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Looking Back Page 7
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Regarding him with some surprise, the nurse answered warily, ‘She is in the Martha Grant Ward. But it’s too early for visiting, I’m afraid. Are you a relative?’
Playing it safe, Jack decided not to answer. ‘She was brought in earlier today.’ Fearful he might be sent away, his heart sank to his boots. ‘I must see her. I have to be sure she’s all right.’
‘Well, I dare say I could turn a blind eye for five minutes, but no more.’
‘Thank you, nurse.’ He turned to find the ward, but was stopped in his tracks.
‘You’ll have to wait though, sir,’ she said. ‘There’s already someone with her. Mrs Tattersall has been through a bad ordeal. I’m sorry, but I can’t allow more than one person in at a time.’
‘I’ll wait.’ Determined, he informed her: ‘I’m certainly not leaving until I’ve seen her.’
A look of horror spread over her plump features. ‘Oh, I’m so sorry. You must be Mr Tattersall… the husband?’
Allowing her to assume that he was Amy’s husband, he explained, ‘I couldn’t get here any earlier. I was on a late shift, you see. I’ve only just been told.’
Mortified, the nurse apologised. ‘I understand. But she’s still very weak, so I really can’t allow more than one visitor.’ Seeing how concerned he was, she suggested, ‘I’ll go in and bring your daughter out, if you like?’
Jack was startled at the news that one of Amy’s daughters was with her. Probably Molly, he thought, and graciously declined. ‘How long will she be, do you think?’
‘Only a minute or two now,’ she answered. ‘I’ve already reminded her it’s time to leave.’
‘Is Amy in any danger?’
The nurse shook her head.
The last thing he wanted was to come face to face with Amy’s daughter. ‘Then I’ll wait.’ It was his only option in the circumstances.
Curious as to why he had not asked for more information, the nurse gestured to a nearby chair. ‘Take a seat. I’ll see if I can organise a cup of tea for you.’
‘Thank you.’ The nurse seemed nervous, he thought. ‘I came straight from work,’ he began, but when she looked at his smart clothes with some surprise, he quickly added, ‘I was attending a Union meeting. I’m the shop steward, you see. Wherever there’s trouble, you’ll find me there, looking out for the workers.’
‘I see.’ Again, he got the distinct impression that she was uncomfortable in his presence.
‘Excuse me, nurse?’ There was something about her manner that unsettled him. Lottie had told him there had been a terrible row, and that her mam was crippled with pain. ‘I was told she might have gone into labour. Did she have the bairn?’ Again the nurse began to fidget. ‘She is all right, isn’t she?’ he insisted.
‘Look, Mr Tattersall, by the time you come out from seeing your wife, the doctor should be free. He’ll answer all your questions far better than I can.’ Moving away, she told him, ‘I’ll let him know you’ll want to see him before you leave.’
Convinced that something was terribly wrong with Amy, he ran after the nurse. ‘No, wait!’ Catching up with her, he spun her round by the shoulders. ‘You tell me! You said Amy was all right. Were you lying? Did something go wrong? I want to know!’
Swallowing hard, the woman began, ‘Mrs Tattersall is fine, but…’ she took a deep breath ‘… there were complications with the baby.’ Frustration swept through her. ‘The doctor will explain. Please, Mr Tattersall, go and sit down. I’ll find the doctor and ask him to see you now.’ With that, she passed him on to a nearby auxiliary. ‘See Mr Tattersall back to the waiting area, will you, please?’
As Jack paced the floor, he was so preoccupied that he didn’t notice Molly emerge from the ward until he collided with her.
Apologising profusely, he looked into the young woman’s face and was momentarily taken aback; despite the bruises already rising on her temple and cheek, he had the oddest feeling he knew her from somewhere. ‘I’m sorry,’ he muttered. ‘I haven’t hurt you, have I?’
Molly smiled, but it was a weary smile. ‘No,’ she answered. ‘Besides, I should have looked where I was going.’ Without another word she went on her way, and he, after first glancing about to make sure the nurse was not around, made his way into the ward and up to Amy’s bed.
Amy couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw him. ‘What on earth are you doing here?’ she hissed. ‘Who told you where I was?’
