Dork Diaries Book 12: Tales From a Not-So-Secret Crush Catastrophe Read online

  “Good! So, um, thanks for the pastries and balloons. It’s been nice talking to you, André.”

  Then, for some reason, he sat down at my table, picked up the menu, and started reading it. Then he kind of stared at me and smiled.

  “So, I read your letter, Nicole. I realize we’ve only known each other for a week, but it feels like a year. I honestly never thought you’d feel the same way about ME that I feel about YOU!”

  “OMG! André, YOU’RE having second thoughts about US spending the summer in Paris together TOO?! I’m SO relieved! This is really good news! I was hoping you’d understand!”

  “Um, actually, I DON’T understand!” André mumbled. “I’m a little confused.”

  “Just like I said in my letter, if I change my mind, I’ll let you know! Now, I think you should get to that party. I’d hate for you to miss out!”

  “You keep talking about a party. WHAT party?!” André asked, getting a little annoyed.

  “The one you said you were invited to. Don’t you remember?”

  That’s when I heard someone clear their throat rather loudly.

  It was Brandon!

  He was back, and he did NOT look happy to see André sitting there. And André did NOT look very happy to see Brandon.

  They both just stared at each other for what seemed like FOREVER.

  Then the three of us had a really deep and meaningful conversation. . . .

  “So, Brandon,” I said cheerfully. “Why don’t you, um . . . have a seat?”

  “I CAN’T!” Brandon grumbled. “André is in my SEAT! Again! It’s becoming a really BAD habit, dude! What’s up with that?!”

  “Hi, Brandon!” André said drily. “What are YOU doing here?”

  “No, the question is, WHAT are YOU doing in MY seat?” Brandon muttered.

  I could not believe Brandon and André were acting SO immature. They were starting to get on my last nerve.

  “Actually, André just stopped by to say hello. He’s here for a birthday party,” I explained.

  “There. Is. No. PARTY!” André said under his breath.

  Brandon narrowed his eyes at André. “So, the balloon says ‘Congrats!!’ What’s the occasion?”

  André folded his arms and grinned at Brandon.

  “Nikki was awarded the trip to PARIS! It’ll be fourteen days in mid-July, and I’ve volunteered to show her around the city! Didn’t she tell you?!”

  Brandon looked like he’d just gotten hit in the face with a dodgeball.

  “Um . . . NO! She DIDN’T tell me! But what she DID tell ME was that she was going on the Bad Boyz tour the entire month of July, and I believed her. Although now I don’t know WHAT to believe. Nikki, your letter is starting to make a lot more sense. . . .” Brandon trailed off as a wave of hurt washed over his face.

  “Actually, André, I haven’t had a chance to tell Brandon about the Paris trip yet!” I said.

  “OOPS!” André shrugged. “SORRY!”

  “Nikki, why didn’t you tell me?” Brandon asked. “That’s pretty important news! And it impacts ALL of our summer plans.”

  “Well, I tried to tell you, Chloe, and Zoey on Wednesday. And I tried to tell you again on Thursday, but you wouldn’t even talk to me! That’s why I wrote the letter,” I explained.

  “Okay, Nikki. I just have one question,” Brandon said quietly as he stared at the floor. “Did you really mean what you said in that letter? I need to know that.”

  “Yes, Brandon, I meant every WORD of it. And I meant every WORD of the letter I gave to you, André. I would really appreciate it if you BOTH would let me make my OWN decisions. Just try to get along and stop acting like four-year-olds.”

  “You’re right, Nikki,” Brandon said solemnly. “I just want you to be HAPPY! And if it means Paris, then that’s what I want for you. Listen, I’d better get going. This pizza is getting cold. So I’ll . . . um . . . see you around. Maybe.”

  He turned and walked toward the door.

  “Listen, Brandon. You don’t have to leave. We still need to talk. At least I owe you an explanation. WAIT!” I said as I blinked back tears.

  But Brandon just ignored me and kept walking.

  He stopped at the door, glanced at me over his shoulder, and then opened it to leave.

  At that moment it was quite obvious to me that our friendship, or whatever we had, was officially over .

  OMG! I can’t believe it’s after midnight. I’m mentally and physically EXHAUSTED just writing about all this stuff.

  I’ll think I’ll finish this diary entry . . .

  TOMORROW!

  Right now I need to get some sleep!

  !!

  SUNDAY, JUNE 1—1:30 P.M.

