Redheads are Soulless Read online

  I suddenly found it hard to breath. “I’ll be right there.” I hung up the phone, and forced myself not to start screaming right here in front of Jason.

  Without even knowing what was said on the phone, Jason took my hand and pulled me forward. We ran towards his motorcycle as fast as my legs would allow me.

  Once we pulled onto the road, I let my mind wander.

  I shouldn’t have come tonight, this I know. If I hadn’t, I would be by my mother’s side the second she got out of surgery. Instead, I was a good 30 minutes away from the hospital.

  I was scared that she would die before I got to her. And what if she did die? What would happen to me? I didn’t have any family, I had nowhere to go. I would be all alone… But I wouldn’t allow myself to think like that. She would be ok.

  On the drive back, Jason drove faster than before, so it didn’t take as long to get there. To me though, it felt like an eternity. As soon as we pulled in front of the hospital, I climbed off the bike and handed the helmet to Jason. The second he grabbed it, I was running towards the entrance of the hospital.

  I ran up to the first desk that I saw.

  “I’m looking for my mom. Sarah Black.” I took deep, even breaths. I felt as though I was going to pass out.

  The nurse didn’t even look up at me. She just shuffled through the papers on her desk. “The doctor will be right out to see you,” she said.

  I could feel myself start to hyperventilate. I leaned against a nearby wall for support, but found myself sliding down onto the floor.

  I would not allow myself to cry here. I couldn’t have a break down.

  “Sofia,” I heard Jason’s voice.

  When I looked up at him, I noticed tears were blurring my vision.

  He held out his hand for me, and I accepted it. He pulled me back up and put his arm around me so I wouldn’t fall over. I didn’t fight. It felt nice having somebody hold me, and comfort me.

  “I just… I can’t… live… without her…” I said between each breath. “She’s the only… family… I have.”

  He caressed my hair. “It’s going to be ok, Sofie. Your mom is going to be fine,” he promised. I found comfort in his words. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by the doctor.

  “Sofia Black?” he asks.

  I nodded.

  “I’m Dr. Sharp,” he introduces himself. “Your mom is stable, but in very critical condition. She has some internal bleeding in her stomach. Surgery was successful, and we are confident she will make a full recovery. However, she does have a few broken ribs, a broken arm and a severe concussion.”

  She is going to live.

  I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

  “Can I see her?”

  “She is asleep right now, but you may go in the room for a few minutes. Follow me,” he said before turning around.

  I followed him down the long, white hallway. I could hear the distant sound of TV’s and heart monitors, but I mostly tuned everything out.

  Finally, at the end of the hallway, Dr. Sharp opened the door to the right. “I’ll give you 5 minutes,” he said checking his watch.

  I stepped inside while Jason waited in the hallway.

  My mom looked terrible. Her face was cut up, and she had stitches across half of her forehead. She had on a neck brace, and her arm was in a cast. It hurt to look at her, but the beep coming from her heart monitor was soothing.

  I grabbed her hand softly as I watched her sleeping. Tears now ran freely down my cheek.

  I wanted to say something to her, but I didn’t know what I should say. She was asleep, so I knew it wouldn’t make a difference. Instead of words, I stood there holding her hand.

  The five minutes were up far too fast.

  “Time to go,” the doctor motioned for me.

  I leaned over and kissed my mom on the cheek before following the doctor out the door. He informed me that I could visit her again in the morning at 9am.

  Jason offered to drive me home, but I declined. I decided I would sleep in the waiting room just in case my mom woke up and wanted to see me.

  I was in for a long night.

  …

  Sleeping in a waiting room was far more uncomfortable than I thought it would be. All together, I got maybe 2 hours of sleep. When it was 9 o’clock, the nurse finally took me in to see my mom. She was awake, but she didn’t look any better than the previous night.

  “Sof,” she greeted me with tears in her eyes.

  I walked quickly to her bed side and took her hand. “I’m so glad you’re awake, Mom. I’ve been so worried.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault.”

  Tears ran down her face. “Yes, it is,” she cried. “He was drunk, I should have known better than to get in a car with him. I could have died.”

  “I know, but you didn’t. You’re alive.”

  “I will make it up to you,” she promised. “I will change.”

  Her words should have comforted me, but they didn’t. I’ve heard my mom promise to “change” several times in my life. So far, she’s never been able to stay sober for more than 2 weeks, and that’s pushing it.

  I stayed in my mom’s room for about 30 more minutes until the nurse came back and said that she needed to get some rest. Mom insisted I go home and get some rest too. I decided it would probably be good to sleep for a few hours and pick up my truck.

  On my way outside, my phone started to vibrate. I didn’t recognize the number.

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “How is your mom?” Jason’s voice was on the other end.

  “She’s ok,” I answered, still in shock that he cared enough to call and check on me.

  “Do you need a ride home? I know you probably will want your truck.”

  I considered saying no, but I lived about 7 miles from the hospital and I had nobody else to call. I was going to walk, but that didn’t at all sound pleasant. “Please,” I answered. “And I promise I’ll pay you back somehow.”