‘It doesn’t matter who told me,’ he whispered, cupping her face in his hands. ‘You’re all right, just like the nurse said. That’s all I needed to know.’
Amy didn’t have to guess any further. ‘Lottie told you, didn’t she? The little devil… listening on the stairs, I might have known it. And I bet she wheedled money out of you, didn’t she?’
‘She told me there was a row. That Frank was drunk and started throwing his weight about. I was worried about you, my darling.’
‘It’s a pity you weren’t worried years ago, when it mattered.’
Her bitter comment was justified, so he let it go. Noticing the deepening bruise on her wrist, he cradled her hand in both of his. ‘If he’s harmed you, I swear to God—’
‘Stop it!’ Snatching her arm away she told him contemptuously, ‘Fighting – is that all you men understand?’
‘The bastard won’t get away with it, I can promise you that.’
‘Go away, Jack,’ she ordered. ‘It’s none of your business. I’ll not have you interfering, d’you hear me?’
He quietly regarded her; the pale, bruised features and the sadness in her brown eyes, and he felt more in love than ever before. ‘I only want you,’ he murmured. ‘Just you, and to hell with everything else.’
‘That’s what you said then.’ And just like then, his gaze swept over her and she was lost. ‘I don’t want you here, Jack,’ she whispered lamely. ‘I don’t need you.’
Slowly, he leaned forward, his eyes on hers and his hands either side of her face. When his mouth came down on hers she melted into him, and he knew she needed him, too. ‘I’ll wait for you,’ he murmured, drawing away. ‘Nothing’s changed.’
The sadness intensified. ‘I lost the bairn,’ she whispered, a solitary tear trickling down her face. ‘I didn’t want it, and the Lord took it from me, like I deserved.’
Realising why the nurse was so jittery, he held Amy close. ‘Don’t go back to him,’ he pleaded. ‘You’ve given him your best years, and he’s thrown them away. Do as I ask, Amy. Whenever you’re able, come away with me. Please!’
‘Can I bring the children?’ Still smarting from all that had happened, she asked more out of duty than love.
‘You know I don’t want that, Amy.’
‘Eddie then, and Bertha. They’re only bairns.’
‘No, Amy. I’m sorry… really.’
‘I’ve already lost one bairn, Jack. I don’t want to lose them all.’ Part of her wanted freedom, yet part of her was afraid.
‘The children will survive. They’ll have their father. And there’s Molly. You said yourself, she’s a gem. She’ll take care of them. All I want is for you and me to have a life. We’ve earned it, Amy. Surely you can see that?’
She drew away. ‘You’re asking the impossible.’ Yet, in the light of what Frank had done, what he would continue to do at every given turn, didn’t she have a right to some kind of happiness before it was too late? Or was it already too late?
Dear God, how she wanted to leave! How she wanted to close that door behind her and never again be afraid. But how could she? What of the children? If she did as Jack asked, what would become of them?
A great tide of guilt swept through her. The truth was, she felt ready now. She was desperate to take what she wanted, and to hell with everything else, as Jack would say. But she wasn’t Jack. In all her life she had never shirked her responsibilities, especially where the children were concerned. Whatever had transpired between her and Frank, it was no more the children’s fault than it was hers.
‘I want you to go now, Jack,’ she told him softly.
Undeterred, he told her, ‘When you’re better, I want you with me. We’ll go anywhere you like – America, Paris, London. Just name it and it’s yours.’
‘I can’t.’
‘You can… if you really want to.’ He kissed her again, a wonderful, warm kiss, the like of which she had not experienced in a very long time. ‘I can wait until you’re better. I’ve a few old pals to look up, and a bit of business to see to. That should fill the time in between.’
‘Don’t hang around on my account, Jack,’ she warned, ‘and don’t come looking for me again.’
‘As you say, sweetheart. But when I leave I want you by my side.’
‘Then you’ll be disappointed.’
He smiled, a small, hopeful kind of smile. Then he held her, kissed her fleetingly, and left her there.
Her face expressionless, Amy watched him walk down the ward. She watched him open the door without a backward glance, and for one incredible minute she wanted to shout his name; to ask if he would take her away now, before she had a chance to change her mind.
Then the door closed and he was gone. ‘Goodbye, Jack,’ she whispered. ‘I’ll always love you.’
