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  “How else can I think of him?”

  “Mother, what about us? Are you thinking of our families and your true grandchildren? What will happen to them if this becomes a scandal?”

  “I only want to know where the child is and that he is well, that someone is caring for him. If I knew that, I would stop asking about him.”

  “I think that is a reasonable request. Robert and I will speak to Papa,” Paul said.

  My husband’s family from Montgomery arrived that evening.

  “Theodora, how is Cornelius?” my mother-in-law asked.

  “Mrs. Allen, he has not been well since Clarissa passed away. He stays in his apartment and his office.”

  “Paul and Robert told me that Clarissa’s child was born early and passed away?”

  “Yes, yes, that is what happened.”

  “My poor dears, it is quite a heavy burden to lose one’s daughter and grandson that way.”

  Cornelius’s mother was unable to persuade him to stop drinking whiskey. When he emptied a bottle, he threatened to have the servants flogged if they did not immediately bring him another. She told Davis to send for a physician, but when he arrived, Cornelius refused to see him. He told the doctor that if he did not leave of his own volition, he would have his slaves escort him off the premises.

  I was painting in the verandah one afternoon when Eddie came to say that my husband wanted to speak with me and was waiting in his office. My mother-in-law was resting, and the young people were riding or playing in the game room. My husband seemed sober.

  “I have received four letters from Cromwell. He has retained slave catchers because Isaac has escaped. He said that he wants Sarah back immediately. I wrote him that I will return her to him if he agrees not to reveal anything publicly about what happened. We have been negotiating the terms of the agreement, and I think we are close. As soon as we finalize the contract, I will send Sarah back to him.”

  “I do not want you to send Sarah back. Why do we not buy her from him?”

  He laughed. “Why do you make that request? Is it that Sarah reminds you of Clarissa? Or is it that she is a better person than I am? By the way, Sarah learned more from you than how to speak properly, did she not?”

  I did not answer any of his questions. “Why did you laugh when I suggested we buy her?”

  “It appears that Cromwell can think of nothing else but Sarah. He refused my offer to buy her from him, and at a premium price, by the way. I even said I would give him five field hands. He threatened to commence a petition for her return in the Talladega Circuit Court. That, of course, would be the worst action he could take, as the sordid scandal would be reported in the newspapers. Thus Sarah is going back to Talladega, possibly as early as next week.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  SARAH CAMPBELL

  CLARISSA DIED AFTER HER FATHER REFUSED TO send for a doctor, died in spite of my mother’s and Miss Mary’s efforts to cure her. The day after her death, when I was in her wardrobe looking for her burial clothes, Mrs. Allen arrived, and when she noticed that I had been crying, I told her it was because I was thinking about Clarissa’s kindness in insisting that I join her at her lessons. That was so, but it was much more than that. I was crying because of everything that had happened, including my separation from Isaac, and because I was afraid of what was going to occur. Most of all, however, I was crying because I was going to escape and never again see my family.

  Mr. Allen did not attend the burial, and I believe that Mrs. Allen told the neighbors it was because he was ill. The truth was that, after Clarissa died, he was too drunk every day to go downstairs for his meals. Eddie took him trays from the kitchen, which he barely touched. There were partially full and empty bottles throughout his apartment, his office, and in the library, where he spent time staring at a watercolor of an island that Mrs. Allen painted.

  Mrs. Allen was determined to find out where Mr. Allen sent Clarissa’s baby. I went with her in a carriage to the fields to look for the overseers who took the child. They told her that Mr. Allen had ordered them not to tell anyone where they left the infant. I do not think that she ever abandoned her quest to find her grandson.

  I saw Belle for the first time the day before Clarissa was buried. I cried as we held each other.

  “Sarah, I wish Mr. Allen wouldn’t send you back, but I know you want to be with your husband.”

  “Belle, I’m so happy to be with you and Mama and the children.”