  “For the hundredth time, you don’t have to pay me for anything.” With that, he hung up. I stood outside the hospital doors and waited.

  Within 5 minutes, he pulled up. Without saying a word, I got on and we took off.

  Once we got to my house, I turned to him, but I didn’t know what to say. Nobody had ever been kind to me before, and I was truly overwhelmed.

  “Thanks,” I said awkwardly. “I appreciate… everything.”

  “Do you want me to stay?” he asked. “I can be pretty good company when I try.”

  I shook my head. “No, it’s ok. I am just going to get some sleep and then head back to the hospital later on.”

  He genuinely looked disappointed. “If you change your mind, just call. I wouldn’t mind sitting at the hospital with you.”

  “Why would you want to do that? Hospitals are boring.”

  He looked at me for a few seconds before responding. “I would do anything to spend time with you.”

  My heart did a flip flop inside of my chest. I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just stood there looking at him.

  “Don’t look so confused,” he smiled. “I’ll see you later, Sof.”

  With that, he started his motorcycle and left me standing in my driveway.

  With each and every passing day, he confused me more and more. The wall that I’ve built, he was slowly tearing down. My heart was already vulnerable. I had to stop it.

  Four

  Recovery and Ice Skating

  Within a couple of weeks, my mom was released from the hospital.

  After being home two weeks, she was surprisingly still sober. I couldn’t believe it. I had never seen her go so long without a drink. I was genuinely proud of her. She even refused to take the pain killers that her doctor prescribed, even though I know she was in pain.

  School was much of the same... Jason talked to me every day, but mostly just to ask how my mother was doing. It’s like he knew exactly what
I needed from him.

  By the time November rolled around, my mom was well enough to head back to work… When I got up that Friday morning for school, I was surprised she was awake and waiting on me in the kitchen.

  “Hey Sof,” she greeted me. She was standing over the stove cooking pancakes and bacon.

  “Hey, Mom,” I answered back. “What’s the special occasion?”

  “Does it have to be a special occasion for me to cook for you?” She looked at me confused.

  I nodded my head. “Yes, it does. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you up before noon.”

  She laughed. “Oh you’re right. Today is a special occasion. Today is my one month anniversary of being completely alcohol free.”

  “Oh, that’s wonderful!” I walked to the stove and gave her a big hug.

  She cleared her throat as she pulled back from our embrace. “I know I haven’t been the best mom to you, and I wanna make it up. Since tomorrow is Saturday, I wanna take you to the mall in Huntsville and go shoppin’ for some new school clothes.”

  I blinked back the tears. “Are you serious, Mom?”

  She too looked like she was on the verge of tears. “Yes.”

  “Thank you!” I hugged her again.

  “Tonight I won’t be home,” she reminded me.

  Oh right. Friday night was always the hardest for my mom, so she attended weekly A.A. meetings on that night.

  “That’s ok. I’ll probably just come home and study.”

  “You should go out, and have some fun. You’re only seventeen once.”

  I laughed. “Maybe. If somebody asks me to go do something, I’ll go with them,” I promised. It was an easy promise to keep – nobody ever wanted to hang out with me.

  After a quick breakfast with my mom, I headed out to school.

  The past 4 Fridays have felt surreal… It was nice to not dread the upcoming weekend. I was already getting used to the good side of my mom… The old her was long gone, I could tell.

  As I walked to my first class, I couldn’t help but smile as I thought about our upcoming shopping trip. I looked down at my well-worn jeans and t-shirt from the dollar store. Soon, I wouldn’t have to wear these anymore… Maybe then I could make friends.

  “You look like you’re in a good mood,” a voice startled me.

  Jason.

  “That’s because I am in a good mood.”

  “So does that mean if I were to ask you out on a date you would accept?” His caramel colored eyes held hope. Oh, how I wanted to crush his hope. I didn’t want him thinking he had a shot with me. But, I remembered my promise to my mom.

  I sighed. “Not a date. But, we can hang out as friends.”

  “I’ll take what I can get, Friend,” he flirted.

  “So what did you have in mind?”

  “I’m guessing you’d say no if I asked you to elope in Vegas.”

  My heart did a flip flop at the thought of eloping with Jason, but I played it off, and rolled my eyes. “You would be guessing right.”

  “I figured. So instead, maybe we could go ice skating, and go out to dinner afterwards.”

  “That sounds an awful lot like dating activities to me.”

  He smirked. “At least give me the chance to woo you.”

  “Why, Jason Morgan, you’re trying to trick me.” I wanted to stop flirting with him, but for some reason, I couldn’t.

  “Come on, Sof. One date, what would it hurt?”

  I nodded my head. “Ok, fine. One date.”

  My head told me it was a bad idea. But, in reality, my heart was already a goner.

  After school, I went home and got ready for my “date” with Jason. The weather today was colder, so flip flops were out of the question.

  My mom came in my room and sat down on my bed while I looked through my clothes.

  “So what are you doing tonight?” she asked.

  “I’m going out.”

  “With who?”

