Flummox Read online

  ‘It looks a bit like a chicken,’ I observe.

  ‘It does not,’ says Willow.

  It totally does.

  The monster opens its beak and SQUAWKS.

  Like a chicken.

  Hodgepodge does a squeaky fart in response and the monster waves its antennae at him.

  ‘Hello,’ Willow says gently. ‘I’m your new owner.’

  ‘I’m not sure owner is the right word,’ I say. ‘I don’t own Hodgepodge. This is his home and he’s my best friend.’

  Willow gives me a look and takes a step towards the monster. The monster looks unsure.

  ‘You have to give it a task,’ I tell Willow. ‘Remember?’

  Willow nods and opens her mouth.

  ‘ARTIE MULLINS AND WILLOW COLE, GET DOWN HERE

  It’s my mum, and she sounds really, really angry.

  Willow sighs. ‘Hodgepodge, stay here with the new, um, monster,’ she says. ‘We’ll be right back.’

  Mum and David Cole are really, really ANGRY.

  Arabella-Rose is sitting on the sofa in front of the TV. She has icing on her cheek and her face is all blotchy from crying.

  ‘I can’t believe you were both SO RUDE to Arabella-Rose,’ Mum says.

  Willow has her arms folded. She doesn’t say anything.

  ‘The fairy charm from my bracelet is missing,’ sobs Arabella-Rose. ‘My Uncle Cranky gave it to me!’

  I feel really, really terrible.

  It’s not Arabella-Rose’s fault that she came here on the same day that Willow wanted to make a monster.

  And it’s not her fault that her charm bracelet just happened to have a fairy charm on it.

  And it’s really not her fault that the fairy charm has turned into a sort of chickenish fluffy monster.

  ‘It will be around here somewhere,’ Mum says soothingly to Arabella-Rose. Then she turns to us. ‘Artie and Willow are going to help you find it. Aren’t you?’ Mum glares.

  ‘Yes, Mum,’ I say.

  I hate it when Mum is angry at me.

  Arabella-Rose says she’s too upset to look with Willow and me, so she’s going to stay in the lounge. She takes a bite of cupcake, and turns on the TV.

  Willow and I go to the kitchen to look for the fairy charm, which is SILLY, because we know we’re not going to find it.

  ‘I told you we shouldn’t have used the fairy charm,’ I say, lifting the lid off a teapot. ‘Stealing is wrong.’

  Suddenly, a siren wails.

  ‘They’re onto us!’ I yell. ‘WE’LL GO TO PRISON!’

  Willow rolls her eyes. ‘First of all, that’s a fire engine siren. Second of all, it’s on the TV,’ she says.

  I breathe a huge sigh of relief, but Willow is scowling.

  ‘I never get to watch TV in the middle of the day,’ she grumbles. ‘Today sucks.’

  I hear a gentle FART, and turn to see Hodgepodge, leading the new monster into the kitchen by the paw.

  ‘At least you got to make your monster!’ I say.

  Willow doesn’t say anything.

  The monster looks around the kitchen, and then lets out a SQUAWK.

  Willow awkwardly pats the new monster.

  ‘Hello, there,’ she says. ‘You’re very... soft.’

  The monster waves its antennae and giggles.

  ‘Huh,’ I say. ‘That sounds a bit like Arabella-Rose, don’t you think?’ If Arabella-Rose’s laugh was more...chickenish.

  Willow rolls her eyes at me. ‘No, it doesn’t.’

  Willow takes a deep breath and smiles at her monster. ‘We’re going to have so much fun together,’ she says, looking hopeful.

  The creature waves its antennae at Willow.

  Hodgepodge farts loudly, the flowery fart that means he’s happy. The new monster cocks its head to one side, then opens its beak again.

  A sort of farty noise emerges.

  ‘Oh!’ says Willow.

  She whistles at the monster.

  It whistles back.

  Willow claps her hands, three times.

  The monster opens its beak and a CLACK-CLACK-CLACK sound comes out.

  ‘It’s a mimic,’ Willow says proudly. ‘It can repeat sound. That’s its special power!’ Then her eyes light up. ‘I have an idea!’

