Forgiving Natalie Read online

I nodded. “It was fun catching up with him. He’s going to college and coaching at one of those low-income youth programs.”

  Uncle Leo was quiet for a minute. “You should invite him to lunch sometime. I’d love to meet him.”

  “Really?”

  He nodded. “Just tell him I want to thank him for serving our country by treating him to my niece’s home cooking.”

  “You do?”

  A sly smile tugged his lips. “I do, but I also want him to taste your cooking so he’ll fall in love with you.”

  I shook my head and laughed. “Such a romantic, Uncle Leo.” Standing, I gathered the plates to clear the table. “I’ll invite him to lunch, but I’m not looking for a husband or a relationship.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m just not.” I cut two slices of the Italian cream cake I’d made this morning and brought them to the table. I loved cooking, and had I not become a nurse, I would’ve gone to culinary school.

  Uncle Leo took a bite of his cake and moaned appreciatively. “This is good.” Pointing his fork at me, he said, “You need a man to take care of you when I’m gone. I’m not going to be able to die in peace until you find someone.”

  I laughed. “First of all, you’re never going to die. And second, I don’t need a man to take care of me. I can take care of myself.”

  Before he could respond, he started coughing so hard he couldn’t breathe. I moved in to nurse-mode, retrieving his oxygen and placing it over his nose and mouth. I rubbed his back and counted aloud, waiting for the attack to end.

  I hated that his episodes were occurring more frequently now. I couldn’t lose Uncle Leo. I couldn’t. He was the only family I had, and I’d be devastated without him.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, when his coughing subsided.

  He nodded and pushed away from the table. “I’m just going to lie down for a little bit. I’ll save my cake for later. Will you wrap it up for me?”

  “I will. I’ll also leave the stew in the crockpot so you can have it tonight when I’m at work.”

  “Thank you, honey.”

  Using his cane for support, he left the kitchen. I washed the dishes, wondering if I should find someone to take my shift this afternoon. Uncle Leo didn’t like it when I missed work to take care of him, but I hated leaving when he wasn’t feeling well. Maybe I could ask the lady next door to check on him tonight.

  With the kitchen clean, I walked down the hall to the master bedroom. Uncle Leo was already under his blanket with his eyes closed. Sitting on the edge of his bed, I picked up the framed photo of Aunt Ruthie from his nightstand.

  “I miss her every day,” Uncle Leo said, opening his eyes.

  “I know.” Smiling sadly, I returned the photo to its proper place. “Do you want me to read to you before I leave?”

  He shook his head. “Not now. I just want to sleep.”

  “Are you sure? One of the other nurses gave me the latest Stephen King novel. It’s about—”

  He placed a cold, paper-thin hand on top of mine. “Not right now, Natty girl. I’m fine. Just tired.”

  A cold chill swept through me. “Are you sure?” I knew I was hovering, asking a question I didn’t really want to know the answer to, but I couldn’t help myself. I just wanted him to be okay.

  “I’m not going to die on you today if that’s what you’re asking. I promise. I just need a little more sleep than usual.”

  “Okay.” Pushing away my fears, I came to my feet and turned off his nightstand lamp. Then, I stood beside his bed, watching him breathe.

  Squeezing my eyes tight, I prayed to the God I struggled to believe existed. Keep him with me just a little longer. I’m not ready to be on my own yet.

  Uncle Leo muttered something in his sleep I didn’t understand. Hoping he’d say it again, I leaned closer. “Uncle Leo?”

  His voice was raspy but clear. “Still breathing. Not dead yet.” His eyes shot open, and he winked at me.

  I laughed. “Don’t do that to me.”

  “Okay,” he agreed, smiling. “But don’t stand there staring at me like I’m going to die on you. I’m anxious to see my Ruthie again, but I promise I won’t leave you today.”

  “Thank you,” I said, kissing his cheek before leaving the room.

