Forever: A Lobster Kind Of Love Read online

  “I was hoping you would join me. I got a little carried away. I made way too much just for me. I hadn’t made it in a few years.”

  Ethel turned back toward her kitchen and I followed like a moth to the flame. I was ruined for plain Kraft dinner forever. This woman was going to fatten me up for sure. I really did enjoy her company. After I joined her for dinner, all I could say was Lobster Mac & Cheese was my new favorite food. Ethel then asked what I had planned for the weekend.

  “Tomorrow I have to check in with my nursing agency, then Sunday I thought I would do some exploring around Eastport.”

  “Well, maybe I can join you, dear. I don’t get out nearly enough.”

  “Of course, you can. I couldn’t think of a better tour guide.” We finished with some coffee, pastry, and more conversation.

  “I haven’t been into town much since I buried my Harry. Al from the Rose Garden calls me almost every day. He is a sweet man. He sends his son Sam to deliver groceries weekly.”

  “That’s great, Ethel. Al has been so sweet to me. When my husband and I visited, they talked for hours about fishing. They stayed close after we went back home. I reached out to him first when I considered leaving Pennsylvania.”

  “I grew up here. So did Al and his family. This is a small town, dear. You are family now.”

  In the last two days, Ethel shed a new light on things. I knew I’d come to Eastport for a new start, and in that moment, I felt it. I turned to Ethel and wrapped my arms around her small body in a tight hug.

  “I would love your company on Sunday. Sam doesn’t have to deliver groceries this week.”

  I retreated to my apartment after Ethel refused my assistance cleaning up again. I looked to the stack of totes filled with my life. I really wanted to tackle some of this before I started working on Monday.

  Deep breaths. You can do this. I realized I hadn’t taken any Xanax all day and that made two days in a row. I was trying not to take them unless I absolutely needed them. I wanted to wean myself off the damn medication, but this was the box filled with our family stuff.

  I palmed Braxton’s first stiff white walking shoes as I sifted through countless collaged frames of family pictures, Braxton’s baby book, and my wedding album. If I hung these up Ethel would surely ask questions. I still wore my wedding rings, but if she’d noticed, she hadn’t mentioned it. Tears started to flow as I flipped through our wedding album.

  It had been a warm September Indian summer day in Pennsylvania. Over 200 people packed our small church for the ceremony and then danced until dawn in a kick-ass reception at the Knights of Columbus. Mason and I were so in love, complete opposites, but complemented each other like puzzles pieces.

  We were supposed to raise Braxton, grow old together, and retire, but the accident took all that away from me. I sat on the floor surrounded by the memories of my boys; I was not ready to deal with this. So I packed up everything back into its box and placed it in the bottom of my bedroom closet.

  I wanted a cigarette, badly. I hadn’t bought another pack after I’d relinquished my open pack to Ethel. I settled for some Mini Peanut Butter Oreos, grabbed a bottle of water, and headed to bed. It was after 11 and I was a hot mess. I was going to try to sleep this off. I would try unpacking again tomorrow after I got back from the office.

  Ryan

  I actually enjoyed online shopping. Like clockwork, the UPS guy showed up with my goods. He be-bopped up the ramp with my treasures. I was so thirsty. I could reach the little half bath sink off the living room, but I could only gather half a handful of water at a time without totally making a wet mess of myself.

  The red Solo cup left over from yesterday’s drink had served the remainder of its life as a urinal. Even though I could have washed it, I couldn’t bring myself to drink from it.

  The case of spring water on his hand truck was like an oasis in the desert. I felt like a kid at Christmas. As he reached my door, I opened it.

  “Hey man, I am so glad to see you!”

  “Good deal. Just sign here.” He handed me the electronic clipboard, and I scrawled my name across the screen with the cap of his pen.

  “Where do you want this stuff?” he asked.

  “If you could please put it on the dining room table, I would appreciate it,” I said as I rolled back and out of his way. He stacked the water and other items on the table.