  IN MY BEDROOM

  I still haven’t quite recovered from all the drama at Queasy Cheesy. It was UNREAL!

  Unfortunately, I won’t have much time to write in my diary today because my mom is making me take Brianna to see Princess Sugar Plum Saves Baby Unicorn Island: Part 9 !

  After that I plan to watch a marathon session of My Very Rich and Trashy Life! reruns, eat dinner, do my homework, and then go to bed.

  Now, where did I leave off? . . . I was practically in tears at Queasy Cheesy as I watched Brandon walk away. He glanced sadly at me over his shoulder and then opened the door.

  That’s when my BFFs, CHLOE and ZOEY, came STORMING into the restaurant, YELLING like their HAIR was on FIRE!! . . .

  MY BFFS, CHLOE AND ZOEY, ARRIVING AT QUEASY CHEESY

  “OMG! Thank goodness we found you, Nikki!” Chloe shrieked, out of breath.

  “We called your mom, and she told us you were here!” Zoey shouted excitedly.

  WHAT in the world is going on? I wondered. Then they each grabbed Brandon by an arm and practically dragged him back to my table.

  “Listen, Chloe and Zoey,” Brandon grumbled, “the last thing I want to do is interrupt Nikki’s date. So I was just leaving. . . .”

  “BRANDON! SIT DOWN!!” Chloe and Zoey both yelled at him.

  Brandon blinked in surprise, pulled up a chair from a nearby table, and quickly sat down.

  “Listen, guys,” André said, “I know you’re really good friends and all. But Nicole personally invited ME here to discuss our summer plans. I think you need to respect our privacy.”

  That’s when Chloe totally lost it. “Listen, Mr. Cutie Pants! You can talk to Nicole all you want. But stay away from our BFF, Nikki! I’m warning you! I know karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do, and at least five other dangerous words!” she growled.

  “You tell him, girlfriend!” Zoey said. “And I’VE got . . . ! Wait, I know I put that thing in here somewhere,” she said, digging around inside her purse.

  Suddenly she whipped out her cell phone.

  Just GREAT ! Chloe and Zoey barged in like a herd of wild buffalo and threatened my new friend, André, with violence!

  JUST to take a few more cute SELFIES with him?!

  I was SO disgusted!

  Zoey tapped her phone a few times. “And I’ve got . . . THIS! An incriminating PHOTO!”

  She shoved it right in André’s face. “Can you explain THIS, André?!” Zoey shouted.

  André stared at it and furrowed his brow.

  “Um . . . it looks like a girl in pink pajamas with a mud mask on, dancing while singing into a hairbrush?” He shrugged.

  “Oh, wait! That’s me! Wrong photo!” She giggled nervously as she tapped her phone again.

  Then she shoved her phone into André’s face again. “Okay! Explain THIS!”

  “Um . . . it’s a little old lady with a party hat on, blowing out candles on a birthday cake?” he said.

  “Oops! That’s my grandma’s seventy-fifth birthday party! Wrong photo again. This STUPID phone is so touch sensitive,” she grumbled.

  I just rolled my eyes. Brandon shook his head in disbelief. André looked a little bored.

  “Okay, let’s try this ONE LAST time! Explain . . . THIS!” Zoey snarled.

&nb
sp; André glanced at the phone with a smirk on his face. But it quickly melted into concern. . . .

  ZOEY, INTERROGATING ANDRÉ

  Poor André, I thought. It looked like my BFFs had finally discovered those online photos of us.

  Queasy Cheesy is known for its entertainment that features Queasy the Mouse and his rock band of animatronic animal pals. NOT my over-the-top middle school DRAMA!

  But people were staring and eating popcorn !

  “Nikki, we’re here to warn you that you’re eating pizza with a DIRTY RAT!” Zoey said loudly.

  Just at that moment, Queasy the Mouse was waddling by with a tray of pizza and heard her. He stopped in his tracks and sadly hung his head.

  “Come on, Zoey! Queasy’s a mouse, not a rat. And he’s not THAT dirty,” I argued. “Rodents have feelings too, you know.”

  “Actually, I wasn’t talking about Queasy!” Zoey said. “Um . . . sorry about that!” She gave the costumed mouse a sheepish grin. “We GOOD?!”

  Queasy gave her a nod and a thumbs-up and happily waddled away.

  “I was talking about the two-faced WEASEL over there!” Zoey said, pointing.

