Secrets So Deep eBook Read online

  Charlotte vaguely remembered that story. Now the secrecy made perfect sense. This was just the sort of personal drama the media loved. “Where is he?”

  She followed the hallway around the corner to a closed exam room where she knocked softly before entering. A woman—in her early forties, she guessed—looked up, her red-rimmed eyes showing both sadness and fear. In her smart brown suit and heels, she appeared to have come straight from the Capitol.

  “Hello, I’m Dr. Blue. Is this Sebastian?”

  The woman nodded and stood up from her perch on the side of the bed, not letting go of the young man’s hand. “Yes, it is. I’m his mother, Glynn Wright.”

  Charlotte extended her hand. “How do you do?” She could see that the boy, clad in a hospital gown, and with a bandage around his throat, had been crying too. “How are you feeling, Sebastian?”

  “Okay,” he rasped. “Can I go home?”

  “We should talk a bit first before deciding anything, okay?” She looked at the congresswoman, whose face was lined with worry. “Could Sebastian and I have a few minutes alone?”

  “Of course.” She squeezed the boy’s hand and kissed him gently on the forehead. “I’ll be right outside if you need me, honey.”

  Charlotte walked her to the door. “There’s a small conference room around the corner on the right. I left my coat in there. I’ll come find you in a few minutes.”

  “Okay.” It was obvious she hated to leave, but was anxious to have her son treated.

  The boy eyed Charlotte warily as she returned to stand by his bedside. “You’re a shrink, aren’t you?”

  “That’s right.”

  “That means people think I’m crazy.”

  She chuckled lightly. “You know, sometimes I feel like the hardest part of my job is convincing people it’s okay to need my help once in a while. That’s all I’m here for, Sebastian.”

  “So does that mean I’m crazy or not?” he asked defiantly, his voice still a rough whisper from the damage to his throat.

  “That’s not a word I like to use about people . . . even crazy people,” she added with a wink he didn’t seem to notice. She studied his youthful face. He had light brown hair like his mother’s and her blue eyes as well. “Can you talk about what happened this afternoon?”

  “I did something stupid.”

  “What were you thinking about when you did that?”

  He didn’t answer.

  “Your mother’s really upset. Did you know she would be?”

  Tears pooled in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt Mom. I don’t want anything to happen to her.”

  “Are you afraid of something happening to your mom?” It wasn’t unusual for children who had lost one parent to develop irrational fears about losing the other one.

  He looked away.

  “Sebastian?”

  “It’s hard to talk about.”

  “I know.” Getting new patients to open up was a slow process. The most important thing after an incident like this one was getting the patient stabilized and out of immediate danger. “I tell you what. I’ll keep the questions easy for now, okay? Did something happen today that made you want to hurt yourself?”

  He shook his head.

  “Have you been thinking about this for a while?”

  His lack of response probably meant yes.

  “Dr. Pierce said you tried to hang yourself in the bathroom at your school, but the pipe broke and you fell. Is that the way you remember it?”

  He nodded.

  “Are you glad the pipe broke, Sebastian?”

  The tears that had been building broke free and ran down his face, and he rolled away from her without answering. Whatever turmoil had triggered his suicide attempt was deep and pervasive, causing a pain he couldn’t bear to confront.

  “I can see how much it all hurts, son. But we can make it better if you’ll let us help.” She gently stroked his shoulder. If his mother agreed, she would get him admitted and moved up to a room on the second floor.

  She pressed the buzzer by the door, prompting a nurse to appear.

  “Would you sit with this young man while I go over some things with his mother?”

  “Of course, Doctor.”

  Charlotte returned to the conference room to find Glynn Wright slouched forward in a chair, her head in her hands. She looked up when Charlotte cleared her throat. “How is he?” “He’s under a lot of stress right now. I’m sure he’s embarrassed about all the attention, and he seems very concerned about how worried you are.”

  “Of course I’m worried. He could have died.” She choked back a sob and started for the door. “He shouldn’t be by himself.” “He’s all right. I left a nurse with him.” She steered the congresswoman back to her chair. “I’d like your permission to admit your son for observation and evaluation. I can give him a mild sedative to help him rest tonight.”

  “Is he out of danger?”

  “I believe so, but I want to do a full assessment on him when he’s ready to talk.”

  She turned away and wiped her tears. “He won’t talk to me. I hate it when he shuts me out.”

  “Does he do that a lot?”

  She shook her head.

  “Then he’ll probably open up soon. Right now, he’s overwhelmed with everything, trying to sort it all out in his head.” She pulled a chair over and sat facing the congresswoman. “He seems to be very worried about something happening to you.” The mother gasped and covered her mouth with her fist, as though realizing something terrible. “I should have known.” “How could you possibly know your son would try to hang himself?”

  “He’s afraid for me, and he’d rather die than go through this again.”

  “Because of what happened to his father?”

  She turned back and met Charlotte’s eye. “He told you about that?”

  “No, Dr. Pierce told me. And I recall a little bit from the papers. Your son must have been very young at the time.”

  “Sebby was the one who found him. That isn’t something even a kid forgets.”