  “Later, man. Enjoy,” he called back as he closed the door behind himself.

  I tore into the case of water first and downed one bottle of water, then opened another and took a long pull.

  After I had my fill, I ripped into the box and pulled out my purchases, all except the phone. I pulled out my laptop, pulled up my order, then saw that the phone was coming Monday.

  Dammit, one more day alone. Oreos and peanut butter crackers it is.

  After eating an entire sleeve of Oreos, periodically dipping them in peanut butter, I pulled out the baby wipes tub and washed up as best I could. I really wanted a shower. This was frustrating. So close and yet so far. My shower and tub was an en suite off my bedroom, but I just couldn’t get through the door.

  The wheelchair delivered to the house was standard issue with a heavy Tempur-Pedic foam seat. I contemplated crawling there, but I had no idea what I was going to do once I got there. I had no rails, safety pulls, or bathing bench. The nurse was supposed to take care of all that. So, I stayed in my chair or transferred to the couch and just got comfy. What was the use of dragging myself along the floor only to not be able to get up on the toilet or reach the faucets and such?

  I have never been so bored in my life. Dougie and the guys were all out fishing, where I wanted to be. I sent Dougie an email explaining the situation here, but I doubted he would receive it until he got back to shore. All my friends were out on the water. Sure, I knew plenty of people in town, but I usually just called them. I had no idea what their email addresses were and my damn phone was in the bedroom.

  I flipped through the channels a few hundred times before finally settling in on a marathon of The Walking Dead. I could totally be a zombie. I could drag myself along the floor and tear my clothes up. All I needed was the makeup job; even my belly growls would be real. A man cannot live on Oreos and peanut butter alone, but I was going to try. I felt like the kid from the Home Alone movies, eating junk food, overdosing on TV, except that kid at least took a shower.

  Lydia

  Saturday

  My goal of the day: get my assignment for my new client. I woke up this morning bright and early and chose my favorite scrubs to wear for my meeting. I wasn’t sure if I had to wear scrubs, but scrubs were pretty much the bulk of my wardrobe.

  Ethel stopped by before I left and offered up breakfast.

  “Thanks Ethel, but I have to head out this morning to pick up my new client’s case file.”

  “Oh, that’s great; you are falling right into the swing of things. I will help you get set up if you need help later. Then, we can enjoy our plans and the Maine lifestyle on Sunday.”

  “You bet, Ethel, we have a date. I’m headed to the office in a bit.” She gave me a quick hug and headed back to her home.

  I had a 45-minute ride to the office. Home Angel Alliance’s corporate offices were located just on the outside of Calais, not far from the Wal-Mart. I double-checked that I had everything I needed related to my transfer: my new Maine driver’s license, Social Security card, copies of my background checks, and my resume. My Pennsylvania office had sent almost everything to them, supposedly, but I took copies just in case.

  After I signed on with this client, there was no turning back. I would be a Maine resident. This was just another step toward me living again. I looked at my left hand and fiddled with my wedding band. Was I considered still married as a widow? I hadn’t asked for it to be over. Would it be wrong to take them off? The more I thought about it, I didn’t want to open myself up to questions about Mason. I didn’t want to lose my shit in front of anyone. Mason would want me to be h
appy, right? I chose to move forward. After my mental debate and some gentle tugging, I removed my rings, threaded them onto my necklace, and tucked them into my shirt. I grabbed my purse, my cell, and headed out the door to my future.

  Why did they put these corporate offices in the middle of nowhere? I kept following my GPS, and it said I had another fifteen minutes to go. My mind always wandered when I drove, or cooked, well anytime really. I laughed at myself, how the hell did I ever make it to Maine from Pennsylvania? It was a miracle I didn’t end up in Mexico. I really had no sense of direction. Thank goodness for GPS or I would be screwed. Mason used to pick on me and make fun of me about it all the time.