  Belle helped our mother and Bessie to dress Clarissa’s body while I worked in the kitchen. My nieces had not forgotten me, and I resisted the desire to teach them the alphabet. My nephew, who looked like Belle, was too young to remember me, but he was happy to spend time with me. My mother and I were together most evenings because Mr. Allen rarely summoned her those days. When she and I were alone, I told her what happened with Julius and that I had decided to run.

  “Sarah, I know I said before that you should run if the need or the chance came up, but it scares me. Listen, baby, I talked to Mr. Allen about buying you from him. He said he’s going to try.”

  “But, Mama, even if he does, which I don’t think will happen, I’m still running.”

  “But, sugar, maybe he’ll free you like he’s going to do with me and Belle and the children.”

  “I’m not going to live like this until he dies. No, Mama. I’m running away, and I need your help.”

  “Baby, you know I’ll do anything I can for you.”

  “First, I need to know when Mr. Allen is going to send me back.”

  “All right, I’ll find out.”

  “Can we go see Mr. Adams tomorrow?”

  “I don’t know. There’s been trouble in town. Some slaves escaped from the Fitzhugh plantation, and there’s been more patrollers there. The last time I went to Mr. Adams, he said they’re watching him and the church. I don’t think he’ll be able to help you.”

  “I still want to try to speak to him.”

  “All right, but he said when I go back, it’s to buy cloth or something, and if I’m ever there when somebody else is there, to make sure we only talk about clothing or sewing.”

  We went the next day, and as my mother said, there were more patrollers on the road and in town. Mr. Adams was alone.

  “Miss Emmeline, Sarah, what a pleasure to see you. What may I do for you?

  “May we speak?”

  “Yes, but first I have to tell you both that the patrollers paid me a visit. They said that, if they find any evidence that I’m helping slaves run away, the county is going to make me move. They also threatened to close the church, but one of our members is a lawyer in town. The planters use him and his firm for their legal and business matters. I’m sure it’s only his membership in our church that stays their hand at this point, but I don’t know how long that will hold them off. So we must be careful.”

  He and I moved to the rear of the store.

  “Mr. Adams, I have made the decision that we discussed before I went to Talladega. I’m running.”

  “Sarah, that is brave and I’m sure you reached that decision after much thought. How may I help you?”

  “Is there anyone who can take me by wagon or carriage from the outskirts of Allen Estates to…?”

  “Don’t tell me where to, the less I know the better. Yes, that is something I can arrange. Decide a date and come back to tell me as soon as possible.”

  “Thank you so much. Mr. Adams, I have another important request. I received a necklace as a gift from my master in Talladega. Would you take it as payment for making me two suits of men’s clothing, the type that a body servant would wear for traveling with his master?”

  “As you know, the fabric for those garments is fine wool, which is expensive. How much do you think the necklace is worth?”

  I took off the necklace and he examined the clasp.

  “It’s twenty-four carat gold and the pearls and rubies appear genuine. Sarah, this is probably worth a lot more than the value of t
he clothing. I will make you the clothes and I will give you currency, whatever I can afford.”

  “Mr. Adams, that’s generous of you. However, what is more important to me is that I have the suits quickly because we don’t yet know when Mr. Allen is going to send me back to Talladega. That’s something my mother is trying to learn.”

  “I will try to have them both ready within a week. Come back in four days to get the first one so that you’ll at least have one in your possession. If he decides to send you back earlier than the four days, tell your mother to beg him to let her spend a few more days with you.

  “Sarah, although it appears to me that you have prepared carefully for your escape, let me give you a bit of advice. You know you’re going to have to do a lot of walking, correct? Make sure you wear sturdy, comfortable boots. Do you have any?”

  “Yes, I do, the same ones I use to walk around the plantation.”

  “Good. And you know that you should only travel late at night, after the patrollers are gone.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Have you written your document?”

  “Yes, sir. I wrote it in Talladega in the event I could not write it here.”

