As We Speak Read online

  To help you make this subtle but critical shift in how you approach your content, let’s look at someone who’s getting it wrong. Consider the example of John. John needs to go in and motivate his listeners to raise their performance. How’s he doing?

  Hi, I’m John Stevens, and I’m the senior vice president here. I just want to say how happy I am to be here. I have been with this company for sixteen years, and I have waited for this day for a long time. I’m really passionate about this. I just want to say that I was the guy who said this could never be done. I was the one who never believed it. So today, I want you to know how much I appreciate what we’re about to do. What I want from everybody here is a full commitment. I want you to walk out of here today ready to take the hill. I know we can do it. We need to go from 10 to 15 percent this quarter, and with the new technology, and everyone’s full involvement, I know we can make this happen.

  How’s he doing? Are you feeling motivated? Probably not! And why not? Because all John is talking about is himself. And no one cares but John.

  In order to influence a listener, you need to speak to his needs. Your content should be focused on what he cares about the most. Now imagine John takes another swing at this speech. This time, he’s concentrating not on what he wants to say, but on what the listeners need to know and feel in order to feel motivated:

  For many of you this has been a tough year. Your perseverance and commitment is borne out by the success this team has demonstrated. Our market share is up, and our products are transforming more lives than ever. This has been made possible by only one thing—your efforts. Thank you. Now, we are still ahead of the competition but they’re right behind us, and they’re closing in. All of you remember the pride of having them miles behind us. Now we’re going to have to push harder than ever, to show that our service to customers is second to none. Now is when we find what we we’re made of, as we draw upon the culture we’ve created, the strategies we’ve honed, and the reputation that we’ve earned. We’re going to have to go out there every day and demonstrate that our products and our services are still the best in the market. Are you with me?

  Let’s make an important distinction—we’re not talking about telling your listener what he wants to hear, in a flattering or manipulative way. We’re talking about starting with your listener first, and shaping a message that will be relevant to him. The question that you ask yourself is not “How much information can I shovel down his throat?” The question is “What does he need to know and feel to move him to action?” Instead of fire-hosing your audience with data, you’re going to learn to rapidly develop a lucid structure of ideas that will guide your audience through an experience. Chapter One will take you through the preparation process. Chapter Two focuses on constructing the architecture of your talk. And Chapter Three will explore some of the specific techniques that you can use to flesh out your presentation, including stories, metaphor, active language, refrain and Q&A.

  1

  PREPARATION

  WHY WASTE TIME with preparation? Because without preparation, you’re not communicating intentionally—you’re just thinking out loud. That’s fine in a social setting, but if you’re trying to get something done, you need a strategy.

  Sure, there are people out there who roll out of bed in the morning full of brilliant, beautifully formed sentences. They just open their mouths and effortlessly bring clarity and insight to others, all day long.

  But the rest of us mortals have to prepare.

  Before you know what you’re going to say, you need to know why you’re saying it. If you’re in a leadership role, you will touch hundreds of lives every week. In the absence of preparation, you will probably default to talking about what you want to talk about, rather than what the listener needs to know. If you haven’t stopped to think about the needs of your listeners, your return on investment is probably a fraction of your potential. This may or may not be contributing to your reputation and your own personal brand—and you might be doing more harm than good. Chances are that out of the seventy thousand words you use on average in a given week, few of them will land with any real impact—because you have no strategy.

  Think of it like a dinner party. You wouldn’t invite people over for dinner, wait until they arrive, and then fling open the fridge to see what’s inside. If you’re a good host, you take the time to think about your guests: Who’s coming? What’s the occasion? What kind of menu would be appropriate? You’re not there to just cook a meal—you’re there to provide an experience. You design a structure for the evening: How many courses? What kind of wine? How do you end the evening on a high note, with a fabulous dessert? The secret is in the preparation.

  And communication is just the same.

  The diagram below shows the three steps to preparing any engagement:

  1. Outcome.

  2. Relevance.

  3. Point.

  If you’re in a rush to put your presentation together, you may think you don’t have time to prepare. But this preparation process will save you time. Once you’ve mastered the principles involved, the steps will speed you through the development of your talk.

  These three steps are also designed to help you avoid those three common complaints that people make about content: that it’s too long, not relevant to the listener, or has no point. If all you do is take thirty seconds to run through this process in your mind before your next phone call, you will create an immediate transformation in your level of impact.

  Let’s take a closer look at the three steps in the preparation process:

  PREPARATION

  1. Define your outcome. What do you want to achieve?

  2. Find the relevance. Why should they care?

  3. Clarify your point. What’s your message, in one memorable phrase?

  OUTCOME

  What do you want to accomplish? Without this knowledge firmly in mind, you will be tempted to simply give information, or worse—try to dump everything you know on the audience.

