Rook's Control Read online

  Although she couldn’t see his face because he was looking at the ground, she knew it was Rook. Everything inside of her said to open the door, but that little voice she’d listened to, the one that had told her she was better than this bullshit, had her clenching her hands into fists and taking a step back.

  “Bobbie, I know you’re in there, baby.”

  The sound of Rook calling her the endearment, of his slurred words, had anger rising inside of her.

  “I heard the TV shut off right before I knocked. Let me in.” His voice was so deep that a shiver of arousal and remembrance of the times they’d shared in his bed, played through her. But no, she wasn’t doing this, wasn’t going to be his pussy on the side anymore. He’d pushed her away; she’d seen him with a club whore, and she was done with all of this.

  She turned, not about to let him in, but he kept pounding on the door.

  “Come on, Bobbie. Don’t shut me out.”

  Her anger manifested into something ugly, something that she’d never felt inside of herself.

  “Talk to me. Let’s kiss and make this all better.”

  Face feeling hot, emotions a whirlwind, she spun around and opened the door, glaring up at Rook. He had an arm braced on the doorframe, and the smell of liquor came from him.

  “Go home, Rook,” was all she said, although she wanted to say more. She tried to shut the door, but he placed a booted foot in the way, stopping her from shutting him out like he’d done so many times to her before.

  “I want to talk.”

  “I don’t, Rook” she said through clenched teeth. “Get your fucking foot out of the way. You’re drunk, and I have nothing to say to you.” Oh, she had a lot to say, a lot of things she’d wanted to admit to him, but the fact he’d shown up here in the middle of the night, all these days after the fact, obviously drunk and probably only wanting some ass, had that sadness replaced with her anger.

  “I know you’re mad, but you and I got a good thing, baby.”

  She clenched her teeth hard enough her jaw ached. “There isn’t anything between us, Rook. You made sure of that.” She looked him right in the eye. “You’ve made your point many times over, but I was the dumbass that still stuck around.” She shook her head, not about to cry in front of him.

  “You’re upset—”

  “Nice fucking observation, Rook.” Bobbie exhaled, so tired all of a sudden. It was hard seeing him standing there, hard wanting him, loving him, and knowing this man didn’t want a future with her. “Please, just leave me alone.”

  He leaned in an inch and smirked. “I bet if I had my big dick in you you’d feel a hell of a lot better.”

  Anger encompassed her like an entity, and before she knew what she was doing she brought her palm up and slapped him across the cheek. “You fucking asshole.” She was so stunned by what she’d done that she felt her eyes water. He looked down at her with a mixture of drunkenness and surprise.

  Bobbie didn’t think, just used this moment to push his boot away and shut the door. Before she let herself feel sorry for the situation, and before she broke down crying, she grabbed her cell and called Jana and Tuck. Bobbie could still hear Rook mumbling on the other side of the door, and the fact he’d only come here after he was lit and wanting pussy had her chest hurting.

  After asking Tuck to come over and get Rook, she set the cell on the table and sat on the couch, staring at the door. Tuck and Jana didn’t live that far away, so she knew the other biker would be here soon. Bobbie shouldn’t care about what Rook did with his life anymore, not if she was going to move on, but she didn’t want him driving back to the club the way he was. She did love him, did care what happened to him.

  “Bobbie, come on. Let’s work this out. Let’s fuck and make this all better.”

  “Fuck you, Rook,” but she’d said it too softly for him to hear. What upset her more than anything else right now was that Rook hadn’t even apologized for how he spoke to her, how he’d just cast her aside. She might have spilled the beans concerning Fallina and Pierce, but the truth was eventually that information would have come to the surface anyway. The fact Rook had been so coarse and cold toward her was like a hot knife right to her heart.

  Was wanting him to at least say sorry for being so cold to her too much to ask? The world hadn’t ended because of her words, and what they shared had been more than just sex, at least for her.

  Rook started banging on her door again.

  “I can see why you’re all about that pain, Bobbie. You got me good with that slap, and now my dick’s hard for you.”

