All I Ever Wanted Read online

  I was still afraid of being booed off stage, but I was even more nervous about facing someone I’d successfully avoided for the past year. No doubt he would be at the festival this year. And I couldn’t very well just hide in the crowd since I was going to be on stage.

  Jubby reached forward to turn down the radio. My eyes lingered on his tan, muscular forearm before trailing up his thick-banded biceps to the black T-shirt straining against his broad chest.

  A few other things had changed in the past few years. As soon as we were old enough to make our own money, my once-pale, chunky, glasses-wearing best friend got contacts and a job with his uncle’s roofing company.

  And day-um. Roofing did a body good. Not that I’d noticed or anything.

  “They’re not going to boo you,” he said softly. “Believe it or not, most of them have grown up since the ninth grade.”

  My fists clenched and I turned to glare at him. “Oh yeah? Just because you got all buff and fucked all the cheerleaders who gave you hell, suddenly they’re the salt of the Earth?”

  So maybe I was still slightly bitter.

  He shook his head. I couldn’t see his clear blue-green eyes behind his aviators, but I would’ve bet they were gleaming with amusement. Yuck it up, assface.

  “I didn’t fuck all of them. Some I just let blow me.” He shrugged, and his words did something to me I wasn’t expecting. I was pissed and annoyed and…something I didn’t have a name for. It was a twisty, weird emotion I wasn’t familiar with and didn’t care for at all. The urge to slap that smirk straight off his face nearly overtook me.

  “Lucky girls.” I snorted and turned The Lumineers back up. Because I knew it bugged the hell out of him, I reared my seat back and propped my feet on the dashboard.

  Jubb turned the radio down once more. Apparently aggravating me to death was on his list of things to do today. “Stop making it about them. Treat this like every other show. Sing your ass off and if they don’t like it, to hell with ‘em.”

  Right. It wasn’t like I’d spent my entire adolescence trying to find myself in the approval of the same faces that were probably about to sneer at me as I bared my soul on stage. No pressure.

  I bit the skin off the side of my thumb and kept my gaze trained on the view out the window. Cows. Corn. More corn. It blurred by, reminding me of a scene from Forrest Gump, even though I hadn’t seen that movie since I was twelve years old.

  Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far, far away.

  Justin

  Everly was dead set on pouting all the way to Abbott Springs. Sometimes she was a real pain in the ass. And by sometimes, I meant pretty much all the time. But she was a hot pain in the ass, and she was mine. Sort of.

  Keeping my eyes on the road while her long, smooth legs were stretched out next to me was no easy task. I took a drink of my Rockstar in hopes of distracting myself. But when she stretched her arms up and her tiny white tank top lifted just enough to reveal a thin strip of her waist, I damn near ran off into a ditch. The things I could do to just that strip of skin alone. My tongue slid across my lips at the thought. The thumping of the van as I dropped a tire off the paved edge of the road startled me back to reality.

  “Get your damned feet off the dash,” I barked at her. “And put your fucking seatbelt on.” She jumped, and I felt like a dick. But at least I didn’t hit a tree. Arrive alive and all that.

  I heard her grumbling under her breath, probably calling me an assface or something equally endearing.

  “You two fight like an old married couple,” Dax announced from the back, where he was trying to get some sleep before we got back home. “Just hump each other already.”

  “Shut it, drummer boy,” Everly snapped at him.

  This whole performing in Abbott Springs thing had her on edge. Usually she was just bitchy to me. She shot me a go-to-hell look as she buckled her seatbelt. “Maybe you should back off the ‘roids, Jubb. Thank God I peed at the last gas station. Otherwise I would’ve needed new pants.”

  Ah, there was my girl.

  I snorted in her direction but didn’t bother arguing. I didn’t take steroids and she knew this. Ever since I’d started working with my uncle’s company in tenth grade, I’d put on some major muscle mass. She pretended not to notice, but she wasn’t as smooth as she thought. Or maybe it was wishful thinking on my part.