  After I finally located the corporate office, I approached slowly. My heart rate picked up speed and I could hear it beating in my ears. I took a few deep breaths to stop the thunder of my heartbeat filling my head and parked my SUV.

  As my anxiety threatened to consume me, I tried to calm myself while I pondered the source of my nervousness. I loved being a home care nurse; it was so different from the hospital setting. I was a good nurse. I told myself as the thumping of blood in my ears started to wane. I had three cases I’d left behind in Pennsylvania. I had been with each of them for four years; they were like my extended family. It had been hard for me to leave my patients, but it just wasn’t enough the make me stay in Nazareth. Everything else, from the traffic lights to the supermarket to the local bar, just broke my heart and hurt my spirit every day.

  I’d managed to make it through yesterday without a cigarette, and I’d left my Xanax at home today. I took a few more deep breaths to keep my anxiety at bay. I had been fine on the way here, but now in the parking lot, shit had just gotten real.

  As I walked into the office, I paused for a moment to catch my breath one last time, and then approached the reception desk.

  “Hi I’m Lydia Dacanay. I am here to meet Adrienne Smith. I have a ten o’clock appointment.”

  The receptionist, Sandy, looked up from her Sudoku and smiled brightly. “Yes, Lydia, so nice to meet you. Have a seat. Adrienne will be right with you. She is just finishing up a call. Can I get you anything?”

  “No, I’m good, thanks.” I took a seat and gazed around the reception area. They had a board with endless pictures of nurses with their clients and I glanced over it while I waited.

  The intercom chimed, and the receptionist popped her head up. “Adrienne is ready for you now. Go on ahead, it’s the second door on the right,” as she pointed down the corridor.

  The door was open as I approached it and Adrienne walked from behind her paper-filled desk to meet me halfway and shook my hand. “Lydia, it’s so nice to finally meet you. How was your drive?”

  “Nice to meet you, too. I got in a couple of days ago.”

  She led me over to her desk and motioned to the chair in front of it. “Good! So are you settling in okay? Have you had a chance to look around yet?”

  “I came up yesterday for some shopping and my landlady is giving me the grand tour of Eastport tomorrow.”

  “That’s great! Eastport is wonderful. I’m sure you will love it there. Okay, first let’s go over all the fun paperwork.” She said with a hint of a smile. “Your office in Pennsylvania spoke very highly of you and they were very upset to see one of their best nurses go.”

  “Yeah, well…” I started and Adrienne waved her hands in front of her stopping me. “Lydia, there is no need to explain. I’m just grateful you are on our team. So welcome!”

  “Thank you for having me. I had no idea Home Angel Alliance had so many offices, but I’ve never really worked or lived outside of Nazareth before.”

  She continued to shuffle papers and pulled out form after form as she talked to me. “Oh yeah, we are nationwide, the fourth largest visiting nursing agency in the country. Okay, so you have a lot of pediatric nursing experience. As of right now, we have no pediatric cases available close to you or even within two hours drive of Eastport, but we have a new young adult case that needs service starting Monday right in Eastport.”

  “Well, that would be great, right in town? The less driving the better, less opportunity for me to get lost!”

  She looked up and smiled. “You, too?” she said with a smile.

  “I will take it. What info do you have for me?”

  “Okay, I will tell you what I know. It’s a brand new case. Have you ever done intakes before?”

  “Yes, I have done a few. My last couple of clients I’d had almost five years. It’s been a while, but I have done them.”

  “Eh, it’s just paperwork. Like I said, it’s a new case, and he just has to sign the intake forms when you meet him on Monday. The rehab center that is discharging him sent over his patient profile. This office covers all of Maine, so we just don’t have the manpower to have an intake nurse, so our nurses do the intake assessments as well.”

  She handed me a small packet of papers.

  “Here, look these over. I’m going to go grab a coffee. Would you like one?”

  I nodded.

