfortunately, knowing him as well as she did, Meriel knew only one person could change his mind: Craig. No amount of persuasion, logic, or even passi
onate assaults would work. He had to decide that what was between them was not just friendship, but something much more.

  And in this case, that was highly unlikely. That left her with two options. Wait until Craig admitted his true feelings for her, or end her emotional connection with him. The first was unlikely and out of her control; the second, however, was absolutely within her power to make happen. How hard could it be? This whole revelation had come only a few hours ago. In a few days, the memory of their kiss would be forgotten and then their friendship could continue as before.

  Now . . . just how did one go about forgetting a man?

  Conor smiled inwardly as he watched his wife pack in preparation to leave. On the bed were the various items that Laurel insisted she bring back to McTiernay Castle—too many to keep to their agreement of only two bags. There was no possible way she was going to be able to keep that promise now.

  Beside the clothes and items she had brought were a couple of tapestries and a new gown Meriel had made for her. Items Conor specifically encouraged Laurel to accept, knowing what it would mean. All week he had been looking forward to this moment with eager anticipation. It was not often his wife made an error in judgment—especially when it could cost her as much as this one was going to.

  “Want me to pack those in my bags? I have room,” he offered congenially, obviously enjoying the idea that she might have to agree.

  Laurel shook her head and cringed playfully at the idea. “And have my things reek with the foul odor of your filthy clothes? I think not.”

  Conor shrugged, ignoring the lighthearted insult, and leaned against the stone wall near the bed. “Just remember, the limit of two bags was for the whole trip.”

  Laurel flashed him a smile and carefully began to fold the first tapestry. “I know.”

  Conor inhaled deeply and studied the relaxed manner of his wife. After nearly ten years of being together, he still could not tell if she was expertly hiding her anxiety, truly believed that she could accomplish the impossible, or if she already had a plan to circumvent the particulars of their agreement.

  He tried to hide a grin at the idea of her persuading him with kisses and lovemaking to release her from her pledge. While he would enjoy letting her try, it would not work. Today she would not escape her fate. For a whole week, she would be unable to argue, confront, disagree, or contradict him. A conciliatory Laurel on all topics. Just the thought sent a shiver through him.

  “Conor, would you go and make sure everything is ready for us to leave?”

  “No need. Spoke with Crevan earlier and he said that he would have the horses prepared and ready by the time you finished packing.”

  “Does that include Merry?” Laurel inquired. Her voice was without even a hint that there was anything unusual about the request.

  “Did you say Merry?” Conor repeated, hoping he had misunderstood his wife but knowing he had not.

  “Aye. It is the least spirited of Laird Schellden’s horses.”

  Conor’s brows furrowed. “I’m fully aware of which horse Merry is, as well as just who rides her.”

  “Oh good,” Laurel said absentmindedly as she unfurled the second tapestry and tried folding it again into a tighter and smaller bundle.

  “Are you attempting to tell me in a less than appealing way that Meriel is coming with us?” Conor half bellowed, trying to keep his voice down.

  “Whether or not the idea appeals to you, she is coming with us,” answered Laurel, this time looking him directly in the eye.

  Conor blinked. Laurel was completely serious. This was not some ploy to get out of their arrangement. He only wished it was.

  Conor went to the window and looked below at the courtyard. Three long curtain walls formed a large triangle, making Caireoch Castle one of the more unusual fortified homes in Scotland. And while it was a fortress with strong defense capabilities, the shape made it impossible for anything besides castle activities to be conducted within the walls. As a result, castle life had taken over the inner bailey, making it crowded, loud, and confining. And though he had enjoyed this short visit to his close ally and friend, he also could not wait to leave it all behind and return to his children and his life—which did not include Meriel Schellden.

  He remembered the havoc she and her sister caused last year when they came to visit. Granted, it was the first time they had ever been allowed to leave the protection of Caireoch and their overindulgent father, but their short stay had been painful. And most of the pain Conor remembered enduring had been a direct result of Meriel’s and his wife’s brilliant idea that Meriel should learn about castle duties by assuming them. He was not going to go through that again. Mo creach! McTiernay Castle would likely be vacated within hours! Fiona, their cook, would rebel vociferously by refusing to allow any of the staff to prepare meals, and their steward, Fallon . . . his reaction was unpredictable, with the exception that it would be far from good. Did Laurel not realize that?

  Conor turned around to argue when his mouth fell open. He pointed to the bags she was using to pack her things. “Those are not the bags you used coming up here.”

