At Her Feet Read online

  “My butt’s near your eggs,” I say.

  “That’s fine with me. I like having you naked in my kitchen.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes, I do. We can go outside today, but dress light. It’s already warm out.”

  “You don’t want me naked on your sidewalk?”

  “I wouldn’t mind that one bit, but there are kids in the neighborhood. We don’t need to give them that sort of education.”

  “But we can go outside?”

  “Yes. After you eat. And put on some clothes.”

  “Fine,” I say, pretending to pout before I smile. “Thank you. You’ll have the best-looking sidewalk on the block. “

  “I’m looking forward to it, baby.” She kisses me then. I’m into it, but I still yelp that she pinches my nipple.

  After I put on some clothes—a pink romper with thin straps and frilly trim—we eat a little brunch. Pilar makes omelets and coffee cake, and there’s fruit. It’s all delicious, and I’m reminded that even though my parents taught me to cook a ton of different things, I’ve been living off crap and meals for one for ages. I help clear the table, and then she sends me outside. She says she’ll be there in a few minutes.

  I take that time to run and draw something by her car—a heart and a little love note. Hopefully, she’ll see it before she goes to work. Pilar comes outside eventually, with a magazine, her knitting setup, and her iPod doc. I’m in front of the house drawing an elaborate series of vines and flowers up her walkway. I forgot how much this chalk gets all over your hands. She puts on some hip-hop, but the guys are singing in Spanish so I have no idea what they’re saying. Still, I like the beat. The next song is Jay-Z. I sing along. Luckily, it’s the clean version so I don’t have to skip the swears. When I glance up, Pilar is looking at her magazine, but I can tell she’s grinning at my ridiculousness.

  I’m baking like a potato by the time I make it to the street, but I’m having so much fun just letting my mind wander. I’m getting dirty and it’s no big deal. The woman I belong to is watching me, and she doesn’t seem to mind that I don’t want to sit around and talk about “serious” shit.

  I move a few times for the occasional pedestrian and dog, but later in the afternoon, I have company. Two little girls, maybe nine or ten years old, show up to admire my work. “Can we draw?” The shorter one asks. She’s Korean and her friend is black. I’m already in love with their friendship.

  “Sure,” I say before I look around. “I’m almost out of pink though.”

  “That’s okay. I have more.” The little Korean girl turns and bolts back to the house next door.

  “I’m Suzy,” I say to the girl who’s been left behind.

  “I’m April and that’s Joanna.”

  “I grabbed the whole bucket,” Joanna screeches as she comes tearing around the corner. She’s towing a small beach bucket full of sidewalk chalk. There seems to be a variety of pink. She doesn’t ask me my name, but plops down on the grass beside me.

  “I think we should go to the beach,” Joanna announces.

  “The beach?” I have one of those moments of panic where I’m genuinely trying to figure out what the hell a child is talking about.

  “Yes.” She points down the street. “We start down there and draw Venice. Then we come back here to Santa Monica, and then my house is Malibu.”

  “That’s a lot of beach,” I say. The girl has mapped out a good thirty yards of sidewalk.

  “We’ve got a lot of chalk,” Joanna replies. “What’s your name?”

  “It’s Suzy,” April replies for me.

  “Cool. Suzy, you’ve got sand and water. April, you take the sky. I’ll do landmarks. It’ll take awhile to get the pier just right.”

  I’d like to double-check that the neighbors don’t look like the gun-toting kind, but a slight nod from Pilar tells me it’s okay. So we go down to the next house and start on Venice. Free-drawing vines is fun, but the details of sand and waves are all business. I stop periodically and watch Joanna, in shock at just how accurately she’s capturing the VENICE sign and the little shops that line the water.

  “You’re black, right?” Joanna asks me suddenly.

  “My mom is,” I tell her. “And my dad is Korean.”

  “That’s awesome. So you’re like both of us.” This is the first time April’s perked up all afternoon. I don’t think drawing the entirety of the California coastline is her idea of a good time.

  “I am. A little of both.”