Chapter Five
‘I’m sorry I’m late.’ Flushed and anxious, Molly came rushing in. ‘I got to finish work early so I could pop in and see Mam, and the bus was late as usual,’ she explained breathlessly. ‘Honest to God, you’d think they could be on time just for once!’
Rosie took her bag and led her to the armchair. ‘Sit yourself down, child,’ she ordered firmly. ‘You look all in.’
‘Where are they?’ Molly’s first thought was for the children.
‘Aw now, don’t you worry your head about them,’ Rosie answered with a grin. ‘They’re all fed and watered and won’t give you a halfpence worth o’ trouble. Eddie’s asleep in his pram in the back yard, Bertha’s upstairs out to the world, and Milly’s in the front parlour drawing pictures to her heart’s content.’
‘Is Lottie home yet?’
‘Home and out again.’ Rosie snorted with disgust. ‘If you ask me, your sister hasn’t been to work at all!’
Groaning, Molly admitted, ‘She’s beginning to be real trouble. I just don’t know how to deal with her any more.’ Lottie had always been a bit of a heartache, but ever since their mam had been away, she seemed hell-bent on making life difficult.
Rosie agreed. ‘Aye well, she’s a law unto herself is that one.’
Molly’s eyes roved round the room. ‘And where’s our Georgie?’ Although she would never admit it, Georgie was her favourite. With his infectious sense of humour and willingness to help wherever he could, the lad was a tonic in these dark days.
Hesitating momentarily, Rosie said, ‘Lottie took him to the fairground.’
‘Why?’ Letting one of the children tag along was so unlike Lottie. It made Molly suspicious.
‘Because he wouldn’t let her go without him, that’s why. “I want to ride the horses,” he said. She tried her heaven’s best to shake him off, but he was having none of it.’
Practical as ever, Molly objected, ‘But he hasn’t got any money.’
‘I gave him a bob to spend – though judging by the money I caught her counting, Lottie had enough for both of them.’
‘Hmh! Not from working for it, I’ll be bound.’
Rosie agreed. ‘But there’s no use you worrying. Have a talk with her when she gets back home if you’ve a mind.’ Her voice sharpened with anger. ‘And while you’re at it, ask her why she sent the lad home on his own, in tears.’ Shaking her fist as she spoke, she went on, ‘I never would have let him go with her if I thought she’d abandon him like that!’
Taking off her jacket, Molly hung it on the doornail. ‘Where is he now?’
‘In the front parlour. I managed to get some food down him, but he wouldn’t talk to me. “I want our Molly,” he said, and since then he’s been in the parlour, listening to the wireless.’
‘Thanks, Rosie. I’ll see what I can find out.’
Going along the passage to the front parlour, she opened the door softly, and there was Georgie fast asleep on the rug, the wireless full on and his face still grubby with tears. ‘Hello, love,’ she said. She knelt beside him. ‘Georgie, it’s me.’
Opening his eyes, it took a minute for his senses to focus and then he was in her arms, sobbing about how Lottie ‘went off with a man, and told me to find my own way home’.
Molly forced a smile. ‘It’s all right, sweetheart,’ she murmured, ‘don’t upset yourself. Just tell me quietly. What happened?’
The boy sighed, then he wiped his snotty nose on the cuff of his shirt and, just as Molly had instructed, he told her the whole story. ‘She gave me threepence and told me to go away. Only, I got on the wrong bus, and had to walk all the way home from King Street.’ His lip quivered.
Recounting the incident was too much for him. ‘I were scared,’ he wept. ‘I couldn’t find my way, and then this woman asked me if I were lost. She brought me to the end of the street…’
‘Ssh. That’s enough for now.’ Reassuring him that all was well now, and he was safely home, Molly made a suggestion that caused his eyes to light up. ‘I bet you’d like a big mug of Ovaltine, wouldn’t you? All hot and frothy, the way Mam makes it?’
Wiping his tears away, she took him into the kitchen. Rosie must have been listening at the door, for she was already making a mug of Ovaltine, and a jam buttie. ‘There ye are, me darlin’,’ she cooed. ‘Your big sister’s home now, and everything’s all right.’ And so it was.