  “Well done, but you should also write a general traveling pass stating that you are free to move about during the day. There may be times when a pass would be better to use than your freedman’s paper because patrollers and the militia, especially at boat landings and stagecoach depots, take a closer look at a paper that says you’re free. Unfortunately that’s the sum of the limited advice I can offer you. But if anyone can succeed, it’s you. Now, as I said before, I can get someone to take you in a wagon and get you as far away as possible before they realize at Allen Estates that you’re gone.”

  When we returned to Allen Estates, I asked my mother to let me clean Mr. Allen’s apartment and his office.

  “Be careful, Sarah. He might be drinking more than ever, but he still sees what’s going on around him.”

  I took socks, men’s undergarments, and a black hat from Mr. Allen’s well-stocked wardrobe and put them under clean rags in my cleaning bucket, which I hid in the washroom near our cabin. I still needed a small blanket and two of Clarissa’s dresses, but I would wait until just before I left to take them. When we went back to Mr. Adams four days later, he had completed both suits of clothing, which he had wrapped inside two separate bolts of cloth. He and I went to the rear of the shop.

  “I put currency in the inner pocket of one of the jackets. But, Sarah, I have very bad news for you. I can’t get someone to drive you. I’m so sorry, but they’re watching us. In fact, we have reason to believe that new members in our church are working with the company that provides planters with patrollers, searchers, and slave catchers. You may have noticed a patroller who is stationed at the turn to this road. He’s here to watch me, I’m sure.”

  “I’m sorry too for you and your church. Of course it will be much more difficult for me to get away, but I’ll think of another way. I pray that no harm will come to you and your fellow church members.”

  “Amen. Also, Sarah, I don’t know if you and your mother have heard, but they caught the two Fitzhugh slaves, even though they were already as far as Georgia.”

  “Do you know how they were caught?”

  “It was similar to what happened in Talladega. The owner placed advertisements for their return and warned that they might have forged passes. That’s why it’s important to travel late at night, to avoid having to show your papers, at least until you’re far from the plantation, where the patrollers may not know your master and where there may be no advertisements offering rewards for your capture.”

  “Well, Mr. Adams, this may be the last time we see each other. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done, sir.”

  “I’m merely God’s vessel. Remember to seek strength from the Lord. In your darkest hours, when you’ll want to surrender, look to the heavens and pray to Him and He will deliver you. Sarah, I wish you Godspeed.”

  Mr. and Mrs. Allen’s families arrived about two weeks after Clarissa died. The servants now had to work as we did before Clarissa, Isaac, and I went to Talladega. Mr. Allen continued to drink excessively, and his own mother could not get him to stop. I attempted to clean Mr. Allen’s office one afternoon, but he told me to leave after I knocked. I went to the library instead, where I closed the door and spent about an hour reviewing a map of Alabama. When I returned that evening to Mr. Allen’s office, the door was open and he was gone. There was nothing unusual on his desk. The next two afternoons were identical to the first; he was locked in his office and told me to leave. When I returned in the evening and there was no evidence of his secretive labor, I decided to return to clean in the morning. I asked my mother whether she was going to Mr. Allen that night.

  “I don’t know. Eddie ain’t said nothing yet. Why?”

  “I can’t say, but I need you to go to him and make sure he stays in his bedroom tomorrow morning.”

  The following day, I saw Eddie and he told me that Mr. Allen was still in bed. I went to the office and closed the door. I looked in the desk drawers and other places in the room, but I did not see any documents of interest other than pieces of burnt paper in the fireplace. That afternoon, my mother accompanied me to see Miss Mary. When we arrived at the slave quarters, I asked her to visit with Miss Mary’s neighbor so that I might speak to Miss Mary alone. Miss Mary was shelling peas on her porch. She said that we could speak inside her cabin.

  “Miss Mary, I need your help and I need to know if you will keep what I say secret.”

