Forever: A Lobster Kind Of Love Read online

  I looked at Ethel with gratitude. “Thank you.” I felt this amazing connection with Ethel already. She was like an adopted grandmother; I’d never had living grandparents growing up. They’d died long ago when I was an infant.

  Sitting at the table with Ethel, the food in front of me looked and smelled amazing. She beamed from ear to ear. I caught her looking at me as I gazed into my plate. “Lydia, don’t be shy. Just dig in and eat. It looks like you could use a good meal. Just wait until you taste fresh Maine lobster. You will want it every day. If it were any fresher, it would still be crawling.”

  I smiled at her words, then, as I took a bite of my lobster roll, I had to refrain from moaning out loud. It was like a food orgasm in my mouth, and I savored each delectable chew. I smiled with a mouthful and I managed to say, “Oh my God, this is amazing!”

  Ethel just shook her head at me. “Honey, that is nothing. That’s just a sandwich! I just threw that together quick. I figured you would be hungry after your long drive getting here.”

  After we finished our sandwiches, Ethel took the small plates away to the sink and refused to allow me to help clean up. She brought over two steaming cups of coffee and sat back down dropping two sugar cubes from the bowl into her own cup.

  “So, what brings you to Maine, Lydia, especially Eastport of all places? Most people don’t pick here to move, they stay downstate, near Portland or Bangor.”

  I looked at Ethel, this angel in disguise, who didn’t know me and had just opened up her home for me to start over. I couldn’t stop myself. The tears started flowing.

  “Oh Lydia, I am so sorry, honey. You don’t need to tell me today. When you’re ready, just know I am here for you and pass no judgments. Whatever it is, you got it bottled up inside there real tight, and I know it needs to come out.”

  I wiped my eyes with the neckband of my t-shirt and looked into Ethel’s pleading eyes. “I will tell you my story one day. Just not today, okay?” Ethel nodded. I don’t want to re-live it again. It was bad enough it was on replay in my head every time I closed my eyes. I swallowed back a sob. “Thank you for understanding.”

  She grabbed my hands in hers. “Dear, I know all about moving on. Whenever you want to talk, I will be right here. I promise to be your shoulder to cry on or your spine to hold you up and give you strength. You are not alone, sweetheart, not anymore.”

  She lightly rested her hand on my shoulder, “Lydia, let’s get you settled for the night. You must be exhausted. Let me show you your new home.”

  Ethel opened up a door leading to a mudroom. We walked through it and into the apartment that would become my new home. I looked around and thought it was just perfect for me.

  From the living room windows that faced the water, the landscape of the bay was visible and it was breathtaking. The sun was finishing its descent, sending amber and orange shimmers along the water as the lighthouse lit the way home. Fishing boats and a few speedboats were docked at the pier.

  The living space was an all-nautical theme, how appropriate. Off to the left sat a small eat-in kitchen…Ethel’s voice interrupted my awe, “Did you hear me, hun?”

  I snapped my head to locate the sound of her voice. “I’m sorry; I was just taking in the view here.”

  She laughed and proceeded to tell me, “No one has been in this apartment for over two years. My Harry was a fisherman. We used to rent this out to some of the guys that worked on the boat with him for a few weeks to a few months at a time. When my Harry passed, I just couldn’t rent it out to the guys anymore. I locked the apartment up and had not come back in until two months ago. When I received the call about you, I opened it up, gave it a nice coat of paint, and freshened it up just for you. Thank you for coming. I hope you enjoy it here.”

  Ethel gave me a hug, and I didn’t know what to say to all that, so I just hugged her back as she patted my back a lightly. “Okay, enough of these sob stories! I stocked the kitchen up with some basic essentials and such, just to get you started.”

  My new landlady showed me around the rest of the apartment and opened the door to the bathroom. “Sorry it’s small, and only a shower stall, but I put some shampoo and body wash in there. There are also some clean towels in the linen closet right there next to the sink. I wasn’t sure what you’d brought with you and I’m sure you will want a hot shower to unwind right away.”

