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  CHANGES. The Busy Professional’s Guide to Reducing Stress, Accomplishing Goals, and Mastering Adaptability.

  Copyright © 2019 Arc Integrated Media, LLC.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2019904676

  Copyrighted material.

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  Praise for “Changes”

  In “Changes,” Michael Diettrich-Chastain provides both a concise and compelling “playbook” for managing change in both our personal and professional lives. He examines the internal and external factors that impact our ability to successfully change and transform, and invites us to explore change from a spiritual and long-term perspective. I highly recommend this book for anyone charged with leading change in an organizational setting, or managing transitions in your personal life. Michael will challenge you to think differently and holistically, while providing the resources necessary to help you effectively manage change.

  —William L. Sparks, Ph.D. Dennis Thompson Chair & Professor, Leadership McColl School of Business, Queens University of Charlotte

  As we grow, we calcify habits and patterns, and one of the best and hardest things we can do in our life is take control of our habits by examining them, breaking them, and then sticking to a new and better habit. Diettrich-Chastain makes that process clear and actionable, to allow both organizations and individuals to identify, action on and stick to change. A highly recommended resource that will open your eyes to the things that have been stuck in your life, and gives you a road map to finally shift them.

  —Ariel Garten, Founder and CEO of Interaxon

  The quality of the questions we ask ourselves determines the quality of our lives! In CHANGES: The Busy Professional’s Guide to Reducing Stress, Accomplishing Goals, and Mastering Adaptability, Michael Diettrich-Chastain masterfully guides us to three simple, brilliant questions that have the power to direct us to reduce stress, ignite momentum, and constantly keep us on track as change-thrivers! Michael teaches us how to use these questions as a GPS to great fulfillment, flexibility, and peace of mind both professionally and personally!

  —Brian Biro, America’s Breakthrough Coach, Author of Beyond Success and There are no Overachievers

  The more things stay the same, the more they don’t! Everything is in a constant state of change…including YOU. Which is what makes this book so valuable. Drawing on his deep coaching and consulting experience, Michael Diettrich-Chastain provides insights, tools, and tips that are eminently effective and transformational.

  —Bill Treasurer, bestselling author of Courage Goes to Work.

  Michael has written the book every professional needs for today’s constantly shifting marketplace. Changes - The Business Professional’s Guide To Reduce Stress, Accomplish Goals and Master Adaptability is the ultimate guide to successfully navigating today’s marketplace. Michael’s book is powerful, packed with a deep understanding of how change impacts you, your business and your team. Which is enough reason to read this book - but then he takes it one step further. He loads this book with strategies and tools of exactly how to, what to and when to do it. I love this book - it is not a one-time read. This is the type of book you read, you reread and then you keep on your desk as your guide to mastering change.

  —Meridith Elliot Powell, Business Growth Expert & Keynote Speaker

  Michael Diettrich-Chastain’s debut book Changes is a comprehensive guide to creating your best life. Everyone wants to experience positive change. Humans are hardwired to evolve. Effectively executing that change, however, requires self-awareness and strategy - two things we aren’t born with when we enter this world. Michael’s book will provide you with a whole tool box of exercises and concepts to help you get from point A to point B, while enjoying the process.

  —Alison Sher, author of The Millennial’s Guide to Changing the World

  Michael Diettrich-Chastain’s thorough and thoughtful book is a paean to the power—the imperative—of self-reflection in the work of creating positive change, both professionally and personally. He lucidly deconstructs the process of self-inquiry into its component parts, making it tangible and user-friendly. In his capable hands, the search for self-knowledge is not some mysterious algorithm but a profoundly practical and reachable goal.

  — Gregg Levoy, author of Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life, and Vital Signs: The Nature and Nurture of Passion

  Like a skillful mapmaker, Michael lays out a clarion path for the reader to chart their own journey for change in however they need it--and we all need it. Equally applicable in life, love and career. CHANGES is a robust and useful guide and an important contribution to the field. A book of beauty and wisdom.

  —Matthew Moseley, communication strategist, author of Dear Dr. Thompson: Felony Murder, and the Last Gonzo Campaign. World record holder open water swimmer

  Dedication

  To my parents, who encouraged my curiosity.

  http://www.arcintegrated.com/changes

  Preface

  Hello, and welcome to CHANGES: The Busy Professional’s Guide to Reducing Stress, Accomplishing Goals, and Mastering Adaptability.

  Ever wonder why things aren’t going the way you planned? Why things are happening to you instead of you making them happen? Have you set out to create change in your life and then been drawn back to old patterns or ways of thinking that you were trying to avoid? Do you know what questions to ask that will ensure success in your personal and professional life again?