  I sighed. “A boy from my school named Jason Morgan. We are going ice skating and then out to dinner.”

  “That’s so romantic,” she gushed. “Do you know how to ice skate?”

  I didn’t think of that. “No.”

  She held her hand over her heart. “He’s gonna have ta’ hold your hand to keep ya from fallin’. So sweet.”

  I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at her, but the thought of holding Jason’s hand did strange things to my heart. “Mom,” I laughed, “since when are you into romance?”

  “Didn’t I tell ya? I got a library card. I’ve been readin’ some really awesome romance books,” she went on to tell my about the many books she has read in the last week and a half.

  After picking out my outfit, my mom actually helped me fix my hair. She had a curling iron that she hadn’t used since Dad died, and surpassingly it still worked, so she decided to curl it. We decided to leave it down, letting the curls bounce freely.

  “How do I look?” I asked, doing a quick spin for her.

  “Like an angel,” she smiled proudly at me.

  The doorbell rang, and my heart felt like it dropped into my stomach. My mom went to answer the door, and I followed.

  “Hey Ms. Black,” Jason greeted her. “I’m glad to see that you’re doing better.”

  “Me too,” she agreed with him and took a step back. “Please, come in. Can I get you somethin’ ta drink?”

  “No thanks,” he replied.

  As he stepped through the door, I could see that he was holding a bouquet of purple roses. His eyes lit up as they met mine.

  “You are beautiful,” Jason commented as he walked up to me. He held out the purple flowers. “These are for you.”

  I looked down at the bouquet, and then back up to him. “How did you know that purple is my favorite color?”

  “Well I didn’t,” he answered. “I just know that you always write with a purple pen, you have purple framed sunglasses and you wear that one purple sundress at least once a week. I just suspected it was your favorite color.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I was stunned, because he was right. I did notice he paid a lot of attention to me, but I didn’t expect him to be so observant. It was really… sweet.

  I could look into Jason’s eyes all night, but thankfully, I remembered my mom was standing there. “I’m going to put these in water,” I finally spoke.

  “I’ll do it,” she said taking the bouquet. “Y’all go on and have fun.”

  I followed Jason outside, and he held open the door to a brand new Ford Mustang. “What happened to your motorcycle?” I asked as I got in.

  “Did you really think I would let a pretty lady like you ride out in the cold tonight?” he shook his head. Before I got a chance to respond, he gently shut my door and walked around and got in the driver’s seat.

  Once he pulled out onto the street, I started the conversation. “How do you have the money for a brand new car and a brand new motorcycle?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I just do.”

  I rolled my eyes at his lack of answer. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

  “Because… I… like… you…” he said it slowly.

  “You’ve said that already.”

  “Because it’s true.”

  “But why do you like me?” I asked.

  “We’ve been over this, Sofia. You don’t see the potential that I see.” He paused for a moment. “When I look at you, I have to remind myself to breathe. Your beauty is absolutely breathtaking. Not only are you the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met, but you’re also smart, kind-hearted, and forgiving. You have so much love to give.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that.

  “I hate that the other kids at school are so mean. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, but especially not you,” Jason sounded angry. “You’re spectacular, and even if nobody else sees it, know that I do.”

  I took a deep breath to stop myself from crying. I refused to cry in front of him, even if he just said the
most romantic thing that anybody has ever said to me.

  “I’m sorry, I’ve made you uncomfortable,” he apologized.

  “No, you didn’t…. I just… Thank you for that. It’s kind of nice having a friend,” I admitted. “You’re sort of awesome.”

  “Wow.”

  “Wow, what?” I asked.

  “It’s just nice to know that, in your own way, you feel the same as I do.” He smiled, and it felt good to know that I was the cause of his happiness. “I might just break through your walls after all.”

  I think you already have, I thought to myself.

  Jason pulled into the skating rink parking lot and turned the car off. “Have you ever been ice skating before?”

  I shook my head. “Never.”

  Again, he smiled. “I guess I’ll have to teach you then.”

  Jason got us both a pair of skates, and we sat down in the bleachers to put them on. People in the rink who were already skating intimidated me. There were five year olds who could skate better than I could walk.

  “Ready?” Jason asked as I tied the last lace.

  I nodded hesitantly. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. Together, we very carefully stepped onto the ice, and I immediately fell down, bringing Jason with me.

  “Sorry,” I said shyly as I bit my lip.

  Jason laughed. “You’re so cute.”

  With ease, he pulled me back to my feet. This time, he held on tighter so I couldn’t slip. After only a few minutes of him “dragging” me, I was finally able to move my feet without falling. I looked like a complete fool trying not to fall… It wasn’t exactly the “romantic” moment I had pictured in my head.

  “Sorry that I suck.”

  He laughed. “It’s ok. That just means we have to come back often so we can practice. I’m completely fine with that.”

  I liked the sound of that.

  After ice skating for an hour, and nearly falling about 40 times, Jason and I went to get pizza from a nearby town.

  “What is your favorite kind of pizza?” he asked.

  “Bacon, ham, pineapple and jalapeño,” I answered after careful consideration.