Where the Heart Lies Read online

  “Honey, she starts college next fall. She got into Chapel Hill early admissions. I told my husband he needed to sell some big houses between now and then.”

  “That just doesn’t seem right.” Alicia sighed. She remembered her own senior year of high school and how eager she’d been to get out of Brunswick, Georgia, a town best known for being stuck in a constant economic depression. Alicia often wondered if she would have been so eager to leave her family home for the University of Georgia in Atlanta if she’d known about the accident that would claim her parent’s lives her freshman year. Maybe she was more adaptable to tragedy than she liked to believe, however. With no friends or family or even nostalgia to pull her back to the southern half of Georgia, she’d set herself up in Atlanta after graduating college, happier in her life there than she’d ever been before. And meeting a handsome Marine hadn’t changed that.

  Ty was so different from every other man she’d ever dated. Tall and strong and light-hearted, he’d swept her off her feet from the very beginning. She had met him in Atlanta one night when she’d gone out with some coworkers. She spotted him almost as soon as he entered the bar. Every now and then she’d cast her gaze his way, only to find him looking at her. Finally he’d asked if he could buy her a drink.

  They went to the bar together, leaving her swooning friends behind at the table. As he put the glass of chardonnay in her hand, she’d shouted over the music, “It’s very impolite to stare, you know.”

  He leaned down. He must have shouted over the noise in the bar, but she felt as if his voice was very intimate, meant only for her. “That’s what I was coming over to tell you.” His breath was warm on her ear and when their eyes met, she knew immediately she would fall in love with him.

  Alicia sighed and glanced up to find Penny looking at her with sad understanding. “What?” She blinked her eyes quickly against the sudden prickle of tears.

  Penny put her hand on her friend’s arm. “You’re thinking of Ty.”

  Alicia opened her mouth to protest, then shrugged, biting her lip. She pushed away from the counter, restless but with nowhere to go. “It’s just not fair, you know? He should be here. This was his plan. Move home and take care of his parents. Take over his father’s old bookstore. Make it all work.” She brushed the back of her hand over her eyes, impatient with the tears that were so close to the surface, and wondering why it was so easy to open up to this woman she barely knew. “Sheesh. You’d think I’d be past this, wouldn’t you? It’s been nine months already.”

  “Honey, you could go a lifetime and not get over it.” Penny put her arm around Alicia’s shoulders and squeezed. “Nobody would judge you. You’re here in his old home and trying to follow through with his plans. It’s like he’s all around you again, but…not. You’re a remarkable woman. It’s no wonder Ty loved you so much.”

  Alicia shrugged. “Not that remarkable. It’s not like I had that much choice. We’d already bought the house before Ty was deployed. Besides, Millie and Jim are the only parents I’ve had for a long time.” She opened the empty pantry door, then turned with a forced smile. “I’d invite you to stay for dinner, but all I’ve got to offer is one can of chicken soup, and I’m not sure it’s not out of date.”

  Penny waved that away. “Nonsense. Amy’s out back playing with Gemma. I’ll send her to the store for sandwich stuff. I’d invite you back to my place for dinner, but my pantry’s nearly as bad. My husband Mark’s been out of town for the past week, so I’m not as together as usual.”

  “I guess you miss him.” Alicia gave the other woman an understanding look.

  “You have no idea.” Penny sighed. “He makes me young again. Guess it doesn’t hurt that he’s ten years younger than me.” She winked. “My bed’s been kind of lonely the past week.”

  The words sent a pang through Alicia’s heart and she turned. Fortunately, Jason chose that moment to wake with a hungry cry. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she started down the hall. “Duty calls.”

  “I’ll go get Amy,” Penny followed her out of the kitchen, evidently unconscious of the pain her casual remark had caused.

  “Oh, don’t worry about it.” Alicia picked up Jason. “Really, as soon as I feed Jason, I’ll hit the drive-through at McDonald’s.”

  “Great idea! I’ll send Amy for all of us.”

  Alicia realized that her new friend was not likely to leave her alone. And if she were being honest, she had to admit she had no real interest in being alone on her first night in her new home.