  I thought she was throwing shade at Willy the Weasel, who played guitar on the Queasy Cheesy stage. But she was pointing straight at André, who stared back with a worried look on his face.

  “André?!” I uttered in shock. “Zoey, what are you talking about? You’re making a BIG mistake.”

  Chloe tapped Zoey’s shoulder. “I’ll take it from here. I got this!” she said gruffly, like the bad cop. Uh-oh, I thought. Chloe is my BFF and all, but sometimes that girl can be so . . . EXTRA!

  “So, Chloe and Zoey, would you like one? They’re delish!” André said nervously as he offered them his box of French pastries.

  “Dude, the ONLY reason we’re here is to . . . TAKE. YOU. DOWN!” Chloe said, wagging her finger in his face. “Nobody messes with our BFF! Even if they’ve got delicious, melt-in-your-mouth chocolate pastries that are still warm and smell heavenly!”

  She snatched the box of pastries from André and shoved one into her mouth. . . .

  CHLOE, EATING MY CHOCOLATE PASTRIES!

  “I’m confiscating these for . . . um . . . evidence! I need to taste test each one for safety reasons!” Chloe muttered with her mouth full.

  “Chloe, CHILLAX!” I shouted. “Leave André alone! And PLEASE tell me what’s going on!!”

  “Nikki, someone has been posting altered photos of you online to create scandalous gossip about you shamelessly flirting with André,” Zoey explained. “And they’ve been posting nasty comments on the message boards about ALL of us. They actually called you, Zoey, and me DOGS!”

  “We are NOT dogs!” Chloe said angrily, her hands on her hips. “Zoey and I only got FLEAS that one time we helped Brandon wash dogs at Fuzzy Friends. But it wasn’t HIS fault WE forgot to use the flea dip!”

  “Thank you for coming here to tell me all this stuff. But I already know about it,” I said.

  “YOU DO?!” Chloe and Zoey gasped in surprise.

  “Yeah! Brandon does too. And you just told André. I think SelfieChic is Tiffany and MacKenzie is LuvMyLipGloss. MacKenzie pretty much admitted to me she posted the pics. But I’m sure she’s going to LIE like a rug if we report her to Principal Winston for cyberbullying. We’re going to need more PROOF!”

  “Well, here’s another piece of the puzzle for you!” Zoey said as she showed Brandon and me that photo on her phone.

  I’d assumed it was one of the photos of André and me online, but it WASN’T!

  OMG! I could NOT believe my eyes! It was . . .

  SHOCKING!

  The four of us just GLARED at André like he was something nasty Daisy had left behind the couch.

  “Listen, that photo is NOT what it seems. Nicole, you’ve got to b-believe me! I c-can explain!” André stammered.

  “Okay, André. You have exactly ONE minute,” I said, trying to remain calm. “Start EXPLAINING!”

  Maybe there WAS a perfectly innocent explanation for what we saw in that photo ! But from the looks of it, probably NOT !

  UH-OH! My mom just called me.

  I have to stop writing now.

  Time to go on an EXCITING trip to Baby Unicorn Island for yet another CAPTIVATING adventure with Princess Sugar Plum and my bratty little sister.

  WHY was I NOT born an only child?!

  !!

  MONDAY, JUNE 2—NOON

  IN THE JANITOR’S CLOSET

  I thought I knew André pretty well. He seemed like a really nice guy, but I guess I was wrong.

  I had been happy to hang out with him because he said he’d just started attending North Hampton Hills and didn’t have any friends.

  He had also confessed that he hated being the “new kid” and was really worried about fitting in.

  I felt the EXACT same way when I first came to Westchester Country Day Middle School.

  OMG! It was HORRIBLE! The first few weeks of school, I wandered the halls like a ZOMBIE!

  No one ever talked to me and I sat alone at lunch every single day. MacKenzie always went out of her way to make my life MISERABLE!

  So Chloe’s cell phone pic kind of blew my mind! . . .

  ANDRÉ AT THE CUPCAKERY WITH MACKENZIE AND TIFFANY?!

  I don’t know why, but BOTH MacKenzie and Tiffany HATE MY GUTS !!

  And now it appears that André is FRIENDS with them AND has been HELPING them post photos and nasty comments online.

  Chloe and Zoey had been at the CupCakery earlier that day and had seen the three of them together. They’d snapped that pic just for me.

  I felt numb. I was so hurt and upset, I wanted to CRY!! I really thought he was my friend.