  The last door opened to the master bedroom. My eyes went wide when I saw the big king sized bed with floral printed bedding, fresh flowers on the antique dresser, and a view of the water. I wasn’t sure I would want to get out of bed waking up to such a spectacular view every day, except maybe to go into the living room for a better one. I couldn’t believe she had done all this for me. There was no way some big burly fishermen had slept on flower petal sheets with rose-colored walls.

  I turned to Ethel as she stood by the door wringing her hands, and I smiled.

  “Thank you. Thank you for all this. Surely, I have to give you more money for all you have done.”

  Holding me by my shoulders, she shook her head, “Lydia, $500 is more than sufficient. You can use the washer and dryer in the mudroom and I expect you to come see this old lady for coffee or breakfast or dinner or just to talk. Now go get some of your stuff out your car and rest. I left the Wi-Fi passcode on the kitchen counter for you. My Harry had those new fiber optic cable lines put in out here so we could watch his sports when he was home. There is also a house phone number. I don’t know what cell service you have, but some are hard to get out here sometimes, so you can forward your calls when you are home and save yourself the heartache.”

  This woman had me amazed with her kindness. I still couldn’t believe I was here. Maybe Tiny had been good luck after all. I was going to have to find a moose charity and donate or something.

  “Tomorrow morning, I will have coffee ready and I will fill you in on everything else. Tonight sweetie, get some sleep. See you in the morning.” Ethel pulled the apartment door gently closed behind her as she went back into her part of the house.

  I made my way out to my car and grabbed two bags, the two most important ones. One had my laptop, and the other was my overnight duffle bag with my toiletries, pills, pajamas, and my boys inside.

  As I set my bags down on the couch and pulled out my laptop, I realized I hadn’t checked in with anyone since I had arrived. I knew I’d better send them a text and post something or people would begin to think I had run off with a moose since that was my last update.

  I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Tonya’s number. A screen popped up, International Rates apply-Click OK to continue.

  “What the hell?” Damn, I would need to figure that out tomorrow. I grabbed the landline cordless phone off the kitchen counter and searched it for the call button. I hadn’t used one of these in a long time.

  Finally locating it, I dialed Tonya, and she picked up sounding unsure. “Hello?”

  “Hey, it’s me, Lydia.”

  She squealed in my ear and then started screeching at me. “You were supposed to call me five hours ago woman! You are making me crazy. I called you, texted you, I was about ready to get in the car with Jill and go to find your ass if I didn’t hear from you soon!” I reassured Tonya I was fine, told her all about my new apartment and my new amazing landlady, Ethel. “I am so happy for you Lydia. When do you start the new job?”

  “I’ve got a couple days to get settled, but I have to go to the office and check in, sign papers, and all that. My phone thinks I’ve left the country, so I have to sort that out, too.” I promised to keep her updated and asked her to fill Jill in for me. I fired up my laptop and logged onto my Facebook page. I had 200+ notifications. I ignored them for now and just updated my status.

  “Arrived in Eastport, hot shower, warm bed, and amazing view…Home Sweet Home. Good night.”

  I closed my laptop and headed to my hot shower, warm bed, and peaceful sleep, exactly in that order.

  The morning sun shone in through my bedroom windo
w, pulling me from my sleep. No nightmares, no dreams, just sleep. I was amazed.

  I turned over in my bed and looked out the window. I was in awe of the view. As I looked out at the boats on the water, the blue sky and big fluffy cotton ball clouds urged me get moving and go enjoy the sunshine.

  I got out of bed, brushed my teeth, changed into a comfy tee shirt and yoga pants, and started a pot of coffee. God Bless Ethel for the groceries; she has been a godsend. I walked out onto the rear porch and lit a cigarette.

  Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Glancing up, I found Ethel.

  “My Harry used to smoke a pack a day. Then emphysema hit him hard. He was a stubborn old goat and never quit. I yelled at him all the time and told him how it would kill him. Eventually, throat cancer took him from me. He smoked all the way to the end. I’m not lecturing you, but you know it doesn’t end well.”