  Chapter Two

  By eight-thirty the children were fed, bathed and in bed. Penny and Amy had gone, leaving the little family alone. Alicia tried to ignore the heavy sensation of change weighing on her shoulders. She wandered through the house, checking on the children one more time.

  She paused by Gemma’s door, smiling at the small, tousled head on the pillow. Given her choice of rooms, Gemma had selected her father’s old bedroom. Alicia glanced around at the artifacts that chronicled her husband’s life before she’d met him. A shelf of trophies and ribbons from sporting events. Framed photographs of family outings and certificates of achievement, probably added by Millie after Ty left home. A few college pennants, mostly for the University of North Carolina Tarheels. Ty had earned his undergraduate degree there and had hoped to go back for his Master’s in Business Administration when he got out of the service. I was sitting on that bed with him when he told me about those hopes. For all the good they did.

  With a tiny, resigned sigh for lost dreams, Alicia turned away from her daughter’s door. She should go to bed. Jason was asleep, but she could never be certain how long that would last. He had been sleeping about six hours a night, which meant he’d be up by three o’clock in the morning. But she wasn’t sleepy, even if she was exhausted. She decided to go back to the kitchen and rummage through the cabinets to make certain a box of teabags wasn’t hiding somewhere in the corners.

  Another search of the cabinets proved fruitless. Her mother-in-law had left all her pots, pans and dishes, but no food. Alicia sighed and got herself a glass of water. The front door was still open, and she thought vaguely that she should close it, as the cool March breeze wafted in. When she rounded the bar to close the door, a dark shape passed the front window and Alicia stepped back, tripping over the baby’s car seat and spilling her water over her chest as she sat down hard on the living room floor. Feeling both silly and frightened, she looked up at the man standing in her door.

  He regarded her with a bemused expression, holding a grocery bag in each arm. He looked about Ty’s age—at least ten years older than she was. He was well-built in a tall, slender, academic sort of way. He wore a knit shirt, jeans and wire-rimmed glasses that somehow made his face look more complete. Alicia wondered if he ever took the glasses off. Oh my God, what’s wrong with me? Grieving widows don’t think things like that. She felt heat creep up her neck.

  “Hi.” He looked helplessly down at her. He probably would have helped her up, but the grocery bags presented a quandary.

  She scrambled to her feet, aware of her shirt plastered to her chest as she stared at him through the screen door. “Uh, hi. I’m sorry, you startled me.” She hesitated, peering at him. “I know you. You’re Liam, uh, Liam…”

  “Addison.” He hefted the bags. “An old friend of Ty’s. We met once, a while back. Right after you and Ty got married.”

  Alicia nodded. “Yeah. I remember. In a bar, wasn’t it?”

  “Yeah.” He seemed eager to change the subject. “I heard you were moving in today, and I decided to bring you over a few groceries. Just some doughnuts for the kids, some coffee, milk, you know, the staples.”

  “Oh!” Alicia reached quickly for the lock on the screen door. “That’s so nice of you. I don’t have a thing for breakfast tomorrow.” She laughed. “My mother-in-law told me I should go to the grocery s
tore and as usual she was right.”

  “Millie?” He carried the bags in as she held the door for him. “I’m sure you’ve already discovered Millie’s always right. Even when she’s wrong, she’s right.” He put the bags on the bar.

  Alicia picked up a dishtowel in a vain attempt to mop herself off. “You and Ty were good friends in high school, right?” She tilted her head in as friendly and open a way as she could to let him know it was okay to talk about her dead husband. A lot of people were hesitant to speak about Ty, maybe afraid of how she’d react. At this point, she was mostly past the crying stage. It was only every now and then that his loss hit her especially hard.

  “Yeah.” Liam looked around, as if to avoid meeting her eyes. “Ty was a good guy.” His eyes fell on the photograph Alicia had noticed earlier. “That’s me, actually. I remember that day. We caught those fish right out back in the pond.”

  Ty had mentioned a pond somewhere behind the house. She made a mental note to figure out how far away it was so she could make sure Gemma didn’t wander too near it.

