Love’s Unselfish Gift Read online

  He looked over Alanzo’s shoulder. “Suzy?”

  “Mark,” I said.

  “All right, now that we’ve said a few names and thought several others we don’t need to say aloud,” Alanzo scoffed and then quickly added, “Where’s Mom?”

  “I took her back to Suzy’s, err…Marco’s…the cottage. She’s going to catch up with you later tonight.”

  “Then why did you come back here, buddy? Did you forget something?”

  “No,” he stated flatly. “I just came back to check on Suzy,” he added, giving me a disapproving glare. “And I brought over some dinner too, of course.”

  “As you can see, she’s fine.”

  Alanzo had dressed quickly while I found a silk robe in the closet, shrugging into the sheer material right before Alanzo greeted our visitor. Mark’s gaze drifted over me, settling on my chest. At one time, his lust-filled eyes would’ve turned me on and even provoked me into seduction. Not now.

  Mark belonged to Cassie. I didn’t have the slightest interest in finding him under my sheets again. The hurt and bitterness may have been water under the bridge, but I didn’t want to go back and swim where I would most likely drown.

  Cassie and I had a tough time putting the past behind us, but somewhere along the way, thanks to Marco, we’d become good friends again, remembering why we enjoyed one another in the first place. No one made me laugh harder than Cassie. A girl in bed with three sexy men had something going for her.

  “Suzy, why don’t you get dressed and come downstairs? Cassie sent over a lot of food, and after your drinking binge, you need to eat something.”

  “I can take care of her.”

  Mark bit back an outright snarl. “I’m sure you can, but, you see, Suzy and I were married for a number of years. I know what she needs right now and what she doesn’t need is her dead husband’s twin trying to take advantage of her.”

  A little woozy all of a sudden, I grabbed the bedpost and tried to steady myself. Rather than make it obvious I still felt the ramifications of the alcohol, I sat down on the bed.

  “For crying out loud,” Mark said, refusing to let a stumble slide. “She’s still drunk!”

  Obviously, my attempt didn’t work.

  Alanzo looked at me with guilt in his eyes. He appeared mortified, like he just took a bottle from a malnourished baby.

  “Don’t,” I warned. I knew what we were doing after all. I wasn’t so toasted that I didn’t understand where we were headed when he laid me down.

  “This is how you show your respect for your dead brother? Come in and grope his wife?”

  “My brother is dead,” he reminded softly. “I didn’t ask Suzy to do anything she didn’t want to do.”

  “Well then, making your first play didn’t take you long, did it Suzy?”

  “It’s been over a year and a half, Mark.” I’d like to see him try living without sex for more than a week, much less nineteen months.

  “I guess you’re back to your old capers now that you have someone interested enough to bed you down and do ya dirty, huh?”

  “That’s enough,” Alanzo warned.

  I stormed across the room and headed straight into my walk-in closet. I stared at the clothes I now didn’t recognize as my own. The price tags still hung loosely from the sleeves of designer blouses and overpriced evening gowns. Boxes of shoes never worn lined the top shelves. I couldn’t even find a pair of old house slippers.

  Returning to the bedroom, I said, “Mark, you had one purpose in coming back here.”

  “What?” he acted offended. I understood my ex well enough to know his response was, in fact, part of a well-practiced act. I couldn’t get under his skin if I tried.

  “I brought your dinner or did you forget that was my purpose for leaving in the first place?”

  And here I thought he left me alone with Alanzo so I could get fucked. Silly me.

  I teetered across the room to explain to Mark one of the reasons why I didn’t want him there right then—Cassie—but since my head felt like a watermelon, I didn’t bother.

  “Get dressed, Suzy,” Mark ordered.

  “Get in bed,” Alanzo suggested. “I’ll bring you a plate.”

  Mark and Alanzo stood nose to nose.

  “She doesn’t need this right now, man,” Mark said.

  “This is exactly what she needs,” Alanzo assured him. “I’m what she needs.”

  “I don’t have a right to say either way,” Mark snapped. “It’s none of my business.”