  She scoops up the new monster, who lets out a startled cluck, and hurries up the stairs to her bedroom.

  ‘Shouldn’t we be looking for the fairy charm?’ I ask.

  Willow makes an exasperated noise. ‘COME ON !’

  Hodgepodge and I follow.

  Willow takes her electric guitar out of its case and plugs it into the amp.

  ‘Me and my monster are gonna rock,’ she says.

  She plays a loud, screechy chord.

  The new monster lets out a terrified SQUAWK, and scuttles under Willow’s bed. Hodgepodge puts his paws over his ears.

  ‘I don’t think monsters like the electric guitar,’ I tell Willow.

  Neither do Arties. But I don’t say that out loud, because Willow is looking really disappointed.

  We coax the monster out again, and it stands there staring at us.

  ‘It’s waiting for a task,’ I say.

  ‘I can’t think of anything,’ says Willow. She’s starting to look sad.

  ‘How about a name?’

  Willow looks at her monster.

  ‘SHREDDER?’ she suggests.

  The new monster is definitely not a Shredder.

  ‘BLAZE? SPIKE? RIFF?’

  None of them are right.

  ‘I’m sure you’ll figure it out,’ I say.

  ‘Of course I will!’ Willow is trying to be positive, but I can tell that things aren’t going the way she imagined they would.

  We hear the sound of footsteps approaching, and David Cole opens Willow’s bedroom door. Willow throws a blanket over the monster. ‘Aren’t you two supposed to be looking for Arabella-Rose’s missing charm?’

  A chickenish giggle drifts out from underneath the blanket.

  David Cole frowns. ‘There’s nothing funny about this, Willow.’

  He looks like he’s about to say something else, but the doorbell rings.

  ‘That’ll be my exotic fruit delivery,’ he says. ‘You two had better find that charm.’

  Willow doesn’t look for the charm. Instead she tries to make friends with the new monster, but it isn’t going very well. Arabella-Rose has stopped watching TV and is interrupting us instead, and ... well, Willow and her monster don’t seem to have much in common.

  First of all she tries to teach it to talk.

  ‘Okay,’ she says. ‘Say “LET’S ROCK!”’

  The monster makes confused clucking sounds in response.

  ‘I think it can only do sounds,’ I tell Willow. ‘Not words.’

  ‘Well, that doesn’t make sense,’ she replies.

  ‘We made a monster out of salt and spit and a fairy charm and a giggle,’ I remind her. ‘None of it makes sense.’

  ‘HAVE YOU FOUND MY FAIRY CHARM YET?’ asks Arabella-Rose, sticking her head into the room, holding another cupcake.

  ‘No,’ says Willow, whisking the new monster behind her amp. She glares at Arabella-Rose.

  Arabella-Rose makes a rude face at her and stalks off.

  Willow tries playing the new monster some of her favourite rock music, turned down really low. But the new monster just looks miserable and does more sad clucking.

  Arabella-Rose appears again, holding her scrapbook. ‘Even looking at pictures from my favourite musicals isn’t cheering me up,’ she says dramatically, before dragging her feet down the hallway. ‘Definitely don’t come and look with me.’

  Willow looks a bit like a dormant volcano that is on its way to being not-dormant.

  We sneak out to the backyard, and Willow tries to play soccer with the new monster, the way we do with Hodgepodge. But the new monster is SCARED of the ball. It runs away, squawking and flapping, and disturbs Murphy who is sleeping in a flowerpot.

 
THE WILLOW-VOLCANO RUMBLES.

  The back door opens and there is a dramatic sigh. ‘This never would have happened if I’d gone to one of my real friends’ houses,’ Arabella-Rose says. ‘They are all so clever and talented. And they know how to find things properly.’

  The Willow-volcano explodes.

  ‘SHUT UP!’ she yells.

  ‘You don’t even have any friends – you made them up!’

  Arabella-Rose stares at her for a moment. Then she turns around and marches inside.

  I glance over at Willow, but she’s still boiling over. She glares at the new monster. I think... she might be going to cry?

  ‘WILLOW COLE,’ shouts Willow’s dad from inside. ‘KITCHEN.

  We go inside to find Arabella-Rose tearfully telling David Cole everything.