  “That’s true. And even if he forgot the details, he would probably remember the emotions surrounding the event.”

  “He just has a hard time dealing with things . . . tough things.”

  “Everyone has that.”

  “But he tried to do this before, about four years ago. He said it was an accident, but no one really believed him.”

  “He tried to hurt himself?”

  She nodded. “He had trouble adjusting when I got involved with someone. He drank a whole bottle of cold medicine and took a bunch of aspirin. They found him passed out in the locker room at his school. He had to have his stomach pumped.”

  “It’s not unusual for kids to have problems when their parents start dating. They can be jealous, or threatened by the change. Or they act out just to prove they can still command your attention. Are you involved with someone else again? Is that why you think he’s acting out?”

  “No, this time it’s something else.” She touched her jacket, just above her left breast, and winced. “I had a routine mammogram a couple of weeks ago and they found a calcification. It was just a small one, and they did a lumpectomy, but he’s been frantic about it ever since.”

  “Anyone would be frantic about that. Did they make a determination?”

  “Stage one, but contained. We’re proceeding with radiation just to be safe. I started on Monday.”

  The revelation stirred a well of compassion in Charlotte. Glynn Wright had more than her share of challenges to deal with. “I’m sure you’re doing the right thing. And I know success rates are very high for stage one. You were lucky to have caught it so soon.”

  “That’s what my doctor said. But I should have realized Sebby would be worried.”

  “This isn’t your fault. We just have to get your son past his fears.” Charlotte needed more information directly from Sebastian, but it certainly sounded as if he suffered extreme anxiety at the notion of being sep
arated from his mother. “Has he been under another doctor’s care?”

  “No. I got him to see a therapist for a while after the other incident just to make sure there was nothing wrong, but Sebby wouldn’t talk to him very much. Then things calmed down when the relationship ended and he got better.”

  “We need to get all this out on the table, and I’ll probably need your help to get Sebby to open up.”

  “I’ll do anything. My son is the only thing that matters to me.”

  “I believe that.” Charlotte patted her on the shoulder. “Let me get the paperwork started and we can get him moved upstairs to a private room. Will you be around to sign a release?”

  “Of course. Can I stay with him tonight?”

  “I’m sure they’ll let you, but after the sedative, he’ll sleep until morning. Maybe you should go home and do the same. You shouldn’t let yourself get worn down, especially with your treatments.”

  She shook her head. “I know, but I need to be with him.”

  Charlotte understood the sense of panic. Glynn Wright needed to be here for herself. She had nearly lost her son and now she didn’t want him out of her sight. “If you think that’s best, it’s fine.”

  “Thank you. Thank you for everything.”

  Chapter 2

  Charlotte stirred beneath the sheets, waking suddenly at the recognition she was alone in Julie’s bed—as usual. The clock beside her read 2:20 a.m. and the television played faintly in the next room.

  This was only the fourth time they had made love, and it was becoming apparent that sharing a bed wasn’t something Julie found easy to do. She had said she was a night owl, but that didn’t explain her penchant for falling asleep on the couch once she rose from bed after making love.

  Charlotte turned on the bedside lamp and searched the unfamiliar room for her things. She figured she might as well get dressed and go home so both of them could get a good night’s sleep.

  Sure enough, Julie was tucked under an afghan on the couch, sound asleep. Charlotte shook her gently. “Hey, you should go back to bed. I’m going to head on home.”

  “Charlotte?” Julie fought to open her eyes. “You don’t have to go.”

  She shook her head. “No, this doesn’t work for either of us.”

  Julie frowned and sighed. “I’m sorry. I just . . .”

  “It’s okay. It’s not a big deal.”

  “I hate that you’re going out in the middle of the night.”

  “It’s all right. I have an early day at the hospital. This’ll be better.”

  Julie sat up from the couch and stretched. “Have you diagnosed me yet, Dr. Blue?”

  “I don’t do that sort of thing to my friends.”

  “But I bet you think I’m weird as shit.”

  “No, I don’t. You just aren’t used to sleeping with someone.”

  Julie leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. “Be patient with me, okay? I might just be worth it.”

  Charlotte smiled. If the companionship they usually enjoyed was any indication, they seemed to be headed toward something significant. Working out these small issues was a necessary step. “Go back to bed. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  She let herself out and walked briskly to her car. True to Joyce’s prediction, it had started snowing after dark, accumulating up to four inches already. It was tempting to go back and knock on Julie’s door, but the lure of her own bed was too strong.

  Her manual-shift Saab handled well on the slushy roads, so the trip home across the Key Bridge wasn’t as treacherous as she feared. That wouldn’t be true come morning, she thought, pulling into the garage of her town house in Glover Park. Getting to the hospital tomorrow would be an adventure if this kept up.

  Thoughts of the hospital brought Glynn Wright to mind. Charlotte wondered if she was able to sleep in the chair beside her son’s bed. She couldn’t help but worry about her given the radiation treatments. Most people struggled when faced with only one enormous challenge. Glynn had two, and so did Sebby.

