Did You Read That Review?: A Compilation of Amazon's Funniest Reviews

Do you know the pros and cons of owning a Badonkadonk Land Cruiser? Amazon customers do—along with what they think of the Yodeling Pickle, the 3-Carat Diamond Pacifier, and over 100 other items. Witty and unexpected, this collection of customer reviews is sure to show you a new, hilarious, and completely candid side of Amazon products and reviews you never knew existed.
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Dying to Be Murdererd

Mary Ashton is convinced someone is going to murder her, and that there’s nothing she can do to stop it. But what she can do is hire unpublished mystery writer Jennifer Marsh to record her final days, so her killer won’t get away with it. Mary may seem a little loony, but she’s one of Macon’s leading socialites, or at least she was until the competency hearing. AND she’s offering Jennifer $1,000 a week to stay in her home, the historic Ashton mansion, reputed to be haunted by a Civil War heroine. The money’s too good to turn down, especially for a starving writer, so Jennifer agrees. And what’s the harm? Why would anyone want Mary Ashton dead? But the first night at the mansion, Jennifer’s awakened by blood curdling screams coming from Mary’s room, which is directly beneath her own. Trapped in her room, Jennifer is helpless. When she finally escapes, she finds a blood-soaked bed straight out of a horror movie but no sign of Mary’s body. Old family secrets and grudges, mysterious deaths, and ghostly lights that move about the mansion lead to a mystery fraught with danger and intrigue. Jennifer’s writers’ group offers their usual comic relief as they continue their journey toward getting published. Jennifer’s sarcastic reporter boyfriend Sam is there to lend his assistance as well. And, of course, so is her greyhound Muffy.
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The True American: Murder and Mercy in Texas

RetailImagine that a terrorist tried to kill you. If you could face him again, on your terms, what would you do?The True American tells the story of Raisuddin Bhuiyan, a Bangladesh Air Force officer who dreams of immigrating to America and working in technology. But days after 9/11, an avowed "American terrorist" named Mark Stroman, seeking revenge, walks into the Dallas minimart where Bhuiyan has found temporary work and shoots him, maiming and nearly killing him. Two other victims, at other gas stations, aren’t so lucky, dying at once. The True American traces the making of these two men, Stroman and Bhuiyan, and of their fateful encounter. It follows them as they rebuild shattered lives—one striving on Death Row to become a better man, the other to heal and pull himself up from the lowest rung on the ladder of an unfamiliar country.Ten years after the shooting, an Islamic pilgrimage seeds in Bhuiyan a strange idea: if he is ever to be whole, he must reenter Stroman's life. He longs to confront Stroman and speak to him face to face about the attack that changed their lives. Bhuiyan publicly forgives Stroman, in the name of his religion and its notion of mercy. Then he wages a legal and public-relations campaign, against the State of Texas and Governor Rick Perry, to have his attacker spared from the death penalty.Ranging from Texas's juvenile justice system to the swirling crowd of pilgrims at the Hajj in Mecca; from a biker bar to an immigrant mosque in Dallas; from young military cadets in Bangladesh to elite paratroopers in Israel; from a wealthy household of chicken importers in Karachi, Pakistan, to the sober residences of Brownwood, Texas, The True American is a rich, colorful, profoundly moving exploration of the American dream in its many dimensions. Ultimately it tells a story about our love-hate relationship with immigrants, about the encounter of Islam and the West, about how—or whether—we choose what we become.**Review“Remarkable…a richly detailed, affecting account…Giridharadas seeks less to uplift than illuminate…Which of these men is the "true American" of the title? That there is no simple answer to that question is Giridharadas's finest accomplishment.” (Ayad Akhtar - New York Times Book Review) “This is an enthralling real-life tale of murder and forgiveness and what it means to be an American. Brilliantly reported and powerfully told, this Texas drama personalizes the ethnic diversity that has always been the source of our nation's strength and many of its tensions. It's also a breathtaking account of how a crazed murderer came to know a Muslim immigrant he tried to kill.” (Walter Isaacson, author of Steve Jobs) “Exhilarating and deeply affecting, Giridharadas’s book is not only a captivating narrative; it reminds us of the immigrant’s journey at the heart of the American story and how, in the wake of violent tragedy, one new to our country can help us to see through to the best in ourselves, even when the law requires far less.” (Henry Louis Gates, Jr., Alphonse Fletcher University Professor, Harvard University) “Anand Giridharadas has written a book that is simply impossible to put down. Just when we thought that we had read everything we could possibly absorb about 9/11, The True American finds a new and compelling perspective, one that explores two sharply opposed dimensions of the American experience in a style that neither celebrates nor condemns. We readers become the jury, weighing what it means to be a true American today.” (Anne-Marie Slaughter, president and CEO of the New America Foundation) “Competing visions of the American Dream clash in this rich account of a hate crime and its unlikely reverberations….Giridharadas’ s evocative reportage captures the starkly contrasting, but complementary struggles of these men with sympathy and insight, setting them in a Texas landscape of strip malls and gas stations that is at once a moonscape of social anomie and a welcoming blank slate for a newcomer seeking to assimilate. The result is a classic story of arrival with a fresh and absorbing twist.” (Publishers Weekly (Starred Review)) “An unforgettable story about two men caught in the jaws of history. In this compassionate, tenacious, and deeply intelligent book, Giridharadas casts brilliant new illumination on what we mean by ‘American.’” (Teju Cole, author of Open City) “Meticulously reconstructs two lives that collided in horrific fashion… A compelling, nuanced look at the shifting, volatile meaning of American identity In the post-9/11 era.” (Kirkus Reviews) “Eloquent… From murder to execution, forgiveness, personal responsibility, governmental intervention and more, there are enough dichotomies here to fuel heated book-club discussions for years.” (Booklist) About the AuthorAnand Giridharadas writes the Admit One column for the New York Times's arts pages and the Currents column for its global edition. He is the author of India Calling: An Intimate Portrait of A Nation's Remaking. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.
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Trojan Odyssey dp-17