  By the end of the speech or conversation, you want something to happen. You need to know what this is, before you begin. If you don’t know what you want, it’s a sure thing that you won’t get it.

  In an effective conversation, there are three possible positive outcomes:

  1. Your listener has an insight that shifts her mind-set. She sees things in a way that she didn’t see them before.

  2. Your listener makes a new decision because of the conversation. The decision may be made in the moment, or the conversation may catalyze a later decision.

  3. Your listener takes an action. She actually does something in your presence: stamps the form, signs the check, says the word “yes.”

  So what do you want? Be specific. Write it down. The clearer you are, the better your chances of achieving it. See it, hear it, quantify it.

  Remember, the test of success is in the behavior of the other person. So always state your outcome in terms of the listener’s behavior: “ By the end of this talk, my listener(s) will understand / decide / take action on . ”

  For example: “By the end of the conversation, Lisa will agree to join the team.” “By the end of the presentation, the board will agree to green-light our project.”

  An ideal outcome is specific. “Gaining greater buy-in from stakeholders” is too general. “By the end of this talk, the board will agree to fund the first phase of our project” is specific. “Talking to my teenager about drugs” is too general. “By the end of this talk, my son will agree to be honest with me about whether or not he’s using drugs” is specific.

  Avoid the following constructions when stating your outcome: “They will understand more about . ” “I will tell them . ” “They will know . ” “They will consider . ” These openers seduce you into vagueness.

  Your outcome should also be achievable, something you can actually do in the time you have to speak. One conversation can’t transform an organization. But one speech can rebuild the spirit of a disenchanted
team. Look for a way that you can make your outcome verifiable. You need to be able to check your progress, and know whether or not you’ve achieved your goal.

  Avoid constructions that begin with “I.” “I want to tell them . ” “I want to share . ” “I want to demonstrate . ” These are tactics, not outcomes. These kinds of statements are all about you, and you’re not the listener. Anyone in a leadership role is in service to his listeners. Make it all about them. And finally, your outcome should be compelling. You need to motivate yourself and your listener with a sense of urgency and passion.

  * * *

  SHANN

  When I was in my junior year of college, I decided that I didn’t want to take the classes that were required for me to fulfill my major. Instead, I flipped through the course catalog and picked out all the anthropology, sociology, drama, English, journalism, and media courses that sounded the most interesting. I wrote up a degree description (called “Cultural Belief in Performance”) that linked all these classes together. Then I went to see the dean of the humanities department.

  “If you will sign this piece of paper, allowing me to take these courses as requirements for my major, I promise to never bother you again. You will never see me. I will never need counseling. This is the last you will ever see of me.”

  “Do you promise?” he said. “I will never see you again?”

  “I swear it,” I said.

  He signed the paper. Two years later I graduated with that list of courses as my own personal degree program. As a result, I’m one of the few people I know who actually use their college degree; I’ve found it useful every day of my working life! I learned something else, as well: if you know exactly what you want, your chances of achieving it go way up.

  * * *

  So, you’ve defined your outcome. You know exactly what you want to happen. Now it’s time to make that outcome become reality. To do this, we’re going to explode out the idea of outcome.

  You want to move the listener from point A to point B. In order for people to make a shift, there are certain things they need to learn from you. This is the basis of your content. Imagine a little drop-down menu underneath your outcome: What three things does the listener need to know in order for you to achieve your outcome?

  Most of us will fall into the trap of making a long list—a litany of things we want to tell the other person. But if you discipline yourself, you can get it down to three things he needs to know. Not seven—not twelve—just three. The discipline of three will ensure that you avoid the number one objection people make about presentations: too much information.

  Now, suppose that you were trying to get a group of people excited and motivated about doing better this year than they did last year—but you don’t have any additional money to offer them. What would they need to know?

  They might need to know the following three things: (1) The timing is perfect for the new product line; (2) They are going to be equipped with additional tools this year; and (3) You are going to be personally available to help them make introductions, see customers, and close deals.

  Great, now you’ve figured out what they need to know. But do people make decisions based strictly on what they know? Of course not.

  Research from the world of neuroscience gives us an insight about how the brain works during the decision-making process. Neurologist Antonio Damasio tells the story of “Elliot,” a successful attorney who underwent surgery on the right side of his brain to remove a tumor. While Elliot was able to function normally in many respects after the surgery, he could no longer make even the simplest decisions. 1

  Damasio’s work was the first to demonstrate that contrary to what you might expect, decisions are made not on the left side of the brain, where we process data and information, but on the right side of the brain, which deals with stories, emotion, color, and humor.

  The implications are staggering.