  Seemed like every other girl at Abbott Springs High School stood up (or kneeled down in some cases—I was completely serious earlier) and took notice when my appearance had changed for the better. But Everly still treated me the same. I got fucking friend-zoned in the sixth grade and damn if I could figure out how to break free.

  Sometimes I wondered what she’d do if I just kissed the living shit out of her one day. But knowing her, she’d slap me so hard I’d spit teeth. Everly liked to be in control. That was why she was stressing her ass off about this gig back home and why I hadn’t made a move. And then there was the band. Pursuing anything more than friendship with Ev meant risking the band breaking up if it didn’t work out.

  I didn’t know which hurt worse—the thought of never letting her know how I felt about her or the thought of losing the only good thing in my life.

  Roofing was my real, look-Mom-I’m-a-grown-up job. It paid the rent for my shitty apartment and my truck payment. It was hard work, but I just shut down everything in my head and did it. Mindless physical labor. There was definitely something to be said for it. Hell if I knew what that something was though.

  Our band, Internal Insurrection, was what kept me alive. Sane. It was what I looked forward to and what mattered.

  On her thirteenth birthday, Everly had declared out of nowhere that she wanted to start a band. Naturally, being the bitch boy of hers I’d always been, I used all my years of saved-up odd-job money to buy a guitar and pay for lessons. When I got tired of the lessons, I got online and taught myself the rest.

  Senior year, we’d met Dax in a dive bar in Columbus. He had a van and was a drummer for a band that was breaking up because the other members were going to college. Thus, Internal Insurrection was born.

  Somehow it had become bigger than us. Bigger than a couple of kids playing around in the garage. At our last few shows, we’d been approached by managers and even a few small record labels.

  I gripped the steering wheel so tight to keep from reaching over and putting my hand on her knee that my knuckles ached. As much as I wanted to comfort her, I knew if I ever touched her like that I wouldn’t be able to stop. A hand on the knee would turn to a hand on her inner thigh. Which would turn to… Jesus. I could not go there while operating a motor vehicle. Think of the band, dude.

  We were on the brink of something huge, and in a way, it was fucking terrifying. What was even more terrifying was that every second of the day I knew I was one wrong move from ruining all of it. From destroying Ev’s dream of the band making it big before she’d even had a chance to live it.

  Everly

  This place made everyone act strange. I swear it was Twilight Zone material. One minute Jubb was cool and the next he was snapping my head off. I wondered how long it had been since he’d gotten laid. Too long, obviously.

  The moment we passed the Welcome to Abbott Springs: A Friendly Family Community. Population 3,564 sign, shit got weird. Fast.

  Tires screeched to a halt as Jubb slammed down on the brakes. Two older ladies carrying pies walked right out in front of us on Main Street. Jubb muttered a curse under his breath.

  We were all tired from being out late last night after our show in Cleveland. We never expected to be playing in Abbott Springs tonight. At least, I sure as hell didn’t. I’d sworn on everything holy—and a few unholy things—that I’d never subject myself to the humiliation that was playing music in this godforsaken place.

  Dax was snoring loudly when we pulled into the parking lot behind Grandpa Abbott’s Hardware store.

  “I’m going to jump in the back and change really fast. Keep an eye out,” I t
old Jubb. Climbing out, I nearly fell on my face when my feet hit the gravel. At first I thought I was just stiff from the ride. But when I went to take a step, my ankle twisted so hard I cried out in pain. “Ow! Holy Mother! Christ almighty!”

  Before I had time to figure out what the hell I’d stepped on, Jubb appeared at my side. It was dusk, so he was no longer wearing his sunglasses. Wide, ocean-colored eyes gaped at me in concern. “What the hell, Ev? You scared me to death.”

  We both looked down. The heel on my knock-off designer boot was broken. Well, you get what you pay for, I guess.

  “Damn. I loved this pair.”

  “Screw the shoes. How’s your ankle?”

  “Fine,” I said, yanking off the broken boot and stepping down. “Ah! Oh hell, no, no, not fine.” I winced in pain. “Do you think my ankle could be broken?” Please say yes. Then we wouldn’t have to perform in the seventh circle of hell.

