Forgiving Natalie Read online

  Forgiving Natalie

  By Kristin Noel Fischer

  Copyright © 2017 Kristin Noel Fischer

  All Rights Reserved

  Kindle Edition

  Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. No part of this work may be reproduced in any fashion without the written consent of the copyright holder.

  All characters in this book are fictitious and figments of the author’s overactive imagination.

  www.KristinNoelFischer.com

  Cover by Lyndsey Lewellen

  Formatting by Paul Salvette

  Dear Reader,

  I’m so excited for you to read Forgiving Natalie. I love all my books, but this is definitely one of my favorites.

  My husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in San Francisco. What surprised me the most about that city was The Golden Gate Bridge. Because I’d seen the bridge in so many movies, I hadn’t expected the real-life version to take my breath away. All I can say is what an impressive structure!

  As Joe and I walked through the city and ate at all the wonderful restaurants, an idea of how to revise a story I’d written years ago began to take shape. I’d always loved Natalie and Gage’s story of second chances and healing. Changing the setting to the west coast was exactly what this book needed.

  Writing can be such a lonely profession. Thank you for all your support and encouragement! Your letters, reviews, and prayers mean more than you can imagine.

  All my love,

  Kristin Noel Fischer

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Author’s Note

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Epilogue

  Author’s Note

  Excerpt from Anna’s Courage

  Acknowledgements

  Chapter 1

  Natalie – 2017

  To-Do List

  1. Sell everything.

  2. Drive to San Francisco.

  3. Introduce Dash to his father.

  4. Leave Dash with his father.

  5. Return to Chicago alone.

  6. Go to jail.

  “It’s Alcatraz!” eight-year-old Dash shouted from the back seat of the rental car. “Do you see it, Mom?”

  Shuddering, I tightened my grip on the steering wheel and focused on driving across the Bay Bridge. Maybe bringing Dash to San Francisco was a mistake. Maybe this time a list wouldn’t solve my problems and I should just turn the car around and go back home to Chicago.

  Except, after selling everything, I no longer had a home. No longer had anything but Dash, his dog, and a determination to face my past instead of run from it.

  Through the rearview mirror, I watched Dash pull his labradoodle, Roxy, onto his lap and point out the window. “This is San Francisco, Roxy. Our new home. Do you see all the buildings? Do you, girl?”

  In response, Roxy began barking and racing across the back seat from one window to the other. I pressed my fingertips to my temple. The dog’s constant yapping drove me crazy.

  Still, I was grateful Dash had her. Everybody needed a faithful companion when on the verge of a major change in life.

  “How long until we get to our new house?” Dash asked once Roxy stopped barking.

  I turned on my blinker to exit I-80. “The rental is just a few minutes away, but we’re not scheduled to meet the landlord for another hour. I thought while we still had the car we’d drive down to Fisherman’s Wharf and find a place for Roxy to run around.”

  “Do you mean use the bathroom?” asked Dash, never one to mince words.

  “Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.”

  “I thought so. I have to go, too. Hey, look. There’s the Ferry Building.”

  Glancing to my right, I spotted the historic clock tower as Dash began spouting off everything he knew about the Embarcadero, which was a lot. Before leaving Chicago, we’d checked out several library books and had watched hundreds of YouTube videos about San Francisco. If things didn’t work out with Dash’s father, I joked to myself, Dash could always earn a living by becoming a tour guide.

  Yet, as my son continued talking, I once again questioned the sanity of my decision. Would I actually be able to follow through with my plan? Would I actually be able to leave Dash with Gage?

  The thought of being separated from my son was unfathomable. Dash was my whole world, and I’d do anything for him, which was why I had to turn myself in and go back to jail.

  I couldn’t live with this constant fear anymore. I couldn’t continue having panic attacks every time I encountered a cop or saw the flashing lights of a patrol car.

  “There’s Coit Tower, Mom.”

  I looked to my left and swallowed hard. Years ago, Gage had kissed me on the top of that tower. He’d told me he loved me and that we’d be together forever. Unfortunately, forever turned out to be much shorter than either one of us had imagined.

  As if reading my mind, Dash said, “Do you think my dad’s ever been to San Francisco?”

  The knot in my stomach tightened. Dash’s questions regarding his father had increased lately. Hopefully, that was a good thing, given the fact that Gage would soon have full custody of the son he didn’t even know existed.

  What would Gage say when I told him about Dash? Would he despise me for keeping his son a secret? Would he refuse to acknowledge Dash as his own? Of course, none of that compared to what Gage would say when I told him why I needed to go back to Chicago.

  Hands trembling, I reached for my water bottle, only to discover it was empty. Placing it back in the cup holder, I swallowed past my dry throat and continued driving.