  “Are you Ms. Castillo’s girlfriend?” Joanna asks, moving right on to the next important topic. I panic for real this time. It’s not like I can tell this kid the truth.

  “What makes you ask that?” I say, keeping my tone light.

  “My mom told me that Ms. Castillo only likes girls, and you were here yesterday, too.”

  “It’s gay,” April says. “When a girl dates girls it means they’re gay. My uncle’s gay, but he dates boys.” I smile at the adorable giggle she lets out.

  “I know it’s gay or lesbian,” Joanna says. She won’t be shown up in this conversation. “I just want to know if they’re girlfriend and girlfriend.”

  I glance at Pilar, but she actually seems to be focused on the article she’s reading. Another chance, I take it and pray I’m not fucking things for Pilar with her neighbors.

  “I am her girlfriend. Her new girlfriend.”

  “Ooooh,” Joanna says, clasping her piece of chalk under her chin. “Do you guys kiss?”

  April is suddenly appalled. “That’s rude, Jo. You’re not supposed to ask that. And she’s not supposed to kiss and tell.”

  I want to high-five April, but I don’t. Instead I say, “That’s gross. Of course we don’t kiss.”

  “Well, you’re supposed to. She’s your girlfriend,” Joanna replies, but she lets it go.

  We’re moving on to Santa Monica when I hear “Joanna!” from over the hedge.

  “Mom. I’m right here!”

  Joanna’s mother comes around the corner. She’s pretty, but not as pretty as Pilar. “They aren’t bothering you, are they?” she asks.

  “No,” I say, and I mean it. “Suzy. I’d shake your hand, but…”

  “I know. That crap gets everywhere. At least it comes out easily. I’m Karen. Only a few more minutes, girls. April’s mom is on her way.”

  Both girls groan, but Karen isn’t paying attention to us anymore. She waves to Pilar then, and walks up to the porch to say hello. I don’t know how well they know each other, but I do watch their interaction out of the corner of my eye. They both disappear into the house.

  They’re back a few minutes later with lemonade for all of us. April’s mom shows up just as she’s downing a second cup.

  Once April is gone and Joanna is corralled back over to her side of the hedge, Pilar tells me it’s time to go inside. I collapse on the couch. It’s been a long time since I spent a whole afternoon in the sun.

  “The kids asked me if we were doing it,” I say.

  “They did?”

  “Well, Joanna told me her mom told her you’re gay, and she asked if I was your girlfriend. I said yes. Is that okay?”

  “Of course, it’s okay. Her mother’s been flirting with me for years. She probably had some explaining to do,” Pilar says. “Don’t worry, baby. I’m not into her.”

  I believe her, but it’s hard not to be a little possessive. She leans down and kisses me. “I only have eyes for my little girl.” That does the trick.

  *

  We have pizza for dinner and watch TV for a while. But suddenly at eight, she turns the TV off.

  She turns to me. “I want to have a little straight talk.” I’m a little nervous, but I say okay. Pilar takes my hand. “I’ve enjoyed having you here. I want to know how this weekend has been for you.”

  “It’s been great. I really like spending time with you.”

  “Moving forward, I’d like you to spend weekends with me. If I have a weekend engagement, I’d like
you to accompany me. Depending on the situation, we’ll decide how we should present ourselves.”

  “Okay. That works for me.”

  “If you have somewhere you need to be, let me know in advance and I’ll make adjustments.”

  “My weekends are usually pretty dull, so I doubt it’ll happen, but okay.”

  “I’m going to want to see you during the week, if our schedules allow it. How do you feel about that? And I want you to be honest with me. I don’t want you rushing around town if what you really need is a night’s sleep in your own bed.”

  I try to control my excitement. I hadn’t thought this was an option, but it’s what I want. The idea of going five days without her is brutal. I practically forgot about my apartment. But I tell her honestly how I feel.

  “I would love to see you during the week. If I have a bad day at work, being with you will be exactly what I need.”

  “About work. There’s one thing I want you to do. Every day you’ll have a different pair of panties to wear. I want you to find time during the day to send me proof that you’re wearing them.”

  “You mean send a picture to your phone?”