  “Naw. Probably good and twisted though. Here, hop on.” He turned and presented me with his backside. And what a backside it was. Jesus. There was definitely something in the air here if I was checking out Jubby’s ass.

  After grabbing an old pair of flip-flops from the back seat, I jumped onto his back. He shifted me up a little and then hooked his arms under my knees.

  Dax finally came to, probably from all of my screaming in pain. He ambled out of the van as we headed up to the stage where we’d be performing later. He lugged most of the equipment over to the barn all by himself. A few townies passing by helped with the rest. Younger guys that seemed to recognize us but I couldn’t name a single one.

  Surprisingly, Dax made no comment about Jubb carrying me. Gripping him entirely too hard, I tried to keep my breathing normal. I didn’t know what was freaking me out more—the fact that we were doing this show in the place I’d swore I’d never perform in less than an hour or the fact that my lady parts were all over my best friend’s back and it was doing things to me.

  I really hoped he couldn’t feel that.

  Just before we made it to the barn where we’d be performing, I saw my grandpa and mom. “Put me down,” I whispered urgently into Jubb’s ear. I had a skirt on, and the last thing I needed was my granddad going off about me showing my ass to the entire town.

  He lowered me gently, careful to ease me onto my non-injured ankle. “How’s it feel?”

  For a moment I was struck stupid by the heat in his eyes. It feels good. Damn good. Pick me back up and carry me the hell out of here. “How does what feel?”

  His eyebrows arched up and then slanted downward as he looked at me like I was losing it. Maybe I was. “The ankle?”

  Right. “A little sore. Nothing I can’t handle. But…oh wait. Shit. I don’t have any other shoes in the van.” Great, now I would have to perform while limping in flip-flops. This show was going to rock. Look out, Abbott Springs.

  “Dax can set up, and I’ll run you by your house.”

  Before I could say anything in response, my mom caught sight of us and made a beeline away from Pops. “Everly Willow Abbott, you’re late!” she called out.

  “Good to see you too, Mom,” I answered as she tackle-hugged me. Christ. This woman.

  “I’ve been bragging to everyone! I can’t wait to see you knock ’em dead.”

  I forced a smile. “Careful what you say. Some of these people are really old, Ma.”

  She laughed, tossing her thick, dark hair off her shoulder. I always wondered why I couldn’t look more like her. Dark. Mysterious. Gorgeous. I had too much Abbott in me.

  Despite the rumors spread by townies that I wasn’t really Everett Abbott’s daughter, one look at me said I definitely belonged to one of them. I had their green eyes, olive skin, and deep red hair. Though mine was a shade darker than most of theirs, probably due to the few drops of my mom’s DNA I was lucky enough to get.

  “Well, are you guys ready to start tuning up or whatever you do?” she asked. She gave Jubb and Dax each a one-armed hug. Jubb pretty much grew up at my house because his dad was a major dickwad, but she’d only met Dax once before. Didn’t matter. Mom was a hugger.

  “Um, actually I have to run by the house and grab some shoes. My heel broke.” I gestured down to my bare feet.

  “We should probably ice that ankle as long as we can, too,” Jubb chimed in.

  “What happened?” My mom launched into crazy mother hen mode 6.0 and started bending down to assess my injury.

  “Nothing, Ma. It’s fine.”

  I assured her I was really okay for a few more minutes before Jubb gave Dax the instructions for soundcheck.

  We probably had forty minutes or so until we should be warming up for real. My heartbeat sped up at the realization. I really wished Bree would get here already. I knew from her texts that she was already in town. She had to be around here somewhere.

  Jubby was my best friend. He knew me better than anyone. Got me. But Bree was the sister I never had. She rarely missed an Internal Insurrection show. In fact, she was the one who had come up with the name for the band. And designed the cover art for our demo.

  I was pretty sure she was no more excited about being back in Abbott Springs than I was. But she’d promised she’d come, so I knew she would. And while her friends Maya and Sami were always nice to me, I wondered sometimes if they just tolerated me because she loved me so much.