  In an ideal world, Gage would patiently listen as I explained everything. While he might disapprove of my actions, he would at least try to understand and be supportive.

  Most importantly, he would embrace the son who grew more like him every day. He would welcome Dash into his life and promise to take care of him while I was gone.

  “I think Roxy and I are going to like San Francisco,” Dash said, his voice full of hope and enthusiasm. “I can’t wait to get started on my new life.”

  Glancing back at Dash, I forced a smile. If only I could borrow some of his optimism as I started my new life without him.

  Chapter 2

  Natalie – 2006

  After a year of working every weekend as an emergency room nurse, I’d seen my share of drunken frat boys who believed they could le
ap from tall buildings. I’d taken care of toddlers with all sorts of things stuck up their nose, and I’d learned to spot a drug seeker even before they mumbled the word “toothache.”

  Basically, I’d come to expect to be both surprised and disgusted by humanity every Friday and Saturday night. Never in a million years, however, did I expect to be reunited with Gage Merona, my high school crush.

  Gage came into the ER one Friday evening in January after being attacked by a dog. Right away, I recognized his easy smile and mocha-colored eyes.

  Like every other girl from our high school, I’d been in love with him forever, especially after he announced he was going to delay his college education to serve in the Marine Corps. That had been right after 9/11, and a lot of the boys on the basketball team had made similar announcements. Gage, however, had been the only one to follow through.

  After deploying, an explosion had blown off his right leg and caused other injuries that forced him out of the military. Although he now wore a top-of-the-line prosthetic, his military service had cost him his dream of playing college basketball.

  I knew all this about Gage from the numerous newspaper articles in the Chicago Tribune praising him as our hometown hero. Our high school had also written about Gage in the St. John’s Sun.

  Still, there was a huge difference between reading about Gage Merona and seeing him in person. He was even more gorgeous now than he’d been in high school.

  Nervous, I leaned over to examine the bite mark on his face. When he smiled at me, my insides exploded. He still had that glint of amusement in his eyes, but there was also a touch of sorrow that all veterans seemed to carry after going to war.

  “You look familiar,” he said, studying me carefully. “What’s your name?”

  “Natalie.” I pushed a strand of hair off my face, feeling self-conscious in my wrinkled scrubs and durable work shoes. Usually, I felt empowered by my nurse’s uniform, but after being on my feet all day, I felt grungy and worn out.

  His eyes narrowed as they did whenever he was concentrating back in Mr. Dudley’s calculus class. “We went to high school together, didn’t we? You were a cheerleader, right?”

  “No.” I laughed at the absurd notion that I’d had time in high school for anything but studying and working. I didn’t come from a wealthy family like Gage and everyone else at St. John’s. If not for an academic scholarship and tips earned waiting tables, I wouldn’t have attended the private school.

  “No, you didn’t go to St. John’s, or no, you weren’t a cheerleader?” he asked.

  “No, I wasn’t a cheerleader.”

  He nodded. “Volleyball?”

  Shaking my head, I did my best to maintain a level of professionalism by not blushing. “I need you to lean back so I can wash out your wound.”

  He hesitated. “Well, that doesn’t sound like fun.”

  I gave an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I’m just trying to save your life, but if you’d rather die of infection . . .”

  Grinning, he lay down on the table.

  As I turned to collect everything I needed, a rough-looking teenager pushed aside the curtain. The kid barely looked fifteen, but he smelled like cigarette smoke and had a gang-like tattoo on his neck.

  Before I could tell him to leave, he glanced at Gage. “You gonna live, Coach?”

  “Are you worried about me, Rhodes? I’m so touched.” Gage spoke in a teasing voice as he pressed a hand to his heart. “I always knew you cared, I just didn’t know how much.”

  The kid, Rhodes, rolled his eyes and mumbled something I pretended not to hear. Foul words were common in the ER, but this kid seemed to have an advanced degree in profanity.

  “Hey, that’s not how you speak in front of a lady,” Gage snapped. “Apologize.”

  Rhodes looked down at his shoes before shooting a quick glance in my direction. “Sorry.”

  I shrugged. “That’s okay.” I’d definitely heard worse. Much worse, but I appreciated Gage’s chivalry. He’d always been a gentleman, even if he had no idea who I was.

  “Mr. Dudley’s math class,” Gage said, snapping his fingers. “You were the smart girl who sat next to me.”

  I nodded. “That’s right.”

  Gage grinned so hard, I couldn’t help but smile back at him. He shook his head with amazement. “Wow, Natalie. You look incredible.”

  Heat crept up my face. “Thanks.” I could tell he wanted to say more about my transformation, but I was grateful he didn’t.

  Although my appearance had improved since high school, I was always embarrassed when people droned on about how much I’d changed. It felt like they were saying I only mattered now because I’d replaced my thick glasses with contacts, learned how to use makeup, and had straightened my teeth. While I liked how I looked in the mirror these days, listening to compliments always left me feeling sad for that geeky girl who just wanted to fit in.