  “Yes. I want to see your pussy in my panties every day.”

  “I can do that,” I say. “Um, what if we can’t see each other, but I want to call you or text you?”

  “You can call me whenever you want, but just text me first.”

  I try to hide my giddiness again with a simple okay. Laurel had so many rules, and one of them was that I was never to call her. I was to wait for her to contact me. Looking back, that wasn’t the best arrangement.

  “Good. Every week we’ll talk like this, but if something comes up, you don’t have to wait for this time.” I think for a moment, wracking my brain for some question or concern, but I can’t think of anything. Pilar asks me one more time if I have anything I want to discuss, but I assure her I’m good to go.

  “Sunday night you’ll have your bath and then it’s early to bed.” I sense she’s back in Mami mode so I don’t question her plans.

  We go to the bathroom and she undresses me as the water runs. I expect the same professional-like attention she paid me before with the lotion, but I’m wrong. She helps me out of my romper, and as she slips the fabric down my belly, she kisses my breasts. Several kisses to the top of each and a few soft kisses to each nipple. As she moves lower, she kisses my belly, then the top of my slit.

  When she stands, I’m anything but disappointed. I recognize this look in her eye. She wants to touch me. She’s just getting started.

  She helps me into the bath and starts washing me with a rose-scented scrub. It smells like her perfume. She moves slowly and talks to me as she goes. She tells me how pretty I am and how well I behaved today. When she moves to wash between my legs I ask her to kiss me. She does and I’m happy. The bath does the trick. Though I’m turned on by her caresses, I’m relaxed and a little drowsy. The idea of going to bed a little earlier than usual has its appeal. After I’m toweled off and lotioned up, she tells me to wait in my room. She’s gone for a few minutes. When she comes back, she’s naked.

  She has a set of pink padded wrist cuffs and a long strapless dildo in her hand. I don’t ask what she has planned, and she doesn’t offer an explanation. She lets me watch as she slips the short end of the dildo into her pussy. My mouth starts to water. Then she secures the cuffs to the back of my bed frame. I see how she wants me, but again, I wait for her instruction. I feel myself slipping into complete submission. I want her to take this as far as my body can handle. I want her to be in complete control.

  “Yellow if you’re uncomfortable. Red if you want me to stop.”

  I nod, unable to find my voice. She doesn’t demand a verbal reply, and this makes me trust her even more. She understands where I’m at mentally. I let her arrange me, bent over the bed with my feet on the floor, and then she secures my wrists. The leather is soft and the padding a nice addition. I let my head hang and wait for her to put the dildo inside of me.

  But that doesn’t happen.

  She’s behind me, maybe on her knees, and she’s spreading me apart. She’s looking, maybe, or maybe she’s about to take me with her mouth. I don’t know, but I don’t have to wait long. With a downward stroke, she smacks my right cheek. It’s not painful, just shocking. I yelp and jerk forward. She pauses just a moment, then smacks the same cheek again. Then her mouth is on me. I feel her whole face pressed between my legs. She’s sucking my lips between her lips. She’s driving at me with her tongue. And then she pulls away. She smacks my other cheek.

  This goes on for a long time. She warms my ass with a controlled spanking and makes my pussy swell with every stroke of her tongue. I’m squirming and moaning. I’m not begging for anything, but I’m calling her Mami and she’s breathing hard. Soon, she stands. She grips my waist hard, and I know she’s about to fuck me and she’s going to be rough doing it. I’m primed for her dick. It’s long and thick, but I take every inch. I lean back into it. She pounds me, each thrust sending me forward, but her hands digging into my hips hold me in place. She varies her pace as we go, faster then slower, but each bit of contact is forceful. I love the way it feels, and when she adds her fingers on my clit, I’m nearly screaming. She stops the movement of her hips and I find myself riding back on her dick, fucking myself at my own pace as she continues to finger me at my front. My pussy latches on to her, squeezing and convulsing around the cock. I’m coming so hard, I’m cursing and saying her name, “Mami,” this time. It’ll always be “Mami” when she makes me feel this good. I feel myself ejaculating, but her cock is buried so deep, my release has nowhere to go.