  Liam turned back and this time his gaze met Alicia’s with a friendly glint in his eyes. “Ty always had a knack for landing the big fish.”

  Alicia was startled by how green those eyes were. Like tree leaves after rain. She cleared her throat. “Um, did you say something about coffee in there? I was just wishing for something warm to drink. Would you like some?”

  As she spoke, Jason began to cry. She laughed. “Perfect timing as usual.”

  “I’ve heard kids have a way of doing that.” He nodded to the coffeemaker. “Why don’t I make myself at home and brew you a cup while you get him settled? Decaf all right?”

  “That would probably be best. I’m already wired, just from driving here.” She headed back into the master bedroom where she’d temporarily put Jason’s crib. He quieted almost as soon as she closed the door behind her. “Hi, baby. What’s up? Besides you, that is?” As she lifted him, he nuzzled her wet T-shirt and she laughed. “Guess I know what you want.” She discarded the wet shirt entirely, taking a blanket from his crib to cover him so he wouldn’t be chilled as he nursed. They settled into the rocking chair next to the bed and she relaxed, thinking it was the first time that day she’d had a moment to herself.

  Her mind turned to the man in her kitchen. Odd that she’d been so at ease with him that she didn’t mind leaving him there alone. Of course, Liam didn’t look like the serial killer type. And it was nice of him to offer to make her coffee while she took care of Jason. Ty used to do that when Gemma was a baby. He’d get up when she did at night, help her change Gemma’s diaper, then make decaf coffee or herbal tea for her to sip while she nursed. Sometimes he’d stay with them, just lying on the couch or the bed, watching them with a look of wonder in his eyes that made her fall in love with him all over again.

  Remembering that look of love, Alicia felt at home for the first time since she’d arrived.

  * * *

  “I know it’s asking a lot.” He reached across the table and took her hands.

  She felt numb. While she totally understood where he was coming from, what he was asking of her really seemed like too much. She’d never imagined leaving Atlanta, the city she’d grown to love as if she’d lived there forever. What would small-town life be like for a city girl like her?

  “I won’t do it without you. We’re in this together, no matter what. And I wouldn’t ask except for my dad…”

  He trailed off when she raised her hand to stop him. “It’s okay.” She took a deep breath. “I just have to get used to the idea, that’s all.”

  “You mean you’ll do it?” His face broke into a grin and he squeezed the hand he still held. “Baby, that’s awesome. Mom really needs the support, and she’ll be ecstatic to have us close again.”

  She frowned at him, pulling her hand from his. “Of course I’ll do it. I love your parents. Did you really think I wouldn’t move home with you when you asked me to?”

  He shrugged, looking sheepish. “I know, it’s silly. I just hated to ask you. We’ll be uprooting the whole family. Your work is here, you like your job…”

  She stood and walked around the table, bending to glare directly into his eyes. “And I love you. Don’t you know I’d go anywhere with you?”

  He put an arm around her waist and pulled her into his lap. He framed her face with both hands and kissed her. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

  “And you always will.” She laid her head on his shoulder with a sigh of contentment. Maybe small-town North Carolina wouldn’t be so bad. At least she had Ty.

  * * *

  Liam drummed his fingertips on the counter and shifted his weight. He’d set out two coffee cups, along with the carton of half and half and sugar he’d bought. The coffeemaker had finished brewing a good fifteen minutes before. Maybe she’d fallen asleep. She certainly had every excuse. Two kids and a new house.

  And what the hell was he doing hanging around anyway? It was just inviting trouble. He’d had no intention of staying after dropping off the groceries. He hesitated. Could he leave without saying anything? After another moment’s hesitation, he tiptoed down the hallway. He’d tap quietly enough on the door so he wouldn’t wake her if she’d fallen asleep. If she didn’t answer, he’d turn the coffeemaker off and leave her a note.