  *

  During my dinner break at work that night, I grabbed my jacket and stepped outside to call Uncle Leo. To my relief, he was feeling much better. He even insisted I go out with my friends after work like I usually did on Saturday nights.

  “I’ll probably just come home,” I said, thinking about the horrible coughing episode he’d had this afternoon.

  “No, it’s important you spend time with people your own age. If I have any problems, I’ll call you.”

  “Okay.” I hung up the phone and was surprised to see Gage heading my way across the parking lot. Clean shaven and hair neatly combed, he wore dark jeans, a sweater, and a leather jacket.

  When he reached me, I employed a heavy dose of sarcasm to hide my excitement at seeing him again. “Don’t tell me you were attacked by another dog,” I teased.

  He chuckled and pressed a hand to the bandage on his face. “No. Trust me. From now on, I plan on keeping my distance from angry-looking dogs.”

  “Good idea.”

  He shoved his hands into his back pockets and smiled at me. I smiled back, really wanting to know what he was doing here. Maybe in addition to coaching basketball at the center he volunteered in the hospital’s burn unit or made balloon animals for children on the cancer ward.

  A smile escaped me, and he asked, “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing.” I shook my head and caught a faint hint of his manly cologne. It took everything in my power not to step closer and freak him out by inhaling his delicious scent.

  “So . . .” Gage rocked back on his heels. “I was wondering . . .”

  “You were wondering . . .” The flirtatious tone in my voice surprised me. Then again, it was easy to joke around with a guy so far out of my league. It wasn’t like I had anything to lose by flirting with him.

  Gage hesitated, causing my heart to give a jolt. He wasn’t going to ask me out, was he?

  No, Uncle Leo’s teasing had simply gotten to me. Gage probably just wanted to know how long he was supposed to take his antibiotic or when he could remove the bandage.

  “Actually,” he continued, “I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me sometime.”

  “Oh.” He stared at me, waiting for me to say something besides oh, but that’s all I could manage.

  “Is that a yes?” he asked, smiling.

  I nodded. “Sure, that’d be fun.”

  “Great. How about tomorrow night?”

  I shook my head. “I’m working for a friend tomorrow.”

  “Okay. What about tonight?”

  “I don’t get off until eleven—”

  “Perfect. Eleven is perfect. Should I meet you in the waiting room?”

  I paused, waiting for my mind to catch up with my emotions. Play it cool, Natalie, I told myself. He’s just being nice. It’s not like this is a date or anything.

  “We can meet somewhere else if that’s easier,” Gage said.

  “Actually, a bunch of us walk across the street to the diner for breakfast. If you want, I could just meet you there after my shift, but—”

  “I’ll be there. The diner at eleven.” A huge smile took over his entire face, making me think he was really excited about having dinner with me.

  Trying not to overanalyze the situation, I returned to the ER. For the rest of my shift, I thought about my nerdy high school self. If only I could go back in time and reassure her that things would get better.

  High school was tough, but college would be amazing. I’d tell her about all the wonderful friends from nursing school and how Gage Merona asked me out. I smiled at the thought of my younger self accusing my older self of being delusional.

  “What are you smiling about?” Dr. Abbot asked. />
  “Nothing.” I tried to tamp down the bubble of excitement gurgling through me, but it refused to be subdued.

  “He must be cute,” Dr. Abbot said.

  Refusing to jinx myself, I remained silent and concentrated on doing my job. Seven minutes before my shift was supposed to end, the emergency room doors burst open, bringing victims from an accident involving several vehicles. As often happened, the evening shift got caught up in the chaos and ended up staying until nearly one in the morning.

  By the time I left the hospital, I thought for sure Gage would’ve given up on me. As I crossed the street with my coworkers, I saw him sitting in a booth by the window, reading a book. The bitter Chicago wind whipped my hair, but I hardly felt the cold, given the heat burning inside me.

  He’d waited. Why had Gage waited for me? Taking a sip of his coffee, he turned the page of his book and continued reading as if he had all the time in the world to wait for me.