  She doesn’t bring me down softly. Instead, she flips the catch on the cuffs and I’m free of the bed frame. She pulls out and throws me on my back. I can feel my come slipping down my thigh. She ditches the dildo altogether and straddles my stomach. She holds her lips apart with one hand, and with the other, she’s viciously stroking her clit. I grab her hips.

  “Fuck, Suzy,” she says. “Oh fuck, baby. I’m gonna come.” We make eye contact and a violent shiver runs over my body. Her eyes squeeze shut and she starts to come. She’s rubbing her clit so hard, I wonder if it hurts, but she doesn’t stop. Finally, she collapses on me. She’s panting hard. I suck her breast.

  “Oh, that feels good, baby.” I move to the other and pay it just as much as attention, but she stops me.

  “It’s time for bed.” She stands and seems to regain her composure, but her eyes are still a little wild. She takes the cuffs off me and puts them on the floor by the dildo. She helps me under my sheets.

  My lights are turned off and my night-light is turned on. She kneels beside my bed and I expect a simple kiss good night, but she slips her hand under the covers. Our eyes hold each other the whole time she fingers me. This has always been a part of the fantasy. She can leave me wanting more or she can take. I want her to take. I want her to sneak into my room at night and do this to me. I think about that and I’m clenching my sheets as she finishes me off.

  I want to say I love you, but I don’t. It’s tricky in a situation like this. I love her dominance. I love her affection. I love the way she’s touching me, but we’re not in love yet. And I know in my head, if I say those words I’ll be creating another level of attachment for myself, one she may not return.

  I say good night instead and accept her tongue in my mouth as she kisses me one more time. Her parting kiss on my forehead seems final. I’m meant to stay in my bed tonight. I dig up Frank and curl up on my side. I miss Pilar already, but sleep finds me quickly. I’m too worn out to dream.

  Chapter Four

  Monday morning comes like a punch in the face. I shower quickly. I have my come between my legs and traces of Pilar’s on my stomach, so I use her rose scrub to wash it all away. When I come out of the bathroom, I spot a pair of pink panties with yellow ducks on them next to my work clothes. Next to the underwear are two wrapped boxes. The larger one is fill
ed with my underwear for the week. In the other are two white bow barrettes.

  I pack up my stuff and find Pilar in the kitchen. She kisses me quickly, then hands me a cup of coffee and a plate of eggs. I realize I’m actually running late. I scarf down my food, but before I bolt out the door, Pilar takes me by the waist.

  “Have a good day and drive safe,” she says.

  “You, too.” I pause, looking at her ample breasts between us. “I really like being with you.”

  “I like being with you, too. Do you want to take Frank home?”

  I wince a little and nod toward my things. “Yeah. I already grabbed him. Is that okay?”

  “Yes, baby. The stuffed animals are yours. He can stay with you when we’re apart.” She kisses me and then it’s really time for me to go. I’m glowing on my way to work even though my e-mail alerts are already going off on my phone. The minute I walk into the office, my joy is dashed. Back to the real world.

  *

  By one, it’s a wonder I still have any hair on my head. Valerie and I survive a two-hour meeting with 21 And Up, where they suggest we’ve gotten the launch date for the mobile app wrong. I keep my cool and insist they check the e-mail that I re-forward as we are speaking, clearly outlining the launch of the mobile app for the middle of July. They argue that the tenth is the middle of July, even though I told my guys the fifteenth. Valerie promises we’ll get it in on time. After we hang up, I promise not to quit, even though she’s just committed us to more overtime.

  Clear Vision is still including me on their e-mail chains even though Daisuke and I have both told them I’m no longer on the account. I want to scream and yank my hair out. I don’t. I decide I should eat something first, then pitch myself off the top of the building. Liam grabs us lunch and we hide in an empty conference room. I need a break before someone gets an office supply to the head.

  “Tell me about your weekend,” Liam says.

  “Oh, shit.” I jump up and grab my phone. “Be right back.” I ignore Liam’s confused look and make right for the restroom. The stalls are empty, so I pick one and quickly hike up my skirt.