  She clenched her eyes shut, willing herself not to cry. He started pounding on her door again.

  “Rook, stop. Someone’s going to call the cops. Just go home,” she said louder now.

  He started chuckling. “Fuck that. I don’t care if they come.” He pounded on her door again. “If you just let me in no one would have to call anyone.”

  You knew what you were getting into when you fell for him. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

  She wiped the stray tear away that was tracking down her cheek.

  Before too long she heard Tuck’s deep voice speaking on the other side of the door. She couldn’t make out what Tuck was saying, but Rook’s response was clear.

  “Fuck off, Tuck. This is my problem, and I don’t need you here trying to make shit right.” Rook sounded a hell of a lot more sober now.

  “Rook, you need to get home and sleep this off.” Tuck sounded louder now. “You think this looks good?”

  “I don’t give a fuck how it looks.”

  “Rook, man, you’re drunk, making a scene, and whatever in the hell is going on between you and Bobbie, this isn’t the way to fix shit.”

  There was a long moment of silence where Bobbie held her breath. There was one more pound to her door, and then she heard Tuck talking to Rook again. But the biker’s voice was growing distant as they walked away.

  Bobbie looked down at her hand, the sting of when she’d slapped Rook still there, her palm red. She curled her nails inward and started crying, hating everything, and wishing that she was strong enough to just pack her shit and move out of this fucking town.

  Chapter Six

  How the fuck did I get home?

  That was the first thing Rook thought about as he lay in his bed and stared at the ceiling. But the longer he lay there the more the events from last night played through his head. He hadn’t been so drunk when he’d left the club, but it was like that alcohol kicked his ass once he was at Bobbie’s. He sat on the edge of the bed, pushing back the shitty feeling of being hung-over, and that he’d proved his point that he was one fucked up asshole.

  “Shit,” he said under his breath. Pushing himself up and standing, he stared out the bedroom window, and saw his Harley parked in the driveway. Tuck must have dropped it off early this morning. Scrubbing his hand over his face, he breathed out, remembering what had gone down last week. He knew he’d been an asshole, not apologizing for what he’d said to her, and instead wanting to fuck, being a crude motherfucker.

  He’d never told anyone about how he felt for Bobbie, or the fact he’d kept it hidden, even from himself. But last night sure as fuck would have Tuck thinking things were going down in that area of Rook’s life.

  Bobbie wasn’t just a club whore to him. She was his. Hell, he’d never seen her as just pussy, even if he’d tried hard to keep his emotions hidden and buried deep.

  He grabbed his phone off the dresser, saw his wallet, chain, and all his other shit were piled on the scarred wood, and felt like this pansy ass motherfucker that Tuck had to all but put him to bed last night.

  Looking down at his cell, he saw a text from Tuck that was sent hours ago.

  Tuck: Had Jana drive me to get your bike. Not sure what in the hell that was all about last night, and I don’t really care. But it’s clear Bobbie didn’t want your drunken ass there. If you want to talk, hit me up.

  Rook tossed his phone back on the dresser and
scrubbed a hand over his hair. Yeah, it was clear Bobbie didn’t want him there. He turned and went into the bathroom, switched the light on, and looked at his reflection. The side of his face wasn’t red, but he remembered the slap she’d given him. Rook deserved it, though. He braced his hands on the sink and closed his eyes, breathing out.

  “Way to win her over, fucker,” he said to himself, shaking his head. He’d meant to try to work things out with her, but instead he’d gotten lewd, talked about patching things up by fucking her.

  “You dumb motherfucker.”

  He lifted his head and stared at himself again, his anger at himself rising the longer he stared at his reflection. Clenching his teeth, curling his hands into his palms, he felt this beast of rage fill him. He’d wanted to tell her he wasn’t this piece of shit, but he’d proved he was. He curled his hand into a fist, and rearing his hand back he slammed it into the mirror, shattering the glass.