  “That’s the smartest thing you’ve said all day,” I remarked. “You don’t have a right. You gave up your rights to any opinions several years ago or should I refresh your memory with a little instant replay of what happened way back then?” Maybe I could dig out our divorce decree too and provide a written refresher.

  “I still care about you, Suzy. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

  “Well that’s sweet, sort of thoughtful,” I said, trying to add a bit of sincerity but unable to find true appreciation while my body still burned for another Alanzo touch.

  Mark shot bullet glares back and forth between us for a few quiet and very uncomfortable moments. “So be it,” he said. “Have it your way.” With a frown, he added, “If you do anything to hurt her, you’ll answer to me.”

  “I’ll never hurt her.”

  “And don’t get too cozy here. You’re not a permanent fixture in her life. Suzy has friends here. Close friends,” he added with an exaggerated drawl. “She doesn’t need you or anyone in your family coming here and confusing her.”

  “I’m not confused,” I said. Horny, sadly enough, but not necessarily stunned by it, not after thinking things through and sorting out my emotions.

  I kept trying to convince myself I was ready to make this next step. Correction, this huge leap.

  “Suzy, you’re kidding yourself here,” Mark said. “Look at him,” he added pointedly. “He’s a walking, talking clone of Marco.” He shot Alanzo another damning glare. “Hell, it pains me to stand next to him. I can only imagine what seeing him does to you.”

  No, actually, he couldn’t.

  Not quite ready to give it up, he said, “Why don’t you get dressed and come home with me? Cassie and the kids would love to have you spend a few days with us.”

  “Oh, sure they would,” I said. “Maybe you, Steve, and Corby can make room for me in that big old bed of yours, too, while you’re so hell bent on taking care of me. Why don’t we just schedule a good old-fashioned orgy over there?”

  “Suzy,” he said softly. “This isn’t about me and you.”

  It was always about me and him. If it wasn’t, he wouldn’t have mentioned the us-factor.

  Whenever Mark came marching back into my life, he tried to control me through his sound advice and empty plans for my future. He’d gotten worse since Marco died, like he found it necessary to step back into the role of concerned ex-husband. He pretended he was the right person to make all of the pain go away even though he once caused the majority of my heartaches.

  “Go home to Cassie, Mark. Go home to your shared woman and your munchkins and love them with everything you have inside of you, because no one knows what tomorrow holds, not even you.”

  Exasperated, I went into the bathroom and stared into the tub. I didn’t see my future floating around in the deep water, so I felt for the chain attached to the plug and pulled the brass links. Watching the water drain until the last swirl disappeared, I sat in the bathroom and waited for Mark to leave.

  About ten minutes later, Alanzo stood in the doorway. “Come to bed, Suzy.”

  I stared at him blankly.

  “I fixed a tray with everything Mark told me you’d eat. Come on, let’s enjoy a quiet dinner and talk for a bit.”

  “Talk?”

  “Yes,” he said. “I think it’s something we need to do before things get out of hand between us.”

  I stared at him blankly. “Things are already spinning out of contr
ol and you know it.” I eyed his cock just to make sure I could easily see the bulge pressing tightly against the seams of his pants. I didn’t want him to have second thoughts.

  If Alanzo backed up and reconsidered now, I might put out a restraining order on Mark. Legal action had been taken before and Mark should’ve been tried and convicted after what he interrupted. Of course, lawyers and cops ignored legal documents whenever a PFC player flashed a little cash.

  “You weren’t so interested in chatting a little while ago,” I told him.

  “I didn’t realize you were drunk until Mark said—”

  “Mark said,” I bellowed. “I’m sick of hearing what Mark said. What about what I say? Huh? What about what I want?”

  Alanzo remained calm. “Do you even know what you want, Suzy?” His dark eyes scoured over me and I took the lead. Maybe I shouldn’t have but at the same time, I had wants and desires, needs as a woman. I pushed back my robe and felt the bounce in my breasts when I threw my arms down to my sides.