Long hailed as the grand master of adventure fiction, Clive Cussler has continued to astound with the intricate plotting and astonishing set pieces of his novels. Now, with a surprising twist, he gives us his most audacious work yet. In the final pages of *Valhalla Rising*, Dirk Pitt discovered, to his shock, that he had two grown children he had never known-twenty-three-year-old fraternal twins born to a woman he thought had died in an underwater earthquake. Both have inherited his love of the sea: the girl, Summer, is a marine biologist; the boy, himself named Dirk, is a marine engineer. And now they are about to help their father in the adventure of a lifetime. There is a brown tide infesting the ocean off the shore of Nicaragua. The twins are working in a NUMA(r) underwater enclosure, trying to determine its origin, when two startling things happen: Summer discovers an artifact, something strange and beautiful and ancient; and the worst storm in years boils up out of the sky, heading straight not only for them but also for a luxurious floating resort hotel square in its path. The peril for everybody concerned is incalculable, and, desperately, Pitt, Al Giordino, and the rest of the NUMA(r) crew rush to the rescue, but what they find in the storm's wake makes the furies of nature pale in comparison. For there is an all-too-human evil at work in that part of the world, and the brown tide is only a by-product of its plan. Soon, its work will be complete-and the world will be a very different place. Though if Summer's discovery is to be believed, the world is already a very different place…
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The Antichrist

While the rest of Joseph Roth's oeuvre has been made available to the English-speaking world in recent years, this new translation by Richard Panchyk – a distant relative of Roth – will redress the historical absence of such a key, neglected work in the Roth canon. Roth penned and published The Antichrist during the first years of his exile from his homeland, and an English translation was published in London, in 1935 by William Heinemann. The Antichrist's singularity amongst Joseph Roth's work stems both from the urgency that courses through its prose and the book's hybrid form, which seems simultaneously to straddle the novel, journalism and memoir. Though Roth himself referred proudly to this book as a novel, it is not easy to classify. In fact, at first glance one may be inclined to call it a series of interconnected essays, but it becomes clear that Antichrist is certainly more novel than essay. The Antichrist has less to do with religion than with what Roth...
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The Chronological Man: The Martian Emperor

Who is the Martian Emperor? When a giant airship descends on New York City in 1892 and threatens destruction if the world doesn’t submit to the Martian flag, it’s up to the mysterious Smith, inventor and adventurer to find out what forces are at work. From the dangerous basement fan-tan parlors of Chinatown to the top of the Statue of Liberty’s torch, Smith and his brilliant assistant, April Malone, will have to unravel the clues and avoid danger lurking behind every corner. To stop the menace they’ll need they enlist the help of Theodore Roosevelt and other early twentieth-century heroes. The second book in The Chronological Man series, The Martian Emperor combines mystery, airship battles and backroom Tammany Hall politics against the backdrop of a world on the verge of war.
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Deathstalker d-1

Owen Deathstalker, last of his line, is a quiet man, a historian, remote from the stench of corruption and intrigue surrounding the Iron Throne at the heat of the galaxy-spanning, tyrannical Empire. And then, inexplicably, Deathstalker is outlawed, forced to flee from one end of the Empire to the other. And as he does so, he discovers that resistance is growing, everywhere, to the Iron Bitch on the Iron Throne.
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Confessions of a Serial Alibi