  “Fuck,” he shouted and moved back when glass fell in shards and chunks into the sink and on the ground. He looked down at his knuckles, pulled a few pieces of glass out, and followed the trails of blood sliding down his hand to his wrist. The best bet would for him to just back the fuck off.

  Good luck with that, motherfucker. You want her too much, desire her like you’ve never wanted another woman before, and she’s all you think about. You fucking love her, but she’s too good for you.

  “Shit,” he said and grabbed a towel to wrap around his hand. If he kept on with this, when Bobbie probably hated him, he’d really end up fucking things up.

  Even more than you already have.

  ****

  Time seemed to blur in one constant motion. This heaviness was settled into Bobbie, and she hated it, hated that one man could make her feel like this, make her feel this loneliness. After Rook had gone, thanks to Tuck, she’d finally let herself cry, bawl like a little fucking baby because she was so pissed, but mostly hurt. If he just would have said sorry, hell, said anything aside from the “let’s fuck and make this better” bullshit he’d spouted off, things might be different.

  She wanted to scream she was so angry, but she clenched her teeth, and told herself things were better this way. It was better to know how he felt about her, because now she could move on.

  You can try.

  She heard her cell go off and reached over to grab it. She figured it would be Jana, but her heart stopped when she saw it was Rook.

  Rook: I’m an asshole, and you deserve so much better. But I’m sorry, Bobbie.

  For a second she just sat there, staring at the phone, not sure if she should respond or not. In the end she set the phone back on the table, and thought about how things had just changed, but she didn’t know if that was for the better.

  Chapter Seven

  Rook could feel Tuck’s gaze on him even though he wasn’t looking at the Patch. The club was working on the back property, building another guest house that would hold four extra rooms, a small kitchen, two bathrooms, and another storage area. Their club was growing, and they were getting their hands dirty, getting covered in sweat, and working as a family to make sure the club grew the right way.

  After he got piss-ass drunk and had that “heart-to-heart” with Tank, Rook had cut off the alcohol, worked out for the last two days straight to sweat out the remaining booze from his body, and focused on what was important … which was thinking of a way to talk to Bobbie and not fuck it up again.

  He’d sent her a short text apologizing just a few days ago after he’d made an ass out of himself, but that wasn’t sufficient, and she hadn’t responded. Rook didn’t blame her though. He wanted to talk to her in person, sober, clean, and not ruin the only good thing that he’d had in his life in a long time.

  Rook knew he couldn’t let this shit go on anymore, not when Bobbie had been on his mind constantly since he realized he cared about her. No, not cared about her, because that seemed too tame. He fucking loved her, and he knew he couldn’t walk away, not even if that was what was right for both of them because he wasn’t good enough for her. He’d lay it all out for her, let her know that he wanted her as his old lady, that he wanted to be there for her, not only as her partner and old man, but also as her Dom in the bedroom.

  She was everything he could have ever asked for in a woman, everything he had envisioned for himself if he wasn’t a bastard. He was bad for her, dangerous and had violent tendencies to those that crossed him, and that’s why he’d wanted to stay back. He didn’t want her to get caught up in his life, in the paths that he took because he preferred the harder roads to take. But she was already engrained in his life, in his world, and he was tired of trying to go against that.

  He finished bringing over a stack of wood that would make up part of the foundation, and breathed out, feeling Tuck’s stare trained right on him.

  “What the fuck, man?” Rook said and faced the other biker. Tuck was leaning against the side of the garage, a bottle of water in his hand, and his focus on Rook. “You want to take a picture of me so you can jerk off later?”

  Tuck didn’t verbally respond, but he did flip Rook off.

  “You’ve been staring at me all day like you want to fuck or something.” Rook was joking, but he knew Tuck must have something on his mind. Rook grabbed one of the clean rags on the table and walked over to the other man. The club was busy with the construction, and the sweet-butts and old ladies were bringing out food and setting them on the picnic tables.

  They stayed silent for a moment, but then Tuck tossed the empty water bottle into the trashcan and turned to lean his shoulder against the garage, facing Rook now.