  Exasperated, I exclaimed, “Yes, Alanzo. I do! I want you. Damn it to hell, I don’t want to need you, but here I stand all the same. I found you irresistible when Marco was alive but somehow resisted you. I hated myself for refusing to ask him, but at the same time, I should’ve taken the plunge. I should’ve told him how I felt and asked him to bring you into our relationship. We could’ve had a good life together, the three of us and now…”

  He took a few cautious steps and looped his arm around my waist. “And now what, sweetheart?”

  A sob broke free and the tears followed. “And now it’s just me and you. I should feel guilty. I should feel ashamed, but when I look at you all I want to do is hold you…and…”

  His mouth crashed against mine and his tongue worked its way into the depths of my mouth, kissing away the last of my words. Those were the syllables I didn’t need to utter. He caressed my behind with one hand while the other cupped my breast, catching the fullness and drawing my nipple to his lips.

  He left my chest and kissed a moist path straight down my stomach, backing against the stool in front of the dressing table before taking a seat. Eye level to my belly button, he brought my leg forward, encouraging the bend. Then, dragging my body to his, he kissed my mound with soft, hungry lips. His meaty tongue dipped inside my folds for a split second.

  Gasping when that was all he offered, I eyed him, wondering why he changed his mind. With my hand working its way through his hair, I waited for him to explain why he stopped.

  Alanzo patted the marble top vanity. “Sit here.”

  Enough said. Swallowing hard, I allowed him to help me take a seat, feeling like a china doll he’d just placed on a shelf. My legs parted when my feet hit the cushion topping the bench.

  His hot gaze lingered at my pussy. Pressing my hand against his cheek, I slid my palm down his rough beard and, in doing so, positioned his head right where I wanted it.

  I needed him to lick me. I wanted him to taste my sex and lap at me like he’d waited days, weeks, months, and, yes, even years, to devour me. And he had. We’d both waited for the right time.

  Wrong as it may have been, now was the right time.

  “Ah, Suzy,” he whispered, nuzzling my leg before inching closer to my opening. “Ah, sweet Suzy. You’re so perfect.” He said, smacking his lips over my clit. “That’s my girl. Let me have you just like this.”

  Those were the last words I heard him speak until after I rode one climax, and then my body slammed right into another. Afterward, his fingers and lips commanded one more while his guttural sounds turned into carnal and explicit words of encouragement. It was then that I realized Alanzo Giovanni would continue to be in my life for a very long time.

  * * * *

  Receiving oral sex from Alanzo was like free falling from the highest point found in any open sky. His tongue plunged deep and right when my orgasm rolled over me, he sank still deeper, flicking the tip of his tongue so rapidly I thought I’d die from the sensation alone. The rush was exhilarating, but the fall right before another building climactic moment proved indescribable.

  A man in his twenties shouldn’t have been allowed to push a woman in her forties to such limits. His tongue should’ve had a warning label attached to the tip, maybe even a white flag, or better still…an ear-piercing alarm.

  One time with him and I was hooked. One moment like this and he was mine.

  When he withdrew from my pussy, his hand went to his zipper and he freed himself. I wanted him in my mouth and longed to return the favor, but instead, he grabbed my legs and rubbed the head of his dick up and down my inner thigh, inching toward my vagina while allowing his pants to fall to his feet.

  “I’m not putting a rubber on, and you’re not asking me to,” he said.

  “I’m not on the pill,” I blurted out.

  “And I don’t give a damn,” he said, releasing a masculine growl and then pressing his lips to mine in order to prevent further protest while feeding the growing hunger.

  His tongue worked in a magical way, in and out of my mouth with timed precision. Then, he added his cock to the equation, not waiting for me to make up my mind about protection and obviously oblivious to my concerns.

  He thrust inside me and pulled back, looking at me long enough to gauge the pain and the lust. Both existed and I’m sure he found precisely what he thought he’d see.

  “Alanzo, don’t,” I said, locking my ankles behind his back. “Just take me. Right now, just fuck me like I’m the only one here.”

  “You are the only one here, baby.”

  No, no, don’t do that, I thought. Don’t try to make this about Marco. I slapped the palms of my hands against the vanity while he pulled me toward him and then eased me back.