  Laurel shrugged and gave him a quizzical look before continuing to arrange things in the much larger carriers. “Well, of course not. I could never have packed all of this in the two I brought, so I asked Meriel for some larger ones and she obliged. Our agreement was the number of bags, love, not the bags themselves.”

  He watched as she shoved the last tapestry into the second leather bag and cinched it closed. The two large stuffed bags on the bed meant that he had lost their bet and not she. He should have known that just as he had been plotting a way for her to lose . . . Laurel had been doing the same.

  A thought struck him. If Laurel wanted him to be agreeable, then that was exactly what she was going to get. “I think it is a great idea that Meriel come with us.”

  Laurel came to an abrupt stop. With one hand still in the second bag, she looked up. “You do?”

  “Aye. After what you and Raelynd did last night, Craig could use some distance from her.”

  “You think Craig could use some distance from Meriel.”

  “Aye. I think he needs some time to think about what happened and determine if it meant anything.”

  “Meant anything? Of course it meant something!”

  Conor came around and pulled Laurel’s back against his chest to give her a big hug. “I know you think they love each other.”

  Laurel tried unsuccessfully to shrug him off. “They do love each other. Craig just refuses to admit his feelings.”

  Conor let out a long, audible breath. “Then, Laurel, my love, distance is not going to change his mind.”

  Laurel spun around in his arms to face him. Her brows wrinkled upon seeing that he was earnest. “How can you not want your brother to be happy?”

  Conor reached around her and snatched the heavier of the two bags. “He is happy. They both were until last night when you and Raelynd meddled in their lives.”

  “I was not meddling.”

  “Then what do you call it?”

  “What I did was called . . . assisting. At least I thought I was,” Laurel said, the last words barely audible. Then suddenly her demeanor changed. “Is Hamish returning with us?”

  “Why?” Conor asked skeptically, his left arm still encircling her. “I think he was considering staying a couple more days to help Craig.”

  “Then my question is, can he?”

  Conor laughed at her eager expression. If he recognized the obvious ploy, then so would Craig. “You think you can make my brother jealous? Laurel, if anything, Craig will suspect he’s being manipulated and become even more determined not to admit his feelings for Meriel—if he has them.”

  Laurel bit her bottom lip to hide her smile, but nothing could disguise the mischievous sparkle in her blue-green eyes. “Inspire jealousy? On the contrary, love. I was just thinking about you,” she said, craning her head back so that her pale blond hair hung in loose waves do
wn to the small of her back. Putting her hands on his biceps, she added, “If you can convince Hamish to leave with us as well, then you will not have to help Meriel along the journey. If I recall, she is not quite as skilled with riding horses as we are.”

  Conor’s eyes widened. “Skilled? Ha! She can barely stay on top of one.”

  “So you will ask Hamish to come?”

  The question seemed innocent, as well as her reasoning. But they both knew otherwise. Whatever the motivation behind her request, one thing was for certain—Laurel was in the midst of one of her plans. Conor sought only to escape its tentacles.

  He narrowed his eyes. He released the bag and crossed his arms. “I do not know what is going on in that mind of yours, but just so you and I are clear, I will not be helping Meriel during this trip, nor will she be helping you with your duties after we arrive.”

  Laurel smiled at him. “It won’t be like last time. I promise Meriel will be a guest and a guest only.”

  “And exactly what will she do to occupy her time then?”

  Laurel went onto her tiptoes and kissed him on his stubbled chin. “Oh, I’ve got some ideas.”

  “If your ideas include Hamish, you might want to rethink them. I heard him talking last night. He is interested in someone else and he says it is serious this time.”

  Laurel’s smile turned sour. “I am fully aware of Hamish and Wyenda, and I would not dream of interfering with a true love match. If it is meant to be, then it will be.”

  Doubt crossed his face. If anything proved Laurel was not behind a match between Hamish and Wyenda, her last statement did. He knew his wife did not trust the beauty, and secretly he agreed with her. If Wyenda was showing an interest in Hamish and history was any indicator, she was doing so only until someone better came along. Still, Laurel’s statement definitely held hidden meaning. “Then just what are you planning?”

  Laurel leaned into him, letting her soft curves mold to the contours of his muscular body. “Nothing more than for Hamish to come along and aid Meriel. I’ll admit to hoping they become friends, but truly nothing more. Maybe they will be able to help each other in ways you and I could not.”