  “Say what you got to say.” Rook had a feeling where this was going. Jana was Tuck’s old lady, and Bobbie and Jana were close. No doubt Bobbie had told Jana what a prick Rook was, and then Jana told her old man. Tuck was looking out for both of the women.

  “You already know what I’m going to say.”

  Rook grunted and nodded once, his focus on the table of food. “Yeah, I assume.”

  “Then what do you plan on doing about it?”

  Rook fully faced Tuck. “Why do you care what the fuck I do? It isn’t like you to get into the personal shit of others.”

  Tuck shrugged. “Jana’s worried about Bobbie, and I care about both of them. Bobbie’s a good woman, and her absence at the club hasn’t gone unnoticed.”

  Rook tipped his chin slightly in acknowledgment. Her absence had been noticed by everyone, and a day couldn’t go by without someone asking where she was. “I’m handling it.”

  “Yeah, how?”

  “Why the fuck do you care? Bobbie isn’t your old lady.”

  Tuck shrugged again. “Honestly, if it didn’t concern Bobbie and Jana I wouldn’t, but Bobbie is Jana’s best friend, and she’s part of the club family. You know that. They’ve been through a lot of shit together, and Bobbie was there for Braden and everyone when that fucked situation happened with Jana. And not just that, but look around, Rook.”

  Rook turned his focus to the construction site, to the fact all the guys were currently working, but also glancing at him intermittently.

  Lucien, Kink, and Malice were over by the blueprints, their expressions hard, which had nothing to do with the fact they were working on the building.

  Pierce was over with Fallina by one of the food-laden picnic tables, the Patch having an arm around his old lady, but his gaze right on Rook.

  And then there were Tank, Cain, and Ruin, and the two other prospects that were all bringing in the drywall. They glanced at Rook, too.

  What the hell?

  Had they all been staring at him and he hadn’t even fucking noticed? He sure as hell had noticed Tuck staring him down, but it seemed Rook was the main attraction today.

  “They all have affection for Bobbie. She’s been good to us, cooked and cleaned after our sorry, messy asses, and she’s good with the old ladies, kids, and sweet-butts.”

  Rook nodded. “I know, Tuck. Believe me, I kno
w.”

  “Than what’s the deal?”

  Rook let that question hang between them for a second, and then he swallowed and looked right into Tuck’s eyes. He’d be honest with Tuck, because even though he’d already decided he’d talk to Bobbie and pray she gave him a chance, Tuck also deserved to know why he’d been such an asshole. “I’m not a good man, Tuck. Hell, none of us are. I’ve done deplorable things, violent, nasty fucking things. Staying away from her is the right thing, because in my mind I thought if I did that she wouldn’t get stuck with a bastard like me.”

  Tuck was silent for a moment, but then shook his head. “Rook, you have to know that you’re already in deep with her. If you’re thinking about keeping her back because you’re looking out for her, you’re already gone for Bobbie.”

  Yeah, Rook knew that now, but he also didn’t want to ruin her. “I’m not going to hide any of this shit anymore. I want her, and I want to tell her all of it. But I’m afraid I’ll damage her, or not be able to give her what she wants and needs.”

  Tuck snorted. “Just tell her the truth. Just hearing what you’re saying now tells me you’re good enough for her. You don’t want to hurt her, and are looking out for her.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  They were silent for a long while, so long that Rook used that time to think about what he could even say to Bobbie to make this right.

  “Just tell her how you feel,” Tuck said, but Rook knew he hadn’t spoken his inner thoughts out loud. “Just tell her you’re a dumbass, fucked things up because you were actually trying to protect her, and go from there. What’s the worst that could happen?”

  “A hell of a lot, actually. I honestly don’t know what I’m even supposed to say to her.”

  Tuck nudged him in the shoulder with his fist. “Well, she’ll be here with Jana and Braden for lunch in about twenty minutes, so think up, brother.” And then Tuck was walking away and toward the table covered with food.