  CHANGES will help you ask the right questions and get the answers you’ve been searching for as you strive toward creating the change you want.

  Within these pages I encourage you to keep asking yourself three main questions.

  Question 1: What insights do I need and what specific actions should I take to create long-term change?

  I have many clients, friends, family members, colleagues, and acquaintances with strong personal insight. Perhaps you fall into this category too. Sometimes even the most insightful among us reach for change and fall short. We can get so wrapped up in trying to understand where we are that we end up philosophizing, dialoguing, and goal setting ourselves to death. Spinning our wheels in this way diminishes our ability to create the life we want. It takes more than mere insight to get us across the finish line.

  Insight is important. It sets out a clear path toward positive change. However, insight does not walk the path for us. The old adage, “knowledge is power,” carries some truth, but there is so much more to empowerment than knowledge alone. If we don’t apply what we come to understand, true change is limited.

  We can have knowledge, wisdom, and understanding, but unless we apply it, we limit ourselves. Translating the knowledge into action is where real change happens. Imagine all the times you’ve understood what is best for you or had clarity about something, but didn’t act. Not much changed, did it? Knowledge is powerful, but it is only part of the equation.

  In every chapter of this book you’ll find tried-and-true actions to take. If you do the work, you’ll reap the rewards. If you’re only interested in concepts, that’s okay, you will find some interesting ones in the pages ahead. But don’t get your hopes up about creating changes if your interest is merely academic or theoretical. If you are ready to apply the concepts to make lasting cha
nges in your personal and professional life, then, congratulations, you are just the kind of reader I had in mind when I was writing this book!

  The bridge from understanding to application is an important one to cross. This book navigates that crossing. Take responsibility for creating the change you seek. Mere insight or understanding will not get you there. You must do the work if you’re going to make it across the bridge.

  Question 2: How do my insights and actions improve my personal and professional life?

  Most of us spend the majority of our waking hours at work. So, what we focus on in our professional lives can influence how we spend our time and energy off the job as well.

  As we continue to change, grow, and evolve as human beings, aspects of our lives rearrange themselves in order of current priority. We may change outlooks, let go of relationships, start new ones, eat less, drink more, eat more, drink less, and change what we decide is important from one chapter of our lives to the next.

  Each of the personal habits, behaviors, and mental shifts we create, deliberately or inadvertently, impacts all other parts of our life. My hope is that you connect your personal development to improvement at work since the time spent on the job is such a big part of our lives.

  Connecting self-exploration to your professional life means being honest about your work environment. Consider asking yourself: “Is this really where I want to be?” “Do I really believe there are no other options?” “How are my beliefs currently serving me?” “What am I willing to do to live the life I want?” Make no mistake, change-making is neither easy nor painless. Taking a good hard look at yourself may cause discomfort and lead to seeking answers to difficult questions.

  Creating a life that you want doesn’t necessitate leaving your job. Moving on to something new is just one potential outcome. I only bring it up as a bit of a warning. Don’t worry, there are many other outcomes related to professional development that can unfold as a result of self-exploration.

  Question 3: How do the various parts of my life impact my ability to create the changes I want to make?

  All of the facets of our lives are woven together. This interconnection is explained throughout the book. If you want to make true, sustainable change, understanding how the different aspects of your life influence each other will be crucial. We know intuitively that the different aspects of our lives are related. Our health, relationships, habits—these all influence one another . . . for better and for worse. Sometimes when we get attached to creating a specific change in one area of our life, we can lose track of this interconnectivity. For example, when considering how to manage your stress, your default might be to evaluate what’s going on at work, and that makes sense. However, after more in-depth examination, you may uncover one or more of the following culprits:

  You aren’t getting enough sleep.

  You are on the fence about certain relationships.

  You don’t exercise or aren’t exercising enough.

  You are constantly experiencing conflict with loved ones.

  You feel stuck in your job and that nothing can be done to get you unstuck.

  You may discover as you chip away at the various stressors that they were actually the major contributors and that by addressing them, work is no longer as stressful. Even if work was the initial stressor, your ability to manage all of the contributing factors will still be necessary to resolve the issue. When we fail to trace one dimension of our lives to the network of others, we fail to get at the root of the problem.

  There is a major advantage in looking at ourselves holistically. If we can see how all the different parts of our life connect, then the ability to influence each one greatly increases. I have seen this kind of personal macro-vision succeed in the lives of numerous organizational leaders and others I’ve worked with over the years. Whether you are trying to lose weight, change careers, improve your romantic relationship, or enhance your spiritual life, success hinges on adopting a holistic approach to guide you toward your goal. If you can examine what is truly helping or hindering your progress, it’s also harder to live in denial or make excuses for not achieving what you want.