  “Okay, great. I’ll also get your name badge laminated and I’ll be back in a few minutes. We can always call the rehab center if we need more information, but when I reviewed it, it seemed pretty straightforward.” Adrienne grabbed what she’d printed off and disappeared down the hall leaving me with the patient file.

  Opening it, I crossed my legs and began reading.

  Patient: Ryan Gannon

  Age: 34

  History: Boating accident, Bangor General x 3 months, Woodhaven Rehab PT/OT x 9 months

  Recommendation: 10 hour in home care x 7 days, OT prn x 30 days

  This guy is just 3 years older than I am. Holy crap!

  Height: 5’10” Weight: 167 lbs.

  Dx: Paraplegia

  I wonder if he has a Hoyer lift? Is he bedridden?

  ADLs: Assistance with bathing and dressing. Limited range of motion to bilateral lower extremities.

  I was so used to taking care of children. They were small and easy to carry. I hoped I could handle this.

  Mental Status: Alert and Oriented x3

  Cool, at least we can hold a conversation.

  His list of medications is minimal, just vitamin supplements, B12 shot, Clonidine, Dulcolax suppository every other day, and straight catheterization every 12 hours.

  Adrienne came back into her office with two coffees, an arm full of papers, and a lanyard hanging from her wrist. She handed me a cup of coffee and dumped the rest of her load onto her already overflowing desk. “So, what do you think?”

  “It looks like an easy enough case. Are the supplies all there? Is there any family involvement? I’m used to dealing with kids, so this is all new to me. I haven’t had an adult patient in a long time.”

  “We have a large supply room here. We haven’t been out there yet. As far as I know, he is a single man, no children, and lives alone. So, will you take the case?” Adrienne asked.

  “Sure, yeah, of course I will take the case. I have no issues there. I just want to make sure I am prepared when I get to the house.”

  Adrienne reached across the desk and placed her hands over mine on top of the file. “Lydia, I will be sure you have everything you could possibly need. We have a stock room here. Take all you think you might need and when you get there, if you need more or something different, just give us a call and we will send it over to you.”

  “Okay and what about nursing notes? Do I have to come back here every week or two weeks?”

  “Oh no, we have nurses all over the state that call this office their base. We do everything electronically. You can either scan and email the notes or fax them over. The hard copies stay at the patient’s home for your relief nurse. You will be primary on the case. Going forward, we will be sending other nurses to orient with you on the case for back-up.”

  I tried to think if I was missing anything. “How many hours of service does he get?”

  Adrienne clicked around on her computer a bit before resp
onding. “Right now we have full reign. He is a paraplegic, so he is eligible for unlimited one-on-one care. We are approving you for ten hours per day, five days a week. Let us know if he needs more. We have a relief nurse assigned for the weekends so you can have time off. So essentially, you have ten hours of overtime built in to your salary per week.”

  “I can deal with that.”

  “Your patient is alert and oriented. Talk to him and work out your schedule. We will leave that up to you two to work out. Just as long as the time sheet adds up to fifty hours at week’s end, it’s all good. Please, any issues or questions, don’t hesitate to call me.” Adrienne stood up and came around her desk to shake my hand once more.

  “Welcome to the team. Sandra at the front desk will show you our supply room. Take whatever you need, okay?”

  “Thanks Adrienne. See you soon.” I grabbed the patient file and went out to find Sandra. She was at her desk still pondering the Sudoku puzzle ripped off her 365 days of Sudoku desk calendar.

  “Hey, Sandra.”

  Her head popped up and her smile was back full force. “All done, hun?”

  “Yes ma’am. Adrienne said you would show me where the supply room was so I could stock up for Monday.”

  “Oh, sure. Let me just grab the keys and I will take you down there.” She pulled open her side drawer revealing a mixture of brightly colored pens, trinkets, fuzzy topped trolls, and protein bars. Sandra dug around for the keys in question finally pulling out a lanyard with a clump of key chains from various attractions and places travelled. “Found them!”