Lowering their voices, Molly and Rosie discussed the day’s events while the little boy enjoyed his supper.
‘What in God’s name possessed her to abandon him like that?’ Molly wondered.
‘I don’t know any more than you do, me darlin’,’ Rosie sighed, ‘but I know this much. If you don’t stop fretting, you’ll drive yourself crazy!’ She felt for the girl. At eighteen, Molly was not much older than Lottie herself. It didn’t seem right that she should be landed with such responsibility. ‘Look, love, you’ve just got in, and I can see you’ve had a long day. The lad’s come to no lasting harm, and besides, I dare say that little vixen is having a whale of a time, without a thought for anybody but herself. So, you sit down and put it all out of your mind.’ Though she didn’t believe for one minute that Molly could do such a thing.
‘I’ll swing for her, Rosie, I swear I will.’
‘Tomorrow,’ Rosie joked. ‘You can swing for her tomorrow.’
Returning the smile, Molly kicked off her shoes and fell wearily into a chair. ‘You’re right. Whatever I say to her, she’ll take no notice – she never does. But in future she won’t take the childer out of this house, I’ll make sure of it.’
‘You can count on me, too,’ Rosie promised, ‘especially after what she did to young Georgie. He could have been molested or anything. It doesn’t bear thinking about.’
‘You’re right, but like you say, he’s home safe now. That’s all that matters.’ Drawing in a long breath, Molly gave a sigh that seemed to empty her heart and ease her mind, for the moment at least. ‘You’re a godsend, Rosie,’ she declared gratefully. ‘These past few days I don’t know what we would have done without you.’
Rosie gave her a hug. ‘I’m only too glad to do whatever I can, pet,’ she answered. ‘You’ve had a lot on yer plate, so ye have.’
‘All the same, Rosie, you’ve been wonderful. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.’
‘Just make my Alfie a good wife, that’s all I ask. But then I know that’s a foregone conclusion, so the debt’s already paid… if ever there was one.’
Molly’s heart was warmed. ‘It won’t be difficult to make Alfie a good wife,’ she said. ‘He’s all I’ve ever wanted.’
In fact lately, Alfie was the one thing that had kept her going. Though she loved them all, the children were a real handful, and no
w, on top of that, she had just heard news which only increased her worries.
Astute as ever, Rosie saw the cloud come over her. ‘What’s wrong, love?’
Going to the back window, Molly checked to see that Eddie was still all right. ‘What makes you think there’s something?’ she asked. Eddie was fast asleep, just as Rosie had said.
Wisely, their neighbour didn’t push the matter. If Molly wanted to confide in her, she would do so in her own good time. ‘Listen, I’ve the kettle on,’ she cajoled, ‘and there’s some of the apple pie that Maggie Lett brought round. There’s corned beef left over from the children’s tea, and a piece of barm-cake I made myself. What if I make us a couple of sandwiches and a brew. Then you can tell me how your mam is.’ Rosie wisely surmised that, with a little encouragement, one thing could lead to another. Molly trusted her, she knew that.
Molly appreciated the offer. ‘Thanks, Rosie. Tea and corned-beef sandwiches sound good to me.’ She didn’t really need the food and drink, but she did need someone she could confide in. Sandra was her best friend, but it was no good talking to her because, ever since she’d met this new fella, she’d gone all dreamy.
* * *
When they were seated round the table, the conversation first turned to Amy.
‘And how is yer mam coping?’ Molly had previously mentioned how quiet and preoccupied Amy was. ‘More like her old self, is she? Wanting to get home as soon as she can?’
‘To tell you the truth, I wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to set foot inside this house again.’
‘I see.’ Rosie wouldn’t have blamed her either, although she was careful not to say as much. Until these past few days, she had not fully realised the way of things in this house. Now though, after minding the children while Molly went to work and visited her mam, the Irishwoman had glimpsed the life Amy led, and it sickened her.
Like Amy, she was caught up in a situation which gave her no peace, and no time to call her own. With an army of children running round her feet, constant squabbles and tears, noses and bottoms to wipe and mouths to feed, there were times when she didn’t know which way to turn. But the worst time of all was when Frank Tattersall came home. Bad-tempered and drunk more often than not, he was a beast of a man.