  • • • Glynn shifted onto her hip, her back stiff and sore. Even with the pillow and blanket a kindly nurse had delivered to her in the night, a chair was still a chair. It didn’t help that she had skipped dinner and was now almost too tired to move.

  As Dr. Blue had promised, Sebastian had slept peacefully all night, not even waking long enough to know she was there. But at least she had peace of mind that his had been a restful night.

  She had awakened two hours earlier to overhear several of the nurses complaining they wouldn’t be able to drive home in the snow at their shift’s end. From Sebastian’s window, she could see it drifting against the building and the cars at the curb, one of which was hers. For that, she was glad to have stayed the night, because she would never have gotten back here this morning.

  Glynn was looking forward to seeing Dr. Blue again so they could get Sebby’s evaluation and treatment underway. Charlotte, as one of the nurses had called her, had an air of authority about her, one that gave Glynn confidence she could get through to Sebby and help him put this horrible fear behind him. She had decided in the night that she needed to come clean with the doctor about everything that might be affecting his state of mind, including personal information hardly anyone knew. Everything was up for sacrifice—her privacy, and even her constituency—if it meant a cure for her son.

  “Good morning,” a young nurse whispered as she tiptoed into the room. “Were you able to sleep?”

  “A little. The blanket and pillow helped. Thank you.”

  “Thank Dr. Blue. She called about three o’clock and asked us to check on you and make sure you were comfortable.”

  “Dr. Blue was calling in at three a.m.?”

  The nurse shrugged. “They all keep strange hours. I think that’s left over from those forty-eight-hour shifts they pulled in medical school.”

  That explanation might fly for an emergency room physician, but Glynn couldn’t imagine a psychiatrist pulling an all-nighter. “What time does she usually see patients?”

  “Rounds usually start at six thirty during the week, but weekends vary. It’s hard to say for sure if she’ll even be here today. Sometimes she just calls in her orders.”

  Glynn hoped that wasn’t the case. She had gotten the distinct impression that Dr. Blue would see Sebby today. But no matter what the schedule was, she needed a plan for getting home for a shower. Tina would probably come for her if she called, but she hated to ask anyone to drive in weather like this.

  The nurse opened the curtains to let in the gray light of dawn. “I’m going to get him up in about fifteen minutes and get his vitals. This might be a good time for you to go down to the cafeteria and grab some breakfast.”

  “I think I should be here when he wakes up.”

  “He’ll be fine. I’ll tell him where you are and that you’ll be back soon.”

  This was possibly the only window she would get for several hours, so Glynn decided to take it. She smoothed her rumpled suit, then rummaged in her purse for a hairbrush and pushed it through her short graying hair.

  “You look fine. No one’s awake down there anyway. They’re just going through the motions.”

  She smiled her appreciation. “I won’t be long.”

  Glynn took the elevator to the first floor and followed the signs to the cafeteria. As the nurse had suggested, the crowd milling about the breakfast island and refrigerated display cases was subdued, as if not quite awake. The line at the coffee machine confirmed this.

  “Stay away from the melon. It’s out of season,” a voice from behind her said.

  She spun and found herself face to face with Charlotte Blue, who looked surprisingly chipper for someone making telephone rounds at three a.m. “Good morning.”

  “Were you able to sleep last night?”

  “Yes . . . no, not really. But thank you for sending in the pillow and blanket. That helped.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. Did Sebastian have a good night?
” “He slept like a baby, just as you said he would.”

  “I could have given you something too, but that probably wouldn’t have been a good idea with you under another doctor’s care right now.”

  Glynn appreciated that she spoke softly, careful not to let anyone overhear. The fewer people who knew about her breast cancer right now, the better. “Will you do your assessment today?”

  She nodded, grabbing a low-fat yogurt to go along with the banana on her tray. “I thought we’d give it a try, if he’s willing to talk.”

  “If I know my son, he’ll talk your ear off if he thinks it will get him out of here sooner.”

  Charlotte laughed. “He’s thinking rationally then. That’s a good sign.” She went through the line and paid, waiting on the other side while Glynn did the same. “Would you like to sit for a few minutes, or were you headed back upstairs?”

  “Sitting somewhere different would be good. Who knew that chair would be so exhausting?”

  “That may be your treatments, you know. You really should try to get home today and sleep.”

  “I don’t want to leave Sebby.”

  They sat alone at the end of a long table.

  “Look, Mrs. Wright—”

  “Please call me Glynn.”

  “Glynn . . . a full assessment will probably take about four hours. If we get started around eight, I’ll have him back in his room for lunch. He’ll be tired and bored and ready to nap. Why don’t you go home for a while?”

  “I can’t. My car’s snowed in at the curb.”

  “Call a taxi then. You really need to be watching out for yourself, or Sebastian’s just going to worry even more.”

  She had a point there. “What time would I need to come back?”

  “Why don’t you plan on five o’clock? You can bring him a burger for dinner and go back home for the night.”

  “You don’t think there’s a chance of him coming home with me?”

  Charlotte stopped eating and looked at her seriously. “Your son tried to kill himself yesterday. I don’t want to release him from a suicide watch until we’re absolutely certain the danger has passed. It’s too soon to know that.”