  ‘I-I don’t know why she hates me so much,’ she blubbers. ‘All I’ve done is tried to be h-her friend. I even tried to help her with her terrible inferior music ... but all she does is say mean things.’

  Willow glares at Arabella-Rose. ‘I can’t believe you dobbed.’

  Arabella-Rose bursts into fresh floods of tears. ‘See?’ she says to David Cole.

  David Cole pats Arabella-Rose on the shoulder. ‘There, there,’ he says. ‘Why don’t you go and wait in the living room, and I’ll have a word with Willow.’

  Arabella-Rose heads out of the room, but when David Cole isn’t looking, she glances back at Willow and sticks her tongue out.

  David Cole turns to Willow, his arms folded. ‘I’m very disappointed in you, Willow,’ he says. ‘I want you to go in there and APOLOGISE to Arabella-Rose.’

  Willow shakes her head.

  ‘WILLOW. YOU WILL GO IN THERE AND APOLOGISE

  Willow glares at him, at me, at the world. Then she stomps towards the living room.

  ‘I wish Arabella-Rose would just go away,’ she mutters under her breath.

  Something fluffy whisks past my ankles.

  ‘Was that Murphy?’ David Cole asks as we follow Willow into the lounge room.

  I don’t think it was Murphy.

  Arabella-Rose isn’t in the lounge room.

  David Cole frowns. ‘I guess she needed a minute to herself,’ he says. ‘Wait here until she gets back.’

  He wanders back to the kitchen.

  I look at Willow, whose eyes are WIDE. ‘Do you think... ’ I say.

  Willow nods. ‘I wished that Arabella-Rose would go away,’ she says, her eyes wide. ‘And the new monster thought that was its task.’

  Arabella-Rose has VANISHED, and so has the new monster.

  ‘I should have known that new monster wouldn’t get what I meant,’ Willow says fiercely. ‘It doesn’t understand me like Hodgepodge understands you.’

  ‘Willow,’ I say carefully. ‘Are you a little bit disappointed with the new monster?’

  Willow glares at me, but then her shoulders slump. ‘It’s... It seems nice, but it’s not exactly what I imagined.’

  Hodgepodge farts, and I smell CABBAGE. If I had known I was going to have a pet monster, I never would have imagined one like Hodgepodge. But I still love him, just the way he is.

  ‘Maybe we could swap?’ Willow suggests. ‘You can have the new one, and I’ll have Hodgepodge.’

  Hodgepodge gives Willow a CROSS LOOK.

  ‘It doesn’t work that way,’ I say.

  ‘Ughhhh,’ Willow groans. ‘Let’s find Arabella-Rose.’

  ‘You don’t think that the new monster made her really disappear, do you?’ I ask. ‘LIKE … FOREVER?’

  ‘Definitely not,’ says Willow, but she doesn’t sound completely sure. ‘Maybe we should look in the East Wing.’

  Mum and David Cole haven’t started fixing up the East Wing yet. Mum says we have to get an engineer in to make sure it’s ‘structurally sound’ before we spend time in there.

  WE ARE IN THE EAST WING.

  I am suddenly very nervous. ‘Maybe we should tell our parents we can’t find her?’

  ‘Yeah, right,’ says Willow, and goes charging off down the hallway to the East Wing.

  ‘Wait!’ I say. ‘We need a torch. Mum has turned off the electricity in that part of the house.’

  I scurry back to my room and get a torch.

  This is a very bad idea.

  Willow frowns. ‘Can you hear that?’

  I nod slowly. It sounds like music. CREEPY MUSIC.

  Like a ghost is playing piano. CREEPILY.

  ‘Maybe we should go back,’ I say.

  Willow ignores me and marches down a dusty hallway to a closed door.

  The music gets louder as we approach, but as soon as Willow opens the door, it stops.

  We hear footsteps, and then the very distinct sound of a

  We burst into the room.

  ‘There’s no one here,’ says Willow. ‘Only this dusty old piano.’

  I look around carefully. ‘Willow,’ I say. ‘We just heard the piano playing, right?’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘And there is only one door into this room, right?’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘And we heard Arabella-Rose scream, right?’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘So where is she?’