  CHANGES explores seven aspects of your lived experience. These are the seven core dimensions of your life most fundamental to change making. If you examine each dimension individually and in relation to each other, then you can pinpoint your stumbling blocks. After all, it’s just as important to find the land mines as it is to find the tools.

  The success that stems from connecting the different parts of our experience transcends socio-economic status, occupation, age, and other such categorizations. Whether you are a corporate CEO or struggling to meet your basic needs, if you have the courage to examine yourself deeply and determine what lies behind your success and failure, you can truly develop. Exploring the seven dimensions in CHANGES will accelerate that growth.

  What now?

  Do the homework. Take the time to explore ideas and experiment with them. Invest in yourself. If you aren’t satisfied with the results, you will still find yourself in a different place from where you were, and you can alter your path once again. By experimenting with strategies, you learn what works for you, what doesn’t, what is too easy, and what needs to be scaled back or further dissected. Taking action initiates growth.

  Enjoy the Journey!

  Michael

  NOTE:

  I want to acknowledge all the clients I’ve had the opportunity to work with over the years. I am honored to have been witness to some incredible change-making at the individual and organizational levels. Through working as a professional coach, organizational consultant, and psychotherapist, I have seen amazing courage, vulnerability, discipline, and resilience.

  The stories in this book about clients have been altered to protect confidentiality. Some of these stories do not relate to one individual, but are composites of different individuals and encounters. I am grateful to every client I have worked with over the years for all the lessons learned.

  In terms of this book’s frame of reference, I should mention that while I have worked with clients from various cultural backgrounds, they have all lived in North America. In addition, I have taken part in cross-cultural exchange programs, studied abroad, and attended global conferences, but for the most part my educational background and training has been in the United States.

  Introduction

  Maintaining Holistic CHANGES

  Like many people, Bill was challenged with shifting careers and building more productivity into his life. He wasn’t in dire straits. He had an apartment, a girlfriend, and a job, but was unsettled. Furthermore, Bill had a sharp mind, a good education, many interests, and a kind heart. But Bill struggled to overcome things that weighed him down and kept him from reaching what he wanted. He was frustrated with his job, troubled by the conflict in his relationship, and concerned about his substance use.

  We began working together to find insight into what was holding him back. Bill may remind you of people you have known or maybe even of yourself. I could certainly relate to a few of Bill’s challenges.

  When Bill started to examine the many facets of his life and understand how they were connected, he created momentum. He had the courage to examine the stories he had told himself and how they excused or reinforced the patterns in his life. Then Bill took action. He created more self-care practices and spent more time outdoors, where he longed to be. Consequently, he became more capable of managing stress. Better stress management led to a reduction of conflict in his romantic relationship. With less stress and conflict in his life, he was able to think more clearly and focus on shifting careers. He was able to connect the pieces of his life and acquire a greater sense of wholeness.

  My philosophy on making and maintaining change encompasses a few core concepts, including these two:

  1.The more we explore the complexity of who we are, as well how we relate to others, the more effective we become at creating long-term change. 2. The more we e
mbrace the idea that each facet of our life is connected to all others, the more effective we become at creating long-term change.

  I take a holistic approach in most things I do, including how I create lasting change. These ideas are based on my lived experience and over a decade of work with thousands of people through professional coaching, organizational consulting, and psychotherapy. I’ve worked with individuals from all walks of life and I’ve addressed a wide array of needs and desires. From owners of successful companies to those afflicted with severe and persistent mental health issues, everyone is looking for change. I have worked with the “one percenters” and with those just scraping by. I have been honored to partner with each and every one of my clients and to witness successful change in countless manifestations.

  When I look back at the people and organizations I’ve worked with, I realize that the same connections we uncovered in their lives, through the process of creating positive change, I also found in my own life. The more we can connect the different parts of ourselves, the more successful we will be with any individual aspect.

  Whether you are working with a coach, therapist, guru, or just moving through a process on your own, the ideas in this book are meant as a guide to make and maintain change.

  When working toward change, particularly when it comes to goal achievement, reducing stress or adapting to challenging circumstance, it is important to consider all the aspects that may help, or hurt, your progress.

  We are complicated creatures.

  Creating the best version of ourselves is not only about thinking in a different way or practicing good habits. True and lasting change comes from evaluating all the parts and pieces of our human experience. When we align and look through all our different lenses, we get a clearer view of the truth and our likelihood of success skyrockets. Incidentally, I use the term “success” with caution. The success I am talking about comes from examining who you are, at the core level. The details of that success are up to you.