  Our bodies found a tempo, his cock found a beat, and my hips rolled with the rhythm. We were moving to music we couldn’t hear, dancing to the erotic pleasure we were destined to meet.

  Looking down at the joining of our bodies, the eroticism lit the kind of fire not easily contained. His thick shaft coated in my moisture while he slid in and out of my body. I watched him retreat and enter again, draw back and thrust again.

  “Ah, Suzy,” he growled, picking up his pace and gazing down too. “That’s right,” he chanted, working his hips. “Give me what I need, lover,” he encouraged, pushing himself higher into my channel. “Close around me, baby. Ah, yeah, that’s right. What a tight pussy. Fuck me, honey. I’m yours. You’ve got me wrapped, sugar.”

  The things he said turned things up a notch. The heat went from mild to hot to a smoldering intensity. I completely lost my ability to speak and couldn’t watch him fuck me. All I could do was enjoy the slapping of bodies, the pleasure building. The lust he spun drove me crazy and hooked me for more.

  “Look at me,” he whispered, placing his hands on my waist and continuing to sway one way and then another, rotating me around his thick dick and grinding ever so slowly.

  Alanzo was a dangerous lover. Watching the lust wash over his face and settle in his eyes made me eager. His loving empowered me.

  “That’s it. Make love to me, only me. Fuck me, baby. Love me like I love you. Oh God, Suzy, I’ve always loved you.”

  And there it was. The half-hearted promise I felt confident he’d eventually give. The words I longed to hear and yet feared receiving all the same.

  Squeezing my legs around his hips, I drew him in and rode him. I’d missed this kind of connection, the rippling sensation found in the friction when a hard cock rubbed against vaginal walls. He fingered my nipples and looked on with such admiration, like he lost himself in a solitary touch or one more hard push.

  “Don’t stop, Alanzo. Never stop,” I begged, milking his cock until I felt him jerk and then stop all together. He slowly withdrew and held himself at the base, careful to maintain some form of discipline, some kind of control.

  “Wait,” he growled, latching his mouth over mine and kissing me hard on the lips.

  “No,” I s
aid defiantly. I’d played the part of submissive partner with Marco. I did what he asked because he needed to dominate me. I wasn’t stepping into the same role again, not for Alanzo or anyone else.

  With only slight hesitation, he slowly inched his way inside me once more. With a sigh, I rotated my hips forward, slapping my hands against his thighs.

  “God, yeah, I’m coming!” I exclaimed. “Right there, oh, yes, there! Harder! Damn it, please…fuck me harder.”

  I’d never talked to Marco with such provocation oozing from my lips. Alanzo inspired me. There were so many things I wanted to say to him. I felt the need to say them all at once on the chance this moment was the only intimate one we shared.

  Sweat rolled off his brow and his thighs bunched. He latched his bottom lip between his teeth, and his thick, heavy flesh pounded my pussy. Towering over me, he held his palm to my lower back and stroked for his release.

  “Oh, baby. Feels good, so right,” he muttered.

  His hips jerked and his cock slammed higher, pumping in and out. He fought for and against his release. “Now,” he said. “Damn it, now!”

  The orgasm rolled over me and like a tsunami with only minimal warning, my climax came forward with the strength of a violent storm, one with an undertow full of consequences. Clawing across his chest, I tried to reach for him, but he pulled away. Maybe he tried to gain some composure, but I fought to break him.

  My arms were there to catch him when he collapsed against me. I reveled in the way his heavily veined cock pulsed inside me, remaining committed to the principle of bringing on pure pleasure, swelling again and responding to my every move.

  The numbing vibrations continued. His dick fluttered inside me and my walls collapsed around his hard penis. I was sated but unable to let him pull away, unsure if we should part ways and abandon each other when I couldn’t wait to show him so much more.

  “I love you, Suzy. I’ve loved you since I first saw you. Now, all I’m asking is that you let yourself love me back,” he whispered, kissing my chest and neck before whispering into my ear with a soft, heart-wrenching plea. “If you can’t tell me, then you show me. You let me know you’ll love me when you’re ready.”