  André was talking, but I wasn’t really listening.

  “. . . so I just sat down at their table for a minute just to see what they were up to and say hi. Then I grabbed the pastries and came straight over here. And that’s the truth, Nicole!”

  The four of us just stared at André silently. Then Chloe cleared her throat. “André, would you like to know what we’re thinking right now?”

  He smiled weakly and looked hopeful. “Sure, Chloe. I’d love to hear what you have to say.”

  “ANDRÉ, THAT’S THE MOST RIDICULOUS STORY WE’VE EVER HEARD AND A COMPLETE PACK OF LIES, YOU PATHETIC CYBERBULLY!” she yelled.

  “Listen, I’m sorry you guys don’t believe me. But that’s NOT going to stop me from doing the right thing!” André said, getting up to leave. “And, Nicole, I’ll always . . .” He looked at Brandon and stopped midsentence.

  I don’t know why, but I suddenly felt REALLY confused. What if André was telling the truth?

  We watched as André walked to the door.

  He glanced sadly at me over his shoulder and then opened the door.

  That’s when MacKenzie and Tiffany came barreling through the door, yelling at the top of their lungs like they had lost their minds. . . .

  “ANDRÉ! YOU THIEF!! YOU ARE SO BUSTED!” MacKenzie yelled.

  “GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE! NOW!” Tiffany screamed. “I KNOW YOU TOOK IT!”

  They each grabbed him by an arm and practically dragged him back to our table. My friends and I just stared at them, speechless. WHAT was going on?!

  The biggest question was, when had MacKenzie and Tiffany become members of the I HATE ANDRÉ CLUB? They were ALL at the CupCakery just an hour ago, CANOODLING like BFFs. Something was very FISHY!

  “You know what, Tiffany? I DON’T believe you for one second!” I said. “YOU stole Mr. Winter’s lesson plan book and then told him that I did it, remember? And NOW you’re saying André stole your phone. You may not be a pathological LIAR, but I bet you’re really close!”

  “Tiffany, I totally agree with Nikki,” Brandon said. “I HATE to admit it, but I don’t think André stole your phone! He may be a cold, deceitful, backstabbing cyberbully, but I don’t think he’s a dirty, rotten, sleazy THIEF.”

  Chloe and Zoey nodd
ed in agreement. . . .

  It felt like André was on trial and we were the judge and jury!

  But what happened next ALMOST made my head EXPLODE!

  “Actually . . . I AM a dirty, rotten, sleazy THIEF!” André confessed, like it was NOT a big deal.

  THEN HE ACTUALLY PULLED TIFFANY’S CELL PHONE OUT OF HIS BACK POCKET!

  Everyone gasped! I could not believe my eyes!

  “See, Nikki?! I told you André was shady!” Chloe exclaimed. “Someone call the POLICE! Quick!”

  “Just let me explain, okay?” André pleaded. “While I was at the CupCakery picking up the pastries, I overheard Tiffany and MacKenzie talking about the photos they’d posted online. I saw them posting nasty comments on some website using Tiffany’s phone. So I just kind of borrowed it so I’d have proof of what they were doing. I’ll give it back to her later today.”

  “Dude, isn’t that illegal?” Brandon said.

  “How do we know you didn’t STEAL those pastries, too?!” Chloe shrieked. “OMG! I’ve been eating STOLEN property! I’m going to JAIL!”

  “You’re NOT going to get away with taking MY phone, André!” Tiffany yelled. “You mess with me and you’re going to be in BIG trouble! Give it back right now! Or I’m . . . I’m telling MOM!”

  “No you’re not, Tiffany!” André shot back. “Because . . . I’M TELLING MOM!! Sorry, but you’re BUSTED! For cyberbullying people again! I have all the proof I need right here. Mom will probably ground you for half the summer and make you do community service at the senior citizens center. Just like last time!”

  “André, don’t you DARE tell Mom! PLEEEASE!” Tiffany whined. “I HATE volunteering at the senior citizens center. I’d rather EAT five tubes of denture cream and DROWN myself in a bucket of PRUNE JUICE than go back there!”

  “Hold up! Hold up! Hold up!” Zoey interrupted. “Tiffany, Imma let you finish!” she said, like that famous rapper. “But . . . ANDRÉ IS YOUR BROTHER?!!”

  My head was SPINNING!

  “I’m her STEPBROTHER!” André answered. “My mother is married to Tiffany’s father.”