  Willow’s face lights up. ‘Do you think a ghost was playing the piano?’ she says.

  ‘That would be so cool.’

  I do not believe in ghosts.

  However, just a few days ago I didn’t believe in monsters.

  But then I look down at the ground and notice footprints on the dusty floor. They are ARABELLA-ROSE-SIZED. And there are fingerprints in the dust on the piano, too.

  Hodgepodge climbs up and presses one of the piano keys.

  Then another—

  But the last one doesn’t make a noise. Hodgepodge looks confused, and presses down on the key again.

  He looks up at me, then back down at the piano.

  ‘Maybe you’re not hitting it hard enough,’ Willow says, and leans forward to press her own finger against the key.

  This time, the piano does make a sound.

  But it’s not a PLONK sound like before. This time it’s a grinding, crunching noise.

  The whole piano swings out from the wall, revealing an ACTUAL HIDDEN PASSAGE with stone steps leading down.

  Willow turns to stare at me. ‘This is the greatest thing that has ever happened.’

  I AGREE. This looks like the most dangerous thing that has ever happened.

  ‘We should wait for Mum’s engineer,’ I say.‘WHAT IF THE CEILING FALLS DOWN ON US!’

  Willow jumps up and down a few times, and nothing even creaks. ‘See?’ she says. ‘Solid as a rock.’

  She walks towards the opening of the passageway. ‘I bet it was Arabella-Rose playing the piano,’ says Willow. ‘And she triggered the secret passage.’

  ‘Well,’ I say, putting on my best grownup voice, ‘I think we should find her. It’s not her fault we—’

  Willow cuts me off with a glare. ‘Of course we should find her,’ she says. ‘Arabella-Rose is the most annoying person I’ve ever met, but that doesn’t mean I want to have disappeared her forever!’

  For the first time, Willow starts to look a bit worried.

  But she steps into the spooky passage.

  I pick up Hodgepodge, take a deep breath and follow Willow.

  ‘Are we even still in the house?’ Willow asks. ‘I feel like we’ve been walking for ages.’

  I hope the torch batteries don’t run out.

  Eventually, the passageway stops, and we find ourselves standing at the top of what looks like a long tunnel slide.

  It is smooth, AND SLIPPERY, AND DARK.

  I don’t know what I’m going to find at the bottom of the slide, but I know it’s going to be

  I look at Willow. Even she appears a bit scared.

  But then we hear something.

  A noise coming from the bottom of the slide.

  A noise that sounds a bit like a kid crying.

  �
�I think it’s Arabella-Rose,’ I say.

  ‘Come on,’ says Willow, and sits down with her bottom on the edge of the slide.

  She takes a deep breath, and pushes off, disappearing into the darkness.

  ‘WILLOW?’ I yell after her.

  I look down into the blackness.

  ‘THIS IS A BAD IDEA,’ I say, stepping away from the edge of the slide. ‘I'm not doing it!’

  But Hodgepodge farts an encouraging flowery fart and points down the slide.

  I sigh.

  ‘Okay, Hodgepodge. We'll do it together.’

  I sit down on the edge of the slide, Hodgepodge on my lap.

  Me and Hodgepodge shoot out of the slide, landing on an old soft cushion, in a VERY STRANGE ROOM.

  There is no pool of crocodiles, or ancient crypt, or evil wizard’s laboratory.

  The room has six sides, and on each side there is a door painted a different colour. The red door we just came through swings shut behind us.

  The room is crowded with comfy-looking chairs and small tables and footstools. The ceiling is painted to look like the sky at night, and I don’t need my Junior Scientist Magazine Special Night Sky Lift-Out to know that all the constellations are in the right places.

  In the middle of the stars, golden letters spell out the words

  Stretching over our heads is a set of monkey bars, and a series of small ropes and ladders. The ropes and ladders look too small for people to use, even kids.

  Willow is standing in the middle of the room, looking around with her mouth open.

  And Arabella-Rose is sitting in an armchair, holding the new monster in her arms and GLARING AT US.

  ‘I KNEW there was something WEIRD about you two,’ Arabella-Rose says. ‘Your house has a dungeon! And your pet is a monster chicken.’