  I looked at my cigarette then looked at Ethel, and I couldn’t even bear to take the last drag. I stomped out my cigarette and picked up the butt. “So sorry about Harry. You’re right though; I do need to quit. New beginnings, right?” I put the butt in the half-full pack along with my lighter and handed the lot to her. She put it in the pocket of her cardigan without debate.

  “Come on inside, dear. Coffee is ready. Let’s have some breakfast. I’m sure you have a list of things to do before you start your new job. I can help you and tell you about town and where to go, but first, let’s eat.” Her smile beamed back at me.

  “I will be right in. Give me like twenty minutes?” She agreed with a nod and went inside her apartment.

  Back inside my new home, it was still sinking in that I was in Eastport. I’d just packed up everything I had and moved here.

  Deep breaths. I can do this. I just needed to keep reminding myself of that. I grabbed my purse, my list of things to do, and my cell phone. Hell, my phone didn’t even work here; I was going to have to sort that out first.

  I looked at the dresser and something was missing. Then, it hit me: Oh my God, the urn! Where are they?

  I ran toward my bedroom and headed to my duffel bag. Feverishly, I unzipped it and cast all the clothes to the floor. My fingers lightly touched the cool metal of the urn that held my boys.

  Breathing a sigh of relief, I gently placed them on the dresser. I kissed my fingertips and touched the sides of it.

  I would be strong.

  Keep sending me signs to remind me. I missed my boys. A part of me felt surprised I left them in the duffel bag all night. The other part…well I’m not sure yet.

  I gathered all I needed, my cell phone, car keys, and my purse, and got moving. I still had to unpack the car and Ethel was waiting for me to join her for breakfast. I turned off my coffee pot and stuck the carafe in the fridge. Ethel had made some coffee, so I’d save it for iced coffee later.

  I crossed the mudroom and knocked on the adjoining door to Ethel’s home. Ethel answered the door smiling, “Honey, you never need to knock to enter. I am just happy to have someone around again. Come on in. Breakfast is just about ready.”

  I sat down at the kitchen table with Ethel to a feast. She had made fluffy scrambled eggs, hash browns, and link sausage.

  As I shoveled the soft eggs into my mouth and they melted on my tongue, I asked, “Are you trying to fatten me up? Between these two meals, I think you have a plan.”

  “Let’s just say I enjoy cooking for someone again. Let’s go over your list of things you need to do so I can point you in the right direction.” After we finished eating, I chatted with Ethel for nearly an hour. I established that the closest Wal-Mart was 45 minutes away in Calais.

  Basically, any big name store was over an hour’s drive away. The nearest mall was actually in Canada. How crazy it was to need a passport to go shopping.

  Ethel went on to say if I was going to the mall, I might as well visit Perry and go blueberry picking, too.

  Ethel rambled on about all there was to do in the neighboring towns, and my head began to spin. One step at a time. First, I needed to empty out the rest of my car and get my life back in some sort of order.

  So much for big stores, I guess I would just explore around Calais. Toothpaste and Oreos shouldn’t be too hard to find.

  I tried to help Ethel clean up, but she shooed me away again. So I emptied my car of the totes and boxes and carried the rest of my memories and possessions inside before I headed off to explore.

  Ryan

  Friday

  When I left rehab, they told me I would have a home care nurse that would come to the house and help. It was already noon, and no one had arrived yet. I didn’t think the nurse was coming if they weren’t here by now. Dougie, that smart ass, ordered Meals on Wheels for me before he left for a week on the water. They were at the door at 9:00 in the morning. I had to thank him for that though because I didn’t have anything else to eat. I’d discovered late last night that my wheelchair didn’t fit through any of the doorways in my house.

  Of course, I made this observation after the EMTs and Dougie left, so I slept on the couch. At least my sectional was comfortable, and I had afghans thrown over the back so I didn’t freeze. So close to the bay, even in the summer, it would get cool at night.

  Thank you, Dougie, at least he’d thought enough to have my cable and internet turned back on. Too bad, I couldn’t get to my cell phone. The EMT’s were nice enough to put my bags from Rehab in my bedroom and now, I couldn’t get in there. I couldn’t even order pizza. I had a full cable package, which included a home phone, but I’d never bothered having a house phone since I was never home. The service existed, but I didn’t have a landline phone. So online shopping it was! Amazon was the only place I had ordered anything from recently, so they were the only site that had my credit card on file.