A story of murder and an unlikely alibi witness as featured in This American Life's hit podcast Serial.In 1999 Adnan Syed was arrested for murdering his ex-girlfriend Hae Min Lee. But at the same time he was accused of the crime, Asia McClain claims she saw Syed at the local library.When McClain hears of Syed's arrest, she wrote to him to let him know that she might be his alibi. In spite of the opportunity to have him proven innocent, Syed's attorney did not take any action. Later, his attorney was disbarred due to numerous health problems including multiple sclerosis. She died in 2004.Over a decade after Syed's arrest, This American Life's Sarah Koenig investigates the old case. Her interviews with McClain become the first subject of Koenig's hugely successful podcast Serial and the story became an international internet phenomenon.Determined to set the record straight and the truth free, McClain reaches out to Syed's new defense attorney and on November 6, 2015, the court...
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The Runes of the Earth t3cotc-1

The triumphant return of the New York Times -bestselling, critically acclaimed fantasy series that has become a modern classic. Since their publication more than two decades ago, the initial six books in The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant series have sold more than 6 million copies and have been published in ten countries around the world. Now, starting with The Runes of the Earth , Stephen R. Donaldson returns with a quartet of new Covenant novels that are certain to satisfy his millions of fans, and attract countless new followers. In the original series, a man-living in our world and in our time-is mysteriously struck down with a disease long since believed to have been eradicated. He becomes a pariah in his small town and is abandoned by his wife who departs with their infant son. Alone and despairing, Thomas Covenant falls and, while unconscious, is transported to a fantastic world in which a battle for the soul of the land is being waged. Christened "The Unbeliever"-for he is convinced the world is only an illusion, a dream-he finds himself slowly forced to accept the role that seems to be his destiny: savior of the Land. At the end of the sixth book, Covenant is killed, both in the real world and in the Land, as his companion, Linden Avery, looks on in horror. His death is both the ultimate sacrifice-and his redemption. At the opening of The Runes of Earth , ten years have passed. Linden Avery comes home one day to find her child building images of the Land with blocks, and senses a terrible foreboding. She had thought that she would never again be summoned to the Land-nor ever again see her beloved Thomas Covenant. But in the Land, evil is unmaking the very laws of nature…
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Enemies and Playmates

### Product Description When the abused decide to fight back, the abuser's world might just shatter. Lauren Covington's family maintains a grand facade that belies the life they live behind closed doors. Alex Covington, Lauren's father, keeps a tight rein on his family through dominance, abuse, and obsessive control. Consequently, Lauren doesn't believe she could ever trust a man, much less fall in love with one. When Lauren meets Jesse Ryder, her carefully constructed protective wall shatters. She falls hopelessly and completely in love. It's only fitting that Jesse is a private detective who had once worked for her father, had defied him, and was now the subject of Alex Covington's wrath. Amidst devastating loss, betrayal, and her father's destructive pursuit of Jesse, Lauren finds the trust and love she had always longed for.
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The Plate Spinner Chronicles

What working parent hasn't considered delivering a performance review to their child prior to granting a salary, er, allowance increase? "The Plate Spinner Chronicles: A Working Mother's Epic Adventure" is a hybrid memoir/how-to guide that is stuffed with multi-tasking advice and relevant, but nostalgic anecdotes, all written in the wry tone of a harried working mother who'd rather laugh than cry over the length of her to-do list. This book is a compilation of The Plate Spinner columns which originally ran in the Chicago Tribune.
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Pop Goes the Weasel: The Secret Meanings of Nursery Rhymes

Mr Jack has been nimble and he's been quick, searching through the history of nursery rhymes and he's found out all kind of plum tales, just like little Jack Horner. He's unearthed the answers to some very curious questions...Who were Mary Quite Contrary and Georgie Porgie? How could Hey Diddle Diddle offer an essential astronomy lesson? And if Ring a Ring a Roses isn't about catching the plague, then, what is it really about? The ingenious book delves into the hidden meanings of the nursery rhymes and songs we all know so well and discovers all kinds of strange tales ranging from Viking raids to firewalking and from political rebellion to slaves being smuggled to freedom. Children have always played at being grown up and all kinds of episodes in our history are still being re-enacted today in a series of dark games (Oranges and Lemons traces a condemned man's journey across London to his execution, Goosie Gander is about dragging a hidden Catholic priest to prison) And there are many many more. Full of vivid illustrations and with each verse reproduced, here are a multitude of surprising stories you won't be able to resist passing on to everyone you know. Your childhood songs and rhymes will never sound the same again.ReviewAn irresistible treasure-trove ... The way these gossipy little rhymes give us a snapshot of everyday life in centuries gone by is enchanting. You'll never look at nursery rhymes again in the same way Daily Mirror The history behind nursery rhymes is not only highly specific but often splendidly grim. This book is a reminder of the riches below the surface: characters, jokes, events and stories The Times About the AuthorWhen not engaged in research, Albert Jack lives somewhere between Guildford and Cape Town, where he divides his time between fast living and slow horses, neat vodka and untidy pubs.
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