Emotions Series 03 Forgotten Emotions Read online

B'Elanna offered him a small smile. That question had answered her fears. He clearly did not remember the last three years. She tried not to cry as she answered him, "In the Vidiian prison, Tom. You showed a whole new side you yourself. After that, I knew there was more to you than you let on."

  Tom stared at her confused, "Enough to marry me?"

  B'Elanna smiled, "No. I was about to marry another a couple years later...."

  "Wait. What do you mean a couple years later? What year is this?"

  B'Elanna looked at the Captain. The look in her eyes told the engineer that she too, had her fears confirmed. Janeway slowly answered him, "The year is 2374."

  Tom gaped at them both. Four years had gone by!? He shook his head. He couldn't have been out that long, but then how could have married B'Elanna. The drugs that witch gave him must have wiped out his entire memory of the past three years. He groaned as the realization of his predicament hit him. Would he ever regain those memories?

  "It's all right, Tom," Janeway assured him, "You'll regain your memories in time."

  Tom didn't look at either of them. Three years?! He had lost three years! Burying his face in his hands, he tried to not to cry out in frustration. He forced himself to calm down as he attempted to collect his thoughts. Worse things had happened to him, and the Captain was right, he might regain his memories eventually. He just hoped it didn't take another three years to do so.

  B'Elanna felt miserable. Her husband had regained only some of his memories. She should be happy that he had regained them. B'Elanna didn't know when or if he would ever get the rest of his memories back. She wasn't patient enough to wait another couple months or even years, no matter how long it took for him to remember. She closed her eyes as a thought occurred to her: she would just have to start over with him. They got together before, and it was destined that they be together again.

  The engineer turned to Janeway and said softly, "May I speak with you a moment, Captain?"

  Janeway looked first at B'Elanna then at Tom, who was still trying to get his emotions under control. She finally nodded and stepped away from the biobed.

  "What it is, B'Elanna?" Janeway asked.

  B'Elanna took a breath and let it out slowly. She then nodded to herself and spoke, "I know it will be difficult for him, Captain. It may be worse this time around, now that he has regained some of his memories. He'll be frustrated twice as much with people trying to get him to remember things. I want him to move back in with me and the boys. I know it will be a shock, but hopefully not as big a shock as last time."

  Janeway looked at the pilot. The Doctor and administered a sedative and he had finally fallen asleep. The Doctor hovered over him running tests. She then looked back at B'Elanna, "You want my advice?"

  B'Elanna sighed. That's exactly what she wanted. She was at a loss and didn't know what to do. Engines, she could fix with no problems, but this, she had no idea. All she knew was that she wanted Tom near her. She nodded her head.

  "He will be quite surprised and confused that you are living together. He only remembers his first year on this ship. I feel that, it would be too sudden for him to move in with you. He needs to take it slow and readjust to Voyager. I will assign him his own quarters. You can visit him of course. He'll need patience and understanding, B'Elanna. Don't push him into trying to remember. You'll only frustrate him and yourself."

  B'Elanna offered a smile, "Understanding I can do, but patience was never my strong suit."

  Janeway returned the smile, "I know. You will have to work on that. Hopefully, helping Tom will help you learn patience."

  B'Elanna nodded, "I'll be back for him when the Doctor releases him."

  "That's a good idea."

  *****

  Two hours later, B'Elanna entered Sickbay. This time, she was pushing a stroller with her twin boys in it. She knew she had to introduce them to Tom. He would be seeing a lot of them in the coming days. She knew this would be a huge shock, but she hoped he wouldn't be too upset.

  The Doctor came up to her with a curious look on his face, "And what are you expecting from him by showing the boys to him?" he asked.

  B'Elanna stared at him, "Tom needs to know he's a father, Doctor. It would be unfair of me and everyone else to keep this little fact from him. Also, it might help him come to terms that he's a husband as well. Maybe, he might remember something."

  The EMH rolled his eyes, "I wouldn't hold my breath, Lt. Torres. It might be a very long time before he remembers anything."

  B'Elanna refrained from snarling and pushed the stroller toward the biobed Tom was sitting on. By the look Tom was giving her, he probably heard some pieces of the conversation she had with the Doctor. She suddenly became very nervous, but she refused to show it.

  "Hello, Tom," she said softly, "I've brought you some visitors."

  "Since when did we have two little boys on Voyager?" he asked. Then he noticed the slight ridges on their forehead and look at B'Elanna. He rubbed his own forehead. "They're your children, B'Elanna?" He couldn't believe that B'Elanna was actually a mother.

  "Actually, Tom, there are our sons. They're our twins."

  "I can see that they are twins," Tom blurted, "But I have sons!? They're mine!?"

  B'Elanna could have laughed at Tom's surprised expression. It was almost the same as the expression when she first told him he was going to be a father. She smiled slightly and continued, "Yes, Tom. They're yours and mine."