  I couldn’t cook anything since it was impossible to get into the kitchen. I pulled up Amazon on my laptop and looked for items that offered Prime delivery. I ordered pantry stuff, including some Oreos, a case of water, peanut butter, crackers, then ordered batteries, a new house phone, and some baby wipes. I opted for the overnight delivery option so it would get here tomorrow.

  I had these Meals on Wheels to hold me over until tomorrow, because without refrigeration, they wouldn’t be any good after sitting out all day and night.

  I wondered when the nurse would come. I didn’t even know whom they were sending and I couldn’t get to my cell phone to check. I settled in on the couch to watch some TV since I had nothing else to do. I missed rehab. At least there, I’d had people around.

  Lydia

  Friday

  I set my GPS for Calais and ventured out to get some shopping done. This was my first full day as a Maine resident. I reached for my cigarettes then realized I’d given them to Ethel.

  Instead, I dug around the console in search of something, anything, and came up with a purple Tootsie Roll Pop. I unwrapped the lollipop and stuck it in my mouth. Not exactly a cigarette, but it would have to do.

  I drove through the town of Eastport and looked at all the old style buildings, the pier, and small shops with odd names. Mentally, I catalogued these names and made plans to explore all their secret treasures.

  When Mason and I visited a couple of years ago, we stayed in a cottage in Perry. I thought back to how amazing that was when we’d just enjoyed each other. Things were so different back then, Braxton was an infant, we were not online all the time, and we were able to enjoy the outdoors.

  Mason and I had talked about moving here, but we never had. Now, I was here by myself, hoping they were watching over me, and protecting me during this major change.

  Then suddenly everything changed, and I squealed. “Oh my God, YES! It’s a Dunkin Donuts.”

  It had taken me 45 minutes to get here, but I would get some Iced Coffee right now. Next, I pulled into the Wal-Mart lot, grabbed a cart, and strolled happily inside with my drink.

  This Wal-Mart was pretty classy. I had not witnessed anyone in pajamas yet, but then again it was earl
y afternoon. The crazies usually came out later on in the evening.

  I loved one-stop shopping. I upgraded my phone service to an international super service plan since apparently the towers I was hitting were actually in Canada. Being so close to Canada, it made sense and I would eventually check out the mall that Ethel had told me about.

  Clearing the shelf of the last 2 jars Organic Peanut Butter, I filled my cart with protein bars, some iced tea, TV dinners, and splurged on some new scrubs. This was the first time I had bought anything for myself in six months. I hated using the money in my account.

  Two life insurance policies had paid out; I put those into a savings account. The settlement from the trucking company was also deposited monthly. Personally, I felt like it was blood money. They were paying me off for killing my boys. They even paid for the funeral anonymously; who else would it have been. I didn’t want to touch a dime of that money. Maybe one day I would figure out what to do with it.

  The nursing agency I signed on with, Home Angel Alliance, was just up the road from the Dunkin Donuts. It seemed everything I needed was in Calais, including Department of Motor Vehicles to transfer my license and plates.

  Soon, I would retreat to my new home and relax. I actually had a pretty good day out by myself. I needed some retail therapy to clear my head and find out where things were as well. Maybe I would do that tomorrow, check out more of the town. Tomorrow, I needed to go to the office and check in.

  As I arrived at home and unloaded my purchases, Ethel knocked on my door. I opened the door and Ethel stood on the other side with a steaming spoon in her hand.

  “Hello, dear. I thought I heard you come in. I just made dinner if you didn’t eat. It’s Lobster Macaroni and Cheese. Here, try some.” She lifted the serving spoon to my lips, and I had a taste. I never had lobster and Macaroni & Cheese, together. It was either Kraft dinner or Red Lobster, but not both together. The gooey cheese coated my tongue, and I chewed the firm al dente macaroni as the soft lobster melted in my mouth. Usually, lobster I had before was tough and kind of rubbery. This lobster was so tender; I couldn’t help but moan as it waged a war with my mouth over swallowing.