  It is not enough, to simply offer someone information—because we don’t make decisions based on logic. We make decisions based on the way we feel. If you’re not speaking to the emotional part of the brain, you’re not talking to the decision maker. You may have great data, but if you don’t inspire emotion in the other person, you won’t get results.

  In the words of Alan Weiss, business consulting expert and author, “Logic makes people think, emotion makes them act.” 2

  So, in strategic communication, we add one refinement to the drop-down menu under your outcome: What does the listener need to feel in order for you to achieve your outcome?

  This is a critical part of speaking—and one that is rarely addressed. Identifying the emotional experience that you want for your listener forces you to construct an experience that is directed at producing those emotions.

  Start with your desired result in mind: “What is the final emotion I want my listener to have?” Do you want to leave them feeling hopeful? Welcomed? Excited? Reassured? Inspired? Fed up? Cared for? Determined? Optimistic? Cautious? Write it down.

  Then choose another emotion, one that contrasts with the first. This contrast is important, because monotony comes from sameness. Pavarotti could sing a perfect C-sharp, but if he sang it ceaselessly for sixty seconds, you would want to chew your own ears off. If you want to inspire your listeners, it won’t work to be a relentless cheerleader all the way through your talk. They will tire of your obvious efforts, and it will produce a backlash effect. Like colors, one emotion is strengthened by contrast with another.

  And like a painter with a full palette in front of him, there are many emotions available to you as a speaker. Explanations that offer clarity can produce feelings of reassurance, calm, trust. Cautionary tales can produce a feeling of motivation, particularly if you are warning of impending danger. Don’t back away from the darker emotional tones that come from dangers and threats.

  People are motivated by the desires both to seek pleasure and avoid pain. When you’re influencing decisions, you need to address both ends of this spectrum. You may want your listeners to end up feeling excited, inspired, confident, and reassured. But you also have a responsibility, as a leader, to talk about the threats and risks. If you’re in the lifeguard chair and you see sharks out there, it’s your job to speak up! The leader sees what’s ahead, defines reality, and gives direction. By talking about potential dangers you produce a sense of urgency that can be a powerful motivator. But don’t overuse it; like the boy who cried wolf, if you describe everything as an emergency, your credibility will quickly begin to suffer.

  To understand how this works, let’s look at one of the finest calls to arms ever uttered: Winston Churchill’s first speech as prime minister of Britain on May 13, 1940. In the middle of the speech, he says this: “I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat. We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. Without victory, there is no survival.” Dark colors indeed!

  But Churchill shifts to a very different emotional note at the end. Note the strength of the contrast with his earlier words, which makes his finish even more compelling: “But I take up my task with buoyancy and hope. I feel sure that our cause will not be suffered to fail among men. At this time I feel entitled to claim the aid of all, and I say, ‘Come, then, let us go forward together with our united strength.’”

  “Hang on a minute,” you might be saying. “I’m a numbers guy. Do I really need to mess with this emotional stuff? Aren’t the facts and figures enough?” Well, the bottom line is always important, of course. But data only addresses a part of what informs human behavior. If you want to move your listener to action, you must take the emotional side of his brain into account.

  Then again, you might be thinking, “Hang on, this sounds too complicated. All I need to do is give them some information about our second-quarter results.”

  Sure, you can do that. But if you’ve been asked to update your team, why settle for being just a messenger? Messengers deliv
er information; leaders generate experience. So raise your brand. Create a meaningful experience.

  If we put our newly refined outcome all together on the page, it looks like this:

  Outcome: By the end of this talk, they will decide to/agree to .

  ____________________________________________________________

  ____________________________________________________________

  In order to achieve this, they need to:

  Know:

  1. ____________________________________________________________

  ____________________________________________________________

  2. ____________________________________________________________

  ____________________________________________________________

  3. ____________________________________________________________

  ____________________________________________________________

  Feel:

  1. ____________________________________________________________

  2. ____________________________________________________________

  Now that we’ve created a specific outcome, let’s turn to the relevance of your talk.

  RELEVANCE

  One of the biggest mistakes any speaker can make is to jump straight into giving information without first identifying why anyone should care. If no one cares, then no one’s going to be listening.

  You find the relevance of your talk by simply asking yourself the question: why should the listener care? What’s in it for them? This accomplishes three important things:

  1. It makes the listener sit up and pay attention.

  2. It immediately demonstrates to the listener that you have his best interest at heart.

  3. It avoids the complaint: “Not relevant to me!”

  Give yourself three good, solid reasons why the listener should care about what you have to say. What’s at stake for them? What could be gained, what could be lost? Why does it matter? We sum all these questions up with this shorthand: “Where’s the heat?”