  Tom stared at her. He was a father? He suddenly had the urge to sit down. His head was spinning again. He closed his eyes and calmed himself as this news sank into his head. So much had happened that he didn't remember. He wondered again if he would remember them at all. After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked at B'Elanna. Concern was evident in her dark eyes. Eyes that had struck him the first time he saw them.

  "What are their names?" Tom asked, softly.

  B'Elanna nodded, "Their names are Lucas K'Lar and Kyle D'Trem."

  "There's you Dada, boys," B'Elanna picked up the two children in her arms. They looked about fourteen months old. He gasped when they turned to look at him. They were beautiful. He could make out the faint Klingon ridges more clearly on their foreheads. One boy had dark hair the other blonde.

  "The dark haired one is named Lucas and the blonde is Kyle," B'Elanna said as she went to him. Tom could see that their eyes were also different. Kyle had B'Elanna's dark brown eyes while Lucas had blue ones. He looked at her and she smiled.

  "They're beautiful, B'Elanna," Tom whispered, his voice almost breaking.

  B'Elanna smiled. She heard the catch in his voice. He probably never thought he would have children someday. He probably thought he'd never marry, either. This must have come to him as one big surprise. No wonder he thought he was in another universe.

  "I've come up with something for the three of you to do while re-bonding," B'Elanna mentioned, changing the subject, "It's ready for you when you are, Tom."

  Tom looked at her. This was all very new to him and sudden. Since she was willing to make it as easy for him as possible, he should at least try. Tom nodded and a smile crept across her face. She looked incredibly beautiful to the pilot then. He hardly remembered her smiling like that. She must have learned to smile during the three years he missed. If only he could remember.

  "Would you like to go now?" B'Elanna asked.

  Tom smiled, "Why not? I would love to see what you came up with."

  The half-Klingon rolled her eyes. She could tell that his sense of humor was starting to return. At least, she learned to appreciate his humor even when he was trying to cheer her up. She was quite grateful that his humor was returning. It gave her hope that the rest was sure to follow.

  The family headed toward the holodeck a few minutes later, B'Elanna could tell he was nervous and confused, but he wasn't at all near the terrified submissive Tom that they rescued from Daylia. If anything, he was almost normal. If one considered that he was hiding behind that mask of his normal. She knew be
tter, though.

  "Here we are," B'Elanna said, stopping at the doors to the holodeck. She called up the program and the doors slid open. She turned to him and saw surprise flash across his eyes, though his expression was calm.

  Tom followed her inside. He looked around at his surroundings to find himself in a zoo. The sounds and smells of animals were all around. He turned back to B'Elanna, an expression of puzzlement on his face.

  "We're at the San Diego Zoo back on Earth," B'Elanna explained, "It's actually Harry's program for the boys. I thought it would be great for you and them to get to know each other again."

  Tom smiled slightly. He then looked around at the park. It was early afternoon, yet there was hardly any visitors about. B'Elanna must have wanted them to get to know each other again with minimal distraction. He then looked back at her and nodded.

  "It's very nice," he said, a little unsure, "Quite realistic."

  B'Elanna smiled as she picked up one of the boys, "Harry keeps saying he's picked up some pointers from you."

  That got her a real smile from him, she suddenly felt herself become weak. B'Elanna had almost forgotten what that smile and those eyes could do to her. Suddenly, the reason she had forgotten came to her. She bitterly cursed Daylia again. The half-Klingon was glad that the woman got what she deserved. She was angry, though she wished she had been the one that killed her.

  "B'Elanna?" Tom asked, noticing her grimace.

  B'Elanna jumped. She stared at him and saw his concerned expression. She smiled weakly and said, "I'm all right, Tom. Just a bad memory assaulted me. It's gone now."

  Tom looked at her, his concern still there, "I'm sorry, B'Elanna."

  "It's all right, Tom." She then handed Kyle to him, "Why don't you take them, Tom. I have to go to Engineering. It might give you a chance to rebond with them."

  Tom stared at her. She trusted him enough to leave the children with him? He found himself nodding as he took the boys in his arms. Sitting down on a bench, he looked at one boy then the other. He still couldn't get over the idea that these were his sons. It felt like he was dreaming, then he dismissed that idea. If this was a dream, he would have been a whole lot happier than this. And a lot less confused.

  Tom reached out and touched the ridges on each forehead. They giggled and he found himself smiling. Lucas reached out and gently pulled Tom's hair.

  "Dada," Tom's breath caught at the sound of that. Staring into the piercing blue eyes, he swore he saw himself looking back. He suddenly felt the sting of tears well up in his eyes. He tried to force them away, but he felt one slid down his cheek.

  B'Elanna watched as Tom embraced Lucas and Kyle. She could barely see the tears coming down his face as he hugged his sons. She smiled softly as the feeling of hope filled her heart.

  *One day, Tom, you will remember everything and I will have my husband back.*

  The End

  Please email the authors and let them know if you liked the story.

  Marleena — [email protected]

  PJ in NH — [email protected]

  Special thanks to Isabelle S. and Amanda B. for their help in the French translation.