  The master bedroom door was slightly open, however. Without thinking, Liam reached for the knob, intending to pull it closed if there was no sign of movement inside. Instead, he froze, his eyes caught by an unexpectedly lovely sight. Alicia sat in the rocking chair on the far side of the bed, her body bare to the waist, the baby cradled in her arms and a blanket partly covering them both. Her head bowed over the baby’s and the full moon cast an ethereal glow around them. Liam sucked in a breath, opening his mouth to mutter an embarrassed excuse, but stopped just in time. Both mother and baby were asleep. For a long moment he hesitated, his eyes drawn to the vignette of Ty’s wife and son before he turned away, cursing himself as silently and vehemently as possible.

  Closing the door gently, he leaned against the wall for a moment, putting his hand over his eyes. The desire was both visceral and unavoidable, as was the guilt. “What the hell’s wrong with you?” It was a rhetorical question for which he didn’t expect an answer.

  “I’m hungry.”

  Liam opened his eyes and jerked upright, surprised to find he was no longer alone in the hall. The little girl standing just outside the other bedroom door looked so startlingly like her mother, Liam couldn’t formulate an answer right away. Fortunately, she didn’t seem to expect one. Placing her hand in his, she gave a firm tug toward the kitchen. Bemused, Liam followed her pull in that direction, thinking maybe he could alleviate some of his own guilt over his transgression by getting Alicia’s daughter settled back into bed before he left.

  And then he would get the hell away from her before he did something stupid.

  * * *

  Alicia gave a little start as Jason’s tiny hand fell from its position on the side of her breast. He had stopped nursing. She’d been in a relaxed state near sleep for several minutes. She glanced at the clock. How long had she been asleep? She carefully placed Jason back into his crib. Grabbing a new T-shirt from her suitcase, she headed down the hall, wondering if her visitor had left.

  She found Liam at the kitchen table with Gemma, who was drinking milk and munching contentedly on a doughnut. In front of him sat a candle, a lighter, a glass and a bowl. The bowl held a little water and a coin. As Alicia paused in the doorway, Liam looked at Gemma. “Do you believe I can get the quarter out of the water without getting my fingers wet?”

  Her mouth full of doughnut, Gemma shook her head from side to side. With a mysterious expression and dancing eyes, Liam lit the candle, placed it in the bowl and put the glass upside down over the candle. Gemma sat spellbound, staring at th
e dish, and then her eyes widened. All the water had been sucked into the overturned glass, leaving the dish nearly dry. Liam picked up the coin and handed it to Gemma with a flourish. “For your piggy bank, madam.”

  “Very impressive.” Alicia clapped as she entered the room.

  Liam looked up. “Hi. Sorry, I was just about to leave when she woke up and wanted a snack.”

  “How long was I out?” Alicia asked, startled.

  “About half an hour.” He pointed toward the coffeemaker. “I figured you wouldn’t want the coffee, but it’s still in the pot.”

  “And what are you doing up, munchkin?” Alicia tousled her daughter’s hair.

  “I was hungry.” Gemma sounded sulky. “All we had for dinner was McDonald’s. I didn’t have a night snack.”

  “Ouch, the guilt.” Alicia mimed an arrow hitting her in the heart and Gemma giggled. “Well, since Mr. Addison was kind enough to rescue you from your hunger, I believe it’s time you went back to bed.”

  “Okay. Good night, Mr. Addison.” To Alicia’s surprise, her daughter went around the table to hug him.

  Liam smiled. “Good night, sweetheart.” He patted Gemma on the back.

  He started to rise as Alicia turned to leave the room, but she stopped him. “Can you stay a little longer?” The words were out of her mouth before she knew she was going to speak. She blushed a little. “I mean, don’t you want to have a cup of coffee before you go?”

  “Sure,” he said. “Yeah, if you don’t mind.”

  Gemma tugged on her hand and Alicia spoke over her shoulder as her daughter pulled her down the hallway. “No, really, I’ll be right back this time.”

  * * *

  Liam shook his head with a little laugh as Gemma pulled her mother away. The two disappeared down the hall and he sat, wondering again if he was doing the right thing. He glanced at the picture of Ty and his own younger self on the counter. Life was so much simpler then. Just me and Ty and the fish.