  “Earth to Natalie. Hello?” called Janet, my head nurse. “Did you hear me?”

  “What?” I pulled my gaze from Gage and looked at her. “Sorry. What did you say?”

  Janet rolled her eyes and laughed. “Oh, honey, you’ve got it bad, don’t you?”

  I nudged Janet with my elbow. “No, I don’t. I’m just surprised he’s still here. I mean, why did he wait?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “No.”

  “He likes you.”

  I glanced back at Gage and shook my head. “No, guys like Gage Merona don’t like girls like me.”

  “Hey, positive self-talk,” Janet insisted, looping her arm through mine. “Positive self-talk.”

  Chapter 4

  Gage – 2006

  As Natalie entered the diner with her friends, I glanced up from my book. My heart did this strange flip-flop thing, and I quickly looked away, embarrassed by my reaction.

  Although I hadn’t recognized Natalie right away in the ER last night, I definitely remembered her from high school. She’d sat next to me in math class, and I remembered her being incredibly smart without being condescending like all the other brainiacs. She’d also been kind, taking care of Sheela Murphy at that party even though Natalie’s kindness was the last thing Sheela deserved back then.

  In hindsight, I regretted doing nothing to stop the rumors Sheela had spread about Natalie’s family in high school. I supposed I was simply too selfish to say anything. Ever since losing my leg, I’d been trying to be a better person, which was why I’d invited Natalie to dinner. Well, that and the fact she was hot. I was a guy after all.

  Closing my book, I scooted out of the booth and came to my feet. Natalie said goodbye to her friends and walked toward me.

  “Hi,” she said, smoothing back her hair. “I can’t believe you’re still here. We got slammed at work, and I didn’t have your number. I thought you’d probably given up on me and gone home.”

  “Oh, ye of little faith,” I said, teasing her. “Of course, I didn’t give up. I told you I’d be here. Besides, I have a good book.”

  She took the book from me and read the title aloud. “Ender’s Game. That’s one of my favorites.”

  I grinned at her, amused. “You’ve read Ender’s Game?”

  “I have. My Uncle Leo is a huge science fiction fan. He has trouble reading now because of his eyes, so I read aloud to him almost every afternoon. Sometimes he listens to audiobooks, but I enjoy reading to him.”

  “Really?”

  She nodded, and a beat of awkward silence fell between us.

  I gestured behind her. “Should we join your friends?”

  She glanced over her shoulder, then back at me. “Not tonight. Let’s just sit here, okay?”

  I nodded, and we took our seats in the booth, across from each other. Smiling, she handed me back my book. “Are you a big reader, Gage?”

  “I am now.” I reached for the salt shaker and slid it from one hand to the other. “Growing up I never read for fun, but my platoon leader force-fed me a couple of his favorite paperbacks until I was hooked. Now, I always have a book going.”

  “Me, too.”

  The waitress came to the table, and we both ordered hamburgers, fries, and a drink. I was glad Natalie wasn’t one of those girls too self-conscious to order anything but a salad in front of me.

  After the waitress left, I asked Natalie about some of the other books she’d read with her uncle. She listed a bunch I’d already read and several I hadn’t.

  “You lived with your uncle in high school, right?” I asked, remembering the older man coming to school when Natalie had been suspended for stealing makeup from Sheela’s locker. Later, it turned out that Sheela had left her makeup bag at home. Natalie’s suspension had been lifted, and Sheela had apologized for the accusation, but I imagined it didn’t repair Natalie’s damaged reputation.

  “I’ve lived with my uncle ever since the third grade,” Natalie said.

  I nodded, and our conversation turned to movies. Natalie was shocked when I confessed I’d never seen one of her favorites.

  “It’s about a pig, right?” I asked.

  “Yes, but Babe is about so much more than a pig. It’s got humor, drama, love . . . honestly, it’s the best movie ever. You have to see it.”

  “Is it better than The Godfather?”

  “Yes. I’ve never seen The Godfather, but I’m sure it’s better than that.”