  My mom started in about getting some ice on my ankle so I backed up out of her reach. “Really, I’m fine. I’m going to run by the house real quick and grab some shoes. If I’m not here by show time, you can fill in for me.”

  She grinned and shook her head. “Well, be careful. But get a move on. Soon there won’t be any parking left.”

  I reassured my mom for what felt like the hundredth time that I was really okay and she returned to helping the ladies decorating the barn for the show.

  Dax chatted briefly with a friend of Jubb’s who had come to help us out, and they headed off to the stage area to work with the organizers.

  I turned to Jubb. “I can probably walk to my house from here. You can stay with Dax.”

  His forehead winkled. “How ‘bout no, Captain Crazy Pants. I’ll carry you again if you want, or we can take the van and risk losing our parking spot. But over my dead body are you walking on that ankle—and damn sure not alone.”

  “Seriously—I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.” It was Abbott Springs, for God’s sakes. Not the streets of Harlem.

  “You can say that again,” a male voice piped up from behind me. I closed my eyes in an attempt to keep my world from spinning too fast. My blood ran cold as chills broke out over my skin. I’d know that voice anywhere.

  Kennedy Hale, the mayor’s son and Abbott Springs’ very own Golden Boy extraordinaire, stood behind us. Swallowing hard, I turned to face him. There was dark stubble on his face and his dark hair was longer than I remembered, flopping to one side like he was planning to audition for a boy band later tonight. The bright white polo shirt he wore fit him, snug in all the right places, as did his khaki pants.

  “Okay, I will,” I said, forcing the widest smile I could manage. God, I couldn’t believe this guy still had this effect on me. “I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.” I barely managed to leave off the word asshole. My gaze slid over to Jubb, who looked like he was about to murder someone.

  He and Bree were the only ones who knew what had happened at this very same festival last year. They both promised they’d never mention it to anyone, and they hadn’t. But the look on Jubb’s face was making it pretty obvious that he hadn’t forgotten.

  “Breathe, Jubb,” I said under my breath so only he could hear.

  He cut his eyes to me for a split second, a muscle in his jaw clenching as he did. I gave him a slight shake of my head.

  “Long time no see, Pinky,” Kennedy said, stepping close enough to touch a pink strand of my hair. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Whiskey, probably bourbon if I had to guess.

  There was a lot less pink in m
y hair than there had been in high school. Just a few streaks in the front now, mixed in with some blond highlights. But he’d always called me Pink or Pinky. It used to be cute, made me feel special. Now it just grated on my already exposed nerves.

  “Shame. I’ve missed you terribly,” I deadpanned.

  “Meet me at the lake later?”

  Fuck. Him. Well, not literally. Did that already. Last year. At the lake. My first—and last—time. He was a dick for having the nerve to even say that to me. It was a serious struggle to control my breathing. “Pass,” was all I could manage to get out.

  Jubb stepped between us so fast he nearly knocked me over. “We gotta get going if we’re going to run by your house.”

  Seeing the two of them that close, I realized Jubb was bigger than Kennedy. When had that happened? He wasn’t really taller, but he was definitely broader. And he kind of looked like he might’ve been planning to beat Kennedy Hale to a bloody stump. I tugged his arm and pulled him back.

  “You’re right. We should go. Great seeing you, Ken,” I called out even though I couldn’t see him around Jubb.

  Kennedy let out a harsh laugh as we started to leave. “Oh, it’s like that with you two now?”

  Jubb’s muscles went rigid under my hand. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” He whirled out of my grip and turned back to face the asshole of Abbott Springs.

  Kennedy didn’t appear at all fazed by Jubb coming at him. But he did hold his hands up in a gesture of mock innocence. “Hey, man. It’s cool. Just be warned, she’s a screamer.”

  The walls of my small world, the ones I’d been working so hard to hold up since the moment we’d stepped foot back in this town, caved. Just like that. Jubb’s eyes met mine and I knew he could feel my pain. The shame. The humiliation.