  I set the bowl on the table and soaked the gauze in the solution. “This might sting a little.”

  Gage flexed his arms and chest in an exaggerated motion. “I’m ready.”

  As carefully as I could, I placed the gauze on his cut, feeling bad when he sucked in a sharp breath and murmured, “Ouch.”

  Rhodes chuckled. “Does it hurt, Coach?”

  “A little,” Gage admitted.

  That just made Rhodes laugh. “Man, maybe next time you’ll listen to me about going in that dog’s backyard to get the ball. Some things just aren’t worth it.”

  I met Gage’s gaze head on. “You got this bite on your face because you went into a dog’s backyard to get a ball?”

  He gave a bashful grin. “Yeah, not my smartest move.”

  “Not your smartest move?” Rhodes laughed some more. He cussed, then quickly apologized.

  “No problem,” I said, continuing to wash out Gage’s wound. “How do you two know each other?”

  Rhodes made a scoffing sound of mock disgust. “He’s my coach at the center. You know, the guy who’s supposed to be setting a good example for kids like me. The guy I’m supposed to look up to.”

  Rhodes cracked up, and Gage just shook his head. “Hey, Rhodes. Why don’t you go back to the waiting room and check on the others? I’ll be done in a minute.”

  “Okay, Coach.” With a sarcastic smirk, the kid turned and walked away, allowing the curtain to fall back into place.

  I finished my task, then pulled off my gloves, and threw them away. “What did he mean by the center?”

  “Be the Change Center,” Gage explained. “It’s a program designed to keep at-risk kids off the street. While I’m finishing my last year of college, I’ve been working there.”

  “Do you like it?”

  “I love it.” He beamed at me with enthusiasm.

  “What do you do there?”

  “Coach basketball. Sometimes I work in the office. Mostly, I listen when the kids want to talk. You wouldn’t think listening would be that big a deal, but it’s actually the most important part of my job.”

  “I believe that.”

  He stared at me, making me wonder if he realized I would’ve qualified for one of those at-risk programs. Wanting to avoid that topic, I gave him instructions on how to care for his injury. “I’ll walk you up to the nurses’ station to check out.”

  He climbed off the table, and as he came toward me, I was surprised by his profound limp. He glanced down at his prosthesis and gave an embarrassed smile. “My stump is always a little sore at the end of the day. It’ll be fine once I go home and soak it.”

  I nodded, not even able to imagine the pain associated with losing a limb. While there’d been tremendous advancements in the area of prosthetics, amputees still faced plenty of challenges.

  Of course, seeing Gage push through his pain with a smile only increased my admiration for the guy who thought of me as the smart girl from Mr. Dudley’s math class.

  In my mind, I gave a huge sigh. Good-looking, athletic, generous with others, and a wounded warrior? N
o wonder I was still carrying a torch for him.

  Chapter 3

  Natalie – 2006

  “You’re awfully quiet. What are you thinking about?” Uncle Leo took another spoonful of the stew I’d made us for lunch. Because I worked the three to eleven p.m. shift, we always ate our biggest meal together at noon.

  “I’m just thinking about work last night,” I said, reaching for a cracker.

  “Tough shift?”

  “No, it wasn’t too bad.”

  “Well, did you meet Prince Charming?”

  “What?”

  Uncle Leo laughed. At eighty-three, his mind was sharp even though his body grew weaker by the day. Years of smoking had plagued him with COPD—chronic obstructive pulmonary disease—a horrible lung disease that restricted airflow, making it hard to breathe.

  “You have this dreamy look about you,” he said. “I was just wondering if you finally met your future husband last night.”

  Smiling, I waved a dismissive hand. Uncle Leo was a romantic and thought everyone should be in love. He and my Aunt Ruthie married young and remained faithful to each other until her death fifteen years ago. I supposed forty-nine years of wedded bliss entitled Uncle Leo to be concerned about my lack of marriage prospects.

  “For your information,” I said, “I was working, not on the prowl for romance.”

  “You work too much. You always have.”

  I shrugged. I had big goals, and working hard was the only way I knew how to accomplish those goals.

  Years ago, Uncle Leo had rescued me from foster care, giving me a home when nobody else would. Now that I had my degree, I intended to use it to afford the things we needed and wanted. Currently, I was saving to buy Uncle Leo a fancy recliner that had an electronic lift to help him stand.

  “Who did you meet?” Uncle Leo asked, his hand shaking as he took a sip of water.

  I refrained from helping him, respecting that he needed to be as independent as his body would allow. “I just ran into Gage Merona, that guy from my high school.”

  “The basketball player we read about in the paper?”