  I put up my hands in surrender. “Okay, I’ll see the pig movie with you if you promise to see The Godfather with me.”

  She laughed, and her face flushed the slightest hint of red. “The way you just said pig makes me think you’re not aware that pigs are one of the smartest animals on the planet.”

  “I know they’re smart. I read Charlotte’s Web.”

  Natalie rolled her eyes. “You know it was the spider who wove those messages in the web and not the pig, right?”

  “Of course.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”

  “No.”

  She laughed at my admission, then proceeded to educate me about Charlotte’s Web. She also told me all about the intelligence of pigs, which according to her were one of the most underrated animals.

  “Did you know that pigs can find their way home from miles away?” she asked.

  “No, I didn’t know that.”

  She nodded, enthusiastically. “A farmer in Ireland once sold a pig to another farmer, and that pig walked nearly three hundred miles to get back home. Can you believe that?”

  I laughed. “That’s pretty incredible.”

  She stared at me. “Sorry, that probably sounded really nerdy. I didn’t mean to go off on pigs like that.”

  I shook my head. “Don’t apologize. I like hearing you go off on pigs like that. It’s interesting.”

  A companionable silence fell between us as we smiled at each other. Then, Natalie turned the conversation to me and my work at the center. “That’s a really good thing you’re doing, working with those kids.”

  I shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”

  “It’s a huge deal. I’m sure you’ve impacted their lives more than you can imagine.”

  The waitress arrived with our order, and as we ate, we talked about what we’d been doing since high school. Natalie had graduated from nursing school last year and was planning on going back for her master’s degree. “I love working in the ER, but having my master’s would allow me to teach and earn—” She glanced up at me, suddenly embarrassed.

  “It would allow you to earn more money,” I finished for her.

  She stirred her soda with a straw. “Sorry. I don’t mean to sound greedy.”

  Picking up a French fry, I shook my head. “You don’t sound greedy. Money gives people opportunity. That’s just a fact of life. I recognize that.”

  She was quiet for a minute, then she said, “I just want to have a good job so I can pay my bills and take care of my uncle. He’s done a lot for me, and I want
to return the favor.”

  “That’s understandable. And admirable.” I had a sudden urge to reach across the table and take her hand. Not wanting to scare her away, I refrained. “You have a good heart, Natalie.”

  She gave a bashful smile. “You’re one to talk. You turned down an opportunity to play basketball in college in order to join the military. You suffered an injury, and now you work with disadvantaged youth. If anyone has a good heart, it’s you.”

  I shook my head. “As I told you last night, I like working there. The guys see my leg and automatically feel sorry for me, so it’s easy to connect with them.”

  She cocked her head to the side. “Why do they feel sorry for you? Your prosthesis doesn’t seem to hold you back.”

  I shrugged. “It does on the court a bit. I try not to use it as an excuse because I know I’m lucky to have survived the explosion. Still, missing a leg makes things a little more challenging.”

  “I bet.”

  The waitress came to the table, checking to see if we needed anything. We both shook our heads no. After she left, Natalie asked what I was studying in college.

  “Marketing,” I answered.

  “What are you going to do with that?”

  I found myself telling her about the full-time position I’d been offered at the center. “I think it’d be a great opportunity for me, and I think I could really make a difference with those kids, you know?”

  “That’s wonderful, Gage. Are you going to take the job?”

  I hung my head. “No.” Saying the word aloud made me realize how sad I was about needing to turn down the offer.

  “Why not?”

  I wiped my mouth with my napkin and pushed my plate away. “My parents are expecting me to work for our company.”

  “And . . .”

  “And that’s what I need to do.”

  Natalie took a sip of her drink. “You don’t sound very excited about that.”

  “You’re right, but my mother’s great-grandfather founded the company. It’s been in our family for generations, and I’m expected to do my part to keep it going. I’ve already done my own thing by joining the Marine Corps and working at the center. So, as my parents say, it’s time to get serious about my life.”