  “Sarah, I know everything you’ve been through. Your mother came here crying when she got back from Talladega, and she told me everything. She already asked me if I can help you. Sarah, you don’t know everything your mother do for all of us down here, do you? She’s the one that talks to Mr. Allen when us here in the fields and in the Hall need help. She’s the one who asked him to let me hire myself out to make some money. That’s how I bought my two oldest boys, the ones in Montgomery. So you know I’ll do anything I can to help Miss Emmeline or her girls. What can I do for you, baby?”

  “Miss Mary, I can’t go back to Talladega. Things got worse after my mother left Talladega. Mr. Cromwell wants me back to be his…I can’t do it.”

  “What about your husband?”

  “Well, my mother and Belle don’t know this, but he ran.”

  “And you want to do the same. You all going to try to meet up?”

  “No, there was no way to do it because Mr. Cromwell didn’t let him come back here with us.”

  “I’m sorry, baby.”

  “Thank you, Miss Mary.”

  “So how do you think I can help you?”

  “Well, I need to get as far away as fast as possible. Do you think any of the men who take goods to other places could take me with them? I could hide in the back of a wagon.”

  “Sarah, yes, they can do that, but what would you do after that?”

  “I’ve already thought about it. It’s better that I don’t tell you the details.”

  “But, Sarah, you is just a girl. Are you sure? What do Miss Emmeline say? Do she know?”

  “She tried to get me to change my mind.”

  “But she couldn’t.”

  “No. I’m going to do it, no matter what.”

  “All right, I do need to know what direction you headed to.”

  “South, but I want to stay east of Talladega County.”

  “All right. I know they’re getting shipments of leather goods ready to go to different plantations and to the boat landing. I’ll find out when the next ones is going south. I’ll let you know when I go up to the Hall to ask how Mrs. Allen doing. I’ll look for you.”

  “Thank you so much, Miss Mary. Do you think that the wagon will leave within a few days?”

  “It’s a lot of wagons, many more than one going in each direction. So you got a few days to be ready, but I’ll find out the exact day and let you know. Sara
h, I know I don’t have to tell you this but I will. Please be careful. And I’ll be praying for you.”

  “Thank you, Miss Mary. It’s like Belle said. You’re like our auntie.”

  I was ironing when Miss Mary arrived one day later. No one else was in the room, but she whispered. “You got three days. There’s a wagon going to a plantation in Chambers County at dawn on Thursday. That’s as far as they can take you. They’ll load the wagon by sundown Wednesday. You’re going to need to get yourself to where the wagon is going to be, by the tannery. Early Thursday morning, before dawn, get inside the back of the wagon when it’s still dark, before the overseer gets there with the pass. All right, Sarah. May the Lord keep you and protect you.”

  It was late afternoon when I finished ironing. My mother was in the kitchen, and I asked her to find a reason to get Mr. Allen out of the office.

  “Right now, Sarah? I’m cooking and I can’t go to him in the middle of the day. You know I only go to him at night, and only when he sends for me.”

  “This one time, Mama. I need you to get him out of that office. Tell him that you need to speak to him about me, that you’re worried about me. Ask him again to change his mind about sending me back. Belle and the others will finish supper. And, Mama, what I need to see is the papers he’s writing. Don’t give him the opportunity to put them away.”

  She agreed to my request. I waited until she was gone about twenty minutes and I went to the Hall with my bucket. He was not in the office. The document that I was looking for was on his desk. My hands were shaking as I read. When I was finished, I left quickly because I was afraid that my mother would not be able to keep him in his apartment.

  The following day, I took a small blanket from Mr. Allen’s wardrobe, and I took two of Clarissa’s dresses and a pair of her riding boots. I put those items in the sack that I used for collecting dirty clothing. My mother returned to Mr. Allen that night. She said that he had complained that he had a headache and pain in his chest. I went to the stables and asked Mr. Allen’s coachman if he had a knapsack that he could spare. I told him that I needed one for my return to Talladega.